Wellllllll
Christmas happened.
Usually one of my most dreaded times of the year next to the birthdays of other family members. I'm not sure if it's because I'm the second youngest grandchild, my sister being the youngest or if my father's dislike of people is so embedded in me that I also hate people gatherings...probably a combo.
So every year about 6 times a year I have to go and sit and endure the old people questionings of if I like school have I seen my extended family in Victoria (of course not) what I plan on doing when I graduate blah blah blah blah I don't care. And no one really cares about the answer so I don't know why they insist on bothering me so.
BUT THIS YEAR! Yes I was most clever!
My parents went to a friends open house before family dinner and I was like I could go....but I would rather not be miserable for 10 hours, 6 hours is enough for me thanks. Which meant I had to bring the classic buns to be baked mother said show up around 5:30...cause dinner is supposed to start around 6 and they take about 15 minutes to bake....dinner never starts on time.
So I showed up at 5. Extra early and....volunteered in the kitchen!
PURE GENIUS!! The kitchen is a safe place as long as you're working in it because my uncle just shoos the people who shouldn't be in there out which means they can't talk to me! Can't bombard me with inane questions! Can't demand why I'm single with no intention of getting married! AHAHAHA I was brilliant, brilliant BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!
And of course I was right when I said dinner wouldn't start til 7:30, it was like 6 and my uncles like no no, hold off on the potatoes there aren't enough people here yet.
But see the problem is everyone expects dinner to start late so they just show up right before 7 expecting to be fed and not having to wait. And then the old people just descend! They see the food and they go for it even though it's not all out yet. Sigh old people but whatever. If their mouths are full they still can't talk to me.
Ugh! but then I found out that I don't get to go to my cousins wedding in the summer! I am sooooo upset! I've been waiting for these weddings, multiple cousins have decided it's time to start those things called families...ridiculous but whatever it's not my life and they're all late 20s early 30s so I guess they should get on that if they don't want to die alone....like I will be!
Pft, quelle domage. Whatever will I do keeping all my money...or all my poverty to myself and not have to deal with someone stealing my blankets and nagging me about kids.
I think I'll live.
but anyways so my cousin and his getting married. Perfectly fine because he's awesome and his fiance is pretty awesome too but as we were talking, I honestly don't know what I said because it's just so second nature now that my cousin was like "wow you just went full black there"
And it's just another reminder of how much I've changed since going to UVic.
I was so white when I went to school but uvic is almost a completely white campus and white people have expectations. I have become so ridiculously sassy at school because that's what people want, no complaints I quite like it.
Also it gives me a cover to be rude because they really can't tell the difference.
Everyone's all Cecilly is so sassy, hence nickname Sassily but really I'm just rude or I hate you but think what you want. I find it hilarious.
But alas here we are on the last day of 2012.
And though I had wished for the world to end on the 21st I guess I will be forced to live another year. (21 this year, fun fun.)
We'll see how I fair because right now the world isn't looking good.
If the rumors are true....2013 will bring the birth of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's child=DEMON SPAWN
So maybe the Mayans were a year off?
Nah probably not but it did serve for some excellent tumblring while it lasted.
I took Ernesta and Anita to the states yesterday for shopping. It was the bomb! not literally there were no bombs...But we got a ton of Vanilla Coke.
Went to a real 5 Guys Burgers and Fries.
Bought a ton of clothes....it was a good day.
Ernesta is an english major and rarely goes to the states so she was just freaking out over all the things it was so cute.
I'm going to miss my Vancouver friends when I go back to school in a couple of days but I gotta go back to school and I miss my island friends too. Plus there are quite a few things that have gone down since I left and it's catch up time...watch out UVic I'm coming for you!
Basically all I can ask of 2013 is that it not snow so much, better music with less dubstep, give Taylor Swift at least 3 more boyfriends by next year so she can continue to make terrible yet catchy music, Money would be nice but I've never received it when I've wished for it so I'll just keep the day dreams where they are.
Either way I've got some good ideas for 2013. We'll see if they happen.
And if you keep reading this into the New Years, you'll be privy to if they happen.
Monday 31 December 2012
Monday 24 December 2012
The World Didn't End and So This is Christmas
SIGH WORLD!!!!
As you may have noticed the world did NOT end on the 21st though I wished on all the shooting stars and 11:11s that came my way. This I find most distressing.
But why Cecilly would you want the world to end? It's such a happy place full of loved ones and pretty things?
....meh
You know, I like my friends (Some of them more than others) but if the world ended I think we could all get over it. Or maybe hang out in the after life whatever that may be. Or our bodies could rot together if you're into that kind of thing but by the 21st I had basically seen them all. I think the only person that really matters whom I still haven't seen is Gnomes but I'm sure there's internet in Heaven. She could have sent me an e-card or something.
And had the world ended on the 21st I would have been very intoxicated with a group of people who I find mostly tolerable though I constantly question why we still meet every break. Do you have those friends?
Maybe I just really don't like people, it wouldn't be the first time I've thought this. But let's think of some of the great things that would have happened had the world ended.
Good Things:
As you may have noticed the world did NOT end on the 21st though I wished on all the shooting stars and 11:11s that came my way. This I find most distressing.
But why Cecilly would you want the world to end? It's such a happy place full of loved ones and pretty things?
....meh
You know, I like my friends (Some of them more than others) but if the world ended I think we could all get over it. Or maybe hang out in the after life whatever that may be. Or our bodies could rot together if you're into that kind of thing but by the 21st I had basically seen them all. I think the only person that really matters whom I still haven't seen is Gnomes but I'm sure there's internet in Heaven. She could have sent me an e-card or something.
And had the world ended on the 21st I would have been very intoxicated with a group of people who I find mostly tolerable though I constantly question why we still meet every break. Do you have those friends?
Maybe I just really don't like people, it wouldn't be the first time I've thought this. But let's think of some of the great things that would have happened had the world ended.
Good Things:
- All of you with student loans wouldn't have to pay them back.
- You'd never have to go to work or school or job hunting ever again!
- Kristen Stewart would also be dead!
- 50 Shades of Grey would never be made into a movie!!!
- If you had delayed Christmas shopping you wouldn't have to go buy people things!!!!
On that last one, Christmas is tomorrow or if you're in BC in an hour and 15 minutes. That's too close.
If you haven't gone shopping yet I've got news my friend, you're screwed! Unless you're not giving out presents until the new year...then you've got time.
But ugh! Christmas! Ernesta and I were talking about why we can't stand the thing anymore and we're not sure if it's family, gift giving or the general bitterness of growing up.
If you're under 18 and reading this, yes growing up sucks! Hold on to that youthfulness, sneaking out, under age drinking in parks on playgrounds and stuff! Those are the good times! And if you're looking forward to clubbing stop! It's just a bunch of sweaty people grinding on each other totally plastered. But if you find or know of a club that is just straight up dancing let me know, I wanna go.
But anyways back to Christmas. So we're bitter.
Bitter that we can't afford anything worth wild to give our families or friends with jobs. Annoyed that we have to see that side of the family we've been avoiding for months (Most of my family this year has either gotten engaged, pregnant or very recently dumped....ring the gongs the shows about to start).
All in all this leads to the general student attitude of hating Christmas and commercialized holidays and materialism but there is literally nothing you can do.
And so this is Christmas.
- Escaping with Ernesta and Sharona to do as many fun things as possible, like the Stanley Park Christmas train today. We went with all the children and oohed and aahed and laughed.
- Reading fanfiction when at home and again failing to explain to my father the concept.
- Failing to write anything because my brain clearly only wants to be creative when driving or moving around which isn't good for writing things out by hand.
- And not having knitting needles to start knitting things with all the yarn I bought....
Allllllllll the cheer.
I wonder how long these scroogey feelings will last...Either way I'm ready to get out of Maple Ridge and back to my safe island of Victoria. I'm sure Gumpette and Aurora will have plenty of wonderful stories to tell me that will lighten my mood.
To those of you who do still love this holiday I wish you the best of luck.
To those in the boat with me, put a little rum in that egg nog I promise it helps.
Wednesday 19 December 2012
Da Ridge!
Well well well!
Look who's home in Maple Ridge.
Why yes it's me! Your most glorious and beloved leader.
Though I have only been in the actual city of Maple Ridge for a little over 6 hours my time back on the mainland has proven to be treacherous indeed. Only 2 days til the world ends you know.
Anyways.
So I got on the ferry yesterday morning expecting to see people I knew as the 2nd years had their final history exam on Monday but there were none. I was completely alone. So I enjoyed my time attempting to get a head start on my fiction assignment for writing next semester....but that didn't work I think I'm stuck on play mode....basically came out as a long monologue.
But I think I would very much like to write a story about the merpeople who live in the waters around the Gulf Islands...I think it would be smashing but then I am a little odd.
So I made it almost the whole ferry ride before I looked over and noticed these boys...these boys that seemed very familiar....but I thought nooooo why would I know these people they look like sciency types I wouldn't know them...
And then as we were about to dock I realized who they were. They were the boys from my night of drinking with Walt in his rez....and they looked over...and they obviously knew who I was...so I pretended not to see them.Quite embarrassing but they're first years so I think I will overcome it.
Oh lord and then I went clubbing for my friend Jude's birthday. I've decided that I quite dislike Vancouver clubs they're no fun, often ridiculously small, over priced and full of people I don't want to be around.
So a bunch of us went home early which was fine with me. And it would have been a fantastic night if Ernesta had just let us get chinese food! But she didn't! Because apparently it was a very classy place and we all looked like hookers! So rude!
And then the worst possible thing that could have happened happened late in the night/early morning....it started to snow....
Now Vancouver almost never gets snow. We're not used to it, don't know how to handle it. And it wasn't even forecasted but low and behold when I woke up this morning, first as per usual, and was bombarded by facebook pictures of snow covered cars and houses I rushed to the door! And there was about 15 cm of snow if not more which is TOO MUCH!
I think part of the reason I stay on the west coast is to avoid snow. And you can be certain that P.Bob, who was driving us all home is not an experienced snow driver.
She drives a very large blue ford taurus....not meant for snow...with all seasoned tires....which have probably never seen snow.
Naturally....we got stuck and the 4 passengers had to get out and push! Good lord we got wet! Poor Ernesta fell twice and it was definitely one of those moments I thought the car might roll backwards and flatten her. I would have been do upset without her in my life I'm glad this didn't happened.
We somehow managed to get onto the main road, mostly because this beige van waited patiently for us to get unstuck and held up traffic to let us in.
We passed many stuck busses and stalled trucks who were putting on chains. We had to go up this awful hill and this guy with his nice expensive car was laying down newspaper to try and get traction...needless to say it didn't work and the papers went flying.
Goodness me were we ever wet and a half. And we spent all day wet as we went for Ihop (You can never go wrong with restaurant coffee) and then went to see the HOBBIT!
I finally understand all these girls fangirling over the dwarves. They were quite attractive I must say.
And though my feet stayed wet for nearly 8 hours I have no regrets.
Welcome back to da ridge me!
ttfn
Look who's home in Maple Ridge.
Why yes it's me! Your most glorious and beloved leader.
Though I have only been in the actual city of Maple Ridge for a little over 6 hours my time back on the mainland has proven to be treacherous indeed. Only 2 days til the world ends you know.
Anyways.
So I got on the ferry yesterday morning expecting to see people I knew as the 2nd years had their final history exam on Monday but there were none. I was completely alone. So I enjoyed my time attempting to get a head start on my fiction assignment for writing next semester....but that didn't work I think I'm stuck on play mode....basically came out as a long monologue.
But I think I would very much like to write a story about the merpeople who live in the waters around the Gulf Islands...I think it would be smashing but then I am a little odd.
So I made it almost the whole ferry ride before I looked over and noticed these boys...these boys that seemed very familiar....but I thought nooooo why would I know these people they look like sciency types I wouldn't know them...
And then as we were about to dock I realized who they were. They were the boys from my night of drinking with Walt in his rez....and they looked over...and they obviously knew who I was...so I pretended not to see them.Quite embarrassing but they're first years so I think I will overcome it.
Oh lord and then I went clubbing for my friend Jude's birthday. I've decided that I quite dislike Vancouver clubs they're no fun, often ridiculously small, over priced and full of people I don't want to be around.
So a bunch of us went home early which was fine with me. And it would have been a fantastic night if Ernesta had just let us get chinese food! But she didn't! Because apparently it was a very classy place and we all looked like hookers! So rude!
And then the worst possible thing that could have happened happened late in the night/early morning....it started to snow....
Now Vancouver almost never gets snow. We're not used to it, don't know how to handle it. And it wasn't even forecasted but low and behold when I woke up this morning, first as per usual, and was bombarded by facebook pictures of snow covered cars and houses I rushed to the door! And there was about 15 cm of snow if not more which is TOO MUCH!
I think part of the reason I stay on the west coast is to avoid snow. And you can be certain that P.Bob, who was driving us all home is not an experienced snow driver.
She drives a very large blue ford taurus....not meant for snow...with all seasoned tires....which have probably never seen snow.
Naturally....we got stuck and the 4 passengers had to get out and push! Good lord we got wet! Poor Ernesta fell twice and it was definitely one of those moments I thought the car might roll backwards and flatten her. I would have been do upset without her in my life I'm glad this didn't happened.
We somehow managed to get onto the main road, mostly because this beige van waited patiently for us to get unstuck and held up traffic to let us in.
We passed many stuck busses and stalled trucks who were putting on chains. We had to go up this awful hill and this guy with his nice expensive car was laying down newspaper to try and get traction...needless to say it didn't work and the papers went flying.
Goodness me were we ever wet and a half. And we spent all day wet as we went for Ihop (You can never go wrong with restaurant coffee) and then went to see the HOBBIT!
I finally understand all these girls fangirling over the dwarves. They were quite attractive I must say.
And though my feet stayed wet for nearly 8 hours I have no regrets.
Welcome back to da ridge me!
ttfn
Saturday 15 December 2012
How To Drink Tons and Not Die
Well hello there internet.
In all honesty, I have no idea how one makes it through a night of drinking without dying or serious injury. True there are many who don't make it through the night and many who do and I am fortunate to be one of those who do....for several nights in a row.
Which is basically all I've been doing, what I was doing in my last 2 posts but I think we need a sober recap of the more important events on those nights.
December 6th! Twas my friend, Shenanigads birthday
She is a history major so we met at her house with many smart historical types and drank and played Cards Against Humanity which is like a more bad ass version of Apples to Apples. And we watched her get inducted/baptized in the traditional Dutch way to become a worthy owner of the Dutch card game Dutch Blitz....it was very strange but we supported her and were proud to have seen her come so far.
December 7th! SMUTCo PARTY!!
Smutco stands for Student Musical Theater Company which basically means of people who really really love musicals and are denied any form of singing in the Phoenix so they started their own club so each year they can do a review of sorts of their favorite songs. This year were doing classics like Cell Block Tango and America as well as new goodness like Let Me Be Your Star, 96,000 and other solo/mash ups. It's super awesome and we had a party for just us members but lots of people were already gone because it's exam week. But Lord Chase and myself were drinking heartily. It twas then decided that we be new best drinking buddies! After I was walking home and i thought I would take this shortcut that leads to a road with the same name as my road but they don't connect so I got lost. I was walking along and I saw this guy go sprinting across the road in front of me so I took out my pocket knife just in case...don't want to die. And he goes sprinting back across the road and sits in his car....it was creepy but he paid no notice to me and didn't stalk me home so I think he was a delivery guy...even though it was like 1 in the morning....
December 8th I took a little rest. It's hard being drunk so much.
December 9th! Alfred and I were together again!
After a very long day of work in the library Alfred brought me along to his friend Michael's birthday party...I've met him like twice....not awkward.
But before we could get there however I had a long bout of nose bleeding. It was awful and I never get them so I had no idea what to do! And his friend Pat, driving us there, wouldn't let me in the car until it stopped! It wasn't good. I just lied face down in the parking lot until it stopped because the pavement was cold. Not a good start....BUT THEN! I met this guy Nick while I was there and we were both drunk and we got into this massive conversation about Egg Nog and how freaking fantastic it is and all her friends always disagree! Turns out he had egg nog!...at his house....like a 20 minute walk away.
