If you read my post from the other day you'll know I've been feeling rather down about myself because of the words of others. (Not that you should ever let other's get you down but sometimes it's hard.)
Life's also been sucking because one of my best friends and I have been on the outs since around May and it only got worse when I came back in September. It was really a matter of trust that was lacking and I thought for sure that he was done with all the rollercoasters of a drama kid's life.
Sadly nothing much helped to lift my mood; not Lizzie Bennet Vlogs, not singing obnoxiously loud in public (mostly because I was singing O Holy Night and every depressing Glee song recorded), not even practicing my pole moves at the bus stop could get me out of my funk!
But then last night I had my first ballet lesson of this term! Let's get real bloggers, I'm a fatty fo sho there's no way around it and grace is definitely not in my bodies vocabulary but GOSH DARN IT IT WILL BE!! Sure I was stiff as a post! Sure I can't lift my legs out at a 90 degree angle! I can hardly balance without a bar because my foot arches are so bad! But it was wonderful! The girls with years of experience didn't judge (at least not loudly. Miss dancing since I was 5 admitted she thought my flapping arm motions were amusing which true enough they were cause I had no idea what to do with them.)
Needless to say I felt impowered! I felt beautiful even though I was sweaty and my feet hurt!
Of course then I came home and watched the Glee Project which is just a total put down! Not hating on kids with real life troubles and disabilities but is it fair that I would never get onto the show because Ryan Murphy loves the troubled youth, NO I DID NOT THINK SO!
So I'm watching and I'm mad that Aylin is still around and my friend sends me a message on facebook (because he rides bikes and constantly drops his phones out of his back pocket when he's riding.) Just a simple "where are you?" pft well it was like 10pm, I'm lying around the house sobbing about the Glee Project finalists, honestly where else would I be!
So I finish up my tears, Blake won even though Charlie tried to fight for gf Aylin and I'm moseying to bed when my door bell rings....
No one rings my door bell!
My instant thought is "tonight is the night I die!" then I remember that I'm not wearing pants because readers, those of you who know me will know, I detest pants! Too restricting! So I run to find a pair of pants and pitter patter my way through the dark garage to the door!
Well, you guessed it! BFF Who Will Not Be Named was standing on my door mat!
We talked for a seriously long amount of time, I cried but what else is new! We worked out what the problems between us were and I think, FINGERS CROSSED, I think everything's going to be ok!
I'm so happy darlings! So happy you have no idea! I can only hope that today is going to continue being good to me! I just want to be happy for 24 hours, not a lot to ask right?
TTYL my darlings!
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