When Nuns Retire

Sooooo...
Remember way back when and I wrote that blog post about wanting to run off and become a nun?
I've changed my mind!
I've been learning a lot about nuns in the past month and let's get real. It's not for me.
First you have to like pledge yourself to God.
Then think about being a nun for like 4 years (one of those years you have to take a vow of silence!!!!)
Then you're like "yeah I still wanna be a nun"
AND THEN YOU MARRY GOD!!!!!!!
The whole reason I was going to join the nunnery was to avoid relationships!!
I don't want to get married to GOD!?!
Let alone spend a year silent...so that won't be happen.
Plus I just learned all about nun retirement.
Let me explain!

So as a theater department we have a props shop. And recently this beautiful living room set was donated, like the couches you would see in a Pride and Prejudice sitting room!
And I asked my Gumpette who works in props where it came from....And she said "A retirement home for nuns"
....
LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT HERE PEOPLE!!
NUNS!
DON'T!
RETIRE!

They do not! you can argue it out with me but I've had a lengthy discussion with several people and it's just not done!
Being a nun is a full time job. Every breath. Every waking moment that these nuns are alive are dedicated to being nuns!
They pray. They walk around thinking about their husband God. They do the nunnery version of housework. You know working in the garden and cleaning tables and painting bedrooms and what not. And they do this until they die!!
Yes you're right... nuns get old just like normal people. But when this happens, the just go chill in the nunnery hospital or go to The Building Where Nuns Go To Die Home (or Nun Hospice my friend likes to call it) but this is by no means! In no way! A retirement home!!!
Believe you me those nuns are stillllllll praying! Until they kick it!

And this is why nuns don't retire:
THEY CAN'T!
Think about retirement. When most people retire they have a fair amount of money saved up, they get a pension, they wake up at home one day and just don't have to go to work. They might putter around their garden, sit on the porch and drink lemonade, and pretty much just live off their retirement money until they die or have to find a new job or go poor.
Nuns can't do that because they work for free! Or the love of God if you prefer. But they in no way make any money. They garden all the time, take time to do other things and pray some more.
But if the nun wanted to retire and decided to collect up her life savings and peace out to a home that doesn't exist outside the nunnery she'd have a pretty freaking difficult time! Let me tell you!
She has no money so she can't buy a house, can't buy food, has been gardening for hella eva! She'll be out on the streets in no time!
Which is why they keep you in the Nun Hospice when you're too old to garden so that you can pray in bed until finally you can 'retire' AKA DIE! and go hang out with God.
That's retirement! Finally getting to be with your husband after years of servitude.
(Sucks if you ask me)
And the only way you can stop being a nun is if you
A) get kicked out like Maria in The Sound of Music because she's too happy and sing songy to be in the nunnery they send her off to go become the mother of some captain's 7 kids.
B) Leave/Run away like Audrey Hepburn in The Nun's Story. Which  Walt assure me ends with Hepburn walking down an alley way and not going to hell for her betrayal.

So thanks no thanks.
I will deal with the idiots of the planet, continue speaking, and avoid nunneries.
They're just not for me.

Stress Fractures

Oh hey world,

Clearly I have no interest in being on top of things right now so I'll just post in my blog instead of doing those stressful things.

So the past few days I've been apprenticing at a theater here in Victoria. And you know how when you get a new job you feel like you should be doing something, proving your worth....but there's like literally nothing for me to do so I just kind of stand. FOR HOURS!

The other night was opening and there were all these opera people around. I will tell you now, opera audiences are the worst most snobby above anyone else audience people you'll ever meet. Yes they applaud wildly, they give the act of watching opera their all. But they can just be soooooo rude and snippity. Anyways, so for opening night I basically stood for 12 hours. In heels, flat heels mind you that are usually very comfy but on this occasion decided to take me out.

My feet feel like all those snooty opera goers looked at little apprentice me standing in the corner and went

over and over and over again.

So me and some smart dancer type people have concluded that I probably have stress fractures in my feet. I can't even begin to explain the pain. It's constantly throbbing and I've made sure to stand as little as possible today. 

I've taken to pushing myself around my basement suite by using only my heels on my rolling chair. I kinda look like this

Only I'm super tired so I'm going much slower and some of my floor is carpeting so I kind of just hit that and stop. I just want my feet to stop hurting, massaging them hurts, stretching them hurts, wiggling my toes hurts. Pretty much everything hurts them accept heat packs and bubble baths.

And it's like people know my feet are super messed up so they're going around making my life as difficult as possible.

I went on a field trip today for my first year english class...to the library...the place where I work. And this dreary man who really knew nothing about the library tried to educate me and then made me walk down and back up the flights of stairs! Naturally I went to my teacher before this tour and was like "oh hey I work here, please don't make me go on this tour!" and he was like "NOPE! We're gunna have fun!" But all we got were some nasty glares in the silent area.

It doesn't help that last night closing at the library this rude kid wouldn't leave and then I'm pretty sure was hiding and now I don't even know if he actually left after I thought he left. He could have just come back upstairs when I was on a different floor! 

AND IT'S SO RUDE! People have no regard for me as a human, they just have this stupid goal of staying in the library over night which I can't image would be any fun at all. So my feet hurt more and more.

Now I have to go find some comfortable shoes to wear for the rest of march for this apprenticeship so my feet don't break.

I also have a ton of homework I have no interest in doing and won't be doing because I'm going to bed as soon as I finish writing this. My milk is going to go bad tomorrow which means I have to get more

and it's all just too much!

I need a caregiver! My friend Monica seems to think I just need a boyfriend but in my experience they generally don't do anything of use when you need them. No I need a caregiver. Someone to wash my dishes and make me food and hell, straighten my hair for me because my arms are too tired to reach.

Maybe I'll go over to the nursing department and ask if anyone needs some work experience (unpaid of course)  It would definitely make my life easier.

Right now I feel like this

Night!