Now I hope you're all smarter than me and would never follow a random stranger you met at a party away from your friends because he promised you egg nog...it was no wise. But luck was with me and he was not a rapist! Just a friendly drunk who had egg nog. So we walked all the way to his house which was a fair distance and all the way back. Without a coat of course because drunks can't be bothered with trivial matters....got back to the party about 5am...it was definitely winding down. Luckily Alfred was still there,, quite worried that I had run off somewhere without my things and with some random guy but happy enough to see I wasn't dead.
Took some time off then...thought I might study for my writing exam but I didn't.
December 13th! WRITING EXAM!
So Lord Chase and I planned to go drinking after this exam and it's a good thing we did because it was a very bad exam. It called for shots. So we climb up mount Tolmie, get our glow sticks on start drinking. Are super drunk on the top of this mountain looking out at Victoria lights. We decide to get pizza and start walking back but instead of getting pizza from the caf, it's like 9:30, we order from this Beer and More to you door thing because His Lordship decides we need more alcohol, I was not opposed.
But we ordered wine....and I don't like wine...I can't drink it it's just so gross! But he insists we get a magnum...which when I ordered I thought was a brand or type....but it's a size!
A VERY LARGE BOTTLE OF WINE!!! ...and I still don't like wine...I ended up mixing it with pepsi to drink...cause I'm just so classy! It was also Antonio's birthday today so at midnight we sent him an e-card of our faces.
And possibly the silliest idea we had all night...was making a video for Jennifer Lawrence to tell her how much we love her....
Yes it was a solid night to be had....could have died I was so drunk but alas. Here I am still on earth and not even hung over!
Luck is my friend.
So how should you drink tons and not die?
Step 1: Drink all your alcohol really fast right away! You get super drunk super quick but as the night goes on you work it off so that by the time your ready for bed you're only slightly tipsy! (does not work for everyone)
Step 2: Drink with your friends! At least then, even if you're both super freaking wasted some one else will be there in the case of your death....
Perhaps step 2 should have been choose trustworthy friends to drink with....I trust my friends enough to call 911 before running off and hiding in the bushes.
Step 3: Tell someone where you are! (have you noticed these steps have no specific order?)
I always let someone know where I am. My drunk texting has become much worse though this year and I often hit 6 letters at once on my blackberry so it doesn't always work but as long as someone knows your drinking it's a good start.
I tried to tell Antonio about going for egg nog with Nick, and when I turned down the wrong street and got lost on the night of Smutco party but all he said was don't die and don't stab anyone not very helpful or sympathetic.
So maybe he isn't the best to tell.
I try to tell Aurora, if she's awake she's pretty good at deciphering or being worried which is always appreciated. I think she probably just sits there laughing and my incomprehensibleness.
Sometimes I text Gumpette about the cool things.
And generally Alfred knows in advance that I'm going out.
other than that sometimes I text who ever is near the top of my contacts list...like Pamela the other night...didn't tell her where I was or that I was drunk just that I loved her a lot.
These are the keys that I can give you.
If you wake up not dead then I can tell you to drink water. Eat salty things...or just hope there's food in your house....during show weeks there is never any food in my house. It's a shame.
Well good luck to all of you still writing exams, happy living to all of those who aren't.
In all honesty, I have no idea how one makes it through a night of drinking without dying or serious injury. True there are many who don't make it through the night and many who do and I am fortunate to be one of those who do....for several nights in a row.
Which is basically all I've been doing, what I was doing in my last 2 posts but I think we need a sober recap of the more important events on those nights.
December 6th! Twas my friend, Shenanigads birthday
She is a history major so we met at her house with many smart historical types and drank and played Cards Against Humanity which is like a more bad ass version of Apples to Apples. And we watched her get inducted/baptized in the traditional Dutch way to become a worthy owner of the Dutch card game Dutch Blitz....it was very strange but we supported her and were proud to have seen her come so far.
December 7th! SMUTCo PARTY!!
Smutco stands for Student Musical Theater Company which basically means of people who really really love musicals and are denied any form of singing in the Phoenix so they started their own club so each year they can do a review of sorts of their favorite songs. This year were doing classics like Cell Block Tango and America as well as new goodness like Let Me Be Your Star, 96,000 and other solo/mash ups. It's super awesome and we had a party for just us members but lots of people were already gone because it's exam week. But Lord Chase and myself were drinking heartily. It twas then decided that we be new best drinking buddies! After I was walking home and i thought I would take this shortcut that leads to a road with the same name as my road but they don't connect so I got lost. I was walking along and I saw this guy go sprinting across the road in front of me so I took out my pocket knife just in case...don't want to die. And he goes sprinting back across the road and sits in his car....it was creepy but he paid no notice to me and didn't stalk me home so I think he was a delivery guy...even though it was like 1 in the morning....
December 8th I took a little rest. It's hard being drunk so much.
December 9th! Alfred and I were together again!
After a very long day of work in the library Alfred brought me along to his friend Michael's birthday party...I've met him like twice....not awkward.
But before we could get there however I had a long bout of nose bleeding. It was awful and I never get them so I had no idea what to do! And his friend Pat, driving us there, wouldn't let me in the car until it stopped! It wasn't good. I just lied face down in the parking lot until it stopped because the pavement was cold. Not a good start....BUT THEN! I met this guy Nick while I was there and we were both drunk and we got into this massive conversation about Egg Nog and how freaking fantastic it is and all her friends always disagree! Turns out he had egg nog!...at his house....like a 20 minute walk away.
Now I hope you're all smarter than me and would never follow a random stranger you met at a party away from your friends because he promised you egg nog...it was no wise. But luck was with me and he was not a rapist! Just a friendly drunk who had egg nog. So we walked all the way to his house which was a fair distance and all the way back. Without a coat of course because drunks can't be bothered with trivial matters....got back to the party about 5am...it was definitely winding down. Luckily Alfred was still there,, quite worried that I had run off somewhere without my things and with some random guy but happy enough to see I wasn't dead.
Took some time off then...thought I might study for my writing exam but I didn't.
December 13th! WRITING EXAM!
So Lord Chase and I planned to go drinking after this exam and it's a good thing we did because it was a very bad exam. It called for shots. So we climb up mount Tolmie, get our glow sticks on start drinking. Are super drunk on the top of this mountain looking out at Victoria lights. We decide to get pizza and start walking back but instead of getting pizza from the caf, it's like 9:30, we order from this Beer and More to you door thing because His Lordship decides we need more alcohol, I was not opposed.
But we ordered wine....and I don't like wine...I can't drink it it's just so gross! But he insists we get a magnum...which when I ordered I thought was a brand or type....but it's a size!
A VERY LARGE BOTTLE OF WINE!!! ...and I still don't like wine...I ended up mixing it with pepsi to drink...cause I'm just so classy! It was also Antonio's birthday today so at midnight we sent him an e-card of our faces.
Luck is my friend.
So how should you drink tons and not die?
Step 1: Drink all your alcohol really fast right away! You get super drunk super quick but as the night goes on you work it off so that by the time your ready for bed you're only slightly tipsy! (does not work for everyone)
Step 2: Drink with your friends! At least then, even if you're both super freaking wasted some one else will be there in the case of your death....
Perhaps step 2 should have been choose trustworthy friends to drink with....I trust my friends enough to call 911 before running off and hiding in the bushes.
Step 3: Tell someone where you are! (have you noticed these steps have no specific order?)
I always let someone know where I am. My drunk texting has become much worse though this year and I often hit 6 letters at once on my blackberry so it doesn't always work but as long as someone knows your drinking it's a good start.
I tried to tell Antonio about going for egg nog with Nick, and when I turned down the wrong street and got lost on the night of Smutco party but all he said was don't die and don't stab anyone not very helpful or sympathetic.
So maybe he isn't the best to tell.
I try to tell Aurora, if she's awake she's pretty good at deciphering or being worried which is always appreciated. I think she probably just sits there laughing and my incomprehensibleness.
Sometimes I text Gumpette about the cool things.
And generally Alfred knows in advance that I'm going out.
other than that sometimes I text who ever is near the top of my contacts list...like Pamela the other night...didn't tell her where I was or that I was drunk just that I loved her a lot.
These are the keys that I can give you.
If you wake up not dead then I can tell you to drink water. Eat salty things...or just hope there's food in your house....during show weeks there is never any food in my house. It's a shame.
Well good luck to all of you still writing exams, happy living to all of those who aren't.
Sunday 9 December 2012
REUNITED AT LAST!!!
Oh happy internet people!
Many weeks have gone by since I have had the pleasure of seeing Alfred.
Certainly we have chatted now and again on the facebook but we have both been terribly busy in our respective areas of study that we have not the time to see one another.
Alfred is graduating this year you see which means much homework for a biology/ psychology major and I'm simply not quick enough with my essay writing or studying to see him. This being. We haven't seen each other in almost 4 weeks!
Absurd for how much time he spends doing my dishes and keeping me on task.
Also, as I previously mentioned many posts back, he had ripped his back open on his little back trip to Tofino and has spent much of his time lying on his stomach healing.
BUT ALAS HE HAS RETURNED!!! Though suspiciously after I have done my own dishes....hmmmm.
Sadly I must go to work for 4 hours! An absurd amount! I know people with regular jobs are like "tis nothing!" but my 4 hours will be spent walking around the library and telling people not to eat and stop snoring even though it's exam week and they couldn't possibly do such things in the confines of their houses.
But! After work, we will party! Not that I need, as he takes the time to point out, any particular reason for drinking. After Friday night however I feel like many would agree.
If you remember many months back I mentioned my Front of House partner Antonio, he would certainly agree with my no longer needing to drink. A very long conversation about dragons and dangerous people on the streets. But alas, it is all in good fun and my favorite first year (we'll call him Walt) is fantastic company and together we make a grand couple of drunkards.
So yes, Alfred and I shall party tonight! Until then it's Love Actually time! I am happy!
Life is good!
I hope yours is too!
Many weeks have gone by since I have had the pleasure of seeing Alfred.
Certainly we have chatted now and again on the facebook but we have both been terribly busy in our respective areas of study that we have not the time to see one another.
Alfred is graduating this year you see which means much homework for a biology/ psychology major and I'm simply not quick enough with my essay writing or studying to see him. This being. We haven't seen each other in almost 4 weeks!
Absurd for how much time he spends doing my dishes and keeping me on task.
Also, as I previously mentioned many posts back, he had ripped his back open on his little back trip to Tofino and has spent much of his time lying on his stomach healing.
BUT ALAS HE HAS RETURNED!!! Though suspiciously after I have done my own dishes....hmmmm.
Sadly I must go to work for 4 hours! An absurd amount! I know people with regular jobs are like "tis nothing!" but my 4 hours will be spent walking around the library and telling people not to eat and stop snoring even though it's exam week and they couldn't possibly do such things in the confines of their houses.
But! After work, we will party! Not that I need, as he takes the time to point out, any particular reason for drinking. After Friday night however I feel like many would agree.
If you remember many months back I mentioned my Front of House partner Antonio, he would certainly agree with my no longer needing to drink. A very long conversation about dragons and dangerous people on the streets. But alas, it is all in good fun and my favorite first year (we'll call him Walt) is fantastic company and together we make a grand couple of drunkards.
So yes, Alfred and I shall party tonight! Until then it's Love Actually time! I am happy!
Life is good!
I hope yours is too!
Saturday 8 December 2012
A Drunk Nightmare on 5th Street
QUICK! In the tiny lull between my exams I will tell you a story!!!
Alright so the other night was my friends 20th birthday. And unlike when I turned 20 and cried in bed over my loss of adolescence my friend, she has not yet been mentioned so I will call her Eva because she is a huge WW2 fan and I'm just going to hope she doesn't find that offensive, was quite ecstatic to be turning 20. So we all moseyed on over to her place. Aurora and Gumpette were there. Eva's history major friends were all there. We watched her be initiated into Dutch Blitz (a fantastic card game which to my sadness we did not play). And played several rounds of Cards Against Humanity which is basically a better version of Apples to Apples.
So a little drunk I walked to the last bus that would take me downtown to the last bus that would get me home. It is very cold now in Victoria and I have yet to figure out how to properly dress for these weather temperatures but I will suffer through.
So there I was waiting Downtown for the next bus to come that would take me home and I'm sitting slightly drunk on a bench. I couldn't sing obnoxiously as I wanted to because there were these two guys standing close to my bench.
Across the street is this restaurant called The 5th Street Bar and Grill (which Aurora and I just went to tonight because it is delicious) but last year the restaurant had had a fire and was closed for many months which was really sad. It's almost midnight so last calls are going around I guess and these 2 guys come out of the restaurant to smoke...but I never saw them go back in...probably because I was drunk and thinking about more important things than how gross and stupid smoking is.
Next I look over and I see this flame near the side of the building...rather small at first and I'm watching it and it's getting bigger and I'm like OMG WHAT!
I look at the other 2 guys waiting for the bus and they're talking and don't notice this flame and I'm like...maybe I've been drugged? Maybe the flame isn't there...but it's getting bigger!
So I stand up to investigate.
I start towards the street watching this massive flame and I have no idea what it's coming out of but the guys also don't seem to take note that I've taken an interest in it...Another example of how little faith I have in humans? I think so.
So I start to cross the street to check this thing out and make sure the buildings not on fire...but then I see this body.
And I can't honestly tell you if it was a body or not but it definitely resembled a beige trench coat with a body in it and it was hanging just behind the flames.
I am stopped in the middle of the road staring at this body and this flame....and then I decide that curiosity killed the cat!
The flame was large but it didn't appear to be catching onto the building so I went back to my bench and waited for the bus...
The 2 guys continued to talk as if nothing had happened...they probably thought I was some homeless girl on drugs or something but I was not that drunk and I know I wasn't drugged....so my eyes must have been playing with my mind...and that is what I will continue to believe!
So there you go.
That's kind of what I've been up to. There's more of course that I've been doing other than tests and studying but I have to edit my stage play and my friends are posting depressing songs on tumblr that are apparently good for me? I have strange friends.
Peace out!
Alright so the other night was my friends 20th birthday. And unlike when I turned 20 and cried in bed over my loss of adolescence my friend, she has not yet been mentioned so I will call her Eva because she is a huge WW2 fan and I'm just going to hope she doesn't find that offensive, was quite ecstatic to be turning 20. So we all moseyed on over to her place. Aurora and Gumpette were there. Eva's history major friends were all there. We watched her be initiated into Dutch Blitz (a fantastic card game which to my sadness we did not play). And played several rounds of Cards Against Humanity which is basically a better version of Apples to Apples.
So a little drunk I walked to the last bus that would take me downtown to the last bus that would get me home. It is very cold now in Victoria and I have yet to figure out how to properly dress for these weather temperatures but I will suffer through.
So there I was waiting Downtown for the next bus to come that would take me home and I'm sitting slightly drunk on a bench. I couldn't sing obnoxiously as I wanted to because there were these two guys standing close to my bench.
Across the street is this restaurant called The 5th Street Bar and Grill (which Aurora and I just went to tonight because it is delicious) but last year the restaurant had had a fire and was closed for many months which was really sad. It's almost midnight so last calls are going around I guess and these 2 guys come out of the restaurant to smoke...but I never saw them go back in...probably because I was drunk and thinking about more important things than how gross and stupid smoking is.
Next I look over and I see this flame near the side of the building...rather small at first and I'm watching it and it's getting bigger and I'm like OMG WHAT!
I look at the other 2 guys waiting for the bus and they're talking and don't notice this flame and I'm like...maybe I've been drugged? Maybe the flame isn't there...but it's getting bigger!
So I stand up to investigate.
I start towards the street watching this massive flame and I have no idea what it's coming out of but the guys also don't seem to take note that I've taken an interest in it...Another example of how little faith I have in humans? I think so.
So I start to cross the street to check this thing out and make sure the buildings not on fire...but then I see this body.
And I can't honestly tell you if it was a body or not but it definitely resembled a beige trench coat with a body in it and it was hanging just behind the flames.
I am stopped in the middle of the road staring at this body and this flame....and then I decide that curiosity killed the cat!
The flame was large but it didn't appear to be catching onto the building so I went back to my bench and waited for the bus...
The 2 guys continued to talk as if nothing had happened...they probably thought I was some homeless girl on drugs or something but I was not that drunk and I know I wasn't drugged....so my eyes must have been playing with my mind...and that is what I will continue to believe!
So there you go.
That's kind of what I've been up to. There's more of course that I've been doing other than tests and studying but I have to edit my stage play and my friends are posting depressing songs on tumblr that are apparently good for me? I have strange friends.
