Sunday 30 September 2012

The Girl who Cried Wolf's Bane of My Existance

Oh followers,
What to do when you feel like the whole world is crashing down around you?
I believe the feeling started yesterday when I once again attempted to use the bus stop as a pole for pole dancing practice. It works quite well actually, your hands don't slip and being on the downward slope of the Foul Bay hill makes momentum really easy. The problem you ask? Cement sidewalks.
So I held the pole and I spun landing on the balls of my Urban Planet cowboy boots, pivoted and span again. But when I landed something was different. I looked down at the soles of my boots and it would appear that the concrete had ripped through them to the lining. Thus beginning my turmoil.
Sure I tried to stuff the void in my soul with some replacement flats, leg warmers and colourful fishnet tights but it was still there I could still feel the wind howling through the tear.
So I hung out with my friends, always good times. We watched Treasure Planet, Aurora made nutella filled croissants. There was absolutely nothing to be sad about but then I got to the bus stop and there was a man sitting there also waiting. Which means I could not sing obnoxiously to myself! The impertinence of it all!!
So I waited in silence, bussed to UVic in silence, waited again in silence because there was this very intimate couple displaying their affection and though I thought about going over and telling them that I was going to just stand a few feet away from them and belt Adele I did not think they would handle it well. And then this drunk guy stood in the middle of the bus loop screaming "Cotton eye Joe!" Who does that!?
So I bussed home in silence, and walked to my house in silence and I thought to myself of all the homework that must be done and I went to bed. It was only just past midnight.
I awoke this morning and I thought that perhaps life would be better...BUT I WAS WRONG!!
I commenced my laundry, there was much of it to do and as I waited for the loads I wrote my opera history summary. (I still could careless about poor put upon himself Mozart.)
Around 1pm I realized my hands were shaking, this often happens when you've only had coffee and vitamins for breakfast so I decided to have some lunch which is when it happened!
I AM OUT OF TACO CHIPS!
WHAT CRUEL WORLD WOULD DENY A STUDENT FROM THEIR NACHOS! I felt like Don Giovanni being pulled into the pits of hell by a marble statue.
I attempted to watch The Sound of Music but it ended in tears.
I attempted to watch the Lizzie Bennet Diaries but then Jane started crying and I cried harder
So I figured if I was going to cry I might as well cry over The Marriage Stone BUT FANFICTION.NET WOULD NOT LOAD!
It appeared life had turned against me. I was doomed to the fate of a grade 8 girl writing poetry about her broken bleeding heart, wishing an Edward would rip open my iron womb to produce a demon child and turn my hair curly!
Then of course I remembered how much I hate Twilight and my laundry was calling. Alfred promised to bring me a pumpkin pie blizzard to soothe pain and there will always be other pairs of cowboy boots in the spring.
Maybe I'll make it to tomorrow.
Maybe.

Saturday 29 September 2012

Coffee Can Not Save You

Ola friends,
So this morning I was greeted by this image on my tumblr dash,
And I think I'm being lied to. Now you may not know me but I have one of the worst memories! I'm that person who will be pulling stuff out of my purse and throwing it around the room searching for my bus pass and I'll have forgotten that it's sitting in my bra or worse clutched in my teeth. I have long ago accepted that alzheimer's is an inevitable fate of mine. Which sucks because I really like writing and there is nothing more frustrating than when you have a fantastic idea or an awesome line you want to use in a story and when you finally get to the part where it fits in you can't remember it. No matter how hard I try I ALWAYS forget awesome things, or where I'm supposed to be, or what I have to do that day and what I should wear so my feet don't have to suffer.
First year for example I had scene shop hours but I was all focused on being cute and I wore open toed high heels which is a huge no no in the shop. So I had to go into costume and get a pair  of shoes (they were super nice pumas) and some grungy old socks from the costume teacher who has never liked me. Of course she gave me an ear full for being irresponsible. Rude.
Anyways, I don't even know what a heart disease is anymore all I know is that I'm probably going to die of a heart attack before or at the age of 30 so there's really no worry. Coffee will not be saving my life.
And even if I do die sooner rather than later I can still live in complete content knowing I took pole dance lessons before and I'm still super awesome!
Anyways, I have to go to school and count out all the concession inventory...sadly it's also the 50th anniversary of UVic and there's supposed to be all these tours in the theatre but my friend is the only person who volunteered because no one cares and she was basically forced into it. Which means I have to hide from the marketing teacher while we're there because she's going to be impossible and try to force us into working. Fat chance lady! I want free things!!

