Sooooo, I've said this a few times.....but there are days where I honestly feel like people are trying to kill me with their relationships.
For prior beliefs on crazies in relationships see:
Mamas Guide To Wooing
Get Me to a Nunnery
Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend Yet
The Burden of Being Single
And like lord knows how many others on encountering my stupid and engaged ex who runs away from me but I feel like this is a slightly newer version of this topic.
If you are going to be in a relationship and you and your partner plan to be in public situations, especially around people you know and like
PLEASE GET ALL YOU FACE SUCKING NEEDS OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE YOU EXIT INTO THE REAL WORLD!!!!
Like it's just so gross.
Not to mention awkward
When you're all chillen before class or at a bus stop and these two people have somehow melted into one blob of slurping sounds and little I love yous no I love yous!
Like, STOP!
We're not interested?
If I wanted to watch that kind of mush I'd visit a high school.
Of course if you don't want to have a conversation with your friends then don't insert yourself, especially into the middle, of a group or conversation. Now there's this circle of awkwardness around you trying to be like omg should i look, i was going to ask her about the history homework but i guess I can wait, oh god please don't get on the bus with us!
Also, there's no where in the immediate victoria area that the buses from uvic won't get you in half an hour.... I'm sure you can wait half an hour. If you've really been apart that long all day that you can't not suck face then like go hide behind a tree for a bit and suck face til your bus comes, we'll call you and let you know that it's there but please SAVE US THE AWKWARDNESS!
Likewise if we wanted to suck face with either of you we probably would have beat your significant other to asking you out or else would walk away in this instant.
It's just these little moments of ignorance that tear people apart.
And suddenly you wake up one day and that significant other is gone and all your friends have gotten new phones and you don't have the number because they dread having to spent time with two goldfish that are stuck together at the lips.
Then what will you do
Where as if you had just been polite this wouldn't be a problem.
SAVE THE FRIENDSHIPS!
Showing posts with label crazy people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy people. Show all posts
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Engaged or Married
Soo I had a really depressing realization the other day
Everyone that I've ever dated is either engaged or married...
and I'm just over here twiddling my thumbs apparently.
Now if you want to be reasonable you could go "But come now Cecilly most of them are 3-5 years older than you. That puts them at 26 years old! That's a perfectly good time to start thinking about settling down"
....Well that didn't sound any more reasonable when I typed it out.
Married at 28, sure
26?
What is wrong with you! You just left 25! You're hardly an adult let alone ready to take on adult things like marriage!!
Even worse, a lot of them were married soon after they started going to university or graduated...2 of them married french girls though one was Parisian and the other from Montreal...weird
(this post is just becoming a realizations post)
3 Of them are getting married to the girl they dated right after me...
You might remember I told you all about my stupid ex from like grade 10/11 who continuously runs away from me (read about it in Encountering Exes) Well he still runs away from me which is ridiculous in itself
But apparently him and his girlfriend recently got engaged in September which everyone else had to tell me of course because we're not facebook friends...for obvious reasons like I tried to send his soul to hell with premarital sex (he's crazy catholic and maybe I should be grateful I didn't succeed)
I find it's even more awkward when he tries to run away with his fiance in tow!
Well more comical
Because she obviously has no idea what's going on.
Like what the hell am I going to do?
Summon a demon to destroy you? (would if I could ;))
But even more recently than that on the engagement calendar!
Remember Alfred!! The most perfect thing in my life last year? The reason my dishes never get done anymore!
Well if you recall in January, he went off with this girl Katleen (not like Kaitlyn. Literally Kat- Leen the fuck)
And I stood by going yes totally reasonable. She's much better suited for you!
Well I've heard it from a mutual source that he planned to propose to her Thanksgiving Monday! On the drive home near Duncan! Like flabbergasted am I!!
Do I think they're well suited?
Yes
But like...REALLY!?
No confirmation yet on whether or not that actually happened but it's pretty believable knowing Alfred...
So that's where I stand...
Over here.
Alone!
The only ex who's relationship status I don't know I think is either dead. Or probably has like 4 kids by now because he's that kind of white trash...or probably no children and alone because he's done too many drugs and now he's impotent....Who can really say?
No regrets there at least.
But of course if I stopped wollowing for a minute I would remember all the reasons I am alone, want to be alone, choose to be alone and think damn girl, you're lucky...
But it's still depressing
I feel like that Dane Cook movie with Jessica Alba I think it is and every woman he sleeps with even that really gross really fat one gets married and all he wants is Jessica Alba but he doesn't want her to marry someone else....
Well maybe it's best they all marry someone else...
And I can continue my never ending quest to be a call girl!
AHAHA!
Peace out Blogpeeps
Everyone that I've ever dated is either engaged or married...
and I'm just over here twiddling my thumbs apparently.
Now if you want to be reasonable you could go "But come now Cecilly most of them are 3-5 years older than you. That puts them at 26 years old! That's a perfectly good time to start thinking about settling down"
....Well that didn't sound any more reasonable when I typed it out.
Married at 28, sure
26?
What is wrong with you! You just left 25! You're hardly an adult let alone ready to take on adult things like marriage!!
Even worse, a lot of them were married soon after they started going to university or graduated...2 of them married french girls though one was Parisian and the other from Montreal...weird
(this post is just becoming a realizations post)
3 Of them are getting married to the girl they dated right after me...
You might remember I told you all about my stupid ex from like grade 10/11 who continuously runs away from me (read about it in Encountering Exes) Well he still runs away from me which is ridiculous in itself
But apparently him and his girlfriend recently got engaged in September which everyone else had to tell me of course because we're not facebook friends...for obvious reasons like I tried to send his soul to hell with premarital sex (he's crazy catholic and maybe I should be grateful I didn't succeed)
I find it's even more awkward when he tries to run away with his fiance in tow!
Well more comical
Because she obviously has no idea what's going on.
Like what the hell am I going to do?