Peace out!
Saturday 1 December 2012
EXAM WEEK: An Excuse to be Ugly!
We are so close my friends who are also in school.
Exam week is almost upon us. For UVic Monday is the last day of classes and then we can alllllll cry!
I have a paper and an in class test on Monday. Luckily the paper's not due til Midnight but I've been trying to write it forever!!
Last month I told myself I would have it done for the 20th which would give me like 2 weeks to fix it....the 20th came and I lay down. I said to myself THE 25TH! The 25th came and it was not done so I lay down some more.
Now it is December 1st!
What should happen on December 1st? I should have an advent calendar in my hand for one! I do not!! Misery has overcome me for my lack of cheap, wax chocolate.
Happily though it was the Phoenix Coffee House last night which is basically a giant talent show for all the theater students....because we like to show off just that much more! (What can I say, we're attention seekers)
I did not perform. I did 2 things last year and it's just so much nicer to sit in the audience, drink and watch everyone else. No need to worry about going and falling down because you're drunk...yes we drink shhh.
The 4th years do a board sketch which is a voice over as they walk up to the announcement board...many poop jokes....very strange.
I think the bests part of the night was when this girl gave me a kinder surprise! and it wasn't one of those lame ones that I got all summer! It was awesome! I made a bird! Maybe I will take a picture and show it to you sometime. It can't stand because I dropped the feet under the bleachers and then didn't go back for them.
I was in so much pain yesterday because I accidentally exercised. Yes you can exercise by accident.
My french class ended an hour early so I figured I could do splits, hide in the change room during dancer physique and then do pole dancing but somewhere in there my timing was off.
I got all ready to do splits and the teacher just decided we weren't going to do splits. Just the dancer physique class! She turns on this off mashup remix 2 hour playlist of pop music! It drives me batty but I just know that I'm in dancer physique and it's too late! I can't run away! I'm all set up! She knows I'm there! If I ran for my life she would find me! So I stayed!
An hour and a half of intense toning exercises. The class makes me want to vomit because it mostly focuses on legs and core and I don't have core. My core is my stomach and my stomach doesn't want abs.
So I cried.
And then I did pole and I cried some more! Pole is supposed to be fun! Not excruciating pain!
Naturally when I woke up the next morning movement was not an option. But I had no choice! I had to go school second years on how to talk to rude people which I know nothing about! I am all about the retaliation! But I suppose the basics are good to know even if you are unable to put them into effect.
But of course after all that I am HIDEOUSLY UGLY!
I washed my hair because it was gross but my arms hurt to much to hold above my head to straighten my hair again and I didn't have time yesterday and now I'm supposed to be writing this essay!
I am going to be ugly for the next week! At least! Maybe longer depending on how gross I get running around on front of house during the Ride the Cyclone run while working at the library.
Cry time, time for cries.
I just want to lie down some more but i really have to get this essay looking coherent by Monday...seems impossible.
Also I have to study for this opera test but the kid who wants to study is not responding to my texts. That is unacceptable I'm not going to study for it by myself. That's just foolish.
Siiiiiigh.
Welcome to December.
Welcome to the end of the world. (20 days for all you crazy people who are super worried about dying virgins)
No we're not going to talk about my opinion of stupid people who try to fine their raison d'etre in relationships now. I have enough of that in Miss Saigon.
Though I just want to say that VOS is doing Miss Saigon in the spring. And I know I'm not the skinniest asian you're going to find since I'm not skinny and I'm not asian but I can work a pole! There are strippers in Miss Saigon! Lord! PLEASE! Let me be a call girl!
That's all I ask!
Anyways,
Back to essays.
Exam week is almost upon us. For UVic Monday is the last day of classes and then we can alllllll cry!
I have a paper and an in class test on Monday. Luckily the paper's not due til Midnight but I've been trying to write it forever!!
Last month I told myself I would have it done for the 20th which would give me like 2 weeks to fix it....the 20th came and I lay down. I said to myself THE 25TH! The 25th came and it was not done so I lay down some more.
Now it is December 1st!
What should happen on December 1st? I should have an advent calendar in my hand for one! I do not!! Misery has overcome me for my lack of cheap, wax chocolate.
Happily though it was the Phoenix Coffee House last night which is basically a giant talent show for all the theater students....because we like to show off just that much more! (What can I say, we're attention seekers)
I did not perform. I did 2 things last year and it's just so much nicer to sit in the audience, drink and watch everyone else. No need to worry about going and falling down because you're drunk...yes we drink shhh.
The 4th years do a board sketch which is a voice over as they walk up to the announcement board...many poop jokes....very strange.
I think the bests part of the night was when this girl gave me a kinder surprise! and it wasn't one of those lame ones that I got all summer! It was awesome! I made a bird! Maybe I will take a picture and show it to you sometime. It can't stand because I dropped the feet under the bleachers and then didn't go back for them.
I was in so much pain yesterday because I accidentally exercised. Yes you can exercise by accident.
My french class ended an hour early so I figured I could do splits, hide in the change room during dancer physique and then do pole dancing but somewhere in there my timing was off.
I got all ready to do splits and the teacher just decided we weren't going to do splits. Just the dancer physique class! She turns on this off mashup remix 2 hour playlist of pop music! It drives me batty but I just know that I'm in dancer physique and it's too late! I can't run away! I'm all set up! She knows I'm there! If I ran for my life she would find me! So I stayed!
An hour and a half of intense toning exercises. The class makes me want to vomit because it mostly focuses on legs and core and I don't have core. My core is my stomach and my stomach doesn't want abs.
So I cried.
And then I did pole and I cried some more! Pole is supposed to be fun! Not excruciating pain!
Naturally when I woke up the next morning movement was not an option. But I had no choice! I had to go school second years on how to talk to rude people which I know nothing about! I am all about the retaliation! But I suppose the basics are good to know even if you are unable to put them into effect.
But of course after all that I am HIDEOUSLY UGLY!
I washed my hair because it was gross but my arms hurt to much to hold above my head to straighten my hair again and I didn't have time yesterday and now I'm supposed to be writing this essay!
I am going to be ugly for the next week! At least! Maybe longer depending on how gross I get running around on front of house during the Ride the Cyclone run while working at the library.
Cry time, time for cries.
I just want to lie down some more but i really have to get this essay looking coherent by Monday...seems impossible.
Also I have to study for this opera test but the kid who wants to study is not responding to my texts. That is unacceptable I'm not going to study for it by myself. That's just foolish.
Siiiiiigh.
Welcome to December.
Welcome to the end of the world. (20 days for all you crazy people who are super worried about dying virgins)
No we're not going to talk about my opinion of stupid people who try to fine their raison d'etre in relationships now. I have enough of that in Miss Saigon.
Though I just want to say that VOS is doing Miss Saigon in the spring. And I know I'm not the skinniest asian you're going to find since I'm not skinny and I'm not asian but I can work a pole! There are strippers in Miss Saigon! Lord! PLEASE! Let me be a call girl!
That's all I ask!
Anyways,
Back to essays.
Sunday 25 November 2012
I'll Take Rage Quit for -10,000$
What up world?
You don't have to answer that. I've pretty much reached the end of my limited ability to care about people.
Yeah that last passive aggressive post failed, naturally the side of "you don't believe in relationships so you don't understand" was taken. It's such a pathetically ignorant side but I have no control of others.
And that's really the point of this blog post. I don't know how many times my father has told me that I get to emotionally invested in other people's lives, I care too much, I try to hard to make them understand and make everyone happy and it makes me miserable!
I am miserable! Is that fair? No.
So I'm not going to care about those people anymore. (at least until the rest of term) Because there is nothing I can do if they don't listen, they will continue to be bad people anyways, they will continue to be bad friends to me and I don't deserve that. I deserve people that are going to tell me the truth, whom I can have confidence in telling my secrets. I can count 3, sometimes 4 people whom I fully trust because I know they're not going to tell everyone in the Phoenix something or I know that they have the same opinion on humans as I do.
Humans are freaking stupid! Everyone is so desperate to be liked! WHY!? To rack up your facebook friends? Get over yourself. You should count yourself blessed to have 1 good friend over 10 friends who have known you less than a year who aren't even that nice about you when your back is turned.
And it's these friends that I have that drive me to insanity like this. Every year! Well I'm over it.
If you're going to ask me why I'm upset and you already know but you don't want to hear it again then DON'T ASK! I'm not demanding that you do. Of course if you're those poor people in grocery stores who ask because it's polite I answer truthfully just to make you feel uncomfortable. You're expecting 'good' or 'fine' not an epic retelling of how dreadful I'm feeling and am back to buy more drugs in hopes that my body will sort itself out.
I'm very busy people. If I don't interest you don't bother with me. I have an essay that's going no where because I know nothing on musicals. I have a play that makes no sense and my writing TA will tell me it sucks in a week, I know this. I wouldn't go see it.
I can't even figure out any of my scheduling for December!
Maybe I just won't come back next term. My father did it. He's strongly convinced I will too. Think of all the money I don't have that I could save! Yes dropping out of school after I fail this history course sounds like a grand idea.
And on top of that, I'm still sick! My left nostril has decided to become permanently blocked and it's messing with my other sinuses! I have this constant pressure against my left eye. I feel like one of those ugly goldfish with a giant tumor eye and suddenly one day I'll just die because my eye explodes...I can't wait. I hope it happens before my final exams so I don't have to go through them.
And if I do by chance die and you're reading this I won't be having a funeral, tell my mother to take my remains to mexico.
How am I still alive you ask?
Easy! EGG NOG!
Basically yeah, I have egg nog ice cream it is freaking delicious.
I have egg nog for drinking so I drink it and then I put it in my coffee and I drink it some more. Egg nog lattes for breakfast. Basically the only way to get me out of bed for writing in the morning....which reminds me I need to find my iclicker.
And I need to go to bed...and stop listening to Taylor Swift (That'll be my next post). And stop listening to Miss Saigon.
I think the high light of today was watching the King and I! SO GOOD!
If I were going to marry a man I would marry The King of Siam, maybe Yul Brynner but I'd probably die from second hand smoke cancer since apparently he never stopped smoking.
I know I know, "but Cecilly, you wouldn't have any rights, you'd be a slave, you'd probably never even see him!" MEH! I would be so spoiled, providing I was a wife in favor, I'd get nice clothes, and food and sure I'd have a couple dozen kids. Don't even care as long as I got to do whatever I want all the other times. "But Cecilly, don't you want him to be yours and yours only?" Lols no, too much work.
There are so many good lines in the play like this one which I find relevant to this topic.
This is a man who knows what he's talking about!
And now I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll be lucky and the world will end early.
You don't have to answer that. I've pretty much reached the end of my limited ability to care about people.
Yeah that last passive aggressive post failed, naturally the side of "you don't believe in relationships so you don't understand" was taken. It's such a pathetically ignorant side but I have no control of others.
And that's really the point of this blog post. I don't know how many times my father has told me that I get to emotionally invested in other people's lives, I care too much, I try to hard to make them understand and make everyone happy and it makes me miserable!
I am miserable! Is that fair? No.
So I'm not going to care about those people anymore. (at least until the rest of term) Because there is nothing I can do if they don't listen, they will continue to be bad people anyways, they will continue to be bad friends to me and I don't deserve that. I deserve people that are going to tell me the truth, whom I can have confidence in telling my secrets. I can count 3, sometimes 4 people whom I fully trust because I know they're not going to tell everyone in the Phoenix something or I know that they have the same opinion on humans as I do.
Humans are freaking stupid! Everyone is so desperate to be liked! WHY!? To rack up your facebook friends? Get over yourself. You should count yourself blessed to have 1 good friend over 10 friends who have known you less than a year who aren't even that nice about you when your back is turned.
And it's these friends that I have that drive me to insanity like this. Every year! Well I'm over it.
If you're going to ask me why I'm upset and you already know but you don't want to hear it again then DON'T ASK! I'm not demanding that you do. Of course if you're those poor people in grocery stores who ask because it's polite I answer truthfully just to make you feel uncomfortable. You're expecting 'good' or 'fine' not an epic retelling of how dreadful I'm feeling and am back to buy more drugs in hopes that my body will sort itself out.
I'm very busy people. If I don't interest you don't bother with me. I have an essay that's going no where because I know nothing on musicals. I have a play that makes no sense and my writing TA will tell me it sucks in a week, I know this. I wouldn't go see it.
I can't even figure out any of my scheduling for December!
Maybe I just won't come back next term. My father did it. He's strongly convinced I will too. Think of all the money I don't have that I could save! Yes dropping out of school after I fail this history course sounds like a grand idea.
And on top of that, I'm still sick! My left nostril has decided to become permanently blocked and it's messing with my other sinuses! I have this constant pressure against my left eye. I feel like one of those ugly goldfish with a giant tumor eye and suddenly one day I'll just die because my eye explodes...I can't wait. I hope it happens before my final exams so I don't have to go through them.
And if I do by chance die and you're reading this I won't be having a funeral, tell my mother to take my remains to mexico.
How am I still alive you ask?
Easy! EGG NOG!
Basically yeah, I have egg nog ice cream it is freaking delicious.
I have egg nog for drinking so I drink it and then I put it in my coffee and I drink it some more. Egg nog lattes for breakfast. Basically the only way to get me out of bed for writing in the morning....which reminds me I need to find my iclicker.
And I need to go to bed...and stop listening to Taylor Swift (That'll be my next post). And stop listening to Miss Saigon.
I think the high light of today was watching the King and I! SO GOOD!
If I were going to marry a man I would marry The King of Siam, maybe Yul Brynner but I'd probably die from second hand smoke cancer since apparently he never stopped smoking.
I know I know, "but Cecilly, you wouldn't have any rights, you'd be a slave, you'd probably never even see him!" MEH! I would be so spoiled, providing I was a wife in favor, I'd get nice clothes, and food and sure I'd have a couple dozen kids. Don't even care as long as I got to do whatever I want all the other times. "But Cecilly, don't you want him to be yours and yours only?" Lols no, too much work.
There are so many good lines in the play like this one which I find relevant to this topic.
Anna-“How do you explain the fact that many men remain faithful to one wife”
King- “They are sick”
This is a man who knows what he's talking about!
And now I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll be lucky and the world will end early.
mmmm Just Perfect!
Wednesday 21 November 2012
Mama's Guide to Wooing
Hey hey,
So you may have been looking at my blog thinking "where did this girl go? She musta died or something"
Nope not dead, Bambi just told me once upon a time that if you haven't got anything nice to say you better not say anything...so I didn't.
And I was all for writing a post about how I'm moving up in the pole world and I can do a full combo or I'm sick and sniffly and I don't know how to handle it or about how silly Alfred is that he biked up to Tofino for reading break and ripped his back open on a cliff OR HELL how I made a grill cheese last night but burnt one side! All these would have been perfectly, non-offensive but noooo.
Aurora sent me a message this morning and I feel like somethings in the land of dating should be straightened out. I know you're all sitting there thinking "But Cecilly, you don't believe in dating!" You would be right, I don't. I think it's stupid and a waste of time but that doesn't mean I haven't dated and maybe I'm a prude but I've still got a few opinions on how it should go. Take it or leave it but I'mma judge you if you don't.
Step 1: Falling in Love
All that none sense about love at first sight is just that, none sense. I have never met anyone that has fallen instantly unless they are forcing themselves to do so. (How do you force yourself to fall in love?) Easy, you are sooooo sad and desperate that every room you walk into with a man you start evaluating whether or not you could be together, will your children be ugly, does he look like he'll buy you things? Ridiculous factors that you've been led to believe is the key to happiness. Hell looks don't even come into the equation most times though if your like me 'would I want to see his face 24/7?' is usually a quick way to eliminate people from the pool.
Anyways so you're planning on falling in love. First look at your group of friends. Do any of them appeal to you? If yes, are there any major things about them that you can't stand? Yes? Probably shouldn't date them you'll just end up fighting about it later. If No well then give it ago they might not be interested. If No to the first, mosey on over to a dating website, look at your co-workers, people in your classes or be one of those people who some how find their love at a party (I'm usually having too much fun to care)
Step 2: Getting To Know You
If you actually intend on being in a relationship you might want to get to know him first. Unless you were the person who answered yes to the group of friends then you probably already know each other. Hanging out and going on a date are very different. On dates you're trying to impress each other. If you can hang out with any significant awkwardness or problems then you may very well be able to spend time with each other for the rest of your lives. Which also means hanging out involves TALKING! Relationships involve communication and it should go past "How are you?" "Fine, you?" "Good!" *SNOG* no that's not how it goes you hormonal prepubescents! I expect to be able to hold at least a 30 minute conversation about something more meaningful than the awful Victoria weather without physical contact for this to even be feasible. Which brings me to possibly the most important step!
