Kim's Nightmare

Sooooo as some of you know I'm going to be an asian whore in the upcoming production of Miss Saigon in Victoria (It opens this week)
And you may have read all the way back to when I was taking pole dance lessons and all I wanted was to be a call girl.
For reals, being a whore is my calling next to singing and acting.
So when I got in Miss Saigon I was ecstatic! I mean there's only 1 and a half actual asians in the show and I'm black but I figured I look more asian than all the white people. So yes stoked! I was going to be a whore!
But every step of the way to my whoredom has been a struggle. Yes I get to be a whore but I am the most reserved nunish looking whore you've ever seen.
See we have this costume designer.
He makes great show girl pieces.
Fine.
But man does he have a hate on for fat girls.
There's me, another girl (who has slimmed down significantly during this run) and an old lady and we're all in traditional, pretty sure they're chinese, dresses for this bar scene.
Do I feel like a whore?
No.
All he did to make it more whorish was raise the skirt....so when I lift my arms above my head the whole dress goes up and my bottom is definitely exposed. Don't worry, I'm wearing underwear on top of my tights.
So yeah. Naturally we feel like shit as every other girl in the scene is walking around in bras, panties, lingerie, bathing suits. Completely exposed!
And they complain about it!
They complain about being uncomfortable.
They complain about the me being creepy and gross. (Some of them are but the rest are acting that's why we're here)
Of course, I'm the only girl in the show with actual pole dance experience but instead of getting up and working the pole I'm made into a vendor.
A vendor with a very ill fitting shirt.
And during The American Dream, while everyone is either in show girl 2 pieces or form fitting dresses this man took a sheet of fabric. cut a whole in the middle and glued some stars on it!
I am wearing a drape, literally.

It really sucks you know, when you give up a lot of your time and put a ton of hard work into something only to be treated like shit and given low self esteem.
Naturally the costume guy has not yet insulted me directly as I would tear him a new one. But some of the things he's said to the other girl are just unacceptable.
If I could I would just switch out his dresses for lingerie of my own, he probably wouldn't even notice since he doesn't focus on us. But I'm not going to bother. We're almost to opening.
There's no point in getting worked up now.
On the other hand, I'm getting my hair dyed black so I don't have to wear a wig....
The joys of theater continue.

Beware The Groove!

I think I might post twice tonight or just write 2 and then post one tomorrow because I feel like so much is going on and I haven't posted in forever which is a lie I posted 3 days ago!
Here we go!
So the other day, Tuesday when I had planned to write this out, I realized around noon that I was signed up for this groove class at my dance studio where I pole dance....how did this happen I thought to myself?
I honestly have no memory of ever looking at the studio schedule and going yeah I think groove would be a good idea, on a Tuesday, when usually I just sit at home or see Alfred or something. I didn't even know what groove was! Why would I sign up for it! (I fear, yet to be confirmed, that Alfred signed me up for it because he secretly no longer wants to hang out with me anymore.)
The course description: Get ready to move around!

.......................................................................................................................what?

That's not a description! 

But my dance studio has a 24 hour cancellation period and the class was that night and yeah, true enough I wasn't going to do anything anyways so I went.

My first impression, everyone in this class is strange and appear to be socially awkward.

Then this girl showed up and brought glow sticks.....why would we need glow sticks in a dance class I wondered.
I WAS SO LOST! 

And then it all made sense.

My dance instructor turned off the lights and turned on the black lights! We were freaking glow in the dark! Glow sticks everywhere! AND THEN WE DANCED! Well not really....we kinda krumped around the room which was strange being the only coloured kid in the class....

We had a little krump battle, me against this adorable little white girl, needless to say she didn't stand a chance. 

I think the whitest move we did was that ski movement where your legs go back one at a time, very strange.

The best part of course was that it was all to 90'S HIP HOP! So good. Jumping around to Woomp There It Is, Push it, U Can't Touch This.

....And then we had a random moment that was all about working your gluts (AKA your butt). My teacher just yelled "SPREAD YOUR LEGS LIKE MAGIC MIKE IS ABOUT TO FRISK YOU!" (she had just purchased Magic Mike that morning=bad for your health) And we proceeded to seduce the wall with bootylicious goodness. It was a little awkward, just a smidgen. 

But then we shook it out around the room. It was a lot of fun! And I'm glad I went....of course Wednesday morning my body didn't want to function and just cried at me for all the hours I was awake before I forced it to go patrol the library...

One day I'll pay my body back for being so understanding.

Until then...I've signed up for Groove next week! It's gunna be good!!

Peace out peeps!