Sooooo, I've said this a few times.....but there are days where I honestly feel like people are trying to kill me with their relationships.
For prior beliefs on crazies in relationships see:
Mamas Guide To Wooing
Get Me to a Nunnery
Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend Yet
The Burden of Being Single
And like lord knows how many others on encountering my stupid and engaged ex who runs away from me but I feel like this is a slightly newer version of this topic.
If you are going to be in a relationship and you and your partner plan to be in public situations, especially around people you know and like
PLEASE GET ALL YOU FACE SUCKING NEEDS OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE YOU EXIT INTO THE REAL WORLD!!!!
Like it's just so gross.
Not to mention awkward
When you're all chillen before class or at a bus stop and these two people have somehow melted into one blob of slurping sounds and little I love yous no I love yous!
Like, STOP!
We're not interested?
If I wanted to watch that kind of mush I'd visit a high school.
Of course if you don't want to have a conversation with your friends then don't insert yourself, especially into the middle, of a group or conversation. Now there's this circle of awkwardness around you trying to be like omg should i look, i was going to ask her about the history homework but i guess I can wait, oh god please don't get on the bus with us!
Also, there's no where in the immediate victoria area that the buses from uvic won't get you in half an hour.... I'm sure you can wait half an hour. If you've really been apart that long all day that you can't not suck face then like go hide behind a tree for a bit and suck face til your bus comes, we'll call you and let you know that it's there but please SAVE US THE AWKWARDNESS!
Likewise if we wanted to suck face with either of you we probably would have beat your significant other to asking you out or else would walk away in this instant.
It's just these little moments of ignorance that tear people apart.
And suddenly you wake up one day and that significant other is gone and all your friends have gotten new phones and you don't have the number because they dread having to spent time with two goldfish that are stuck together at the lips.
Then what will you do
Where as if you had just been polite this wouldn't be a problem.
SAVE THE FRIENDSHIPS!
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?
I have some spare time here and I'm not really sleepy so I'd like to address a little something.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.
Monday, 4 March 2013
Stress Fractures
Oh hey world,
Clearly I have no interest in being on top of things right now so I'll just post in my blog instead of doing those stressful things.
So the past few days I've been apprenticing at a theater here in Victoria. And you know how when you get a new job you feel like you should be doing something, proving your worth....but there's like literally nothing for me to do so I just kind of stand. FOR HOURS!
The other night was opening and there were all these opera people around. I will tell you now, opera audiences are the worst most snobby above anyone else audience people you'll ever meet. Yes they applaud wildly, they give the act of watching opera their all. But they can just be soooooo rude and snippity. Anyways, so for opening night I basically stood for 12 hours. In heels, flat heels mind you that are usually very comfy but on this occasion decided to take me out.
My feet feel like all those snooty opera goers looked at little apprentice me standing in the corner and went
over and over and over again.
So me and some smart dancer type people have concluded that I probably have stress fractures in my feet. I can't even begin to explain the pain. It's constantly throbbing and I've made sure to stand as little as possible today.
I've taken to pushing myself around my basement suite by using only my heels on my rolling chair. I kinda look like this
Only I'm super tired so I'm going much slower and some of my floor is carpeting so I kind of just hit that and stop. I just want my feet to stop hurting, massaging them hurts, stretching them hurts, wiggling my toes hurts. Pretty much everything hurts them accept heat packs and bubble baths.
And it's like people know my feet are super messed up so they're going around making my life as difficult as possible.
I went on a field trip today for my first year english class...to the library...the place where I work. And this dreary man who really knew nothing about the library tried to educate me and then made me walk down and back up the flights of stairs! Naturally I went to my teacher before this tour and was like "oh hey I work here, please don't make me go on this tour!" and he was like "NOPE! We're gunna have fun!" But all we got were some nasty glares in the silent area.
It doesn't help that last night closing at the library this rude kid wouldn't leave and then I'm pretty sure was hiding and now I don't even know if he actually left after I thought he left. He could have just come back upstairs when I was on a different floor!
AND IT'S SO RUDE! People have no regard for me as a human, they just have this stupid goal of staying in the library over night which I can't image would be any fun at all. So my feet hurt more and more.
Now I have to go find some comfortable shoes to wear for the rest of march for this apprenticeship so my feet don't break.
I also have a ton of homework I have no interest in doing and won't be doing because I'm going to bed as soon as I finish writing this. My milk is going to go bad tomorrow which means I have to get more
and it's all just too much!