Step 3: Test Him Out in a Group
Now I don't just mean any group. Like you can't go to the aquarium and see how he handles small children running around. I mean a group where he will be forced to interact, a group like your friends. Hell it SHOULD be your friends! Everyone acts differently in a group as opposed to one on one, some desire to belong I think.
But I do not understand people who don't take friend advice into account. They are called friends for a reason, you should be able to trust them unless your life is like Gossip Girl or Popular. And if your friends don't like him there's probably a reason. And if you don't like that reason you had better have strong justification to sway their opinion of him or else he's going to have to start working super hard to impress them.
Maybe you disagree, "the opinions of my friends shouldn't stop me from loving who I love!" ...Fine...think that way if you want but I'll tell you what's going to happen. You'll become the friend that nobody likes. They won't want to see you because seeing you means seeing him and they don't like him. Or they'll be super standoffish and rude when he's around. And then you'll get upset and cry "I don't understand why none of my friends like him." Well girl they already told you but you chose not to listen. And then you'll spend all your time with him and slowly lose contact with all your friends and then one day he'll be like "I don't know if this is working" so you'll poke holes in his condoms so you get pregnant and then he'll have to stay and marry you (If he's a good man) or he could leave you and your child to suffer and maybe pay child support now and then.
Your Choice.
Step 4: Start Dating:
Now see I've basically addressed this whole post to girls so far, it can go either way take it how you want.
So you've decided this guy isn't totally weird, he's kind of interesting, he's not public enemy number one among your friends. Date him!
Now unless your whole plan in the first place was to strip him down and have your way with him you're actually going to go on some dates. (and if your plan was just to sleep with him you are a crazy closet slut and I'm telling you now you don't need a boyfriend to find someone who will have sex with you. There are tons of desperate people just like you milling around in lust.)
Going on dates include: Having dinner, going to a movie, watching live music, bowling, going for a walk, having coffee, basically any ridiculous classy thing you've seen in a cheesy chick flick. It usually involves spending money but hey you can learn a lot about your significant other by how they spend money.
Of course your date could be cooler and come up with something more original like a picnic, amusement parks, a treasure hunt, one of those scooter tours, whale watching. I don't know what people do when they want original dates. A guy took me hiking once, I was not impressed, I was not aware we were going hiking, I got sweaty and blisters...we don't talk anymore.
And you know once you get the huge spectacle of dating out of the way you can settle into normal coupley things like movie and popcorn at home, video games (if you're into that), nice at home dinner or order in.
Any sort of date like activity that ends with the audience going awww so cute.
And then you go home.
Cue Mama Prude.
Step 5: Pulling on the Naughty Boots
Some may call me a prude for my standards of when to have sex in the relationship but like I said Miss Closety Slut, you don't need a boyfriend to get a man in your bed. The fact that you would go through all that work just to have sex on a first date reinforces me thinking your crazy. ANYHOOOO!
Personally if being in a relationship is important to you and you've been putting time and money into this I think you can wait a month. It's really not that long a time especially if you have other stuff to do like work/homework/dishes. I really don't think you should even see each other everyday, just leads to dependency. And yes in that month I also mean you can't have sleep overs where you just sleep together but don't have sex. That's not fair to anyone, that's just teasing them only there's no goodness and you get to see how ugly they are in the morning.
Of course I know some of you would disagree "But I've been working on getting him for so long, now he's mine and I wanna jump him." (I think you all should know that I type these whiners in a high pitched annoying voice) Well then fine, have a reward wait 1-2 weeks if you're really that desperate to play with your new pogo. And if you're still going to argue with me you're ridiculous, there are people who date much longer than you and don't have sex until marriage. So I'll just be turning a deaf ear to your pitiful complaints.
Step 6: Live as Happily as You Can While Being Considerate
So you're in love. Congrats. I hope you've chosen wisely. But you know, just because you're floating around with pink glasses on in orgasmic bliss does not mean you can stop following the Human Decency Guidelines...ok so maybe they're not an actual set of guide lines but here are my basics for relationships.
So you may have been looking at my blog thinking "where did this girl go? She musta died or something"
Nope not dead, Bambi just told me once upon a time that if you haven't got anything nice to say you better not say anything...so I didn't.
And I was all for writing a post about how I'm moving up in the pole world and I can do a full combo or I'm sick and sniffly and I don't know how to handle it or about how silly Alfred is that he biked up to Tofino for reading break and ripped his back open on a cliff OR HELL how I made a grill cheese last night but burnt one side! All these would have been perfectly, non-offensive but noooo.
Aurora sent me a message this morning and I feel like somethings in the land of dating should be straightened out. I know you're all sitting there thinking "But Cecilly, you don't believe in dating!" You would be right, I don't. I think it's stupid and a waste of time but that doesn't mean I haven't dated and maybe I'm a prude but I've still got a few opinions on how it should go. Take it or leave it but I'mma judge you if you don't.
Step 1: Falling in Love
All that none sense about love at first sight is just that, none sense. I have never met anyone that has fallen instantly unless they are forcing themselves to do so. (How do you force yourself to fall in love?) Easy, you are sooooo sad and desperate that every room you walk into with a man you start evaluating whether or not you could be together, will your children be ugly, does he look like he'll buy you things? Ridiculous factors that you've been led to believe is the key to happiness. Hell looks don't even come into the equation most times though if your like me 'would I want to see his face 24/7?' is usually a quick way to eliminate people from the pool.
Anyways so you're planning on falling in love. First look at your group of friends. Do any of them appeal to you? If yes, are there any major things about them that you can't stand? Yes? Probably shouldn't date them you'll just end up fighting about it later. If No well then give it ago they might not be interested. If No to the first, mosey on over to a dating website, look at your co-workers, people in your classes or be one of those people who some how find their love at a party (I'm usually having too much fun to care)
Step 2: Getting To Know You
If you actually intend on being in a relationship you might want to get to know him first. Unless you were the person who answered yes to the group of friends then you probably already know each other. Hanging out and going on a date are very different. On dates you're trying to impress each other. If you can hang out with any significant awkwardness or problems then you may very well be able to spend time with each other for the rest of your lives. Which also means hanging out involves TALKING! Relationships involve communication and it should go past "How are you?" "Fine, you?" "Good!" *SNOG* no that's not how it goes you hormonal prepubescents! I expect to be able to hold at least a 30 minute conversation about something more meaningful than the awful Victoria weather without physical contact for this to even be feasible. Which brings me to possibly the most important step!
Step 3: Test Him Out in a Group
Now I don't just mean any group. Like you can't go to the aquarium and see how he handles small children running around. I mean a group where he will be forced to interact, a group like your friends. Hell it SHOULD be your friends! Everyone acts differently in a group as opposed to one on one, some desire to belong I think.
But I do not understand people who don't take friend advice into account. They are called friends for a reason, you should be able to trust them unless your life is like Gossip Girl or Popular. And if your friends don't like him there's probably a reason. And if you don't like that reason you had better have strong justification to sway their opinion of him or else he's going to have to start working super hard to impress them.
Maybe you disagree, "the opinions of my friends shouldn't stop me from loving who I love!" ...Fine...think that way if you want but I'll tell you what's going to happen. You'll become the friend that nobody likes. They won't want to see you because seeing you means seeing him and they don't like him. Or they'll be super standoffish and rude when he's around. And then you'll get upset and cry "I don't understand why none of my friends like him." Well girl they already told you but you chose not to listen. And then you'll spend all your time with him and slowly lose contact with all your friends and then one day he'll be like "I don't know if this is working" so you'll poke holes in his condoms so you get pregnant and then he'll have to stay and marry you (If he's a good man) or he could leave you and your child to suffer and maybe pay child support now and then.
Your Choice.
Step 4: Start Dating:
Now see I've basically addressed this whole post to girls so far, it can go either way take it how you want.
So you've decided this guy isn't totally weird, he's kind of interesting, he's not public enemy number one among your friends. Date him!
Now unless your whole plan in the first place was to strip him down and have your way with him you're actually going to go on some dates. (and if your plan was just to sleep with him you are a crazy closet slut and I'm telling you now you don't need a boyfriend to find someone who will have sex with you. There are tons of desperate people just like you milling around in lust.)
Going on dates include: Having dinner, going to a movie, watching live music, bowling, going for a walk, having coffee, basically any ridiculous classy thing you've seen in a cheesy chick flick. It usually involves spending money but hey you can learn a lot about your significant other by how they spend money.
Of course your date could be cooler and come up with something more original like a picnic, amusement parks, a treasure hunt, one of those scooter tours, whale watching. I don't know what people do when they want original dates. A guy took me hiking once, I was not impressed, I was not aware we were going hiking, I got sweaty and blisters...we don't talk anymore.
And you know once you get the huge spectacle of dating out of the way you can settle into normal coupley things like movie and popcorn at home, video games (if you're into that), nice at home dinner or order in.
Any sort of date like activity that ends with the audience going awww so cute.
And then you go home.
Cue Mama Prude.
Step 5: Pulling on the Naughty Boots
Some may call me a prude for my standards of when to have sex in the relationship but like I said Miss Closety Slut, you don't need a boyfriend to get a man in your bed. The fact that you would go through all that work just to have sex on a first date reinforces me thinking your crazy. ANYHOOOO!
Personally if being in a relationship is important to you and you've been putting time and money into this I think you can wait a month. It's really not that long a time especially if you have other stuff to do like work/homework/dishes. I really don't think you should even see each other everyday, just leads to dependency. And yes in that month I also mean you can't have sleep overs where you just sleep together but don't have sex. That's not fair to anyone, that's just teasing them only there's no goodness and you get to see how ugly they are in the morning.
Of course I know some of you would disagree "But I've been working on getting him for so long, now he's mine and I wanna jump him." (I think you all should know that I type these whiners in a high pitched annoying voice) Well then fine, have a reward wait 1-2 weeks if you're really that desperate to play with your new pogo. And if you're still going to argue with me you're ridiculous, there are people who date much longer than you and don't have sex until marriage. So I'll just be turning a deaf ear to your pitiful complaints.
Step 6: Live as Happily as You Can While Being Considerate
So you're in love. Congrats. I hope you've chosen wisely. But you know, just because you're floating around with pink glasses on in orgasmic bliss does not mean you can stop following the Human Decency Guidelines...ok so maybe they're not an actual set of guide lines but here are my basics for relationships.
- Keep your Public Displays of Attention in check! I don't want to be having a conversation and get interrupted by wandering hands. Keep your hysterical horny sounds at a low volume so they won't distract me when I'm studying or trying to eat. And I have no interest in watching porn in public (or ever really but that's just because I think it's a very strange and sad career)
- Accommodate the feelings of others. Do you have a roommate? Have you asked them if it's ok for your boytoy to come over? What if they wanted to watch T.V in the living room or have a lot of homework? At least take it to your room if you're just going to drop in an announced but hell you should be giving them a chance to run if he's coming over. How about a warning that they might not want to walk around in their underwear because your man is staying the night! Common courtesy don't forget it.
- Broadcast your relationship on social media. If you're not utterly disgusting and gushy about it people won't really care but what is the point in being in a relationship if it's secret!? People are going to find out anyways if you're not being discrete. People are going to judge you for not telling them, wouldn't you rather be on top of the gossip? (Normal people say yes to that question. If you said no it probably doesn't bode well)
So there you go!
Mama's Guide To Wooing by moi! (Can't not make a blog about falling in love without Fergie!)
You should listen to my sound words but if you don't it's not really my problem because I do think relationships are a time waster for lonely people.
Peace out ready people,we'll see if I can bring myself to be nicer next time. <3
Monday 12 November 2012
Confessions of a Fan Fiction Addict
Hi my name is Cecilly and I am addicted to fanfiction.
It all started a little over a year ago when my friend introduced me to Severus/Hermione fanfiction from Harry Potter. I quickly became obsessed....mostly because I love Snape and Alan Rickman so much. I vowed to myself that it would never go beyond that....but it has. I am ashamed to admit that I have begun to read and support the Snarry ship! (Snape/Harry)
I know! It's so wrong of me! Snape loved his mother, he has his mother's eyes! (not that I support Lily in anyway, I think she was a terrible human being and an even worse friend...but I'm not going to get into an argument with the Jily, Snily shippers of the world)
At first I didn't understand, how could they be together with this prior connection and I couldn't get behind the smut. (I'm not homophobic I just can't fit my mind into the equations of gay sex) but then I found the Marriage Stone! And for those of you who know it are sitting at their computers raising their eyes and crying out for the whereabouts of Josephine Darcy who disappeared years ago in the middle of the most perfect, epic Snarry fic ever written! And we know she had every intention of continuing. She says in the last chapter (chapter 77) that she'll update very soon that she is free from whatever relative visiting function she had been pulled away by....and then nothing....OH THE PAIN AND CRUELTY!!!
Clearly I should have started my expectations much lower because nothing meets its standards....I don't even really read Snarry because there's just nothing very good out there. I want romance and wooing! Which is why I stick to Snamoine but fanfiction has ruined my life.
I see it everywhere! I SHIP REGULAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I DREAM OF BUILDING A FLEET OF COUPLES AND SETTING THEM A SAIL ON THE HIGH HOLY WATERS! This summer I finally cried at Boromir's death in Lord of the Rings because I learnt to ship everyone in the fellowship!
I AM RUINED!! So ruined!!
And even though I think real life sucks and people suck and relationships are a waste of time...I'm contemplating going on a date?
What is wrong with me?
Am I doing it just because people don't think I could? NEWS FLASH! I'm a freaking awesome girlfriend. I can do everything!
We're gonna do all the things all the couples like to do.
We're gonna go to a movie, we're gonna have some dinner, take a walk, look at the moonlight, Anything you want (but baby I got a question...)
No I don't that's just Danko Jones creeping into my head. Remember that song? CLASSIC!
Anyways! For what good reason would I have to have a boyfriend! I already have Alfred! ...He'd probably be super mad at me for writing about this and not telling him... besides he's riding with his friends to Tofino, crazy person....sometimes I need better friends? Yeah the ones I have are pretty good for specific occasions but they're not very good with feed back...
Maybe I just need to sing about it...or crawl up in a ball and cry about it...or watch Pride and Prejudice again....or insult people! That usually makes me feel better.
I was just thinking today about how we need a really good plague to come along and wipe out some of the stupid people! I have a pretty sweet immune system so I think I could hold out until they've found a cure...or it just goes away...but I'm worried that 21st century plagues are just rage viruses and I am NOT dealing with freaking zombies! Yup watch Joss Whedon being awesome and clarifying why I was so afraid of Romney winning president.
It all started a little over a year ago when my friend introduced me to Severus/Hermione fanfiction from Harry Potter. I quickly became obsessed....mostly because I love Snape and Alan Rickman so much. I vowed to myself that it would never go beyond that....but it has. I am ashamed to admit that I have begun to read and support the Snarry ship! (Snape/Harry)
I know! It's so wrong of me! Snape loved his mother, he has his mother's eyes! (not that I support Lily in anyway, I think she was a terrible human being and an even worse friend...but I'm not going to get into an argument with the Jily, Snily shippers of the world)
At first I didn't understand, how could they be together with this prior connection and I couldn't get behind the smut. (I'm not homophobic I just can't fit my mind into the equations of gay sex) but then I found the Marriage Stone! And for those of you who know it are sitting at their computers raising their eyes and crying out for the whereabouts of Josephine Darcy who disappeared years ago in the middle of the most perfect, epic Snarry fic ever written! And we know she had every intention of continuing. She says in the last chapter (chapter 77) that she'll update very soon that she is free from whatever relative visiting function she had been pulled away by....and then nothing....OH THE PAIN AND CRUELTY!!!
Clearly I should have started my expectations much lower because nothing meets its standards....I don't even really read Snarry because there's just nothing very good out there. I want romance and wooing! Which is why I stick to Snamoine but fanfiction has ruined my life.
I see it everywhere! I SHIP REGULAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I DREAM OF BUILDING A FLEET OF COUPLES AND SETTING THEM A SAIL ON THE HIGH HOLY WATERS! This summer I finally cried at Boromir's death in Lord of the Rings because I learnt to ship everyone in the fellowship!
