Sunday 28 April 2013

Kim's Nightmare

Sooooo as some of you know I'm going to be an asian whore in the upcoming production of Miss Saigon in Victoria (It opens this week)
And you may have read all the way back to when I was taking pole dance lessons and all I wanted was to be a call girl.
For reals, being a whore is my calling next to singing and acting.
So when I got in Miss Saigon I was ecstatic! I mean there's only 1 and a half actual asians in the show and I'm black but I figured I look more asian than all the white people. So yes stoked! I was going to be a whore!
But every step of the way to my whoredom has been a struggle. Yes I get to be a whore but I am the most reserved nunish looking whore you've ever seen.
See we have this costume designer.
He makes great show girl pieces.
Fine.
But man does he have a hate on for fat girls.
There's me, another girl (who has slimmed down significantly during this run) and an old lady and we're all in traditional, pretty sure they're chinese, dresses for this bar scene.
Do I feel like a whore?
No.
All he did to make it more whorish was raise the skirt....so when I lift my arms above my head the whole dress goes up and my bottom is definitely exposed. Don't worry, I'm wearing underwear on top of my tights.
So yeah. Naturally we feel like shit as every other girl in the scene is walking around in bras, panties, lingerie, bathing suits. Completely exposed!
And they complain about it!
They complain about being uncomfortable.
They complain about the me being creepy and gross. (Some of them are but the rest are acting that's why we're here)
Of course, I'm the only girl in the show with actual pole dance experience but instead of getting up and working the pole I'm made into a vendor.
A vendor with a very ill fitting shirt.
And during The American Dream, while everyone is either in show girl 2 pieces or form fitting dresses this man took a sheet of fabric. cut a whole in the middle and glued some stars on it!
I am wearing a drape, literally.

It really sucks you know, when you give up a lot of your time and put a ton of hard work into something only to be treated like shit and given low self esteem.
Naturally the costume guy has not yet insulted me directly as I would tear him a new one. But some of the things he's said to the other girl are just unacceptable.
If I could I would just switch out his dresses for lingerie of my own, he probably wouldn't even notice since he doesn't focus on us. But I'm not going to bother. We're almost to opening.
There's no point in getting worked up now.
On the other hand, I'm getting my hair dyed black so I don't have to wear a wig....
The joys of theater continue.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

I have some spare time here and I'm not really sleepy so I'd like to address a little something.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.