We'll find out the out come of other things soon and we'll go from there...
But tonight...
The first family get together of the Christmas Season....
My aunt's birthday which is apparently a tradition to order a ridiculous amount of chinese food and talk about 100 different subjects in 3 different groups at the same time...
It's noisy, it's weird, everyone feels bloated and grandma never listens when she's told not to order dinner for 30 people as we only get 15 out on a good day!
my grandparents had 5 children, 4 have spouses, all together they have 11 grandchildren, 2 are married, 4 maybe 5 (I never know about one of my cousins I don't even know where he is most of the time) have significant others, 1 great-grand child...a baby that can't eat chinese food.
WERE we to add all these people up not including the baby (you don't count until you make it to a year old) that would be a possible 28 or 29 (depending on the variable cousin) people to feed....almost 30 but that many people NEVER comes!
my one uncle and aunt live in Kamloops they're not coming down for every birth, birthday and funeral. We don't know where their son is most of the time. Their daughter makes it to about every other event...I guess this was an other.
My one cousin just got married over the summer and apparently that gives him an excused card from everything!
My sister can't be bothered to come to anything and she claims to be a vegetarian so she can't eat chinese food...though we all know she does when we're not looking...
My father doesn't come unless it's a big event or it's someone he actually likes being celebrated
And I usually have the safe excuse of being in Victoria.....oh but not today....
Today, and I think we can guess where this is going as per usual with family gatherings and what not what my posts generally end up being about....one of those cousins with a significant other took a place in the rarely used category of ENGAGED COUSINS!
Nooooo don't cheer shhh shh stop that clapping it's not good!
Now this cousin....he's very strange... probably the strangest of the bunch and they're all a little bit weird
(maybe I should mention that this is all the white side of my family. I expect weird and unsettling from the blackside...they're all Caribbean and there's about 1000 of them.
No this cousin is strange...and the girl he's somehow persuaded to marry him seems to be completely normal. Insanely rich! but other than that....normal...
Why is she marrying my weird cousin you ask?
Lord I don't know. She must not be as normal as I think....or what is more likely she's surrounded by the mantra...
Yes she's falling for it! she's sad and lonely and she's settling which is crazy I mean she's rich and has a beautiful house and a hilarious 90 something year old grandmother whom for some reason everyone feels the need to yell at when they're communicating but the woman held a conversation with me across the living room and neither of us were shouting!
She's got hearing aids let her be!
Anyways so the announcement was made and of course all the old people cheered and clapped and bustled around to get champagne glasses and sparkling juice (because my family's classy like that...no one's ever been too drunk to function at a function) All the married people made jokes and started planning the dresses and flowers and ridiculous stuff.
But if you watched closely. You could see the shifty, who's next eyes.
The cousin just recently separated avoided everyone,
The two destined spinsters prepared to live vicariously through the fiances
The only not wed couple looked anywhere but at each other and settled for washing dishes and passing juice.
One aunt asked where IS your sister and her boyfriend, he's always so nice to have at these events?
"She's at work I think"
"Oh that's too bad. Well what about you? Have you found a boy in Victoria yet?"
TARGET HIT!
Yes, once again, I become the distraction from all the more likely bachelors and bachelorettes in the room. I mean they're not even that old yet! they have plenty of time to settle down! but my sister and I are the last strands of the generation, tie us up and off with someone and we can move onto worrying about the new generation and things like baby clothes and knitted booties and none sense!
I'm sitting here trying not to explode from the incredible amounts of chinese food I've just ingested. I don't need heart burn for my failures in the eyes of tradition as well!
Hell if it's such a problem just set me up in a marriage that I don't have to actually be available for. We can reconvene at family events!
How about that!!
....my life...why doesn't it make sense...
I willl now crawl into bed, fight with my sheets for a while because they're really a nuisance...and hope the snow falling outside doesn't stick...
goodnight.
No comments:
Post a Comment