I AM RUINED!! So ruined!!
And even though I think real life sucks and people suck and relationships are a waste of time...I'm contemplating going on a date?
What is wrong with me?
Am I doing it just because people don't think I could? NEWS FLASH! I'm a freaking awesome girlfriend. I can do everything!
We're gonna do all the things all the couples like to do.
We're gonna go to a movie, we're gonna have some dinner, take a walk, look at the moonlight, Anything you want (but baby I got a question...)
No I don't that's just Danko Jones creeping into my head. Remember that song? CLASSIC!
Anyways! For what good reason would I have to have a boyfriend! I already have Alfred! ...He'd probably be super mad at me for writing about this and not telling him... besides he's riding with his friends to Tofino, crazy person....sometimes I need better friends? Yeah the ones I have are pretty good for specific occasions but they're not very good with feed back...
Maybe I just need to sing about it...or crawl up in a ball and cry about it...or watch Pride and Prejudice again....or insult people! That usually makes me feel better.
I was just thinking today about how we need a really good plague to come along and wipe out some of the stupid people! I have a pretty sweet immune system so I think I could hold out until they've found a cure...or it just goes away...but I'm worried that 21st century plagues are just rage viruses and I am NOT dealing with freaking zombies! Yup watch Joss Whedon being awesome and clarifying why I was so afraid of Romney winning president.
Whatever the Obama's are awesome.
I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. So a summary of what has been discussed here today:
- Yes I think I should have the right to evaluate each human's intelligence and determine if they should have the privilege of living in a 1st, 2nd or 3rd world country with the stupidest humans earning a special category of "On the Moon far away from me and the rest of society so they can't infect us with their stupidity"
- Yes I'm glad that Obama won and that Michelle can continue to be a good role model to ladies, but especially the black ones, so that they no longer have to look to Oprah and her soul OWNing tv shows for guidance.
- Yes I think relationships are a stupid waste of time but
- No I have not decided whether or not I should go on a date from this post...computer screens don't give very good feed back...maybe a combo of ask.com and tumblr will help me sort through this dilemma.
- Yes fan fiction is a thing if you didn't know that already, most of your friends are probably closet readers, some may even read 50 Shades of Grey which is Twilight fanfiction that renamed the characters and became mommy porn. Though I only limit myself to Harry Potter pairings someone one day might write something almost as deserving as my HP love and I will concede to ship them as well.
- No I am not at all adverse to becoming a old lady with nothing but my fanfiction to keep me alive. At least it's not cats, I will save money on cat food and won't die of a hair ball that slowly develops in my esophagus over years because my cats shed so much. (SO THERE YOU CRAZY OLD CAT LADIES GET A REAL OBSESSION!)
Alright 6 is too many numbers. I'm stopping. I'm going to bed. I think this is all part of the regular mid-November reading break crisis that overwhelms me every year...not aided by the fact that I have to see the fine arts counselor tomorrow who will most likely tell me I'm no where near graduation and I suck at life...
JOYS!
So I'll just spiral back down into the pit of despair and fan fiction which is an excellent absorber of pathetic spirits and self doubts.
Oh well!
Good night world
Saturday 10 November 2012
Where Have All The Good Humans Gone?
Um, hi world.
So I'm having a little bit of doubt in the goodness of humanity currently and yes I'm going to tell you why right now.
So there I was at work. I was on the closing shift as per usual on my Saturday's and I had just started the closing part. Now my trainer guy told me that once I got a hang of closing I could listen to music. Well this is like my 4th shift on closing and I decided it was time! I needed some serious goodness to get me through the next hour! AWAY I WENT! First up on my playlist? Requiem for a Dream Why? Because it is an excellent combination of bad ass and epic and I need super goodness when I'm running up stairs.
So I'm running up the stairs like a woman on a mission when I hear banging just before the 3rd floor landing. I stop...!(COLLABORATE) and listen...silence....I look around it appears to be just me that has heard the banging. I think maybe it's part of the music I've never recognized before....start to climb the stairs again. MORE BANGING! I look around.
There's maybe 3 people on the floor below me I can see and none of them have noticed this banging. They're quite contently reading their books (and no they didn't have head phones in)...
And then I hear screaming and banging! So I run up the rest of the stairs trying to figure this out. No one is on the 3rd floor, the pronunciation center is closed, it's not coming from the bathroom...
More screaming it sounds like they're yelling Nissan? It's coming from the pronunciation center which is closed as of 3pm.
Some how this little asian girl pushed her way through the door, she said she thought it was the bathroom....The bathroom was like 5 feet away with a sign on the door!
Now honestly, and maybe this is racist, but if you're going to scream for help scream for help child! I don't know what nissan means I need a help me or rape or something.
Kid's just lucky I was walking by!
SINCE NONE OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE LIBRARY COULD BE BOTHERED TO HELP HER!
And this is where my doubt in humanity comes from.
Partly from her for being too stupid to read washrooms signs and forcing her way into a clearly closed area that honestly just looks like a wall. I don't know how she didn't realize it wasn't a bathroom.
Secondly! From the people around that paid no attention to her yelling and banging. And I mean this child must have been throwing all her might into that door because it was loud!
I still can't believe that no one came to help her! I don't know how long she was there before I came along!
Does this mean I'm going to stop listening to music on my Saturday night closing shift? No.
Am I worried that she may have planted a bomb or ruined something in the pronunciation center....maybe....but there's nothing I can do! If the library blows up tomorrow....I'll have no job and be very sad.
Though I'm sad anyways because I finished the rest of my spinach bread bowl...sad times indeed.
Oh well.
Go out and do something good, please. I want to believe that the people in this world don't suck.
Goodnight.
So I'm having a little bit of doubt in the goodness of humanity currently and yes I'm going to tell you why right now.
So there I was at work. I was on the closing shift as per usual on my Saturday's and I had just started the closing part. Now my trainer guy told me that once I got a hang of closing I could listen to music. Well this is like my 4th shift on closing and I decided it was time! I needed some serious goodness to get me through the next hour! AWAY I WENT! First up on my playlist? Requiem for a Dream Why? Because it is an excellent combination of bad ass and epic and I need super goodness when I'm running up stairs.
So I'm running up the stairs like a woman on a mission when I hear banging just before the 3rd floor landing. I stop...!(COLLABORATE) and listen...silence....I look around it appears to be just me that has heard the banging. I think maybe it's part of the music I've never recognized before....start to climb the stairs again. MORE BANGING! I look around.
There's maybe 3 people on the floor below me I can see and none of them have noticed this banging. They're quite contently reading their books (and no they didn't have head phones in)...
And then I hear screaming and banging! So I run up the rest of the stairs trying to figure this out. No one is on the 3rd floor, the pronunciation center is closed, it's not coming from the bathroom...
More screaming it sounds like they're yelling Nissan? It's coming from the pronunciation center which is closed as of 3pm.
Some how this little asian girl pushed her way through the door, she said she thought it was the bathroom....The bathroom was like 5 feet away with a sign on the door!
Now honestly, and maybe this is racist, but if you're going to scream for help scream for help child! I don't know what nissan means I need a help me or rape or something.
Kid's just lucky I was walking by!
SINCE NONE OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE LIBRARY COULD BE BOTHERED TO HELP HER!
And this is where my doubt in humanity comes from.
Partly from her for being too stupid to read washrooms signs and forcing her way into a clearly closed area that honestly just looks like a wall. I don't know how she didn't realize it wasn't a bathroom.
Secondly! From the people around that paid no attention to her yelling and banging. And I mean this child must have been throwing all her might into that door because it was loud!
I still can't believe that no one came to help her! I don't know how long she was there before I came along!
Does this mean I'm going to stop listening to music on my Saturday night closing shift? No.
Am I worried that she may have planted a bomb or ruined something in the pronunciation center....maybe....but there's nothing I can do! If the library blows up tomorrow....I'll have no job and be very sad.
Though I'm sad anyways because I finished the rest of my spinach bread bowl...sad times indeed.
Oh well.
Go out and do something good, please. I want to believe that the people in this world don't suck.
Goodnight.
Friday 9 November 2012
Pride and Prejud-ex?
What up world!
I know shame on me! I have not posted in such a terribly long time....though it doesn't seem so terribly long on this blog thing but I feel like weeks have gone by I've been so busy at school....ugh school!
And no this is not another blog about how stupid and childishly rude Matt is. I just thought the title might amuse Miss Priscilla.
As we were walking to the dreaded french class, in which I am supposed to draw comparisons between french people and the normal world (which is quite difficult as they do try their darnedest not to be above normal humans), I noticed the sad one walking towards us. I do think the only way he'll be able to walk past me on his own is if he suddenly loses his sense of sight or if I disguise myself as a white man. Anyways, I'm sure you can guess what happened. As per usual, he saw me quickly turned sideways and RAN! So unskilled, he really needs to learn how to just melt into a crowd or something. But naturally I was offended once again, though I didn't yell his name like I swore I would, I just muttered about it and Priscilla! Oh the poor child wants to see Matt in action so terribly but alas he eyes were not on guard. Maybe next time Priscilla.
Oh lords, life has been so busy. I have been mentoring you see, the young tadpoles who must front of house manage the 2nd main stage. Tedious work I must say, though the show is quite enjoyable for Brecht I can not say it has been going smoothly.
The first night of Previews the drink fridge alarm went off! It's one of those things that you learn about in 205 class but just pray and hope and swear that it won't happen to you. It has never happened to me but they filled up the cooler very full. I asked "does the door shut properly?" "yes" was the reply....10 minutes later I'm in the box office going over some things and this awful, very loud, high pitched, alarm goes off! AND YOU JUST KNOW IT'S THE FRIDGE!!!!
The problem is that you're not actually taught in the class what to do if the alarm goes off....so I tell the box office girl to call our teacher! The marketing woman runs out and says "I'll you have to do is lock it!" ....that is not going to help anything. I tell one of the girls I'm mentoring to take out the first row of cans so that it can close properly. Like 3 minutes of this awful sound before the theater production, boss, manager guy comes storming out of his office and smacks the defrost button on the top of the fridge to get it to stop....I swear to god he hates me, every time something goes wrong in front of house I'm the one there.....Tears!
So the next preview! Everything's going fine, it's mostly students, everyone is pleasant....The parking ushers radio in saying that this man's credit card is stuck in the parking machines....Now we have no control of the parking machines, campus security is in charge of all that none sense and when things go wrong you have to call an outside company to fix the machines and then we have to pay for that even though we don't get money from the machines.
So I go get this man and bring him to the Phoenix thinking he's a patron, he is not but he is an super mad douche bag!
I choose to ignore him and let him deal with campus security....BECAUSE THE FLOOR IN THE WOMAN'S WASHROOM HAS DECIDED TO BLOW UP! It's like the sewer water place and when too many toilets are flushing it has a little melt down and spits it up through the floor drain....it was awful!
All of this of course was forgiven by Opening Reception for which kids make food and decorate platters for audience. OOOOOOO and the PUNCH! Delicious!
But better than that is getting to take home the left over food! I'm currently still eating a spinach bread bowl as I write this and believe me it is super good! Yeah that very bowl in the picture.....life has never been so sweet.
And also it's now EGG NOG latte time at Starbucks which just makes everything freaking fabulous! and today I didn't have any classes and I had no reason to go to school so Alfred brought me one on his way home because I've been having FOH struggles. He knows this because for both previews I just went to his house afterwards and cried on his floor.....which he probably wasn't fond of because he's working on his very important projects and papers that will allow him to graduate this summer. (TEARS) But he didn't send me away! He gave me ice cream and nodded his head and sometimes mumbled mhm as I blubbered away on the floor.
He is definitely the greatest friend I could ever ask for! He doesn't even try to stop me from watching Pride and Prejudice though it's always on when he comes over and I'm sure he's tired of it....It's educational....whatever I couldn't live without him.
I think this post was actually really lame but whatever it's my blog so you can just deal.
WHAT!
I know shame on me! I have not posted in such a terribly long time....though it doesn't seem so terribly long on this blog thing but I feel like weeks have gone by I've been so busy at school....ugh school!
And no this is not another blog about how stupid and childishly rude Matt is. I just thought the title might amuse Miss Priscilla.
As we were walking to the dreaded french class, in which I am supposed to draw comparisons between french people and the normal world (which is quite difficult as they do try their darnedest not to be above normal humans), I noticed the sad one walking towards us. I do think the only way he'll be able to walk past me on his own is if he suddenly loses his sense of sight or if I disguise myself as a white man. Anyways, I'm sure you can guess what happened. As per usual, he saw me quickly turned sideways and RAN! So unskilled, he really needs to learn how to just melt into a crowd or something. But naturally I was offended once again, though I didn't yell his name like I swore I would, I just muttered about it and Priscilla! Oh the poor child wants to see Matt in action so terribly but alas he eyes were not on guard. Maybe next time Priscilla.
Oh lords, life has been so busy. I have been mentoring you see, the young tadpoles who must front of house manage the 2nd main stage. Tedious work I must say, though the show is quite enjoyable for Brecht I can not say it has been going smoothly.
The first night of Previews the drink fridge alarm went off! It's one of those things that you learn about in 205 class but just pray and hope and swear that it won't happen to you. It has never happened to me but they filled up the cooler very full. I asked "does the door shut properly?" "yes" was the reply....10 minutes later I'm in the box office going over some things and this awful, very loud, high pitched, alarm goes off! AND YOU JUST KNOW IT'S THE FRIDGE!!!!
The problem is that you're not actually taught in the class what to do if the alarm goes off....so I tell the box office girl to call our teacher! The marketing woman runs out and says "I'll you have to do is lock it!" ....that is not going to help anything. I tell one of the girls I'm mentoring to take out the first row of cans so that it can close properly. Like 3 minutes of this awful sound before the theater production, boss, manager guy comes storming out of his office and smacks the defrost button on the top of the fridge to get it to stop....I swear to god he hates me, every time something goes wrong in front of house I'm the one there.....Tears!
So the next preview! Everything's going fine, it's mostly students, everyone is pleasant....The parking ushers radio in saying that this man's credit card is stuck in the parking machines....Now we have no control of the parking machines, campus security is in charge of all that none sense and when things go wrong you have to call an outside company to fix the machines and then we have to pay for that even though we don't get money from the machines.
So I go get this man and bring him to the Phoenix thinking he's a patron, he is not but he is an super mad douche bag!
I choose to ignore him and let him deal with campus security....BECAUSE THE FLOOR IN THE WOMAN'S WASHROOM HAS DECIDED TO BLOW UP! It's like the sewer water place and when too many toilets are flushing it has a little melt down and spits it up through the floor drain....it was awful!
All of this of course was forgiven by Opening Reception for which kids make food and decorate platters for audience. OOOOOOO and the PUNCH! Delicious!
But better than that is getting to take home the left over food! I'm currently still eating a spinach bread bowl as I write this and believe me it is super good! Yeah that very bowl in the picture.....life has never been so sweet.
And also it's now EGG NOG latte time at Starbucks which just makes everything freaking fabulous! and today I didn't have any classes and I had no reason to go to school so Alfred brought me one on his way home because I've been having FOH struggles. He knows this because for both previews I just went to his house afterwards and cried on his floor.....which he probably wasn't fond of because he's working on his very important projects and papers that will allow him to graduate this summer. (TEARS) But he didn't send me away! He gave me ice cream and nodded his head and sometimes mumbled mhm as I blubbered away on the floor.
He is definitely the greatest friend I could ever ask for! He doesn't even try to stop me from watching Pride and Prejudice though it's always on when he comes over and I'm sure he's tired of it....It's educational....whatever I couldn't live without him.
I think this post was actually really lame but whatever it's my blog so you can just deal.
WHAT!
Saturday 3 November 2012
Ex-Factors
You know world, I did a really good thing today. Like a really really good thing, I saved someone a whole lot of trouble....though they may not have been of deserving intelligence so why do cruel reminders pop up when you're feeling good about yourself?
Let me explain the events of my day:
Today I had to attend the safety talk for the Fall Mainstage that started around 11:30 (funny enough there was a fire alarm in the middle of the tech run that followed) which meant that I had to get up a whole hour earlier than I was planning to for a run that wasn't supposed to start til 1pm. And really my only purpose was to explain timed note taking to the girls that will be front of house managing this show because I'm their mentor (WOE IS ME!)
