The Honk!

My new life in apartment living has opened my eyes to all the different honks in the world.
And I'mma share em with you now.

It starts with the simple, standard monday morning dumptruck.
And I'm talking every monday morning even holidays the dump truck comes to empty!
Around 7am you're gunna hear a beep,beep,beep,beep for about 2 minutes and then a HONK HONK! as the dump truck backs out into oncoming traffic and just prays no ones gunna hit him...which is stupid, there must be a better way to be a dump truck.

Now the location of my building is between two intersections on Mckenzie.
One intersection is the start of a hill then there's a little bit of slump and then more hill. And lord you can bet that slump causes a whole lot of trouble.
Which brings us to honk number two
The HONK HONK
the honk honk is reserved for bitches who be trying to turn in the slump areas. We've got the ones who can't see over the slump and have a long line of cars behind them who are pissed off because they keep missing their chances to turn cause, once again, they can't see.
Or for the people in the slump trying to turn left in rush hour who can't be getting through and the line behind them that are mad they've decided to turn there.
(Truth is there should just be a darn barrier there so no one can turn)

Then we got the LOOOOOOONG.
This is for the guy who's going 60 down the hill on his phone not paying attention to the suddenly stopping traffic up ahead and manages to stop just in time, usually accompanied by the squealing of tires.
It can also be found when one of those cars trying to turn in the slump takes the rash decision to go for it! and nearly gets taken out by the oncoming traffic they couldn't see.
This honk is usually accompanied by a "LEARN TO DRIVE ASSHOLE" or similar words of caution and anger.

The LOOOOOOONG is often followed by the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG
From the person who made the rash turn, or almost got hit by the idiot not watching the traffic up ahead. Though the former is totes in the wrong they'll usually throw a "fuck you" back at the other cars. Why? They think they're pretty fly drivers.
They're wrong.

Then there's the two am LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!
And it's at two am and there's not a lot of people on the road so I just usually assume that a raccoon is in danger or owls are dive bombing cars which i don't really care about so I roll over and go back to bed.

And last but I'm sure not least, a new one I just heard this morning. This is probably the most life altering...of course I still didn't get out of bed to see what had happened but I was intrigued.
This morning....probs like 5am cause the light was up but lord it was no time for me to be awake.
I heard, right out side my window in the slump, a TOOT TOOT "You ok man?" Like a oh hello bro over here just slowly approaching you in my car I see you have a problem and I was wondering if you needed help honk?
So I assumed the dude being honked at must be in like some sort of dilemma.
Hit by a car
Broken down car
Flat tire (lols see how the chain of my brain works up there)

But the dude was like "No man, I'm good".....You're good?
......
Well ok bye

And the other car just drove off. By cool you're fine whatever his dilemma was.
I still didn't look out the window but I was THOROUGHLY intrigued.
Peace out car drivers,
And when in doubt, honk it out.

Black Etiquette: Acknowledgment

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
le people who read my blog I acknowledge your presence, I acknowledge you think I'm cool enough for your weekly routine, I acknowledge that there are many things I wish to write to you about since school has restarted but I have not the energy.
You know what's difficult? Being happy against your will ALL THE TIME!!
Something rather awful has happened recently in my life (no, no one has died fear not) and I just feel so terrible all the time (not terrible as if I did something wrong but terrible as in depressed) but I'm not depressed and I know this I can't imagine what depression must be like but probably like looking at life through a tube with a black force pressing down on you.
I do not feel like that...I guess I'm just sad. That's more accurate but like no one would ever know that I'm feeling sad because during the day it's like I'm floating on top of the world with an anchor of sadness tying me down.
Which has translated to people going...wtf is wrong with Cecilly she's so freaking happy all the time, how awful. I KNOW!
And now all you reading are like wow...this girl is on drugs isn't she? That makes all this make a whole lot of sense...
Well...yes and no? I'm not on drugs or happy pills or anything but I take Omega3 (fish oil) pills which are for your heart to make it healthy and since my heart will probably give out by 30 because I like Mexican food too much, my father feels that they're good for me and I can't disagree. But they improve so many things, your heart, lungs, bones, joint pain, and mental health! (something about insulating nerve cells in the brain or something) It's basically like a happy pill that isn't meant to be a happy pill but will help your happy levels out anyways.
Which you know is fine...I don't mind being happy but it also makes me feel more inclined to tell people things...I don't trust people enough to tell them such important things about my life...so I tell select people. I look at all my friends and go duck duck duck Goose! Because everyone knows ducks can't be trusted so I have to take a chance on the geese in my life (I think I have about 3 full fledged geese I would trust with the secrets of my existence)...which is basically just Antonio because I know he could not give a rip but won't tell me to go away and he won't tell anyone else because he doesn't like betraying people.
Yeah girls. Get yourself a good guy friend...who doesn't read your blog and will never find out you call him Antonio.
Also girls! Don't fall for your guy friends they're your friends who are boys why do you feel inclined to make them your boyfriends! ...well I guess guys do this too. Whatever make yourselves miserable...or get married. or both. Both may be for you.
Whatever! We're not talking about Cecilly issues. We're talking about what happened at work today!
So I work at the library as you may know from my pathetic ex running away from me there posts. And there are always these 2 black guys there when I work.
Now black people have this silent agreement or whatever that when you see another black person on the streets, in the library, at the beach you will smile/nod/ usually say hello. Lord knows if I know why! But my father ingrained it in me when I was a young child and I can't help but do it now and I'm no where near him. Maybe it's just a first world problem because there are so many white people around . Maybe it's just a way to acknowledge that there is another person of your colour walking around in your city who's ancestors experienced racism and slavery just like your ancestors. Just a common understanding that when you see each other you must nod to acknowledge your related ancestor struggles or like a "man, those white people you know?"  (to any other black people reading this who feel offended, I'm sorry)