Summon a demon to destroy you? (would if I could ;))
But even more recently than that on the engagement calendar!
Remember Alfred!! The most perfect thing in my life last year? The reason my dishes never get done anymore!
Well if you recall in January, he went off with this girl Katleen (not like Kaitlyn. Literally Kat- Leen the fuck)
And I stood by going yes totally reasonable. She's much better suited for you!
Well I've heard it from a mutual source that he planned to propose to her Thanksgiving Monday! On the drive home near Duncan! Like flabbergasted am I!!
Do I think they're well suited?
Yes
But like...REALLY!?
No confirmation yet on whether or not that actually happened but it's pretty believable knowing Alfred...
So that's where I stand...
Over here.
Alone!
The only ex who's relationship status I don't know I think is either dead. Or probably has like 4 kids by now because he's that kind of white trash...or probably no children and alone because he's done too many drugs and now he's impotent....Who can really say?
No regrets there at least.
But of course if I stopped wollowing for a minute I would remember all the reasons I am alone, want to be alone, choose to be alone and think damn girl, you're lucky...
But it's still depressing
I feel like that Dane Cook movie with Jessica Alba I think it is and every woman he sleeps with even that really gross really fat one gets married and all he wants is Jessica Alba but he doesn't want her to marry someone else....
Well maybe it's best they all marry someone else...
And I can continue my never ending quest to be a call girl!
AHAHA!
Peace out Blogpeeps
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?
I have some spare time here and I'm not really sleepy so I'd like to address a little something.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.
Thursday, 21 February 2013
Lady Fails
Why hello!
Do you know what day it is?! It's Alan Rickman's birthday mothafucka! Yeah! So happy birthday to this attractive old man! (He's 67) No cares! I love him sooooo much!
THIS IS NOT OK PEOPLE! SHE IS THE ANTI-CHRIST!
Do you know what day it is?! It's Alan Rickman's birthday mothafucka! Yeah! So happy birthday to this attractive old man! (He's 67) No cares! I love him sooooo much!
So now that I've got those out of they way.
A little house cleaning before I actually start.
I said I would send you my birthday present pictures
My Gnome soap that I will probably keep nailed to my wall forever
My nipple, still nicely wrapped atop my cupcake pyramid...all of which have been eaten
And my british hat cheesecake!
Twas a good birthday!! <3
Valentine's happened (a regular waste of a day if you ask me!) But we did slave for a day auctions. Yours truly was sold for 22$ Pretty freaking good if you ask me!!!
And even better Sergei bought me so that I could make him dinner and clean his dishes and then watch Poireaux and drink wine like the old british couple we are! And of all the things he could have chosen for me to make him...he chose quesidillas...Hella easy to put together but a nightmare to flip!
But it was still delicious!
He was the proudest slave master I ever had! <3
Alright! so now that that's out of the way.
It's reading break people! I hate reading break! It's literally a week of me going crazy because I hate my homework and all my friends are busy and the ones that aren't like aren't even my friends anymore so I have no reason to hang out with them! It is soooo annoying!
Which means I have countless hours to scroll tumblr instead of doing homework which means I'm bombarded by things like
THIS IS NOT OK PEOPLE! SHE IS THE ANTI-CHRIST!
....sigh humanity.
But now the point of this post is my lady fails. So if you're squeamish about periods or hella anti-allthingswomanproblems leave.
Have you gone?
Good.
So the last 3 periods of mine I think i've just been really freaking lazy. I ignore all the signs that it's coming, I eat a bunch of nachos, I don't carry around feminine supplies just in case. The laziest lady you'll ever meet.
Luckily for me last night I was like damn my ovaries hurt...that can only mean one thing! So I got home and ate the rest of my birthday cake which was kind of gross but totally worth it and pms Cec has no regrets!
Then it actually clicked that I was actually on my period and should probably do something about that unless I wanted to build an arc to traverse a woman made red sea in my living room.
But to be honest. I was on top of this period. Last time I went for like 5 hours being like I don't even care! I hate being a woman! you can not hold me down body!! And just neglected all the things and went for work and walked around for 3 hours. Which was the most excruciating thing.
My shins always get super achey and if I have to stand for long periods of time I need advil or something but not this time. I was just rebelling.
Sigh.
If you're reading you're probably like what the heck is this woman doing with her life.
Nothing.
I'm literally doing nothing.
I read my opera pages. I looked at my english. I tried to care about my writing homework. Nothing.
Leave me to die! I'm going to get the ice cream!
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Black Etiquette: Acknowledgment
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
le people who read my blog I acknowledge your presence, I acknowledge you think I'm cool enough for your weekly routine, I acknowledge that there are many things I wish to write to you about since school has restarted but I have not the energy.
You know what's difficult? Being happy against your will ALL THE TIME!!
Something rather awful has happened recently in my life (no, no one has died fear not) and I just feel so terrible all the time (not terrible as if I did something wrong but terrible as in depressed) but I'm not depressed and I know this I can't imagine what depression must be like but probably like looking at life through a tube with a black force pressing down on you.
I do not feel like that...I guess I'm just sad. That's more accurate but like no one would ever know that I'm feeling sad because during the day it's like I'm floating on top of the world with an anchor of sadness tying me down.
Which has translated to people going...wtf is wrong with Cecilly she's so freaking happy all the time, how awful. I KNOW!
And now all you reading are like wow...this girl is on drugs isn't she? That makes all this make a whole lot of sense...
Well...yes and no? I'm not on drugs or happy pills or anything but I take Omega3 (fish oil) pills which are for your heart to make it healthy and since my heart will probably give out by 30 because I like Mexican food too much, my father feels that they're good for me and I can't disagree. But they improve so many things, your heart, lungs, bones, joint pain, and mental health! (something about insulating nerve cells in the brain or something) It's basically like a happy pill that isn't meant to be a happy pill but will help your happy levels out anyways.
