Resolution Check Up

Yeah yeah I know I haven't posted the last day of my oregon trip yet but I'm angry and I'm drunk so I'm currently DRANGRY!!
Let's see how this post goes.

How you doing world!? 

I just thought I'd check in on you and your resolutions because you know, and if you didn't know! 

IT'S FEBRUARY 1ST TODAY!

Yes that means you're going into the second month of the new year and your resolution I hope is still going strong.

But you know pessimistic me.

I'm pretty darn doubtful that you're still on that bandwagon.

Look at me.

This morning I found out I've lost 20 pounds in 2 months

and now I'm fucking wasted on my living room floor writing this post.

(alcohol is chockerblock full of calories if yall weren't aware and were still trying to lose weight)

Yes I have a glass now and then but nothing like this. but I think I deserve this.

My rage is just soooo prominent it couldn't be denied.

I might even order food still.

Why not. It's not even 7 

THE NIGHT IS YOUNG!

But this post isn't about me. 

It's about you.

Your resolutions.

How you doing?
(And keep in mind I think resolutions are just setting yourself up for failure)

It's interesting how I can tell people are failing their resolutions.

January 4th. I was walking myself up to Royal Oak for the weekly sunday mosey that's about 40 minutes point A to B and then I have to go back. Bleh.

But on this January 4th (I'm not actually sure that was the day) It was a Sunday

A giant mob of neon colored runners went by me! 

Yeeeeess I thought to myself. There are all those resolutioners. Off to a good start on their goals to lose weight.

I nodded stepped aside and allowed them all to flock pass. It was quite a sight.

The next week. 

About half the number I came across. (20)  

And I thought hmmmm. maybe they run different routes every sunday. who knows

don't be so negative of other humans! at least they're trying.

BUT

as January dragged on. the number of people I encounter out walking twindle and twindle.

February 1st and we're pretty much back to the normal amount of runners as there was in Novemeber.

Now and then I see a new face and I'm like Koodos resolutioner! You got this.

But to the rest of yall that have decided to watch The Biggest Loser at home on the couch and feel better about yourselves by thinking man I'm so much better than those fattasses. 

I hope you walk by a mirror real soon and see for yourself the failure you've inflicted.

At least they're trying. 

Though in some totally insane weightloss competition which I don't believe is healthy at all.

I mean I'd love to lose 10 pounds every week but I know that an average of 2 is something to be proud of!

TAKE THE SMALL VICTORIES!!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!

Put down that cheesecake! Throw out that fondue! AND GET ON UP GET ON UP!!! (AVPS if you don't know what I'm talking about)

Also something that has really helped me is just walking with music.

I'm a very emotional person. 

I'm full of thoughts.

And sometimes it's really hard to keep yourself in line.

Go for a walk. Think it out. Breathe the fresh air.

Listen to Fall Out Boy! Seriously.

You'll feel great.

So if you've given up already.

I hope you can find the strength to keep going.

Next time you're walking up a hill instead of thinking about this steep incline in front of you.

Think about that cow at work you're always covering for. Curb stomp her with every step up that hill!

YOU GOT THIS!!!

 

Peace and Love

The Sassafrass

Cathing Up To Bald For Biebs!

What up! Let's catch some things up!
So I had this really sweet dream the other day but I can't really explain it because if you don't know who I am you don't know the people that were in it but I can tell you the beginning.
So my mother, my sister and I had to run away from the country. I have no idea where we lived or why we had to leave but I know the country wasn't Canada. I think we were escaping to Canada. But the only way people on the run could get out of the country was by flushing yourself down Niagra falls...There was 5 different parts to the falls and you had to be careful when being flushed and a good swimmer cause if you didn't get out at the right safety station you would be flushed away and die a horrible watery death.
When you were flushed in all you had to hold onto were those neck brace things that come down on you when you ride a roller coaster but you weren't strapped on.
Suprisingly we actually did pretty well, my sister almost got washed away on the last one but then she burst through the surface and flew to the shore and she was fine. We had escaped to somewhere. And that's all I can really tell you because you don't know the rest of the people who are important to the dream.
But the awesome thing was I woke up the moment the dream was done!
At the time I thought it was the best dream I ever had! I had to write it down! But I couldn't turn on the light of course, it was still night time and light would hurt my eyes. So I had the brilliant idea to grab my cellphone and just write it under a memo....I'm so stupid. Cellphones are very bright! Especially in pitch blackness!
So there I was completely blinded at 4 in the morning. But it was alright because I fell back asleep until 10am.
I've also had a lot of freedom recently now that I don't have to care about managing a show and I have a break before I have to mentor the Good Person of Setzuan. Naturally in my free time I attempt youtube hair tutorial videos which usually fails because my hair does not currently fit under a length category. Which sucks!
But I think I succeeded in my I Love Lucy look. Though I didn't get a picture of the whole outfit....actually even this picture of my hair isn't very good! But I was proud of it!

THE BEST NEWS! I finally got to go to pole tonight!
It has been 3 weeks since I've been to pole! That's forever! But I can still do most things! (except hold myself up of course, that's never gunna happen)
I got to do a new turn and everything! It's called the reverse ballerina, I would post a video so you could see what it looks like but I can't find one....sad world doesn't appreciate pole goddesses!
Anyways I should probs go to bed. Even though my body is not going to move in the morning. I did an hour of this Dancer Physique class. IT WAS BRUTAL! I wanted to vomit and chop all my limbs off it was so bad! I won't be doing it again next week.

NOW! to the title of this post because I just found out and I think it's hilarious!
Some trolls on the internet tricked Bieber fans into believing he had a very rare form of leukemia....
To show their support Bieber fans all over the world shaved their head for him! It trended on twitter!
Think about this with me now! A HUGE! portion of the worlds tweens and teens are bald (mostly girls) because of one giant internet trolling spree!!
Ok yes cancer isn't funny but in this care I'm amused!
Well played trolls, well played.