Anyways so I left my house, worried that I would miss my bus (Turns out the schedule was wrong and there is no bus at that time anyways) when there I see in the running gutter water a wallet.....with hundreds of cards in it....And I think to myself: Cecilly, you are a good person. You should return this girl's wallet! Imagine how worried she must be! She'll have to call all of those cards to cancel them! It's only 11 if you're lucky she's still super drunk and passed out and hasn't done that yet!
So I was a good person, I took the wallet with me to school so I could contact her...only her phone number was not in the wallet...personally I think you should always have your phone number in your wallet! I google the address on her drivers license...it's over in Gorge that's almost an hour long bus ride from my house! I don't have time for that! So me and the 2 other girls I'm mentoring begin calling the customer service numbers on the back of all these cards. Of course it's a weekend so many of them were closed...way to go customer service...
I know you're sitting at home reading this and thinking god Cecilly it's 2012 just facebook that girl! WELL I TRIED!!! But she had the most plain jane name! There were hundreds of her, many didn't look like her, most were from the other side of the world!
I finally got in touch with her credit card people and told them what happened to which they said: "Oh thank you for telling us we'll be sure to contact her have a nice day" and hung up.....excuse me lady...but you didn't take my number...how is she going to be able to find the person that has her stuff without that info...I may have just gotten her credit card canceled....OH WELL! DON'T LOOSE YOUR STUFF!!!
Basically it came down to calling the La Senza at the Bay Center (A mall downtown) because customer service is closed, begging the nice girl for her membership phone number, breaking the privacy policy at La Senza and getting her number....BUT OF COURSE SHE WOULD NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!
Ridiculous, you would think, no matter how drunk you were last night, that you would have your phone on when you've lost your wallet.....I called her about 6 times. Finally she turned her phone on and answered!
The problem? She didn't know where she was....how do you not know where you are? According to your drivers license you have lived in Victoria for at least 3 years and you don't know where you currently are? AND THEN SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE UVIC WAS!? WHAT?! ridiculous. More ridiculous is that where she was is still a 15 minute drive by car from my house and where her wallet was...How did your wallet end up outside my house! W
Whatever, I gave the crazy child directions and left it with the box office and then went out in the rain because of this fire drill....
I kid you not the world wants me to die!
So then! I'm feeling pretty good about my good deeds and what not. Girl got her wallet back and all her gift cards. Didn't have to cancel anything. I have work in an hour so I figure THAI FOOD! The only worthy treat! I even got to go with Gumpette who I almost never see anymore! It was going to be totally awesome!
But no, who would be outside of Fairway? Why none other than my least favorite human. You know he really brings it on himself. I wanted to be normal and friendly but no! Several times he has seen me and I KNOW he has and he has run away! That's PATHETIC! So I see him, he sees me avoids my eyes and runs into Fairway with his girlfriend (I assume it's his girlfriend) even though I was mid-wave. Whatever I didn't want to be nice anyways.
So I order my thai food and we're walking to cobs because Gumpette has it in for tasty bread and there he coming around the corner with what I can only assume are his 7 other roommates. (How awful would that be to have 7 roommates!)
He TRIES TO LOOK AWAY BUT I'M LIKE HELL NO!
So I very politely say Hi Matt. And yes I'm using his real name because he really doesn't deserve the decency to have his identity hidden. I can see him thinking about ignoring it but he says Hi...and runs away with his army of music kids.
I'm just freaking livid! but also Why do I care! Gumpette even said you can do so much better and I have. I had done better before I even dated him!
Even the drug dealer with the dog collar and chain in gr. 8 was better looking and a better boyfriend than him!
So I guess you're wondering why I settled for the bottom of the barrel.
Low self-esteem! And never again will I find myself in such a state of self loathing and misery and loneliness! Going into grade 10 everything was wrong and worthless but along comes this gaped toothed bag of douche who likes to sing (though his voice makes my ears cringe) and tells me I'm beautiful? Of course I fell.
Even when I found out what terrible humans he and his family are, even when he told me there was no point in staying together if we weren't getting married, even when he called me stupid and got me the most inconsiderate/insulting/insincere gifts or else told me that someone who realized how shitty his gifts were made him get something a little more heart felt I didn't leave him.
Why?
Fear probably. I remember when he told me he never wanted to leave Maple Ridge and that we might as well break up if marriage wasn't the result of our dating. Part of me was so mad and disgusted that this was the ultimatum but we didn't break up. I stayed with this jerk for a year, trying to convince myself that maybe one day I could marry him because what if no one else wanted me. Such bullshit. Of course I had my own faults in the relationship but I like to believe they were my passive aggressive attempts at payback for how low he made me feel.
Then one day he made the mistake of telling me that I was only one of 2 girls he had considered dating before he settled on me. The other was my very close friend, way out of his league, light years above me in looks but of course he realized she would never choose him when she had dozens of better looking boys throwing themselves at her feet. So he settled for me.
I think being told you're second best by someone you trust and think you love is about the worst feeling you can experience.
Today after watching the Good Person of Setzuan I was mad that Shen Te always goes back for Yang Sun even though when she's disguised as a man she can see clearly that he doesn't love her. My friend asked me had I ever been in love. I would like to think so but I guess that answer means no. But even if I haven't been in love I've experienced something like what Shen Te must have felt. Knowing one thing but ignoring it for another.
Yeah I would like to throw things at Matt. I won't but I'd like to, I might swear at him next time I see him alone.
The point of all this is that even though I'm really awesome now I wasn't always and I've learned a lot over the years that you can't let other people get to you. But you can let them pump you up! Which is why Alfred is over to kiss my feet and remind me why I deserve to rule the world. He's also agreed to watch Pride and Prejudice (though I think he's making fun of Kiara Knightly inside his head).
Whatever!
Stay strong readers!
You might get lucky and become stellar like me! <3
ps: if you're currently with an asshole and you think you're in love and that's making you irrational give me a call. I'll come straighten out his attitude!
Let me explain the events of my day:
Today I had to attend the safety talk for the Fall Mainstage that started around 11:30 (funny enough there was a fire alarm in the middle of the tech run that followed) which meant that I had to get up a whole hour earlier than I was planning to for a run that wasn't supposed to start til 1pm. And really my only purpose was to explain timed note taking to the girls that will be front of house managing this show because I'm their mentor (WOE IS ME!)
Anyways so I left my house, worried that I would miss my bus (Turns out the schedule was wrong and there is no bus at that time anyways) when there I see in the running gutter water a wallet.....with hundreds of cards in it....And I think to myself: Cecilly, you are a good person. You should return this girl's wallet! Imagine how worried she must be! She'll have to call all of those cards to cancel them! It's only 11 if you're lucky she's still super drunk and passed out and hasn't done that yet!
So I was a good person, I took the wallet with me to school so I could contact her...only her phone number was not in the wallet...personally I think you should always have your phone number in your wallet! I google the address on her drivers license...it's over in Gorge that's almost an hour long bus ride from my house! I don't have time for that! So me and the 2 other girls I'm mentoring begin calling the customer service numbers on the back of all these cards. Of course it's a weekend so many of them were closed...way to go customer service...
I know you're sitting at home reading this and thinking god Cecilly it's 2012 just facebook that girl! WELL I TRIED!!! But she had the most plain jane name! There were hundreds of her, many didn't look like her, most were from the other side of the world!
I finally got in touch with her credit card people and told them what happened to which they said: "Oh thank you for telling us we'll be sure to contact her have a nice day" and hung up.....excuse me lady...but you didn't take my number...how is she going to be able to find the person that has her stuff without that info...I may have just gotten her credit card canceled....OH WELL! DON'T LOOSE YOUR STUFF!!!
Basically it came down to calling the La Senza at the Bay Center (A mall downtown) because customer service is closed, begging the nice girl for her membership phone number, breaking the privacy policy at La Senza and getting her number....BUT OF COURSE SHE WOULD NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!
Ridiculous, you would think, no matter how drunk you were last night, that you would have your phone on when you've lost your wallet.....I called her about 6 times. Finally she turned her phone on and answered!
The problem? She didn't know where she was....how do you not know where you are? According to your drivers license you have lived in Victoria for at least 3 years and you don't know where you currently are? AND THEN SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE UVIC WAS!? WHAT?! ridiculous. More ridiculous is that where she was is still a 15 minute drive by car from my house and where her wallet was...How did your wallet end up outside my house! W
Whatever, I gave the crazy child directions and left it with the box office and then went out in the rain because of this fire drill....
I kid you not the world wants me to die!
So then! I'm feeling pretty good about my good deeds and what not. Girl got her wallet back and all her gift cards. Didn't have to cancel anything. I have work in an hour so I figure THAI FOOD! The only worthy treat! I even got to go with Gumpette who I almost never see anymore! It was going to be totally awesome!
But no, who would be outside of Fairway? Why none other than my least favorite human. You know he really brings it on himself. I wanted to be normal and friendly but no! Several times he has seen me and I KNOW he has and he has run away! That's PATHETIC! So I see him, he sees me avoids my eyes and runs into Fairway with his girlfriend (I assume it's his girlfriend) even though I was mid-wave. Whatever I didn't want to be nice anyways.
So I order my thai food and we're walking to cobs because Gumpette has it in for tasty bread and there he coming around the corner with what I can only assume are his 7 other roommates. (How awful would that be to have 7 roommates!)
He TRIES TO LOOK AWAY BUT I'M LIKE HELL NO!
So I very politely say Hi Matt. And yes I'm using his real name because he really doesn't deserve the decency to have his identity hidden. I can see him thinking about ignoring it but he says Hi...and runs away with his army of music kids.
I'm just freaking livid! but also Why do I care! Gumpette even said you can do so much better and I have. I had done better before I even dated him!
Even the drug dealer with the dog collar and chain in gr. 8 was better looking and a better boyfriend than him!
So I guess you're wondering why I settled for the bottom of the barrel.
Low self-esteem! And never again will I find myself in such a state of self loathing and misery and loneliness! Going into grade 10 everything was wrong and worthless but along comes this gaped toothed bag of douche who likes to sing (though his voice makes my ears cringe) and tells me I'm beautiful? Of course I fell.
Even when I found out what terrible humans he and his family are, even when he told me there was no point in staying together if we weren't getting married, even when he called me stupid and got me the most inconsiderate/insulting/insincere gifts or else told me that someone who realized how shitty his gifts were made him get something a little more heart felt I didn't leave him.
Why?
Fear probably. I remember when he told me he never wanted to leave Maple Ridge and that we might as well break up if marriage wasn't the result of our dating. Part of me was so mad and disgusted that this was the ultimatum but we didn't break up. I stayed with this jerk for a year, trying to convince myself that maybe one day I could marry him because what if no one else wanted me. Such bullshit. Of course I had my own faults in the relationship but I like to believe they were my passive aggressive attempts at payback for how low he made me feel.
Then one day he made the mistake of telling me that I was only one of 2 girls he had considered dating before he settled on me. The other was my very close friend, way out of his league, light years above me in looks but of course he realized she would never choose him when she had dozens of better looking boys throwing themselves at her feet. So he settled for me.
I think being told you're second best by someone you trust and think you love is about the worst feeling you can experience.
Today after watching the Good Person of Setzuan I was mad that Shen Te always goes back for Yang Sun even though when she's disguised as a man she can see clearly that he doesn't love her. My friend asked me had I ever been in love. I would like to think so but I guess that answer means no. But even if I haven't been in love I've experienced something like what Shen Te must have felt. Knowing one thing but ignoring it for another.
Yeah I would like to throw things at Matt. I won't but I'd like to, I might swear at him next time I see him alone.
The point of all this is that even though I'm really awesome now I wasn't always and I've learned a lot over the years that you can't let other people get to you. But you can let them pump you up! Which is why Alfred is over to kiss my feet and remind me why I deserve to rule the world. He's also agreed to watch Pride and Prejudice (though I think he's making fun of Kiara Knightly inside his head).
Whatever!
Stay strong readers!
You might get lucky and become stellar like me! <3
ps: if you're currently with an asshole and you think you're in love and that's making you irrational give me a call. I'll come straighten out his attitude!
Thursday 1 November 2012
Roses are Red, Poems Suck!
Priscilla has made it quite clear how discontent she is that I have no been posting more frequently....It's like the girl's never heard of homework...
Though let's be honest I don't really have homework mostly just poetry!
My feeling on poetry is that if it doesn't rhyme you might as well just write a short story...unfortunately my beliefs don't rule the class syllabus so I actually have to write poetry...that doesn't rhyme...because apparently I suck at that....joy....
Whatever! I want to write plays! Poetry is for the faint hearted! Take that Emily Dickinson!
So we wrote drafts for these poems and got feed back and basically everything that I had wanted in my poems the T.A. told me I was crazy, my poem was bad and no I couldn't make my poems about the things I wanted them to be about.....so....write new poems?
I went to my actual teacher for some advice. One of them it made sense I was like ok I can do that....the other one in which I really wanted to portray the ocean as a kidnapper like with the undertow and stuff was apparently a cliche connection. I needed to turn this ocean into a sexual predator....and then somewhere hint in the poem that the child's step father sexually abuses her....
HAS ANYONE EVER WRITTEN A HAPPY POEM BEFORE!?!
I mean come on! All through high school poems were depressing, stories were depressing, if people weren't dying it wasn't going to be a best seller! I thought we could leave that behind in university...not that kidnapping is very happy but it's not as bad as such blatant ridiculousness!
I'm going to have a BF! (I've wanted to make White Chick references all week but no one ever gets them anymore!)
And I have to mentor the second mainstage this weekend/week! That's like 24 hours of my life and crucial homework time gone! I'm never going to get that back especially since a whole whack of stuff is due wednesday but all Saturday I'll be at the theater, then work, and then Sunday my work thought they were helping since I couldn't do my usual wednesday shift with this show they put me on Sunday afternoon too....I'm just going to lock myself in my house...Maybe I'll let Alfred come.
It's weird because I go for what seems like weeks without seeing him (that's what happens when you're in brain sciences and you're graduating this year) and then he comes over 2 days in a row.
Oh right I guess I should mention that it was Halloween this week, people that are reading in other countries I don't know if you have this ridiculous day. We in Canada/ America dress up as things and eat candy.
Though let's be honest I don't really have homework mostly just poetry!
My feeling on poetry is that if it doesn't rhyme you might as well just write a short story...unfortunately my beliefs don't rule the class syllabus so I actually have to write poetry...that doesn't rhyme...because apparently I suck at that....joy....
Whatever! I want to write plays! Poetry is for the faint hearted! Take that Emily Dickinson!
So we wrote drafts for these poems and got feed back and basically everything that I had wanted in my poems the T.A. told me I was crazy, my poem was bad and no I couldn't make my poems about the things I wanted them to be about.....so....write new poems?
I went to my actual teacher for some advice. One of them it made sense I was like ok I can do that....the other one in which I really wanted to portray the ocean as a kidnapper like with the undertow and stuff was apparently a cliche connection. I needed to turn this ocean into a sexual predator....and then somewhere hint in the poem that the child's step father sexually abuses her....
HAS ANYONE EVER WRITTEN A HAPPY POEM BEFORE!?!
I mean come on! All through high school poems were depressing, stories were depressing, if people weren't dying it wasn't going to be a best seller! I thought we could leave that behind in university...not that kidnapping is very happy but it's not as bad as such blatant ridiculousness!
And I have to mentor the second mainstage this weekend/week! That's like 24 hours of my life and crucial homework time gone! I'm never going to get that back especially since a whole whack of stuff is due wednesday but all Saturday I'll be at the theater, then work, and then Sunday my work thought they were helping since I couldn't do my usual wednesday shift with this show they put me on Sunday afternoon too....I'm just going to lock myself in my house...Maybe I'll let Alfred come.
It's weird because I go for what seems like weeks without seeing him (that's what happens when you're in brain sciences and you're graduating this year) and then he comes over 2 days in a row.
Oh right I guess I should mention that it was Halloween this week, people that are reading in other countries I don't know if you have this ridiculous day. We in Canada/ America dress up as things and eat candy.
I was Sebastian from the Little Mermaid. --->
Our costumes were pretty spot on. Aurora was Ariel. She bought a spanx and sewed fabric shells onto her boobs and Priscilla was Flounder. We were the best....and yet we didn't win of the costume contests....But most importantly Alfred washed my dishes and cleaned up my couch in the living room! Wasn't that nice since all my spare time is spent writing blogs that I don't have time to keep my house clean...and the rest of that time is spent drunk at Halloween parties.