Which you know is fine...I don't mind being happy but it also makes me feel more inclined to tell people things...I don't trust people enough to tell them such important things about my life...so I tell select people. I look at all my friends and go duck duck duck Goose! Because everyone knows ducks can't be trusted so I have to take a chance on the geese in my life (I think I have about 3 full fledged geese I would trust with the secrets of my existence)...which is basically just Antonio because I know he could not give a rip but won't tell me to go away and he won't tell anyone else because he doesn't like betraying people.
Yeah girls. Get yourself a good guy friend...who doesn't read your blog and will never find out you call him Antonio.
Also girls! Don't fall for your guy friends they're your friends who are boys why do you feel inclined to make them your boyfriends! ...well I guess guys do this too. Whatever make yourselves miserable...or get married. or both. Both may be for you.
Whatever! We're not talking about Cecilly issues. We're talking about what happened at work today!
So I work at the library as you may know from my pathetic ex running away from me there posts. And there are always these 2 black guys there when I work.
Now black people have this silent agreement or whatever that when you see another black person on the streets, in the library, at the beach you will smile/nod/ usually say hello. Lord knows if I know why! But my father ingrained it in me when I was a young child and I can't help but do it now and I'm no where near him. Maybe it's just a first world problem because there are so many white people around . Maybe it's just a way to acknowledge that there is another person of your colour walking around in your city who's ancestors experienced racism and slavery just like your ancestors. Just a common understanding that when you see each other you must nod to acknowledge your related ancestor struggles or like a "man, those white people you know?" (to any other black people reading this who feel offended, I'm sorry)
So there are these 2 black guys that are ALWAYS there and they're pretty good. I've never caught them eating, I know they do because sometimes they have tupperware or garbage on their desks but they're quiet and they seem pleasant so I'm not going to be like I see you've eaten next time don't. And we always smile and acknowledge the other's ancestors or whatever.
So today I'm almost off work I'm so revved to get out of the library and I'm walking back to the loan desk and one of them smiles at me as I'm walking by and turns like normal people do to ask me a question and he's like "how are you?"
IMMEDIATE SUSPICION!
But I am Canadian so I must be polite...."I'm good thanks how are you?"
I pray please all mighty powers of the world and anything else that this man just wants computer help on which I know nothing about.
"I'm good, I'm good...so what's your name?" oooooono!
I should have lied! I would have if I had not a name tag!
"oh that's a nice name, so you work here?" "mmhmm..." "cool cool so can I get your number?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why sir! I work in the library! I acknowledge you because we are both black! I have, to my knowledge, never made any advances or indications that I find you either attractive or that I want you! NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY NUMBER!
So like every girl in this situation I lie and say oh I have a boyfriend thanks...which he didn't seem to care about. Like he was going to be better than my non-existent boyfriend I just had to give him my number and he would prove that.
....
I did not give him my number.
But he had wasted the last 5 minutes of my shift and I ran back to the Phoenix where it is safer and I don't worry about random people I don't know trying to engage with me.
So there you go.
That's what this blog post was about but I don't edit so if you've made it this far I would tell you to forget that first part but I'm not going to go back and delete all that.
Sigh how to be pathetic? See Cecilly.
Lols bye!
le people who read my blog I acknowledge your presence, I acknowledge you think I'm cool enough for your weekly routine, I acknowledge that there are many things I wish to write to you about since school has restarted but I have not the energy.
You know what's difficult? Being happy against your will ALL THE TIME!!
Something rather awful has happened recently in my life (no, no one has died fear not) and I just feel so terrible all the time (not terrible as if I did something wrong but terrible as in depressed) but I'm not depressed and I know this I can't imagine what depression must be like but probably like looking at life through a tube with a black force pressing down on you.
I do not feel like that...I guess I'm just sad. That's more accurate but like no one would ever know that I'm feeling sad because during the day it's like I'm floating on top of the world with an anchor of sadness tying me down.
Which has translated to people going...wtf is wrong with Cecilly she's so freaking happy all the time, how awful. I KNOW!
And now all you reading are like wow...this girl is on drugs isn't she? That makes all this make a whole lot of sense...
Well...yes and no? I'm not on drugs or happy pills or anything but I take Omega3 (fish oil) pills which are for your heart to make it healthy and since my heart will probably give out by 30 because I like Mexican food too much, my father feels that they're good for me and I can't disagree. But they improve so many things, your heart, lungs, bones, joint pain, and mental health! (something about insulating nerve cells in the brain or something) It's basically like a happy pill that isn't meant to be a happy pill but will help your happy levels out anyways.
Which you know is fine...I don't mind being happy but it also makes me feel more inclined to tell people things...I don't trust people enough to tell them such important things about my life...so I tell select people. I look at all my friends and go duck duck duck Goose! Because everyone knows ducks can't be trusted so I have to take a chance on the geese in my life (I think I have about 3 full fledged geese I would trust with the secrets of my existence)...which is basically just Antonio because I know he could not give a rip but won't tell me to go away and he won't tell anyone else because he doesn't like betraying people.
Yeah girls. Get yourself a good guy friend...who doesn't read your blog and will never find out you call him Antonio.
Also girls! Don't fall for your guy friends they're your friends who are boys why do you feel inclined to make them your boyfriends! ...well I guess guys do this too. Whatever make yourselves miserable...or get married. or both. Both may be for you.
Whatever! We're not talking about Cecilly issues. We're talking about what happened at work today!
So I work at the library as you may know from my pathetic ex running away from me there posts. And there are always these 2 black guys there when I work.
Now black people have this silent agreement or whatever that when you see another black person on the streets, in the library, at the beach you will smile/nod/ usually say hello. Lord knows if I know why! But my father ingrained it in me when I was a young child and I can't help but do it now and I'm no where near him. Maybe it's just a first world problem because there are so many white people around . Maybe it's just a way to acknowledge that there is another person of your colour walking around in your city who's ancestors experienced racism and slavery just like your ancestors. Just a common understanding that when you see each other you must nod to acknowledge your related ancestor struggles or like a "man, those white people you know?" (to any other black people reading this who feel offended, I'm sorry)
So there are these 2 black guys that are ALWAYS there and they're pretty good. I've never caught them eating, I know they do because sometimes they have tupperware or garbage on their desks but they're quiet and they seem pleasant so I'm not going to be like I see you've eaten next time don't. And we always smile and acknowledge the other's ancestors or whatever.