Wednesday 26 September 2012

I Do Nat Like You Because You Are Nat French

2 Posts in 1 day? oh you lucky readers.
I would just like to take a second to complain about the french!
Because they complain so much about us I think we need to turn this around just for 1 post.
So I'm taking this french connections class which is all fine and dandy, sometimes I think to myself "what are the french up to?" but usually those thoughts disappear swiftly because I have better things to do then worry about some crazies.  And originally the class seemed really interesting...and then we watched a video about Quebec in the 1950's and 60's, all the the problems with Duplessis and the beginning of seperatist thinking.
I very much wanted to take a nap the entire time I could care less. Unfortunately now we're having a test on the subject so I have spent the last hour wikipedia-ing old Quebec premiers to figure what the heck went down between priests in the education system and the FLQ (apparently a lot that I never cared to know about). Also, I'm pretty sure I learned this all in Science Humaine 10 and felt no need to care about it then either.
THERE'S JUST SO MUCH FRENCH!
I'm also in an opera history class which of course if you're going to study opera the french are all over that art form so we need to learn about them.
All was going swimmingly, we were learning about all the italians and how much they loved opera and thought "HEY! Let's help out the french."
To which the french responded "GTFO YOU ARE NOT FRENCH!"
Ok maybe not like that exactly but seriously, I wish I had the book here to quote it. It pretty much said that this italian woman married a french guy and thought hey you could all benefit from some opera and they were like "qu'est que c'est opera?" and she was like "oh it's this beautiful art form from Ita-" "NON!" because it wasn't french. They're all about preserving their culture those french which is why I find chiac and their random uses of english words hilarious! Louis the 14th or 16th didn't help either. Parading around calling himself the Sun King. A little full of yourself there Lou.
Sigh les francais.

Why Workshop When I Could Gargle Bleach

GOOD CITIZENS OF BLOGGER WHOM I HOPE ARE LITERATE!
Of course I have no right to ask for literate readers since I have some really dreadful grammer and no idea about the ways of punctuation. (I was a french immersion kid I have an excuse)
SO I'm in this writing class and we had the option to workshop our first assignments and I thought why not I can do that. The only thing we had to be sure of was that we weren't rude in our criticisms of the other works. I thought "That's fine, I can water it down and heck maybe they'll be well written."
I ASKED FOR TOO MUCH! I received 3 totally lame, pointless stories. It was very hard to be polite in my responses but I think I faked it well enough pointing out the areas I thought needed work and the one image in each I thought was fanatastic I gave a lot of praise to....I hope that tricked them.
ALL I got in return though for my piece though was that they didn't understand the word "tottled" and yea, it's not a word but people use it! So your freaking word document is telling you it's not a word! The sentence was "The child tottled down the rocky shore" JUST TRY! TRY WITH ME NOW!! Imagine a small child of about 5 or 6 walking down a rocky shore by themselves very early in the morning!
Well it made perfect sense to me but SIGH! and then this girl! I don't know what rock she's been living under that she's never heard of a fjord! "I'm not sure fjord is a  word you might have just made a spelling mistake".....excuse you! We live in BC! ON THE WESTCOAST! How do you not know what a fjord is!!!!!!!!!! I. DON'T. KNOW! siiiiigh people. We should definitely be worried for the books that will be published by my writing class in the future because they will be simple as blinking. Made up of 4 word sentences "The child walked home. She wanted some cheerios. She ate the cheerios. She was very happy."
THIS IS OUR FUTURE! murmeeruurue!
Maybe I'll write an actual post later but right now I have to figure out on my own what to change about my assignment.
Tootles!

Tuesday 25 September 2012

You Suck Mozart!

