Oh Hey,
So are you ever, you know, moseying about in your own life, worrying about your own things but not really having any huge life altering crisis to deal with and so are actually fine when you're stressing the small things.
Yeah well that's been me for like the past 5-6 years.
No one's died, I haven't been robbed or anything.
Now and then I get into a friendship fight or something like Priscilla and I usually stop being friends from December-March (not this year though this year the friendship is strong).
Sometimes I have to remove friends entirely (it's only happened twice so it's not a huge thing)
Mostly I just walk around worrying about others who's lives are way more messed up than mine and debating on whether to watch The OC or Project Runway. To do homework or clean the house.
Trivial things.
But suddenly out of no where it's like the universe remembered I was over here and they were like "hmmm she's had it pretty easy for some time now...let's shake it up"
And like even then my issue is still a trivial issue it's just something I'm totally out of my element in and haven't had to deal with since like high school.
(still debating on whether or not to say what the issue is so I'll keep rambling)
So everyone's got their theories on how life works, who controls the universe, is it God/Fate/Spagetti and I have no idea if any or all of those things are correct. Sometimes I think people just worr about their destiny so much they force themselves onto one path.
I'm starting to believe it's more like Sims, I used to think it was like board games but I feel they've upgraded.
There's like 20 people just on the other side of the sky and they've created these towns and all the people inside them and now and then they get bored and they take their favorite characters to new places and build whole new towns.
Like the theory that the world stops when you're not in it, people kind of just power down. We go on autopilot when our maker person goes off to play in another world. Which apparently my maker has been gone for about 5 years and has just remembered us over here and was like "man, Cecilly seems so peaceful....let's fuck her up for a bit!"
Well it's working
(I'm not going to tell you)
What I will tell you is I have become obsessed with something. Something that I can not have, something that I don't even particularly like but I find the concept interesting enough that I want to learn more about it. Which I then realize I am doing and I go "no no Cecilly be reasonable! Pull yourself together! You are an adult!"
And I'm fine for about an hour before my mind wanders back to it.
And the Universe is like ahahaha and they start to put up things that remind me of it all around. At school, on the bus. I can be not thinking about it and something will pop up that reminds me. Or I will be thinking of it and it will appear right in front of me.
I would like to think I've acheived a special summoning power but that's doubtful. Instead I'm just going crazy.
It's like when you have a Sims love triangle and the user keeps trying to get the two not together to interact and the singleton starts falling more and more in love and the couple one is like omg no go away.
I don't know if Sims can kill themselves (i'm not going to kill myself keep reading) but the user is definitely on it's way to telling me to go swimming and then will remove all the ladders and then I will just drown in this!
It's really not fair
And it's trivial which makes it all the worst I think....
Oh well,
It's Christmas....worse comes to worse I'll start reading Fanfiction again....
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