So today I'm almost off work I'm so revved to get out of the library and I'm walking back to the loan desk and one of them smiles at me as I'm walking by and turns like normal people do to ask me a question and he's like "how are you?"
IMMEDIATE SUSPICION!
But I am Canadian so I must be polite...."I'm good thanks how are you?"
I pray please all mighty powers of the world and anything else that this man just wants computer help on which I know nothing about.
"I'm good, I'm good...so what's your name?" oooooono!
I should have lied! I would have if I had not a name tag!
"oh that's a nice name, so you work here?" "mmhmm..." "cool cool so can I get your number?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why sir! I work in the library! I acknowledge you because we are both black! I have, to my knowledge, never made any advances or indications that I find you either attractive or that I want you! NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY NUMBER!
So like every girl in this situation I lie and say oh I have a boyfriend thanks...which he didn't seem to care about. Like he was going to be better than my non-existent boyfriend I just had to give him my number and he would prove that.
....
I did not give him my number.
But he had wasted the last 5 minutes of my shift and I ran back to the Phoenix where it is safer and I don't worry about random people I don't know trying to engage with me.
So there you go.
That's what this blog post was about but I don't edit so if you've made it this far I would tell you to forget that first part but I'm not going to go back and delete all that.
Sigh how to be pathetic? See Cecilly.
Lols bye!
Monday, 31 December 2012
Too Black for My White Family
Wellllllll
Christmas happened.
Usually one of my most dreaded times of the year next to the birthdays of other family members. I'm not sure if it's because I'm the second youngest grandchild, my sister being the youngest or if my father's dislike of people is so embedded in me that I also hate people gatherings...probably a combo.
So every year about 6 times a year I have to go and sit and endure the old people questionings of if I like school have I seen my extended family in Victoria (of course not) what I plan on doing when I graduate blah blah blah blah I don't care. And no one really cares about the answer so I don't know why they insist on bothering me so.
BUT THIS YEAR! Yes I was most clever!
My parents went to a friends open house before family dinner and I was like I could go....but I would rather not be miserable for 10 hours, 6 hours is enough for me thanks. Which meant I had to bring the classic buns to be baked mother said show up around 5:30...cause dinner is supposed to start around 6 and they take about 15 minutes to bake....dinner never starts on time.
So I showed up at 5. Extra early and....volunteered in the kitchen!
PURE GENIUS!! The kitchen is a safe place as long as you're working in it because my uncle just shoos the people who shouldn't be in there out which means they can't talk to me! Can't bombard me with inane questions! Can't demand why I'm single with no intention of getting married! AHAHAHA I was brilliant, brilliant BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!
And of course I was right when I said dinner wouldn't start til 7:30, it was like 6 and my uncles like no no, hold off on the potatoes there aren't enough people here yet.
But see the problem is everyone expects dinner to start late so they just show up right before 7 expecting to be fed and not having to wait. And then the old people just descend! They see the food and they go for it even though it's not all out yet. Sigh old people but whatever. If their mouths are full they still can't talk to me.
Ugh! but then I found out that I don't get to go to my cousins wedding in the summer! I am sooooo upset! I've been waiting for these weddings, multiple cousins have decided it's time to start those things called families...ridiculous but whatever it's not my life and they're all late 20s early 30s so I guess they should get on that if they don't want to die alone....like I will be!
Pft, quelle domage. Whatever will I do keeping all my money...or all my poverty to myself and not have to deal with someone stealing my blankets and nagging me about kids.
I think I'll live.
but anyways so my cousin and his getting married. Perfectly fine because he's awesome and his fiance is pretty awesome too but as we were talking, I honestly don't know what I said because it's just so second nature now that my cousin was like "wow you just went full black there"
And it's just another reminder of how much I've changed since going to UVic.
I was so white when I went to school but uvic is almost a completely white campus and white people have expectations. I have become so ridiculously sassy at school because that's what people want, no complaints I quite like it.
Also it gives me a cover to be rude because they really can't tell the difference.
Everyone's all Cecilly is so sassy, hence nickname Sassily but really I'm just rude or I hate you but think what you want. I find it hilarious.
But alas here we are on the last day of 2012.
And though I had wished for the world to end on the 21st I guess I will be forced to live another year. (21 this year, fun fun.)
We'll see how I fair because right now the world isn't looking good.
If the rumors are true....2013 will bring the birth of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's child=DEMON SPAWN
So maybe the Mayans were a year off?
Nah probably not but it did serve for some excellent tumblring while it lasted.
I took Ernesta and Anita to the states yesterday for shopping. It was the bomb! not literally there were no bombs...But we got a ton of Vanilla Coke.
Went to a real 5 Guys Burgers and Fries.
Bought a ton of clothes....it was a good day.
Ernesta is an english major and rarely goes to the states so she was just freaking out over all the things it was so cute.
I'm going to miss my Vancouver friends when I go back to school in a couple of days but I gotta go back to school and I miss my island friends too. Plus there are quite a few things that have gone down since I left and it's catch up time...watch out UVic I'm coming for you!
Basically all I can ask of 2013 is that it not snow so much, better music with less dubstep, give Taylor Swift at least 3 more boyfriends by next year so she can continue to make terrible yet catchy music, Money would be nice but I've never received it when I've wished for it so I'll just keep the day dreams where they are.
Either way I've got some good ideas for 2013. We'll see if they happen.
And if you keep reading this into the New Years, you'll be privy to if they happen.
Christmas happened.
