"We are mildly decent human beings and that's polite in America"
I can't remember if it was Anita or Sherona who said that but it was a pretty accurate representation of us traveling through Oregon.
On the second day of our trip along the Oregon trail, nicely settled in our hotel room in Newport we naturally decided to leave Newport and go other places as tourists do.
I kind of felt like that part of the Arrogant Worms "Mountie Song" where the Americans are listing all the major cities in Canada they plan to visit that day.
We were like
We wanna go to Tillamook! And Manzinita! And Lincoln City! Maybe Florence this afternoon if and we got time!
We wanna buy some cheese!
We're gunna taste the wine!
We're gunna walk barefoot on the sandy beaches in January!!
And we did most all of that except get to Florence.
We started the morning off with a trip to Fred Myers because soooooomebody forgot deodorant! (Anita)
So there we were frolicking through the store and we come across THE GUN SECTION!
Just like a giant display case of all the different types of guns and ammo you could purchase.
Purple and pink hand guns.
Rifles in camouflage (again purple and pink camo for the lady hunters)
Completely unmanned. and true maybe we can trust the early morning shoppers of Fred Myers not to be crazy and trigger happy before 10am
But seeing that certainly makes a liberal Canadian uneasy.
Not to mention the grand display was located between the children's bikes.
Excellent placement!
Teach your kid how to ride and hunt on the same day. (That's a sport isn't it? Maybe on horses instead of bikes? Some sort of biathlon)
So we moseyed on out of there and back up the coast to Lincoln City for a spot of Breakfast. Pig N Pancake.
You see them all over oregon. And there was one in Newport but the gps in the car is very very special and can't always be trusted to find things.
It was suprisingly super delicious and we were very pleased.
Full of eggs and hashbrowns we trucked on. Up to tillamook!
But before the big cheese stop we took a second to stop in at the Blue Heron. (mostly because it said wine tasting)
And taste wine we did!!
There were so many glorious choices!
Sweet wines, meads, regular wines! We tried it all!
I settled on the Toasted Cow. It's super sweet white wine but tastes like juice it was so good!! I should have bought two bottles!
My cohorts got some honeymead as well as the cow wine (and drank both their bottles that very night)
The guy in charge of the wine tasting station was awesome! He reminded me a lot of Hannibal in terms of looks (which is not an insult, he could be quite dashing) I have no idea what his name was but he informed us quite a bit about the residents of the Oregon coast.
Driving along it's a lot of one level houses. like the ones you see for sale on the side of the I-5 in Washington and you kind of just wonder, who would ever buy one of those things. Well tons of people in Oregon do!
Their also hella spread out with acres of land between houses but not nearly enough cows, or chickens, or crops to possibly be making a living off of their farms. It's all very confusing as to how these people could possibly make a living.
We settled that it's all just inherited.
Wine tasting man explained these strange people to us however.
It appears on the Oregon coast there's a very strange cross over of the cultured and the hermits. There's lots of retirees and artists that move out from portland to the coast after several years to settle down into peaceful lives.
There's also the people just living there for the tourism.
There's a couple farmer's doing their own thing here and there.
And then there's the Meth Zombies!
How intriguing!
These are the hillbillies of the Oregon coast, not much to do, no aspirations. Just doing meth all day everyday and shooting their homemade semi-automatic guns.
Hannibal was telling us about how he had some friends over in the summer and he was showing them his apple orchard (of course he was so hipster he had an apple orchard) when there was a huge commotion of hooting and hollering and guns going off.
His friends all hit the deck!
But he was like "Nah, don't worry it's just the meth zombies."
He also told us about stopping in a back country gas station and meeting a man he called "Boris" (because he was this big russian guy with a crazy moustache) who had a huge selection of knives all nicely polished and laid out in the store.
Hannibal was like "wow cool" and Boris was like meh.
But then Hannibal looked behind Boris and there was just a whack ton of guns just piled haphazardly all over the place behind him.
Hannibal was like oh shit just gunna pay for my gas and go!
Hannibal was a great find in Tillamook, along with the cheese of course.
So we continued up to Manzanita and walked on the beaches which are so nice and sandy. (Anita took off her shoes, I opted to avoid contracting the Avian bird flu)
And we headed back to Newport for a dinner at Mo's
Which is famous if you didn't know and has probably the best clam chowder on the west coast at least!
Though the saw for my shrimp tried to kill me.
It was a lovely evening
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