So there are these 2 black guys that are ALWAYS there and they're pretty good. I've never caught them eating, I know they do because sometimes they have tupperware or garbage on their desks but they're quiet and they seem pleasant so I'm not going to be like I see you've eaten next time don't. And we always smile and acknowledge the other's ancestors or whatever.
So today I'm almost off work I'm so revved to get out of the library and I'm walking back to the loan desk and one of them smiles at me as I'm walking by and turns like normal people do to ask me a question and he's like "how are you?"
IMMEDIATE SUSPICION!
But I am Canadian so I must be polite...."I'm good thanks how are you?"
I pray please all mighty powers of the world and anything else that this man just wants computer help on which I know nothing about.
"I'm good, I'm good...so what's your name?" oooooono!
I should have lied! I would have if I had not a name tag!
"oh that's a nice name, so you work here?" "mmhmm..." "cool cool so can I get your number?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why sir! I work in the library! I acknowledge you because we are both black! I have, to my knowledge, never made any advances or indications that I find you either attractive or that I want you! NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY NUMBER!
So like every girl in this situation I lie and say oh I have a boyfriend thanks...which he didn't seem to care about. Like he was going to be better than my non-existent boyfriend I just had to give him my number and he would prove that.
....
I did not give him my number.
But he had wasted the last 5 minutes of my shift and I ran back to the Phoenix where it is safer and I don't worry about random people I don't know trying to engage with me.
So there you go.
That's what this blog post was about but I don't edit so if you've made it this far I would tell you to forget that first part but I'm not going to go back and delete all that.
Sigh how to be pathetic? See Cecilly.
Lols bye!

Da Ridge!

Well well well!
Look who's home in Maple Ridge.
Why yes it's me! Your most glorious and beloved leader.
Though I have only been in the actual city of Maple Ridge for a little over 6 hours my time back on the mainland has proven to be treacherous indeed. Only 2 days til the world ends you know.
Anyways.
So I got on the ferry yesterday morning expecting to see people I knew as the 2nd years had their final history exam on Monday but there were none. I was completely alone. So I enjoyed my time attempting to get a head start on my fiction assignment for writing next semester....but that didn't work I think I'm stuck on play mode....basically came out as a long monologue.
But I think I would very much like to write a story about the merpeople who live in the waters around the Gulf Islands...I think it would be smashing but then I am a little odd.
So I made it almost the whole ferry ride before I looked over and noticed these boys...these boys that seemed very familiar....but I thought nooooo why would I know these people they look like sciency types I wouldn't know them...
And then as we were about to dock I realized who they were. They were the boys from my night of drinking with Walt in his rez....and they looked over...and they obviously knew who I was...so I pretended not to see them.Quite embarrassing but they're first years so I think I will overcome it.
Oh lord and then I went clubbing for my friend Jude's birthday. I've decided that I quite dislike Vancouver clubs they're no fun, often ridiculously small, over priced and full of people I don't want to be around.
So a bunch of us went home early which was fine with me. And it would have been a fantastic night if Ernesta had just let us get chinese food! But she didn't! Because apparently it was a very classy place and we all looked like hookers! So rude!
And then the worst possible thing that could have happened happened late in the night/early morning....it started to snow....
Now Vancouver almost never gets snow. We're not used to it, don't know how to handle it. And it wasn't even forecasted but low and behold when I woke up this morning, first as per usual, and was bombarded by facebook pictures of snow covered cars and houses I rushed to the door! And there was about 15 cm of snow if not more which is TOO MUCH!
I think part of the reason I stay on the west coast is to avoid snow. And you can be certain that P.Bob, who was driving us all home is not an experienced snow driver.
She drives a very large blue ford taurus....not meant for snow...with all seasoned tires....which have probably never seen snow.
Naturally....we got stuck and the 4 passengers had to get out and push! Good lord we got wet! Poor Ernesta fell twice and it was definitely one of those moments I thought the car might roll backwards and flatten her. I would have been do upset without her in my life I'm glad this didn't happened.
We somehow managed to get onto the main road, mostly because this beige van waited patiently for us to get unstuck and held up traffic to let us in.
We passed many stuck busses and stalled trucks who were putting on chains. We had to go up this awful hill and this guy with his nice expensive car was laying down newspaper to try and get traction...needless to say it didn't work and the papers went flying.
Goodness me were we ever wet and a half. And we spent all day wet as we went for Ihop (You can never go wrong with restaurant coffee) and then went to see the HOBBIT!
I finally understand all these girls fangirling over the dwarves. They were quite attractive I must say.
And though my feet stayed wet for nearly 8 hours I have no regrets.
Welcome back to da ridge me!
ttfn