Usually one of my most dreaded times of the year next to the birthdays of other family members. I'm not sure if it's because I'm the second youngest grandchild, my sister being the youngest or if my father's dislike of people is so embedded in me that I also hate people gatherings...probably a combo.
So every year about 6 times a year I have to go and sit and endure the old people questionings of if I like school have I seen my extended family in Victoria (of course not) what I plan on doing when I graduate blah blah blah blah I don't care. And no one really cares about the answer so I don't know why they insist on bothering me so.
BUT THIS YEAR! Yes I was most clever!
My parents went to a friends open house before family dinner and I was like I could go....but I would rather not be miserable for 10 hours, 6 hours is enough for me thanks. Which meant I had to bring the classic buns to be baked mother said show up around 5:30...cause dinner is supposed to start around 6 and they take about 15 minutes to bake....dinner never starts on time.
So I showed up at 5. Extra early and....volunteered in the kitchen!
PURE GENIUS!! The kitchen is a safe place as long as you're working in it because my uncle just shoos the people who shouldn't be in there out which means they can't talk to me! Can't bombard me with inane questions! Can't demand why I'm single with no intention of getting married! AHAHAHA I was brilliant, brilliant BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!
And of course I was right when I said dinner wouldn't start til 7:30, it was like 6 and my uncles like no no, hold off on the potatoes there aren't enough people here yet.
But see the problem is everyone expects dinner to start late so they just show up right before 7 expecting to be fed and not having to wait. And then the old people just descend! They see the food and they go for it even though it's not all out yet. Sigh old people but whatever. If their mouths are full they still can't talk to me.
Ugh! but then I found out that I don't get to go to my cousins wedding in the summer! I am sooooo upset! I've been waiting for these weddings, multiple cousins have decided it's time to start those things called families...ridiculous but whatever it's not my life and they're all late 20s early 30s so I guess they should get on that if they don't want to die alone....like I will be!
Pft, quelle domage. Whatever will I do keeping all my money...or all my poverty to myself and not have to deal with someone stealing my blankets and nagging me about kids.
I think I'll live.
but anyways so my cousin and his getting married. Perfectly fine because he's awesome and his fiance is pretty awesome too but as we were talking, I honestly don't know what I said because it's just so second nature now that my cousin was like "wow you just went full black there"
And it's just another reminder of how much I've changed since going to UVic.
I was so white when I went to school but uvic is almost a completely white campus and white people have expectations. I have become so ridiculously sassy at school because that's what people want, no complaints I quite like it.
Also it gives me a cover to be rude because they really can't tell the difference.
Everyone's all Cecilly is so sassy, hence nickname Sassily but really I'm just rude or I hate you but think what you want. I find it hilarious.
But alas here we are on the last day of 2012.
And though I had wished for the world to end on the 21st I guess I will be forced to live another year. (21 this year, fun fun.)
We'll see how I fair because right now the world isn't looking good.
If the rumors are true....2013 will bring the birth of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's child=DEMON SPAWN
So maybe the Mayans were a year off?
Nah probably not but it did serve for some excellent tumblring while it lasted.
I took Ernesta and Anita to the states yesterday for shopping. It was the bomb! not literally there were no bombs...But we got a ton of Vanilla Coke.
Went to a real 5 Guys Burgers and Fries.
Bought a ton of clothes....it was a good day.
Ernesta is an english major and rarely goes to the states so she was just freaking out over all the things it was so cute.
I'm going to miss my Vancouver friends when I go back to school in a couple of days but I gotta go back to school and I miss my island friends too. Plus there are quite a few things that have gone down since I left and it's catch up time...watch out UVic I'm coming for you!
Basically all I can ask of 2013 is that it not snow so much, better music with less dubstep, give Taylor Swift at least 3 more boyfriends by next year so she can continue to make terrible yet catchy music, Money would be nice but I've never received it when I've wished for it so I'll just keep the day dreams where they are.
Either way I've got some good ideas for 2013. We'll see if they happen.
And if you keep reading this into the New Years, you'll be privy to if they happen.
Saturday, 8 December 2012
A Drunk Nightmare on 5th Street
QUICK! In the tiny lull between my exams I will tell you a story!!!
Alright so the other night was my friends 20th birthday. And unlike when I turned 20 and cried in bed over my loss of adolescence my friend, she has not yet been mentioned so I will call her Eva because she is a huge WW2 fan and I'm just going to hope she doesn't find that offensive, was quite ecstatic to be turning 20. So we all moseyed on over to her place. Aurora and Gumpette were there. Eva's history major friends were all there. We watched her be initiated into Dutch Blitz (a fantastic card game which to my sadness we did not play). And played several rounds of Cards Against Humanity which is basically a better version of Apples to Apples.
So a little drunk I walked to the last bus that would take me downtown to the last bus that would get me home. It is very cold now in Victoria and I have yet to figure out how to properly dress for these weather temperatures but I will suffer through.
So there I was waiting Downtown for the next bus to come that would take me home and I'm sitting slightly drunk on a bench. I couldn't sing obnoxiously as I wanted to because there were these two guys standing close to my bench.
Across the street is this restaurant called The 5th Street Bar and Grill (which Aurora and I just went to tonight because it is delicious) but last year the restaurant had had a fire and was closed for many months which was really sad. It's almost midnight so last calls are going around I guess and these 2 guys come out of the restaurant to smoke...but I never saw them go back in...probably because I was drunk and thinking about more important things than how gross and stupid smoking is.
Next I look over and I see this flame near the side of the building...rather small at first and I'm watching it and it's getting bigger and I'm like OMG WHAT!
I look at the other 2 guys waiting for the bus and they're talking and don't notice this flame and I'm like...maybe I've been drugged? Maybe the flame isn't there...but it's getting bigger!
So I stand up to investigate.
I start towards the street watching this massive flame and I have no idea what it's coming out of but the guys also don't seem to take note that I've taken an interest in it...Another example of how little faith I have in humans? I think so.
