The Universe Has It's Own Plans

Oh Hey,
So are you ever, you know, moseying about in your own life, worrying about your own things but not really having any huge life altering crisis to deal with and so are actually fine when you're stressing the small things.
Yeah well that's been me for like the past 5-6 years.
No one's died, I haven't been robbed or anything.
Now and then I get into a friendship fight or something like Priscilla and I usually stop being friends from December-March (not this year though this year the friendship is strong).
Sometimes I have to remove friends entirely (it's only happened twice so it's not a huge thing)
Mostly I just walk around worrying about others who's lives are way more messed up than mine and debating on whether to watch The OC or Project Runway. To do homework or clean the house.
Trivial things.
But suddenly out of no where it's like the universe remembered I was over here and they were like "hmmm she's had it pretty easy for some time now...let's shake it up"
And like even then my issue is still a trivial issue it's just something I'm totally out of my element in and haven't had to deal with since like high school.
(still debating on whether or not to say what the issue is so I'll keep rambling)
So everyone's got their theories on how life works, who controls the universe, is it God/Fate/Spagetti and I have no idea if any or all of those things are correct. Sometimes I think people just worr about their destiny so much they force themselves onto one path.
I'm starting to believe it's more like Sims, I used to think it was like board games but I feel they've upgraded.
There's like 20 people just on the other side of the sky and they've created these towns and all the people inside them and now and then they get bored and they take their favorite characters to new places and build whole new towns.
Like the theory that the world stops when you're not in it, people kind of just power down. We go on autopilot when our maker person goes off to play in another world. Which apparently my maker has been gone for about 5 years and has just remembered us over here and was like "man, Cecilly seems so peaceful....let's fuck her up for a bit!"
Well it's working
(I'm not going to tell you)
What I will tell you is I have become obsessed with something. Something that I can not have, something that I don't even particularly like but I find the concept interesting enough that I want to learn more about it. Which I then realize I am doing and I go "no no Cecilly be reasonable! Pull yourself together! You are an adult!"
And I'm fine for about an hour before my mind wanders back to it.
And the Universe is like ahahaha and they start to put up things that remind me of it all around. At school, on the bus. I can be not thinking about it and something will pop up that reminds me. Or I will be thinking of it and it will appear right in front of me.
I would like to think I've acheived a special summoning power but that's doubtful. Instead I'm just going crazy.
It's like when you have a Sims love triangle and the user keeps trying to get the two not together to interact and the singleton starts falling more and more in love and the couple one is like omg no go away.
I don't know if Sims can kill themselves (i'm not going to kill myself keep reading) but the user is definitely on it's way to telling me to go swimming and then will remove all the ladders and then I will just drown in this!
It's really not fair
And it's trivial which makes it all the worst I think....
Oh well,
It's Christmas....worse comes to worse I'll start reading Fanfiction again....

Confessions of a Fan Fiction Addict

Hi my name is Cecilly and I am addicted to fanfiction.
It all started a little over a year ago when my friend introduced me to Severus/Hermione fanfiction from Harry Potter. I quickly became obsessed....mostly because I love Snape and Alan Rickman so much. I vowed to myself that it would never go beyond that....but it has. I am ashamed to admit that I have begun to read and support the Snarry ship! (Snape/Harry)
I know! It's so wrong of me! Snape loved his mother, he has his mother's eyes! (not that I support Lily in anyway, I think she was a terrible human being and an even worse friend...but I'm not going to get into an argument with the Jily, Snily shippers of the world)
At first I didn't understand, how could they be together with this prior connection and I couldn't get behind the smut. (I'm not homophobic I just can't fit my mind into the equations of gay sex) but then I found the Marriage Stone! And for those of you who know it are sitting at their computers raising their eyes and crying out for the whereabouts of Josephine Darcy who disappeared years ago in the middle of the most perfect, epic Snarry fic ever written! And we know she had every intention of continuing. She says in the last chapter (chapter 77) that she'll update very soon that she is free from whatever relative visiting function she had been pulled away by....and then nothing....OH THE PAIN AND CRUELTY!!!
Clearly I should have started my expectations much lower because nothing meets its standards....I don't even really read Snarry because there's just nothing very good out there. I want romance and wooing! Which is why I stick to Snamoine but fanfiction has ruined my life.
I see it everywhere! I SHIP REGULAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I DREAM OF BUILDING A FLEET OF COUPLES AND SETTING THEM A SAIL ON THE HIGH HOLY WATERS! This summer I finally cried at Boromir's death in Lord of the Rings because I learnt to ship everyone in the fellowship!
I AM RUINED!! So ruined!!
And even though I think real life sucks and people suck and relationships are a waste of time...I'm contemplating going on a date?
What is wrong with me?
Am I doing it just because people don't think I could? NEWS FLASH! I'm a freaking awesome girlfriend. I can do everything!
We're gonna do all the things all the couples like to do.
We're gonna go to a movie, we're gonna have some dinner, take a walk, look at the moonlight, Anything you want (but baby I got a question...)
No I don't that's just Danko Jones creeping into my head. Remember that song? CLASSIC!

Anyways! For what good reason would I have to have a boyfriend! I already have Alfred! ...He'd probably be super mad at me for writing about this and not telling him... besides he's riding with his friends to Tofino, crazy person....sometimes I need better friends? Yeah the ones I have are pretty good for specific occasions but they're not very good with feed back...
Maybe I just need to sing about it...or crawl up in a ball and cry about it...or watch Pride and Prejudice again....or insult people! That usually makes me feel better.
I was just thinking today about how we need a really good plague to come along and wipe out some of the stupid people! I have a pretty sweet immune system so I think I could hold out until they've found a cure...or it just goes away...but I'm worried that 21st century plagues are just rage viruses and I am NOT dealing with freaking zombies! Yup watch Joss Whedon being awesome and clarifying why I was so afraid of Romney winning president.

Whatever the Obama's are awesome.

I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. So a summary of what has been discussed here today:

1. Yes I think I should have the right to evaluate each human's intelligence and determine if they should have the privilege of living in a 1st, 2nd or 3rd world country with the stupidest humans earning a special category of "On the Moon far away from me and the rest of society so they can't infect us with their stupidity"
2. Yes I'm glad that Obama won and that Michelle can continue to be a good role model to ladies, but especially the black ones, so that they no longer have to look to Oprah and her soul OWNing tv shows for guidance.
3. Yes I think relationships are a stupid waste of time but
4. No I have not decided whether or not I should go on a date from this post...computer screens don't give very good feed back...maybe a combo of ask.com and tumblr will help me sort through this dilemma.
5. Yes fan fiction is a thing if you didn't know that already, most of your friends are probably closet readers, some may even read 50 Shades of Grey which is Twilight fanfiction that renamed the characters and became mommy porn. Though I only limit myself to Harry Potter pairings someone one day might write something almost as deserving as my HP love and I will concede to ship them as well. 
6. No I am not at all adverse to becoming a old lady with nothing but my fanfiction to keep me alive. At least it's not cats, I will save money on cat food and won't die of a hair ball that slowly develops in my esophagus over years because my cats shed so much. (SO THERE YOU CRAZY OLD CAT LADIES GET A REAL OBSESSION!)

Alright 6 is too many numbers. I'm stopping. I'm going to bed. I think this is all part of the regular mid-November reading break crisis that overwhelms me every year...not aided by the fact that I have to see the fine arts counselor tomorrow who will most likely tell me I'm no where near graduation and I suck at life...

JOYS!

So I'll just spiral back down into the pit of despair and fan fiction which is an excellent absorber of pathetic spirits and self doubts.

Oh well!

Good night world