Dear oh dear Bloggy Readers!
It has been 4 days since I last posted! DISGRACEFUL! You expect better from me and I will provide! Perhaps I will even write 2 posts tonight considering I actually think of something to tell you.
I mean yeah I've been doing things but I honestly can never remember just what I've been doing. I mean I had all weekend! WHERE WAS I!? I don't even know. I'm sure if I thought about it long enough I'd remember but let's just stop you guy and honestly I think we need to take a second for Mozart.
So I'm in this opera history class which is all fine and jolly minus the fact that we never watch historically accurate stagings of the operas they're always really awful 1920-30's modernizations which just make me think of Guys and Dolls. It was an alright musical but they don't make very good operas.
And every week we have to take notes on a chapter then write a chapter summary....seems simple right? Right! and the chapters are only like 20-35 pages so it should be fine. But I'm telling you this book needs more pictures! Take up some of that word space! Today's notes consisted of 2 pages on composer Haydn and his nice cushy life in a castle working for some guy in the middle of no where and then 16 PAGES OF MOZART!!! 16!!
Who told Mozart he was that important!?! I certainly didn't! and I mean really! The guy was almost a complete failure in his time because he was a rude, arrogant little prick to all his superiors. His poor life of suffering was brought on himself.
Yeah he was a genius but no one wants a rude genius living under their roof insulting all their servants and musicians. And then of course he insulted the french when he was 16, saying they had no taste. Don't tell the french they have no taste! They're probably the most hyper-sensitive bunch of ninnies you'll meet! But they'll pay you well if they think you're worth it.
So poor pathetic Mozart suffered for 30 years of his 35 year long life and it was allllllllll his fault! But my hands have to suffer for it as they little brat is apparently super important to the Enlightenment Era......right.
Biased book is biased.
On a more positive note! I am almost done with all of Alfred's really nasty muffins. They taste much better cold and don't smell as much.
Maybe write you later.
Tootles

Friday 21 September 2012

Big Boys Don't Bake (Sexism isn't Sexism when it's Truth)

Good Evening dear bloggers,
I know I've already posted once tonight but I couldn't chance not remembering this tomorrow.
So we all know my good friend Alfred who I was fighting with over the summer but are now back to being the Dreadful Duo (we don't actually call ourselves that)
Yes well Alfred comes over after school and I'm in the middle of making banana bread cause it's delicious and my eggs were going to go bad in a few days so i thought I should use them up. Now I tend to bake a lot, especially when I'm not in the mood to do my writing homework which is whenever I sit down and am not outside, and Alfed always wants to help but everything he bakes is awful, lumpy or inedible. So of course he asks to help and I saw no I really want my banana bread to taste good and he can't bake. To which for reasons unbeknownst to me he deemed was a sexist comment, it's not he's just being stupid, so I told him he could bake some blueberry muffins once the bread was done and I could work on my homework.
A brilliant idea except for the fact that Alfred needs constant supervision in the kitchen.
So the silly thing bakes these muffins and he brings one to me and true enough it looks like a muffin which is a good start but it SMELLS! It smelt strongly of baked eggs! Which I find repulsive and did not want to try it but he insisted it tasted fine. Well thank goodness for the blueberried because any just muffin part tasted kind of like quiche to tell you the truth and I don't really like quiche unless it's got spinach and onions in it.
Naturally he's offended that I find it so disgusting and complains that he did everything right so I ask "did you add sugar?" "yes!" he grumbles crossing his arms like the small child he is. "Did you add vanilla?" "....no..." HOW DO YOU FORGET VANILLA IN A MUFFIN! It was on the instructions! The instructions had even been edited by a previous owner of the book to up the amount of vanilla!!
Just so gross.
So basically he proved me right and I'm not letting him waste anymore of my flour on his terrible baking. And I know he's going to 'forget' them here so tomorrow I'm going to be throwing out a dozen quiche muffins!
Sigh Boys
Night darlings