So I start to cross the street to check this thing out and make sure the buildings not on fire...but then I see this body.
And I can't honestly tell you if it was a body or not but it definitely resembled a beige trench coat with a body in it and it was hanging just behind the flames.
I am stopped in the middle of the road staring at this body and this flame....and then I decide that curiosity killed the cat!
The flame was large but it didn't appear to be catching onto the building so I went back to my bench and waited for the bus...
The 2 guys continued to talk as if nothing had happened...they probably thought I was some homeless girl on drugs or something but I was not that drunk and I know I wasn't drugged....so my eyes must have been playing with my mind...and that is what I will continue to believe!
So there you go.
That's kind of what I've been up to. There's more of course that I've been doing other than tests and studying but I have to edit my stage play and my friends are posting depressing songs on tumblr that are apparently good for me? I have strange friends.
Peace out!
Alright so the other night was my friends 20th birthday. And unlike when I turned 20 and cried in bed over my loss of adolescence my friend, she has not yet been mentioned so I will call her Eva because she is a huge WW2 fan and I'm just going to hope she doesn't find that offensive, was quite ecstatic to be turning 20. So we all moseyed on over to her place. Aurora and Gumpette were there. Eva's history major friends were all there. We watched her be initiated into Dutch Blitz (a fantastic card game which to my sadness we did not play). And played several rounds of Cards Against Humanity which is basically a better version of Apples to Apples.
So a little drunk I walked to the last bus that would take me downtown to the last bus that would get me home. It is very cold now in Victoria and I have yet to figure out how to properly dress for these weather temperatures but I will suffer through.
So there I was waiting Downtown for the next bus to come that would take me home and I'm sitting slightly drunk on a bench. I couldn't sing obnoxiously as I wanted to because there were these two guys standing close to my bench.
Across the street is this restaurant called The 5th Street Bar and Grill (which Aurora and I just went to tonight because it is delicious) but last year the restaurant had had a fire and was closed for many months which was really sad. It's almost midnight so last calls are going around I guess and these 2 guys come out of the restaurant to smoke...but I never saw them go back in...probably because I was drunk and thinking about more important things than how gross and stupid smoking is.
Next I look over and I see this flame near the side of the building...rather small at first and I'm watching it and it's getting bigger and I'm like OMG WHAT!
I look at the other 2 guys waiting for the bus and they're talking and don't notice this flame and I'm like...maybe I've been drugged? Maybe the flame isn't there...but it's getting bigger!
So I stand up to investigate.
I start towards the street watching this massive flame and I have no idea what it's coming out of but the guys also don't seem to take note that I've taken an interest in it...Another example of how little faith I have in humans? I think so.
So I start to cross the street to check this thing out and make sure the buildings not on fire...but then I see this body.
And I can't honestly tell you if it was a body or not but it definitely resembled a beige trench coat with a body in it and it was hanging just behind the flames.
I am stopped in the middle of the road staring at this body and this flame....and then I decide that curiosity killed the cat!
The flame was large but it didn't appear to be catching onto the building so I went back to my bench and waited for the bus...
The 2 guys continued to talk as if nothing had happened...they probably thought I was some homeless girl on drugs or something but I was not that drunk and I know I wasn't drugged....so my eyes must have been playing with my mind...and that is what I will continue to believe!
So there you go.
That's kind of what I've been up to. There's more of course that I've been doing other than tests and studying but I have to edit my stage play and my friends are posting depressing songs on tumblr that are apparently good for me? I have strange friends.
Peace out!
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Mama's Guide to Wooing
Hey hey,
So you may have been looking at my blog thinking "where did this girl go? She musta died or something"
Nope not dead, Bambi just told me once upon a time that if you haven't got anything nice to say you better not say anything...so I didn't.
And I was all for writing a post about how I'm moving up in the pole world and I can do a full combo or I'm sick and sniffly and I don't know how to handle it or about how silly Alfred is that he biked up to Tofino for reading break and ripped his back open on a cliff OR HELL how I made a grill cheese last night but burnt one side! All these would have been perfectly, non-offensive but noooo.
Aurora sent me a message this morning and I feel like somethings in the land of dating should be straightened out. I know you're all sitting there thinking "But Cecilly, you don't believe in dating!" You would be right, I don't. I think it's stupid and a waste of time but that doesn't mean I haven't dated and maybe I'm a prude but I've still got a few opinions on how it should go. Take it or leave it but I'mma judge you if you don't.
Step 1: Falling in Love
All that none sense about love at first sight is just that, none sense. I have never met anyone that has fallen instantly unless they are forcing themselves to do so. (How do you force yourself to fall in love?) Easy, you are sooooo sad and desperate that every room you walk into with a man you start evaluating whether or not you could be together, will your children be ugly, does he look like he'll buy you things? Ridiculous factors that you've been led to believe is the key to happiness. Hell looks don't even come into the equation most times though if your like me 'would I want to see his face 24/7?' is usually a quick way to eliminate people from the pool.
Anyways so you're planning on falling in love. First look at your group of friends. Do any of them appeal to you? If yes, are there any major things about them that you can't stand? Yes? Probably shouldn't date them you'll just end up fighting about it later. If No well then give it ago they might not be interested. If No to the first, mosey on over to a dating website, look at your co-workers, people in your classes or be one of those people who some how find their love at a party (I'm usually having too much fun to care)
Step 2: Getting To Know You
If you actually intend on being in a relationship you might want to get to know him first. Unless you were the person who answered yes to the group of friends then you probably already know each other. Hanging out and going on a date are very different. On dates you're trying to impress each other. If you can hang out with any significant awkwardness or problems then you may very well be able to spend time with each other for the rest of your lives. Which also means hanging out involves TALKING! Relationships involve communication and it should go past "How are you?" "Fine, you?" "Good!" *SNOG* no that's not how it goes you hormonal prepubescents! I expect to be able to hold at least a 30 minute conversation about something more meaningful than the awful Victoria weather without physical contact for this to even be feasible. Which brings me to possibly the most important step!
