In all honesty, I have no idea how one makes it through a night of drinking without dying or serious injury. True there are many who don't make it through the night and many who do and I am fortunate to be one of those who do....for several nights in a row.
Which is basically all I've been doing, what I was doing in my last 2 posts but I think we need a sober recap of the more important events on those nights.
December 6th! Twas my friend, Shenanigads birthday
She is a history major so we met at her house with many smart historical types and drank and played Cards Against Humanity which is like a more bad ass version of Apples to Apples. And we watched her get inducted/baptized in the traditional Dutch way to become a worthy owner of the Dutch card game Dutch Blitz....it was very strange but we supported her and were proud to have seen her come so far.
December 7th! SMUTCo PARTY!!
Smutco stands for Student Musical Theater Company which basically means of people who really really love musicals and are denied any form of singing in the Phoenix so they started their own club so each year they can do a review of sorts of their favorite songs. This year were doing classics like Cell Block Tango and America as well as new goodness like Let Me Be Your Star, 96,000 and other solo/mash ups. It's super awesome and we had a party for just us members but lots of people were already gone because it's exam week. But Lord Chase and myself were drinking heartily. It twas then decided that we be new best drinking buddies! After I was walking home and i thought I would take this shortcut that leads to a road with the same name as my road but they don't connect so I got lost. I was walking along and I saw this guy go sprinting across the road in front of me so I took out my pocket knife just in case...don't want to die. And he goes sprinting back across the road and sits in his car....it was creepy but he paid no notice to me and didn't stalk me home so I think he was a delivery guy...even though it was like 1 in the morning....
December 8th I took a little rest. It's hard being drunk so much.
December 9th! Alfred and I were together again!
After a very long day of work in the library Alfred brought me along to his friend Michael's birthday party...I've met him like twice....not awkward.
But before we could get there however I had a long bout of nose bleeding. It was awful and I never get them so I had no idea what to do! And his friend Pat, driving us there, wouldn't let me in the car until it stopped! It wasn't good. I just lied face down in the parking lot until it stopped because the pavement was cold. Not a good start....BUT THEN! I met this guy Nick while I was there and we were both drunk and we got into this massive conversation about Egg Nog and how freaking fantastic it is and all her friends always disagree! Turns out he had egg nog!...at his house....like a 20 minute walk away.
Now I hope you're all smarter than me and would never follow a random stranger you met at a party away from your friends because he promised you egg nog...it was no wise. But luck was with me and he was not a rapist! Just a friendly drunk who had egg nog. So we walked all the way to his house which was a fair distance and all the way back. Without a coat of course because drunks can't be bothered with trivial matters....got back to the party about 5am...it was definitely winding down. Luckily Alfred was still there,, quite worried that I had run off somewhere without my things and with some random guy but happy enough to see I wasn't dead.
Took some time off then...thought I might study for my writing exam but I didn't.
December 13th! WRITING EXAM!
So Lord Chase and I planned to go drinking after this exam and it's a good thing we did because it was a very bad exam. It called for shots. So we climb up mount Tolmie, get our glow sticks on start drinking. Are super drunk on the top of this mountain looking out at Victoria lights. We decide to get pizza and start walking back but instead of getting pizza from the caf, it's like 9:30, we order from this Beer and More to you door thing because His Lordship decides we need more alcohol, I was not opposed.
But we ordered wine....and I don't like wine...I can't drink it it's just so gross! But he insists we get a magnum...which when I ordered I thought was a brand or type....but it's a size!
A VERY LARGE BOTTLE OF WINE!!! ...and I still don't like wine...I ended up mixing it with pepsi to drink...cause I'm just so classy! It was also Antonio's birthday today so at midnight we sent him an e-card of our faces.
Luck is my friend.
So how should you drink tons and not die?
Step 1: Drink all your alcohol really fast right away! You get super drunk super quick but as the night goes on you work it off so that by the time your ready for bed you're only slightly tipsy! (does not work for everyone)
Step 2: Drink with your friends! At least then, even if you're both super freaking wasted some one else will be there in the case of your death....
Perhaps step 2 should have been choose trustworthy friends to drink with....I trust my friends enough to call 911 before running off and hiding in the bushes.
Step 3: Tell someone where you are! (have you noticed these steps have no specific order?)
I always let someone know where I am. My drunk texting has become much worse though this year and I often hit 6 letters at once on my blackberry so it doesn't always work but as long as someone knows your drinking it's a good start.
I tried to tell Antonio about going for egg nog with Nick, and when I turned down the wrong street and got lost on the night of Smutco party but all he said was don't die and don't stab anyone not very helpful or sympathetic.
So maybe he isn't the best to tell.
I try to tell Aurora, if she's awake she's pretty good at deciphering or being worried which is always appreciated. I think she probably just sits there laughing and my incomprehensibleness.
Sometimes I text Gumpette about the cool things.
And generally Alfred knows in advance that I'm going out.
other than that sometimes I text who ever is near the top of my contacts list...like Pamela the other night...didn't tell her where I was or that I was drunk just that I loved her a lot.
These are the keys that I can give you.
If you wake up not dead then I can tell you to drink water. Eat salty things...or just hope there's food in your house....during show weeks there is never any food in my house. It's a shame.
Well good luck to all of you still writing exams, happy living to all of those who aren't.
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