Lady Fails

Why hello!
Do you know what day it is?! It's Alan Rickman's birthday mothafucka! Yeah! So happy birthday to this attractive old man! (He's 67) No cares! I love him sooooo much!

So now that I've got those out of they way.

A little house cleaning before I actually start.

I said I would send you my birthday present pictures

My Gnome soap that I will probably keep nailed to my wall forever

My nipple, still nicely wrapped atop my cupcake pyramid...all of which have been eaten

And my british hat cheesecake!

Twas a good birthday!! <3 

Valentine's happened (a regular waste of a day if you ask me!) But we did slave for a day auctions. Yours truly was sold for 22$ Pretty freaking good if you ask me!!!

And even better Sergei bought me so that I could make him dinner and clean his dishes and then watch Poireaux and drink wine like the old british couple we are! And of all the things he could have chosen for me to make him...he chose quesidillas...Hella easy to put together but a nightmare to flip! 

But it was still delicious!

He was the proudest slave master I ever had! <3 

Alright! so now that that's out of the way.

It's reading break people! I hate reading break! It's literally a week of me going crazy because I hate my homework and all my friends are busy and the ones that aren't like aren't even my friends anymore so I have no reason to hang out with them! It is soooo annoying!

Which means I have countless hours to scroll tumblr instead of doing homework which means I'm bombarded by things like 

 THIS IS NOT OK PEOPLE! SHE IS THE ANTI-CHRIST! 

....sigh humanity.

But now the point of this post is my lady fails. So if you're squeamish about periods or hella anti-allthingswomanproblems leave.

Have you gone?

Good.

So the last 3 periods of mine I think i've just been really freaking lazy. I ignore all the signs that it's coming, I eat a bunch of nachos, I don't carry around feminine supplies just in case. The laziest lady you'll ever meet. 

Luckily for me last night I was like damn my ovaries hurt...that can only mean one thing! So I got home and ate the rest of my birthday cake which was kind of gross but totally worth it and pms Cec has no regrets! 

Then it actually clicked that I was actually on my period and should probably do something about that unless I wanted to build an arc to traverse a woman made red sea in my living room.

But to be honest. I was on top of this period. Last time I went for like 5 hours being like I don't even care! I hate being a woman! you can not hold me down body!! And just neglected all the things and went for work and walked around for 3 hours. Which was the most excruciating thing. 

My shins always get super achey and if I have to stand for long periods of time I need advil or something but not this time. I was just rebelling. 

Sigh.

If you're reading you're probably like what the heck is this woman doing with her life.

Nothing.

I'm literally doing nothing.

I read my opera pages. I looked at my english. I tried to care about my writing homework. Nothing. 

Leave me to die! I'm going to get the ice cream!

REUNITED AT LAST!!!

Oh happy internet people!
Many weeks have gone by since I have had the pleasure of seeing Alfred.
Certainly we have chatted now and again on the facebook but we have both been terribly busy in our respective areas of study that we have not the time to see one another.
Alfred is graduating this year you see which means much homework for a biology/ psychology major and I'm simply not quick enough with my essay writing or studying to see him. This being. We haven't seen each other in almost 4 weeks!
Absurd for how much time he spends doing my dishes and keeping me on task.
Also, as I previously mentioned many posts back, he had ripped his back open on his little back trip to Tofino and has spent much of his time lying on his stomach healing.
BUT ALAS HE HAS RETURNED!!! Though suspiciously after I have done my own dishes....hmmmm.
Sadly I must go to work for 4 hours! An absurd amount! I know people with regular jobs are like "tis nothing!" but my 4 hours will be spent walking around the library and telling people not to eat and stop snoring even though it's exam week and they couldn't possibly do such things in the confines of their houses.
But! After work, we will party! Not that I need, as he takes the time to point out, any particular reason for drinking. After Friday night however I feel like many would agree.
If you remember many months back I mentioned my Front of House partner Antonio, he would certainly agree with my no longer needing to drink. A very long conversation about dragons and dangerous people on the streets. But alas, it is all in good fun and my favorite first year (we'll call him Walt) is fantastic company and together we make a grand couple of drunkards.
So yes, Alfred and I shall party tonight! Until then it's Love Actually time! I am happy!
Life is good!
I hope yours is too!