Step 3: Test Him Out in a Group
Now I don't just mean any group. Like you can't go to the aquarium and see how he handles small children running around. I mean a group where he will be forced to interact, a group like your friends. Hell it SHOULD be your friends! Everyone acts differently in a group as opposed to one on one, some desire to belong I think.
But I do not understand people who don't take friend advice into account. They are called friends for a reason, you should be able to trust them unless your life is like Gossip Girl or Popular. And if your friends don't like him there's probably a reason. And if you don't like that reason you had better have strong justification to sway their opinion of him or else he's going to have to start working super hard to impress them.
Maybe you disagree, "the opinions of my friends shouldn't stop me from loving who I love!" ...Fine...think that way if you want but I'll tell you what's going to happen. You'll become the friend that nobody likes. They won't want to see you because seeing you means seeing him and they don't like him. Or they'll be super standoffish and rude when he's around. And then you'll get upset and cry "I don't understand why none of my friends like him." Well girl they already told you but you chose not to listen. And then you'll spend all your time with him and slowly lose contact with all your friends and then one day he'll be like "I don't know if this is working" so you'll poke holes in his condoms so you get pregnant and then he'll have to stay and marry you (If he's a good man) or he could leave you and your child to suffer and maybe pay child support now and then.
Your Choice.
Step 4: Start Dating:
Now see I've basically addressed this whole post to girls so far, it can go either way take it how you want.
So you've decided this guy isn't totally weird, he's kind of interesting, he's not public enemy number one among your friends. Date him!
Now unless your whole plan in the first place was to strip him down and have your way with him you're actually going to go on some dates. (and if your plan was just to sleep with him you are a crazy closet slut and I'm telling you now you don't need a boyfriend to find someone who will have sex with you. There are tons of desperate people just like you milling around in lust.)
Going on dates include: Having dinner, going to a movie, watching live music, bowling, going for a walk, having coffee, basically any ridiculous classy thing you've seen in a cheesy chick flick. It usually involves spending money but hey you can learn a lot about your significant other by how they spend money.
Of course your date could be cooler and come up with something more original like a picnic, amusement parks, a treasure hunt, one of those scooter tours, whale watching. I don't know what people do when they want original dates. A guy took me hiking once, I was not impressed, I was not aware we were going hiking, I got sweaty and blisters...we don't talk anymore.
And you know once you get the huge spectacle of dating out of the way you can settle into normal coupley things like movie and popcorn at home, video games (if you're into that), nice at home dinner or order in.
Any sort of date like activity that ends with the audience going awww so cute.
And then you go home.
Cue Mama Prude.
Step 5: Pulling on the Naughty Boots
Some may call me a prude for my standards of when to have sex in the relationship but like I said Miss Closety Slut, you don't need a boyfriend to get a man in your bed. The fact that you would go through all that work just to have sex on a first date reinforces me thinking your crazy. ANYHOOOO!
Personally if being in a relationship is important to you and you've been putting time and money into this I think you can wait a month. It's really not that long a time especially if you have other stuff to do like work/homework/dishes. I really don't think you should even see each other everyday, just leads to dependency. And yes in that month I also mean you can't have sleep overs where you just sleep together but don't have sex. That's not fair to anyone, that's just teasing them only there's no goodness and you get to see how ugly they are in the morning.
Of course I know some of you would disagree "But I've been working on getting him for so long, now he's mine and I wanna jump him." (I think you all should know that I type these whiners in a high pitched annoying voice) Well then fine, have a reward wait 1-2 weeks if you're really that desperate to play with your new pogo. And if you're still going to argue with me you're ridiculous, there are people who date much longer than you and don't have sex until marriage. So I'll just be turning a deaf ear to your pitiful complaints.
Step 6: Live as Happily as You Can While Being Considerate
So you're in love. Congrats. I hope you've chosen wisely. But you know, just because you're floating around with pink glasses on in orgasmic bliss does not mean you can stop following the Human Decency Guidelines...ok so maybe they're not an actual set of guide lines but here are my basics for relationships.
So you may have been looking at my blog thinking "where did this girl go? She musta died or something"
Nope not dead, Bambi just told me once upon a time that if you haven't got anything nice to say you better not say anything...so I didn't.
And I was all for writing a post about how I'm moving up in the pole world and I can do a full combo or I'm sick and sniffly and I don't know how to handle it or about how silly Alfred is that he biked up to Tofino for reading break and ripped his back open on a cliff OR HELL how I made a grill cheese last night but burnt one side! All these would have been perfectly, non-offensive but noooo.
Aurora sent me a message this morning and I feel like somethings in the land of dating should be straightened out. I know you're all sitting there thinking "But Cecilly, you don't believe in dating!" You would be right, I don't. I think it's stupid and a waste of time but that doesn't mean I haven't dated and maybe I'm a prude but I've still got a few opinions on how it should go. Take it or leave it but I'mma judge you if you don't.
Step 1: Falling in Love
All that none sense about love at first sight is just that, none sense. I have never met anyone that has fallen instantly unless they are forcing themselves to do so. (How do you force yourself to fall in love?) Easy, you are sooooo sad and desperate that every room you walk into with a man you start evaluating whether or not you could be together, will your children be ugly, does he look like he'll buy you things? Ridiculous factors that you've been led to believe is the key to happiness. Hell looks don't even come into the equation most times though if your like me 'would I want to see his face 24/7?' is usually a quick way to eliminate people from the pool.
