You don't have to answer that. I've pretty much reached the end of my limited ability to care about people.
Yeah that last passive aggressive post failed, naturally the side of "you don't believe in relationships so you don't understand" was taken. It's such a pathetically ignorant side but I have no control of others.
And that's really the point of this blog post. I don't know how many times my father has told me that I get to emotionally invested in other people's lives, I care too much, I try to hard to make them understand and make everyone happy and it makes me miserable!
I am miserable! Is that fair? No.
So I'm not going to care about those people anymore. (at least until the rest of term) Because there is nothing I can do if they don't listen, they will continue to be bad people anyways, they will continue to be bad friends to me and I don't deserve that. I deserve people that are going to tell me the truth, whom I can have confidence in telling my secrets. I can count 3, sometimes 4 people whom I fully trust because I know they're not going to tell everyone in the Phoenix something or I know that they have the same opinion on humans as I do.
Humans are freaking stupid! Everyone is so desperate to be liked! WHY!? To rack up your facebook friends? Get over yourself. You should count yourself blessed to have 1 good friend over 10 friends who have known you less than a year who aren't even that nice about you when your back is turned.
And it's these friends that I have that drive me to insanity like this. Every year! Well I'm over it.
If you're going to ask me why I'm upset and you already know but you don't want to hear it again then DON'T ASK! I'm not demanding that you do. Of course if you're those poor people in grocery stores who ask because it's polite I answer truthfully just to make you feel uncomfortable. You're expecting 'good' or 'fine' not an epic retelling of how dreadful I'm feeling and am back to buy more drugs in hopes that my body will sort itself out.
I'm very busy people. If I don't interest you don't bother with me. I have an essay that's going no where because I know nothing on musicals. I have a play that makes no sense and my writing TA will tell me it sucks in a week, I know this. I wouldn't go see it.
I can't even figure out any of my scheduling for December!
Maybe I just won't come back next term. My father did it. He's strongly convinced I will too. Think of all the money I don't have that I could save! Yes dropping out of school after I fail this history course sounds like a grand idea.
And on top of that, I'm still sick! My left nostril has decided to become permanently blocked and it's messing with my other sinuses! I have this constant pressure against my left eye. I feel like one of those ugly goldfish with a giant tumor eye and suddenly one day I'll just die because my eye explodes...I can't wait. I hope it happens before my final exams so I don't have to go through them.
And if I do by chance die and you're reading this I won't be having a funeral, tell my mother to take my remains to mexico.
How am I still alive you ask?
Easy! EGG NOG!
Basically yeah, I have egg nog ice cream it is freaking delicious.
I have egg nog for drinking so I drink it and then I put it in my coffee and I drink it some more. Egg nog lattes for breakfast. Basically the only way to get me out of bed for writing in the morning....which reminds me I need to find my iclicker.
And I need to go to bed...and stop listening to Taylor Swift (That'll be my next post). And stop listening to Miss Saigon.
I think the high light of today was watching the King and I! SO GOOD!
If I were going to marry a man I would marry The King of Siam, maybe Yul Brynner but I'd probably die from second hand smoke cancer since apparently he never stopped smoking.
I know I know, "but Cecilly, you wouldn't have any rights, you'd be a slave, you'd probably never even see him!" MEH! I would be so spoiled, providing I was a wife in favor, I'd get nice clothes, and food and sure I'd have a couple dozen kids. Don't even care as long as I got to do whatever I want all the other times. "But Cecilly, don't you want him to be yours and yours only?" Lols no, too much work.
There are so many good lines in the play like this one which I find relevant to this topic.
Anna-“How do you explain the fact that many men remain faithful to one wife”
King- “They are sick”
This is a man who knows what he's talking about!
And now I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll be lucky and the world will end early.
mmmm Just Perfect!
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