ENCOUNTERING EXS

WELL HELLO BLOGLAND!!
I was going to recount a humourous tale of an albertan bus driver and his ideas of how Victoria should deal with the deer problem but something much more hilarious happened just under and hour ago and I feel I should share it!
One because it makes me feel awesome, which just adds to the empowerment boost I received from fireman spins in pole dancing last night. Two because it just shows who's going to kick the ex-relationship-awkward-encounters this year!! FYI: It's gunna be me HOLLA!
So there I was walking from the Phoenix to the library because I have about 4 hours before I have to usher. I had just bought some ballet shoes downtown with Sailor Scout friend, we'll call her Aurora since that's her favorite Disney princess, and she had gone off to costume. So I commenced my walk, listening of course to Carmen! Just feeling all sorts of awesome when I saw HIM!
(For those of you who don't know, over the summer the parents of my least favorite ex came into my work and ruined my day by telling me he'd be coming to UVic, my school not his. Needless to say it is not a big school and I saw him first day of classes when he was being musically oriented but I quickly avoided that herd of people and I'm pretty sure he was none the wiser. I haven't seen him much since UNTIL THIS MORNING!)
So this kid is walking towards me, and I could tell because he's been wearing the same clothes for 4 years. I had a moment when he was looking at a book and I thought should I just turn around and walk a different route and I was like HELL NO! THIS IS MY SCHOOL! So I continued walking, of course I allowed him the chance to run or not as he had not seen me yet so I answered Aurora's text keeping hm in my peripheral.
THIS BOY!! I kid you not! STOPPED! PIVOTED and made a half stumbling HOP! Behind a bush and quickly skipped around into the parking lot where he thought I wouldn't see him! GOOD LORD! I mean let's not lie, I'm a terror but I gave him a chance. I nearly laughed, I nearly called out a hello but I figured no, he made a valient effort of avoiding me I'll just let him believe I didn't see it. And then I preceeded to smirk and laugh to myself all the way to the library!
Yes my friends, it has been a good day and it's only just noon! Perhaps I will bake tonight, perhaps Alfred and I will go to the beach but right now nothings going to ruin my awesomness!!
All the biglipped kisses!
Mama Sass!!

Wednesday 19 September 2012

LOVE! Huh? WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

Well helloooo there bloggy followers!
I know! What a dreadfully misleading title for this blog entry, because in all honesty when I sat down 5 seconds ago to write you a glorious morning entry love was not going to be apart of it! I was going to write about how splendid fresh coffee is or how much work it is to make a simple bacon and avacado sandwich early in the morning! But alas we are now going to read my thoughts on love, nothing too serious just random thoughts that come up as I type.
Let us start with my love for coffee. Coffee and I have been stuck in a love/hate, on/off again relationship since I was about 14. A ridiculous age to become addicted at the time but I'm sure it's perfectly normal to see children under 10 drinking coffee in sippy cups outside their elementry school classrooms now a day. Which brings me to another thing! I LOVE SIPPY CUPS!! I want one sooo much so you know, my birthday's in Februrary if you want to send one over to Victoria. Until I decide to buy my own sippy cup however I must make do with those powerade bottles with the little plastic anti-spill lids...basically the same thing but for grown ups.
So I'm in an opera history class (can't get more romantic than an opera!) and we had to listen to the first ever opera which of course was Orfeo (the story of Orpheus being a pompous musician and condemning his wife Euridice to stay in Hell because he couldn't keep his eyes to the front) Now imagine with me my minions that you are sitting in a Catholic church in the 1600s watching the priest do his priestly duties and then being called upon to sing. You stand with your copies of hymns and begin to drone....for 6 hours! It's horrendous! No variation, the nymph chorus repeats like 10 times! Like the freaking Hallelujah chorus on repeat! I wanted to rip my ears off BUT! I finished it! Apollo comes down and takes Orpheus off to heaven, cause you know he totally deserves to be immortal and worshipped...freaking greek tragedies...The shepherds sing a song of blessing
AND NOW I CAN LISTEN TO CARMEN!! (technically we're onto Rinaldo) If you know the opera of gypsy Carmen, who's kind of a whore and leads men on and ends up getting her lover killed, then I think it's safe to say young Cecilly was easily influenced by that one production in her youth! I love Carmen; the music, the costumes, the matadors are all perfect!! Imagine your entrance on a sea of men who adore you as you sing L'Amour est un Oiseau Rebelle! Perfection at it's finest but enough of my whorish tendencies/desires.
My bff, we'll call him Alfred, is insisting it's time to get to school!
I'm going to be a gypsy whore in Spain!
Peace out Canada it's been a slice.