Anyways so you're planning on falling in love. First look at your group of friends. Do any of them appeal to you? If yes, are there any major things about them that you can't stand? Yes? Probably shouldn't date them you'll just end up fighting about it later. If No well then give it ago they might not be interested. If No to the first, mosey on over to a dating website, look at your co-workers, people in your classes or be one of those people who some how find their love at a party (I'm usually having too much fun to care)
Step 2: Getting To Know You
If you actually intend on being in a relationship you might want to get to know him first. Unless you were the person who answered yes to the group of friends then you probably already know each other. Hanging out and going on a date are very different. On dates you're trying to impress each other. If you can hang out with any significant awkwardness or problems then you may very well be able to spend time with each other for the rest of your lives. Which also means hanging out involves TALKING! Relationships involve communication and it should go past "How are you?" "Fine, you?" "Good!" *SNOG* no that's not how it goes you hormonal prepubescents! I expect to be able to hold at least a 30 minute conversation about something more meaningful than the awful Victoria weather without physical contact for this to even be feasible. Which brings me to possibly the most important step!
Step 3: Test Him Out in a Group
Now I don't just mean any group. Like you can't go to the aquarium and see how he handles small children running around. I mean a group where he will be forced to interact, a group like your friends. Hell it SHOULD be your friends! Everyone acts differently in a group as opposed to one on one, some desire to belong I think.
But I do not understand people who don't take friend advice into account. They are called friends for a reason, you should be able to trust them unless your life is like Gossip Girl or Popular. And if your friends don't like him there's probably a reason. And if you don't like that reason you had better have strong justification to sway their opinion of him or else he's going to have to start working super hard to impress them.
Maybe you disagree, "the opinions of my friends shouldn't stop me from loving who I love!" ...Fine...think that way if you want but I'll tell you what's going to happen. You'll become the friend that nobody likes. They won't want to see you because seeing you means seeing him and they don't like him. Or they'll be super standoffish and rude when he's around. And then you'll get upset and cry "I don't understand why none of my friends like him." Well girl they already told you but you chose not to listen. And then you'll spend all your time with him and slowly lose contact with all your friends and then one day he'll be like "I don't know if this is working" so you'll poke holes in his condoms so you get pregnant and then he'll have to stay and marry you (If he's a good man) or he could leave you and your child to suffer and maybe pay child support now and then.
Your Choice.
Step 4: Start Dating:
Now see I've basically addressed this whole post to girls so far, it can go either way take it how you want.
So you've decided this guy isn't totally weird, he's kind of interesting, he's not public enemy number one among your friends. Date him!
Now unless your whole plan in the first place was to strip him down and have your way with him you're actually going to go on some dates. (and if your plan was just to sleep with him you are a crazy closet slut and I'm telling you now you don't need a boyfriend to find someone who will have sex with you. There are tons of desperate people just like you milling around in lust.)
Going on dates include: Having dinner, going to a movie, watching live music, bowling, going for a walk, having coffee, basically any ridiculous classy thing you've seen in a cheesy chick flick. It usually involves spending money but hey you can learn a lot about your significant other by how they spend money.
Of course your date could be cooler and come up with something more original like a picnic, amusement parks, a treasure hunt, one of those scooter tours, whale watching. I don't know what people do when they want original dates. A guy took me hiking once, I was not impressed, I was not aware we were going hiking, I got sweaty and blisters...we don't talk anymore.
And you know once you get the huge spectacle of dating out of the way you can settle into normal coupley things like movie and popcorn at home, video games (if you're into that), nice at home dinner or order in.
Any sort of date like activity that ends with the audience going awww so cute.
And then you go home.
Cue Mama Prude.
Step 5: Pulling on the Naughty Boots
Some may call me a prude for my standards of when to have sex in the relationship but like I said Miss Closety Slut, you don't need a boyfriend to get a man in your bed. The fact that you would go through all that work just to have sex on a first date reinforces me thinking your crazy. ANYHOOOO!
Personally if being in a relationship is important to you and you've been putting time and money into this I think you can wait a month. It's really not that long a time especially if you have other stuff to do like work/homework/dishes. I really don't think you should even see each other everyday, just leads to dependency. And yes in that month I also mean you can't have sleep overs where you just sleep together but don't have sex. That's not fair to anyone, that's just teasing them only there's no goodness and you get to see how ugly they are in the morning.
Of course I know some of you would disagree "But I've been working on getting him for so long, now he's mine and I wanna jump him." (I think you all should know that I type these whiners in a high pitched annoying voice) Well then fine, have a reward wait 1-2 weeks if you're really that desperate to play with your new pogo. And if you're still going to argue with me you're ridiculous, there are people who date much longer than you and don't have sex until marriage. So I'll just be turning a deaf ear to your pitiful complaints.
Step 6: Live as Happily as You Can While Being Considerate
So you're in love. Congrats. I hope you've chosen wisely. But you know, just because you're floating around with pink glasses on in orgasmic bliss does not mean you can stop following the Human Decency Guidelines...ok so maybe they're not an actual set of guide lines but here are my basics for relationships.
- Keep your Public Displays of Attention in check! I don't want to be having a conversation and get interrupted by wandering hands. Keep your hysterical horny sounds at a low volume so they won't distract me when I'm studying or trying to eat. And I have no interest in watching porn in public (or ever really but that's just because I think it's a very strange and sad career)
- Accommodate the feelings of others. Do you have a roommate? Have you asked them if it's ok for your boytoy to come over? What if they wanted to watch T.V in the living room or have a lot of homework? At least take it to your room if you're just going to drop in an announced but hell you should be giving them a chance to run if he's coming over. How about a warning that they might not want to walk around in their underwear because your man is staying the night! Common courtesy don't forget it.
- Broadcast your relationship on social media. If you're not utterly disgusting and gushy about it people won't really care but what is the point in being in a relationship if it's secret!? People are going to find out anyways if you're not being discrete. People are going to judge you for not telling them, wouldn't you rather be on top of the gossip? (Normal people say yes to that question. If you said no it probably doesn't bode well)
So there you go!
Mama's Guide To Wooing by moi! (Can't not make a blog about falling in love without Fergie!)
You should listen to my sound words but if you don't it's not really my problem because I do think relationships are a time waster for lonely people.
Peace out ready people,we'll see if I can bring myself to be nicer next time. <3
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