Whatever, tis a good life. He's still my BGFF (Best Guy Friend Forever) which I have to specify because Priscilla used to get upset when I would call him my BFF because apparently that's reserved forever....pft these kids just assuming their my favorites. Story of my life!!!
Let's be honest I gave him the fake name Alfred so that one day I could apply Batman/ Alfred pictures to my life. This is basically us!
Anyways in all seriousness I need to get in a depressed mode to write these dark creepy poems!
Ciao mi lovelies!<3
PS: the one who looks like Tintin still hasn't called, I think I'm safe...though I might have seen him in the library the other day.....Eep!
Friday 26 October 2012
Tintin Has My Number!?
What up readers!
I know I already posted that random post of all things of the week this morning but then something happened on my way to school and I just must share it. Mostly because, she's probably going to hate this name, Pamela thinks Tintin having my number is hilarious...
So here's how it happened!!
I was walking to school as per usual on a Friday when I should not be going to school as I have no classes to attend. When I walk to the Phoenix I get off at the stop just outside of the Ring so I can cut through Finnerty Gardens which is right across from the Phoenix.
So there I was walking to the Phoenix and, duh, singing which I always do! This morning I chose to sing all 5 parts of "I Turned the Corner" from Thoroughly Modern Millie...quite a feat when you are one person. Just means I get to choose which note I hit on the end chord...and I'm not a soprano which becomes more and more obvious as I spend more and more time out of choir. (one day I'll be one of those old ladies in community choir singing the bass lines! CLASSIC!)
Anyways so there I was wailing as I approach the gardens, I looked around to make sure no one was there to be disturbed...or judge me. (This girl on her bike totally ruined the climax of "Let Me Be Your Star" as I was waiting for the bus)
And then I saw this kid at the gates to the garden, luckily the song was over so I just didn't start singing the next one. As I approached this kid I noted how very hipster he looked, I think hipsters are ridiculous. (Hot tea should not be put in glass jars! It only makes the jars too hot to hold!)
"We're you singing opera just now" I could see how he might mistake my wailing for operatic excellence. I explained that I was actually singing a song from a musical. He just seemed so delighted!
"Could you sing some more for me please!?" omg what do you say to that.
I actually had a meeting this morning which is a suitable reason for going into school when I don't have class unlike usual. So I told him I had to get to class.
"Are you sure you couldn't sing just a bit more, you pretty much made my morning" I was flattered but honestly so embarrassed I declined some more.
"I've put you on the spot haven't I?" You don't think? "Well can I at least get your number and maybe we can hang out later and you can sing some more then?"
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING! I gave this random stranger my number (he was actually pretty cute besides his hipster get up) Mama Alfred will molt his feathers when he reads this!
Needless to say he tried once more to get me to sing! "Please," he said. "I'm dressed like Tintin!"
AND SO HE FREAKING WAS!! He had the dog in his back pack and everything! Bike leaning up against the fence! Mind blown there it was!
I just gave my number to Tintin! (Tintin does kinda look like a hipster)
Once again I declined and really had to be on my way...I really hope he doesn't call me....how awkward would that be!?
My friend Gumpette thinks he was probably a left over from the Fine Arts pub crawl last night which leads me to believe he slept in the gardens all night....but he wasn't wet and it was raining so I can hope not...but he was probably still really drunk....
Goodness I hope he doesn't call!
Goodnight my children!
I know I already posted that random post of all things of the week this morning but then something happened on my way to school and I just must share it. Mostly because, she's probably going to hate this name, Pamela thinks Tintin having my number is hilarious...
So here's how it happened!!
I was walking to school as per usual on a Friday when I should not be going to school as I have no classes to attend. When I walk to the Phoenix I get off at the stop just outside of the Ring so I can cut through Finnerty Gardens which is right across from the Phoenix.
So there I was walking to the Phoenix and, duh, singing which I always do! This morning I chose to sing all 5 parts of "I Turned the Corner" from Thoroughly Modern Millie...quite a feat when you are one person. Just means I get to choose which note I hit on the end chord...and I'm not a soprano which becomes more and more obvious as I spend more and more time out of choir. (one day I'll be one of those old ladies in community choir singing the bass lines! CLASSIC!)
Anyways so there I was wailing as I approach the gardens, I looked around to make sure no one was there to be disturbed...or judge me. (This girl on her bike totally ruined the climax of "Let Me Be Your Star" as I was waiting for the bus)
And then I saw this kid at the gates to the garden, luckily the song was over so I just didn't start singing the next one. As I approached this kid I noted how very hipster he looked, I think hipsters are ridiculous. (Hot tea should not be put in glass jars! It only makes the jars too hot to hold!)
"We're you singing opera just now" I could see how he might mistake my wailing for operatic excellence. I explained that I was actually singing a song from a musical. He just seemed so delighted!
"Could you sing some more for me please!?" omg what do you say to that.
I actually had a meeting this morning which is a suitable reason for going into school when I don't have class unlike usual. So I told him I had to get to class.
"Are you sure you couldn't sing just a bit more, you pretty much made my morning" I was flattered but honestly so embarrassed I declined some more.
"I've put you on the spot haven't I?" You don't think? "Well can I at least get your number and maybe we can hang out later and you can sing some more then?"
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING! I gave this random stranger my number (he was actually pretty cute besides his hipster get up) Mama Alfred will molt his feathers when he reads this!
Needless to say he tried once more to get me to sing! "Please," he said. "I'm dressed like Tintin!"
AND SO HE FREAKING WAS!! He had the dog in his back pack and everything! Bike leaning up against the fence! Mind blown there it was!
Once again I declined and really had to be on my way...I really hope he doesn't call me....how awkward would that be!?
My friend Gumpette thinks he was probably a left over from the Fine Arts pub crawl last night which leads me to believe he slept in the gardens all night....but he wasn't wet and it was raining so I can hope not...but he was probably still really drunk....
Goodness I hope he doesn't call!
Goodnight my children!
Cathing Up To Bald For Biebs!
What up! Let's catch some things up!
So I had this really sweet dream the other day but I can't really explain it because if you don't know who I am you don't know the people that were in it but I can tell you the beginning.
So my mother, my sister and I had to run away from the country. I have no idea where we lived or why we had to leave but I know the country wasn't Canada. I think we were escaping to Canada. But the only way people on the run could get out of the country was by flushing yourself down Niagra falls...There was 5 different parts to the falls and you had to be careful when being flushed and a good swimmer cause if you didn't get out at the right safety station you would be flushed away and die a horrible watery death.
When you were flushed in all you had to hold onto were those neck brace things that come down on you when you ride a roller coaster but you weren't strapped on.
Suprisingly we actually did pretty well, my sister almost got washed away on the last one but then she burst through the surface and flew to the shore and she was fine. We had escaped to somewhere. And that's all I can really tell you because you don't know the rest of the people who are important to the dream.
But the awesome thing was I woke up the moment the dream was done!
At the time I thought it was the best dream I ever had! I had to write it down! But I couldn't turn on the light of course, it was still night time and light would hurt my eyes. So I had the brilliant idea to grab my cellphone and just write it under a memo....I'm so stupid. Cellphones are very bright! Especially in pitch blackness!
So there I was completely blinded at 4 in the morning. But it was alright because I fell back asleep until 10am.
I've also had a lot of freedom recently now that I don't have to care about managing a show and I have a break before I have to mentor the Good Person of Setzuan. Naturally in my free time I attempt youtube hair tutorial videos which usually fails because my hair does not currently fit under a length category. Which sucks!
But I think I succeeded in my I Love Lucy look. Though I didn't get a picture of the whole outfit....actually even this picture of my hair isn't very good! But I was proud of it!
THE BEST NEWS! I finally got to go to pole tonight!
It has been 3 weeks since I've been to pole! That's forever! But I can still do most things! (except hold myself up of course, that's never gunna happen)
I got to do a new turn and everything! It's called the reverse ballerina, I would post a video so you could see what it looks like but I can't find one....sad world doesn't appreciate pole goddesses!
Anyways I should probs go to bed. Even though my body is not going to move in the morning. I did an hour of this Dancer Physique class. IT WAS BRUTAL! I wanted to vomit and chop all my limbs off it was so bad! I won't be doing it again next week.
NOW! to the title of this post because I just found out and I think it's hilarious!
Some trolls on the internet tricked Bieber fans into believing he had a very rare form of leukemia....
To show their support Bieber fans all over the world shaved their head for him! It trended on twitter!
Think about this with me now! A HUGE! portion of the worlds tweens and teens are bald (mostly girls) because of one giant internet trolling spree!!
Ok yes cancer isn't funny but in this care I'm amused!
Well played trolls, well played.
So I had this really sweet dream the other day but I can't really explain it because if you don't know who I am you don't know the people that were in it but I can tell you the beginning.
So my mother, my sister and I had to run away from the country. I have no idea where we lived or why we had to leave but I know the country wasn't Canada. I think we were escaping to Canada. But the only way people on the run could get out of the country was by flushing yourself down Niagra falls...There was 5 different parts to the falls and you had to be careful when being flushed and a good swimmer cause if you didn't get out at the right safety station you would be flushed away and die a horrible watery death.
When you were flushed in all you had to hold onto were those neck brace things that come down on you when you ride a roller coaster but you weren't strapped on.
Suprisingly we actually did pretty well, my sister almost got washed away on the last one but then she burst through the surface and flew to the shore and she was fine. We had escaped to somewhere. And that's all I can really tell you because you don't know the rest of the people who are important to the dream.
But the awesome thing was I woke up the moment the dream was done!
At the time I thought it was the best dream I ever had! I had to write it down! But I couldn't turn on the light of course, it was still night time and light would hurt my eyes. So I had the brilliant idea to grab my cellphone and just write it under a memo....I'm so stupid. Cellphones are very bright! Especially in pitch blackness!
So there I was completely blinded at 4 in the morning. But it was alright because I fell back asleep until 10am.
I've also had a lot of freedom recently now that I don't have to care about managing a show and I have a break before I have to mentor the Good Person of Setzuan. Naturally in my free time I attempt youtube hair tutorial videos which usually fails because my hair does not currently fit under a length category. Which sucks!
But I think I succeeded in my I Love Lucy look. Though I didn't get a picture of the whole outfit....actually even this picture of my hair isn't very good! But I was proud of it!
It has been 3 weeks since I've been to pole! That's forever! But I can still do most things! (except hold myself up of course, that's never gunna happen)
I got to do a new turn and everything! It's called the reverse ballerina, I would post a video so you could see what it looks like but I can't find one....sad world doesn't appreciate pole goddesses!
Anyways I should probs go to bed. Even though my body is not going to move in the morning. I did an hour of this Dancer Physique class. IT WAS BRUTAL! I wanted to vomit and chop all my limbs off it was so bad! I won't be doing it again next week.
NOW! to the title of this post because I just found out and I think it's hilarious!
Some trolls on the internet tricked Bieber fans into believing he had a very rare form of leukemia....
To show their support Bieber fans all over the world shaved their head for him! It trended on twitter!
Think about this with me now! A HUGE! portion of the worlds tweens and teens are bald (mostly girls) because of one giant internet trolling spree!!
Ok yes cancer isn't funny but in this care I'm amused!
Well played trolls, well played.
Thursday 25 October 2012
Beware The Groove!
I think I might post twice tonight or just write 2 and then post one tomorrow because I feel like so much is going on and I haven't posted in forever which is a lie I posted 3 days ago!
Here we go!
So the other day, Tuesday when I had planned to write this out, I realized around noon that I was signed up for this groove class at my dance studio where I pole dance....how did this happen I thought to myself?
I honestly have no memory of ever looking at the studio schedule and going yeah I think groove would be a good idea, on a Tuesday, when usually I just sit at home or see Alfred or something. I didn't even know what groove was! Why would I sign up for it! (I fear, yet to be confirmed, that Alfred signed me up for it because he secretly no longer wants to hang out with me anymore.)
The course description: Get ready to move around!
Here we go!
So the other day, Tuesday when I had planned to write this out, I realized around noon that I was signed up for this groove class at my dance studio where I pole dance....how did this happen I thought to myself?
I honestly have no memory of ever looking at the studio schedule and going yeah I think groove would be a good idea, on a Tuesday, when usually I just sit at home or see Alfred or something. I didn't even know what groove was! Why would I sign up for it! (I fear, yet to be confirmed, that Alfred signed me up for it because he secretly no longer wants to hang out with me anymore.)
The course description: Get ready to move around!
.......................................................................................................................what?
That's not a description!
But my dance studio has a 24 hour cancellation period and the class was that night and yeah, true enough I wasn't going to do anything anyways so I went.
My first impression, everyone in this class is strange and appear to be socially awkward.
Then this girl showed up and brought glow sticks.....why would we need glow sticks in a dance class I wondered.
I WAS SO LOST!
I WAS SO LOST!
And then it all made sense.
My dance instructor turned off the lights and turned on the black lights! We were freaking glow in the dark! Glow sticks everywhere! AND THEN WE DANCED! Well not really....we kinda krumped around the room which was strange being the only coloured kid in the class....
We had a little krump battle, me against this adorable little white girl, needless to say she didn't stand a chance.
I think the whitest move we did was that ski movement where your legs go back one at a time, very strange.
The best part of course was that it was all to 90'S HIP HOP! So good. Jumping around to Woomp There It Is, Push it, U Can't Touch This.
....And then we had a random moment that was all about working your gluts (AKA your butt). My teacher just yelled "SPREAD YOUR LEGS LIKE MAGIC MIKE IS ABOUT TO FRISK YOU!" (she had just purchased Magic Mike that morning=bad for your health) And we proceeded to seduce the wall with bootylicious goodness. It was a little awkward, just a smidgen.
But then we shook it out around the room. It was a lot of fun! And I'm glad I went....of course Wednesday morning my body didn't want to function and just cried at me for all the hours I was awake before I forced it to go patrol the library...
One day I'll pay my body back for being so understanding.
Until then...I've signed up for Groove next week! It's gunna be good!!
Peace out peeps!
Monday 22 October 2012
Lord, Let Me Be A Call Girl
Hey Readers,
I'm going to make this super fast because Alfred is on his way, I haven't done dishes in like 4 days and I haven't seen him since....I feel like it's been 2 weeks....but that's probably a lie I can't keep track of the days.
....And about my last post...Yeah I was really drunk and when I said chail I meant jail but I think it was mostly understandable. And GUESS WHO ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK THE NEXT MORNING!? Clark Kent. Yeah bitches, I think I won that battle.
But let's talk about the real heart of the matter here...
World!
I WANT TO BE A PROSTITUTE!!!
Ok so maybe not, I don't want to be all hopped up on drugs and skulking around back alley ways but like a high class escort, a courtesan, a call girl! A girl in high demand that people have to go through a selection process to have the privilege to be with ME!
I know, I know if Gnomiomy is reading this she is probably shaking her head in shame but it is more likely she has chosen to disregard my blasphemous tendencies. P. Bob is probably just laughing her ass off and will threaten me later to tell my dad when she next sees him at the gym. (Don't tell Ivor, he'll never be able to handle the truth about his little girl)
But seriously, I think my real inner whore started to come out at a friend's birthday party this summer when we were drunk on chatroulette. Everyone on chatroulette is either looking for boobs or 12 year old boys....looking for boobs. And then every now and then you get a group of girls who are just looking for guys who are looking for boobs so that they can scream and go to the next page. Seems like a perfectly useful website, what could go wrong....(I'm rolling my eyes)
Anyways, drunk me was all down for the boobs. Luckily P.Bob was not so down, saved me a few times. I still got a couple though.
Well low and behold, Cecilly actually gets drunk the other day. Yes I have drunk since returning to school but not like this. It was the Vodka shots I think! BLAME MY WHORISHNESS ON PRISCILLA! <--she wanted to do the vodka shots and it was her vodka so naturally it's all her fault.Yup!
Right so I was super drunk and I go for a walk with some guys who I plan to make my new best guy friends because they're soooo freaking awesome, I'll let them know one day of my plans. And I come back and this kid is sitting in a director's chair in the living room. Like one of those old, very uncomfortable, wood and cloth, high up chairs. And he just looks at me and says "Cecilly, Dance!"
Naturally I can not dance, I lack the ability to normal human dance but there is one kind of dance I can do...."I only know how to pole dance" I say. Naturally I think I have figured my way out of this, not that drunk me really cares. And then Antonio, who is just sitting on the floor with this second year girl!