Tuesday 18 September 2012

Timely Surprises

Well good morning bloggy followers,
If you read my post from the other day you'll know I've been feeling rather down about myself because of the words of others. (Not that you should ever let other's get you down but sometimes it's hard.)
Life's also been sucking because one of my best friends and I have been on the outs since around May and it only got worse when I came back in September. It was really a matter of trust that was lacking and I thought for sure that he was done with all the rollercoasters of a drama kid's life.
Sadly nothing much helped to lift my mood; not Lizzie Bennet Vlogs, not singing obnoxiously loud in public (mostly because I was singing O Holy Night and every depressing Glee song recorded), not even practicing my pole moves at the bus stop could get me out of my funk!
But then last night I had my first ballet lesson of this term! Let's get real bloggers, I'm a fatty fo sho there's no way around it and grace is definitely not in my bodies vocabulary but GOSH DARN IT IT WILL BE!! Sure I was stiff as a post! Sure I can't lift my legs out at a 90 degree angle! I can hardly balance without a bar because my foot arches are so bad! But it was wonderful! The girls with years of experience didn't judge (at least not loudly. Miss dancing since I was 5 admitted she thought my flapping arm motions were amusing which true enough they were cause I had no idea what to do with them.)
Needless to say I felt impowered! I felt beautiful even though I was sweaty and my feet hurt!
Of course then I came home and watched the Glee Project which is just a total put down! Not hating on kids with real life troubles and disabilities but is it fair that I would never get onto the show because Ryan Murphy loves the troubled youth, NO I DID NOT THINK SO!
So I'm watching and I'm mad that Aylin is still around and my friend sends me a message on facebook (because he rides bikes and constantly drops his phones out of his back pocket when he's riding.) Just a simple "where are you?" pft well it was like 10pm, I'm lying around the house sobbing about the Glee Project finalists, honestly where else would I be!
So I finish up my tears, Blake won even though Charlie tried to fight for gf Aylin and I'm moseying to bed when my door bell rings....
No one rings my door bell!
My instant thought is "tonight is the night I die!" then I remember that I'm not wearing pants because readers, those of you who know me will know, I detest pants! Too restricting! So I run to find a pair of pants and pitter patter my way through the dark garage to the door!
Well, you guessed it! BFF Who Will Not Be Named was standing on my door mat!
We talked for a seriously long amount of time, I cried but what else is new! We worked out what the problems between us were and I think, FINGERS CROSSED, I think everything's going to be ok!
I'm so happy darlings! So happy you have no idea! I can only hope that today is going to continue being good to me! I just want to be happy for 24 hours,  not a lot to ask right?
TTYL my darlings!

Sunday 16 September 2012

Too Much Free Time Breeds Insecurity and Procrastination

Well hello my fellow bloggity bloggers or bloggity followers,
So I had a fantastic night with a ton of fantastic people and some sketchy people who's presence I found questionable. Yes, indeed last night was the Annual Phoenix First Year Party. The first real Phoenix, the name of the theatre of the school I attend, party where everyone comes together and drinks tons of alcohol and are just all around happy.
BOY was it ever a dramatic event! My friend Allyson and I began drinking around 2pm just so we would be good and drunk by the time the party started (at 8pm) but as we were drinking we had this brilliant idea! To make a welcome video to the first years and so we did. It was a fantastic sober idea but became more and more difficult as we became more and more drunk.
Watch here!
Needless to say it was a fantastic hit and all the first years who did not know and love me before certainly do now and those who did now worship me. It is odd being so highly adored by first years who know nothing about you, telling you you'll go on to do great things when you are next to nothing in the program. And this is partially where the insecurities come in.

So the other day I auditioned for a friends show and I got a call back. Even if I don't get cast just getting a call back is a great feeling after being shut down 2 years in a row by the acting specialisation. It shows you that even if these old busybodies don't think you have a future there are people out there that still believe in you and are willing to give you a chance.
Of course once I got to the call back and saw what my competition was I had a pretty good idea who the cast was, the director told us he had a good idea of the cast already and I was pretty sure I didn't fit the bill but it's the thought that counts! Even though he knew he wasn't going to cast me he gave time to let me read in the rare case that I might do something to change his mind! To me that's good directing. But where things went wrong was he told everyone he was going to cast that they had got the part which leads to inflated egos.
So last night we're all partying hard and the girl who got the part comes up to me, she may read this one day who knows I don't really care. She says "I just want you to know that I got the part," which in itself I found kind of rude but I told her I figured she would and congratulations she'll surely do a good job. To which she said, "you're not mad?" Why would I be mad, it's not like my life is over, it's not a big deal and yes, true enough she will probably do the role better than I would.
Clearly my easy acceptance was not what she wanted, apparently I was supposed to throw a fit so she says, "yeah it was really just between me and *insert name*."
Like REALLY!? How freaking rude, maybe it was just her being super drunk but I was really offended by that. I felt like she was telling me I didn't deserve it, I'm not as talented as I think I am which you know lately I don't feel that talented. I'm not like some of the actors in the program who think they're the tops and their peers should kiss their feet. I don't brag about whatever abilities I have and the only time that I acknowledge I am a good singer is if someone else brings it up first and puts me in the awkward situation.
But anyways in the moment I was too drunk to care, making new friends and telling first years the secrets of the world but now I'm home alone. I should be writing my opera summary, I should be reading the poems for writing tomorrow morning, there are TONS of things I SHOULD be doing but I'm not because I feel shitty. So I cleaned my house and I'm watching the glee project so I can be inspired by kids with shittier lives than me who can push through anything and I'll wait for Over The Rainbow to air tonight but it's probably not going to help.
I'll probably continue to feel like I suck for the next week because once again "It may have escaped [my] notice, but life isn't fair." Just a little quote from Snape.
TTFN LOVELIES

Friday 14 September 2012

Woe is the Life of a Student

Dear world,
Why is life so cruel? Once upon a time I believed in Karma but unless all the wrong doings in your past life carry over into your reincarnation then I don't believe I merit all the amount of suck that gets thrust upon me!
Now I won't go into long winded detail about the tragedies of my foresakeness I'll just tell you about yesterday cause it's much more concise and actually ends decently.
So as a lowly student, in Theatre no less, I have little funds to get me through the year. Though I work all summer and save save save it is very rare that you come across a student who has independently saved the required 10, 000$ or more it takes to pay for tuition, books, rent and most importantly but somehow always last on the list FOOD!
Anyways, UVic offers students an easier way to make money then going out into the town and finding a job with no compromises. This glorious program is called work study. Only it's not that glorious, unless you're in the theatre department there's all these other requirements that go into getting a job. Now, everyone has to go get evaluated to see how many hours they're allowed to work. I got 267 out of a possible 340 because I am just that sad. A friend of mine however was in TOO MUCH financial need and the work study people said they could not help her because there was no way she would be able to pay for first term let alone be alive long enough to make it to second. But once again I am off topic.
So I got my hours, handed them into the box office where I had hoped to be employed but alas it was for naught! A first year was hired in my place and all the other spots were filled by last years workers leaving me with the only options of "taking care of" one of the returning box office workers....or applying to other work study positions. (Plotting murder is actually a lot of work) So off I went to the internet to find other jobs....jobs that require cover letters...qualifications like superb video editing skills, working with the elderly, having good grammar! COME ON! I was in french immersion, if you want good french grammar you've got it! But I've no skill when it comes to english, you can probably tell from reading this.
Needless to say, I was down trodden by the end of my long school day, complete with the depressing history of Quebec wanting to peace it from Canada. I thought the day would continue to suck.....
BUT THEN I JOINED A POLE DANCING CLASS!!!! This is where I'm meant to be! I'm not about to sell my body but give me a pole and let me dance and maybe the world won't be so bad!!
Until next time darlings.

Wednesday 12 September 2012

Welcome

Welcome friends or others,

This is a blog and you may be experiencing it for the first time. I too am new to this strange world of "blogging" but I will try my best to keep you entertained. If you are not entertained then you may leave at any given time I will probably be none the wiser.
If you came to me expecting some good stories then I can promise you I will try my hardest to be funny. Alas, there are times in my life when I choose not to be funny. During these times I am may range from hystrerical, delusional, furious or one giant puddle of my own salty tears.
Yes dear readers, I cry an abnoraml amount but there is little I can do to stop that. Though many take great delight in my strange sadness I suppose the ability to find joy in others's suffering is something you are born with.
This all being said, welcome to my blog.
Here is a picture of a giant calculator from Staples.