"Just imagine there's a pole!"
And I did you guys, I could see the pole in my head, I knew a routine! We had just learned it in Dirty Dancing last week! I WAS GOING FOR IT!!
And then sober Cecilly (who, shhh, sounds a lot like Alfred) was like 'girl what do you think you're doing, you're in public and these people will remember this tomorrow!' and drunk Cecilly was like 'but' and sober Cecilfred was like 'just say no!'
....So I said no, be proud my Gnomikins! I did not make a fool of myself and I did not strip for the Phoenix!
I hit Antonio for it today, he's not even sorry! Said he would get me next time....great now I gotta watch my back. But there's a whole month before the next party.
So maybe I won't be a prostitute....though I bet I'd make fantastic money and I would never have to worry about paying for school or loan debt....
I guess I'll just have to suffice with putting on ridiculous, ill fitted shades of lipstick, watching Secret Diaries of a Call Girl and taking pole dancing classes.
C'est la vie.
Alfred and I are going to Willows Beach, rain already ruined my hair today, what's a little walk gunna do.
I'm going to make this super fast because Alfred is on his way, I haven't done dishes in like 4 days and I haven't seen him since....I feel like it's been 2 weeks....but that's probably a lie I can't keep track of the days.
....And about my last post...Yeah I was really drunk and when I said chail I meant jail but I think it was mostly understandable. And GUESS WHO ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK THE NEXT MORNING!? Clark Kent. Yeah bitches, I think I won that battle.
But let's talk about the real heart of the matter here...
World!
I WANT TO BE A PROSTITUTE!!!
Ok so maybe not, I don't want to be all hopped up on drugs and skulking around back alley ways but like a high class escort, a courtesan, a call girl! A girl in high demand that people have to go through a selection process to have the privilege to be with ME!
I know, I know if Gnomiomy is reading this she is probably shaking her head in shame but it is more likely she has chosen to disregard my blasphemous tendencies. P. Bob is probably just laughing her ass off and will threaten me later to tell my dad when she next sees him at the gym. (Don't tell Ivor, he'll never be able to handle the truth about his little girl)
But seriously, I think my real inner whore started to come out at a friend's birthday party this summer when we were drunk on chatroulette. Everyone on chatroulette is either looking for boobs or 12 year old boys....looking for boobs. And then every now and then you get a group of girls who are just looking for guys who are looking for boobs so that they can scream and go to the next page. Seems like a perfectly useful website, what could go wrong....(I'm rolling my eyes)
Anyways, drunk me was all down for the boobs. Luckily P.Bob was not so down, saved me a few times. I still got a couple though.
Well low and behold, Cecilly actually gets drunk the other day. Yes I have drunk since returning to school but not like this. It was the Vodka shots I think! BLAME MY WHORISHNESS ON PRISCILLA! <--she wanted to do the vodka shots and it was her vodka so naturally it's all her fault.Yup!
Right so I was super drunk and I go for a walk with some guys who I plan to make my new best guy friends because they're soooo freaking awesome, I'll let them know one day of my plans. And I come back and this kid is sitting in a director's chair in the living room. Like one of those old, very uncomfortable, wood and cloth, high up chairs. And he just looks at me and says "Cecilly, Dance!"
Naturally I can not dance, I lack the ability to normal human dance but there is one kind of dance I can do...."I only know how to pole dance" I say. Naturally I think I have figured my way out of this, not that drunk me really cares. And then Antonio, who is just sitting on the floor with this second year girl!
"Just imagine there's a pole!"
And I did you guys, I could see the pole in my head, I knew a routine! We had just learned it in Dirty Dancing last week! I WAS GOING FOR IT!!
And then sober Cecilly (who, shhh, sounds a lot like Alfred) was like 'girl what do you think you're doing, you're in public and these people will remember this tomorrow!' and drunk Cecilly was like 'but' and sober Cecilfred was like 'just say no!'
....So I said no, be proud my Gnomikins! I did not make a fool of myself and I did not strip for the Phoenix!
I hit Antonio for it today, he's not even sorry! Said he would get me next time....great now I gotta watch my back. But there's a whole month before the next party.
So maybe I won't be a prostitute....though I bet I'd make fantastic money and I would never have to worry about paying for school or loan debt....
I guess I'll just have to suffice with putting on ridiculous, ill fitted shades of lipstick, watching Secret Diaries of a Call Girl and taking pole dancing classes.
C'est la vie.
Alfred and I are going to Willows Beach, rain already ruined my hair today, what's a little walk gunna do.
Sunday 21 October 2012
Close Dis Mutha Down!
It has been a long lond day my friends! I know this!
And yers I write this I am drunk..A consequence of dealing with the ushers for so long! But it is closing which means I get to let go! Ever if i have to do opera homework tomorrow and then go over to Pricsilla's place for zombie make up times ato haunt the house again tomorrow. Sometimes mama alto/ sugarmama just needs a drinkl or a 6 pack is good too! THIS was my metdal for not killing Clark Kent! I have neem super nice to him alday! I get a drink!
And Drink I Did!
It has been a freat day, I conveinently cheecked out and then avoided all the men in the club....not a club the phoenix party! which is a good go cecilly! because i reuse to date men in the theater....just leads to toruble! toruble sucks! can't have that! Party recap!!!
So superman lost his pin! which emans he has to grant this girl 3 wishes! her first is that he clean her house....silly wish if you as me! can't trust a man to clean a house and she never said how well either! it could be his version of clean! silly child , yiu mudt think out the wording of your wishes! but she's got 2 more. I ho9pe she does mbetter and makes him really suffer!
I met some of his frat friends, they seem pretty nice. Guess I can't just! oh well they were more sober than we were which is danger man so dangerous!
I tried to play "Emma " aka gwenthyh Paltrow and set my friends up....lodn't think it worked ....at all....i odn't really care. she just asked me to put in a good word with him.....sigh people
Then of course theres all the people that come up and say mo matter what the uvic progeressors say i belong in the acting program....thanks....I'll keep that in mind....oh drunk people so good. Gota love em..
thane the cops showed up and I left....never going to chail. no way never no how.
and also my house was 3 blocks away! so I went home, ehear I am,,,,posting though I know I shouldn't I checked in with mamma/ butler Alfred to let him know that I got home safe as he wishesd. And DUH! I MADE QUAC! It's the one thing I can do drunk!
Night,
me and Nachos are going to go lie down!
And yers I write this I am drunk..A consequence of dealing with the ushers for so long! But it is closing which means I get to let go! Ever if i have to do opera homework tomorrow and then go over to Pricsilla's place for zombie make up times ato haunt the house again tomorrow. Sometimes mama alto/ sugarmama just needs a drinkl or a 6 pack is good too! THIS was my metdal for not killing Clark Kent! I have neem super nice to him alday! I get a drink!
And Drink I Did!
It has been a freat day, I conveinently cheecked out and then avoided all the men in the club....not a club the phoenix party! which is a good go cecilly! because i reuse to date men in the theater....just leads to toruble! toruble sucks! can't have that! Party recap!!!
So superman lost his pin! which emans he has to grant this girl 3 wishes! her first is that he clean her house....silly wish if you as me! can't trust a man to clean a house and she never said how well either! it could be his version of clean! silly child , yiu mudt think out the wording of your wishes! but she's got 2 more. I ho9pe she does mbetter and makes him really suffer!
I met some of his frat friends, they seem pretty nice. Guess I can't just! oh well they were more sober than we were which is danger man so dangerous!
I tried to play "Emma " aka gwenthyh Paltrow and set my friends up....lodn't think it worked ....at all....i odn't really care. she just asked me to put in a good word with him.....sigh people
Then of course theres all the people that come up and say mo matter what the uvic progeressors say i belong in the acting program....thanks....I'll keep that in mind....oh drunk people so good. Gota love em..
thane the cops showed up and I left....never going to chail. no way never no how.
and also my house was 3 blocks away! so I went home, ehear I am,,,,posting though I know I shouldn't I checked in with mamma/ butler Alfred to let him know that I got home safe as he wishesd. And DUH! I MADE QUAC! It's the one thing I can do drunk!
Night,
me and Nachos are going to go lie down!
Friday 19 October 2012
POOPY LADY 2012!
Alright kiddies,
I will now impart upon you the struggles of being a front of house manager. I hope you're comfortable.
Let's start with yesterday when I survived 'Poopy Lady', the nickname of possibly the most troublesome Phoenix patron....I suppose I have to tell you how she got the nickname....
WELL!! A long very long time ago she came to see a show. Now she is a very old woman, should not be driving but she does and I have yet to hear any reports of her killing people. This lady has really really really bad arthritis. Her hands barely moved and her fingers are all curled inwards so she can't really pick anything up. So one day all those years ago she arrived late to a show (She is always late even though the shows have always started at 8) and she insisted that she must go to the bathroom.
From there we are a little lost as to the events but we assume that she did not actually sit down on the toilet but sort of squatted and went to the bathroom....but she missed and there was poop all over the floor. Naturally a terribly embarrassing incident but she tried to remedy it but picking it off the floor....only to kind of smear it around the stall instead because her hands don't work properly.
All speculation mind you we have no idea what truly happened other than a stall covered in poop was discovered shortly later.
So we seated this woman and started the show but all these people kept coming out and complaining about the smell in the theater. Turns out there was poop all down her pants and she wreaked. she got it all over the theater seat as well and they had to like steam dry clean it or something I don't really know of the story behind the seat.
Thus giving her the name, Poopy Lady. Remember this did not happen to me thank goodness!
However last night, it is 8 pm and the stage manager is just doing her last minute call when i see this very slow moving mass coming towards me from the parking lot....I JUST NOW IT IS HER! and as they got closer IT WAS! I had this second year shadowing me, she was kind of excited...that changed fast.
So they're already late, then she can't find her ticket because her hands don't work and she's kind of just scooping things out of her purse. And then her friend, who's not a very good friend just abandons her and runs off to sit down! This woman moves at about snail speed, that is not exaggerating that is fact!
I've got my ushers helping her into the theater and she's hacking! (well like quiet hacking but a soft equivalent of death) and she's spitting up into these napkins! We just make it to the theater door and she's like "I need more napkins!" and i'm like oh god! So I send my usher to get more paper towel from the bathroom and I begin helping her down the steps to her seat. WHY IS THIS WOMAN IN THE FRONT FREAKING ROW! Because her friend likes it there of course! Just freaking rude, no consideration for anyone else.
So I finally get her down and into the seat, hand her more tissue and start the show. Only 10 minutes late which is good considering most of her incidents start 20 minutes late.
All is well I count everything, all adds up I'm happy. Show gets out everyone is happy I am happy.....then stage management comes on the headsets asking for a manager to come into the theater and check on this woman. One of my ushers comes running out and is all freaked out by this woman who appears to be dying. I think to myself "HELL NO! If she's going to pick today to die! I'm bringing Sandra (boss lady) with me!" So I do. She's not dying.....just coughing and spitting everywhere.
They insist that they don't want the rest of their seats for the season changed they just enjoy causing trouble in the theater. And then PL insists on stopping to eat some chocolate to help her cough....that's not how it works crazy!
Takes about 20 minutes to get her out of the theater alone, and we're doing a sweep when the girl I've been mentoring comes up and tells me that there's a pile of wet napkins where she was sitting and a really wet cloth......NOOOOOO! GROSS!!! But there's literally no one else I can get to do it!
So I had to go into concession, grab some gloves and a plastic bag and go clean up this drool mess!
I. WANTED. TO. BARF! it was just awful, thank god it didn't smell or anything but like SERIOUSLY! That's not acceptable! Stay home! You shouldn't be driving anyways!
Then I came home and cried because I had no milk (Alfred drank it all) and I was scarred for life by the feeling of wet, squishy dish cloths.
Then of course tonight, Clark Kent once again failed to become Superman and decided to just not show up. SIGH! Unimpressed! Along with discovering other problems where Antonio messed up! And then I ended up with 5 dollars over the amount we should have had. But I'm pretty sure we'll find it tomorrow. I really shouldn't have put Mr. Kent's replacement in the concession, she's just not all there in the head.
Oh well.
I'm super tired and Alfred brought me more milk so I'm just going to have hot chocolate, a message and watch Shrek. Then to bed I go!
Love you followers
Night.
I will now impart upon you the struggles of being a front of house manager. I hope you're comfortable.
Let's start with yesterday when I survived 'Poopy Lady', the nickname of possibly the most troublesome Phoenix patron....I suppose I have to tell you how she got the nickname....
WELL!! A long very long time ago she came to see a show. Now she is a very old woman, should not be driving but she does and I have yet to hear any reports of her killing people. This lady has really really really bad arthritis. Her hands barely moved and her fingers are all curled inwards so she can't really pick anything up. So one day all those years ago she arrived late to a show (She is always late even though the shows have always started at 8) and she insisted that she must go to the bathroom.
From there we are a little lost as to the events but we assume that she did not actually sit down on the toilet but sort of squatted and went to the bathroom....but she missed and there was poop all over the floor. Naturally a terribly embarrassing incident but she tried to remedy it but picking it off the floor....only to kind of smear it around the stall instead because her hands don't work properly.
All speculation mind you we have no idea what truly happened other than a stall covered in poop was discovered shortly later.
So we seated this woman and started the show but all these people kept coming out and complaining about the smell in the theater. Turns out there was poop all down her pants and she wreaked. she got it all over the theater seat as well and they had to like steam dry clean it or something I don't really know of the story behind the seat.
Thus giving her the name, Poopy Lady. Remember this did not happen to me thank goodness!
However last night, it is 8 pm and the stage manager is just doing her last minute call when i see this very slow moving mass coming towards me from the parking lot....I JUST NOW IT IS HER! and as they got closer IT WAS! I had this second year shadowing me, she was kind of excited...that changed fast.
So they're already late, then she can't find her ticket because her hands don't work and she's kind of just scooping things out of her purse. And then her friend, who's not a very good friend just abandons her and runs off to sit down! This woman moves at about snail speed, that is not exaggerating that is fact!
I've got my ushers helping her into the theater and she's hacking! (well like quiet hacking but a soft equivalent of death) and she's spitting up into these napkins! We just make it to the theater door and she's like "I need more napkins!" and i'm like oh god! So I send my usher to get more paper towel from the bathroom and I begin helping her down the steps to her seat. WHY IS THIS WOMAN IN THE FRONT FREAKING ROW! Because her friend likes it there of course! Just freaking rude, no consideration for anyone else.
So I finally get her down and into the seat, hand her more tissue and start the show. Only 10 minutes late which is good considering most of her incidents start 20 minutes late.
All is well I count everything, all adds up I'm happy. Show gets out everyone is happy I am happy.....then stage management comes on the headsets asking for a manager to come into the theater and check on this woman. One of my ushers comes running out and is all freaked out by this woman who appears to be dying. I think to myself "HELL NO! If she's going to pick today to die! I'm bringing Sandra (boss lady) with me!" So I do. She's not dying.....just coughing and spitting everywhere.
They insist that they don't want the rest of their seats for the season changed they just enjoy causing trouble in the theater. And then PL insists on stopping to eat some chocolate to help her cough....that's not how it works crazy!
Takes about 20 minutes to get her out of the theater alone, and we're doing a sweep when the girl I've been mentoring comes up and tells me that there's a pile of wet napkins where she was sitting and a really wet cloth......NOOOOOO! GROSS!!! But there's literally no one else I can get to do it!
So I had to go into concession, grab some gloves and a plastic bag and go clean up this drool mess!
I. WANTED. TO. BARF! it was just awful, thank god it didn't smell or anything but like SERIOUSLY! That's not acceptable! Stay home! You shouldn't be driving anyways!
Then I came home and cried because I had no milk (Alfred drank it all) and I was scarred for life by the feeling of wet, squishy dish cloths.
Then of course tonight, Clark Kent once again failed to become Superman and decided to just not show up. SIGH! Unimpressed! Along with discovering other problems where Antonio messed up! And then I ended up with 5 dollars over the amount we should have had. But I'm pretty sure we'll find it tomorrow. I really shouldn't have put Mr. Kent's replacement in the concession, she's just not all there in the head.
Oh well.
I'm super tired and Alfred brought me more milk so I'm just going to have hot chocolate, a message and watch Shrek. Then to bed I go!
Love you followers
Night.
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