I need a caregiver! My friend Monica seems to think I just need a boyfriend but in my experience they generally don't do anything of use when you need them. No I need a caregiver. Someone to wash my dishes and make me food and hell, straighten my hair for me because my arms are too tired to reach.
Maybe I'll go over to the nursing department and ask if anyone needs some work experience (unpaid of course) It would definitely make my life easier.
Right now I feel like this
Night!
Monday, 4 February 2013
My Love is too Beautiful to Have Thrown Back in My Face
This post will not be happy because I am not happy.
It happens.
No, it's not because February is the month of depression. It's not because February is 'Black History Month' (which is bullshit I don't need brought up). It's not because I have to turn 21 in a week.
It's partly because of this movie For Colored Girls which is based off of this choreopoem play. I thought I knew pain before this movie but watching it feels like the slow tearing of your soul. Is it because I'm black that I can relate to this? No I don't think so because if you've read my other posts about my interactions with other black people you've probably picked up that I'm seriously white washed in many ways.
Something about women struggling, loss, abuse. It gets me.
If we're honest, this is the kind of thing I would have watched and then called Alfred over because I was in such a ridiculous state of sobbing...and he would have stood there going omg what do I do but with ice cream...
So I caved today and bought my own ice cream. I wasn't going to. I haven't bought ice cream since before christmas because it was egg nog flavored and I could not pass up that opportunity!
But yeah, I miss Alfred I guess. Which probably shouldn't be new info. Just a lot of things have happened in the course of a week. Just the craziest things that 1-make no sense, 2-shouldn't happen, 3-I have no desire to deal with.
So naturally I've been ignoring...most of these things.
One thing I'll tell you about I could not ignore.
My friend has been insisting that I go on a date with this guy from her office for sometime and since I no longer hang out with Alfred she decided it was time for a little blind date...and I guess I ran out of excuses not to.
He was a very nice guy, nice that he has an actual job, nice that he has his own place, and his own friends...but I still don't date. Nor do I want to. Which of course was really awkward to explain but he seemed to have taken it alright...my friend's definitely going to kill me though when she finds out. Hopefully she doesn't find out for a few days.
Luckily I still have Sergei, which you know I just realized I have never told you about. He is my best guy/gay friend, not that that's how I should identify my friends to people but...it's easiest...Jude would kill me if she knew. Anyways I'll call him Sergei because he's super into all things British and his regal ancestry but he was also Russian and very proud of that as well. Sergei seems Russian and regal so it'll do I think. Anyways, we've been hanging out because he's come to his senses recently and doesn't want to go into poli sci but is going back to Calgary next year so he's just taking whatever courses right now which means he has plenty of free time to spend with me...where we drink, gossip, and watch Poireaux (the agatha christie detective, it's super good) Saturday night was a friend's birthday so we got suuuuuuuper drunk and I ate a fondue bowl of chocolate. No regrets, chocolate is the best. And then my lovely boy made me food the next morning, just perfect.
So I guess I'm not totally miserable, still miserable but things have the potential to look up. I just have to stop watching this movie because I've watched it twice now and just thinking about it get's me crying. Like in the lobby today talking to this first year. She's all like 'omg do you need a hug' and I'm like 'no man I got this I just have to stop thinking about it' ...so I try not to think about it in public.
Walking around my house and sobbing profusely is safe though.
But really I just wanted to write this blog to thank the people I love and who are there for me, even the ones that don't realize they're there for me. I love you and thank you.
It happens.
No, it's not because February is the month of depression. It's not because February is 'Black History Month' (which is bullshit I don't need brought up). It's not because I have to turn 21 in a week.
It's partly because of this movie For Colored Girls which is based off of this choreopoem play. I thought I knew pain before this movie but watching it feels like the slow tearing of your soul. Is it because I'm black that I can relate to this? No I don't think so because if you've read my other posts about my interactions with other black people you've probably picked up that I'm seriously white washed in many ways.
Something about women struggling, loss, abuse. It gets me.
If we're honest, this is the kind of thing I would have watched and then called Alfred over because I was in such a ridiculous state of sobbing...and he would have stood there going omg what do I do but with ice cream...
So I caved today and bought my own ice cream. I wasn't going to. I haven't bought ice cream since before christmas because it was egg nog flavored and I could not pass up that opportunity!
But yeah, I miss Alfred I guess. Which probably shouldn't be new info. Just a lot of things have happened in the course of a week. Just the craziest things that 1-make no sense, 2-shouldn't happen, 3-I have no desire to deal with.
So naturally I've been ignoring...most of these things.
One thing I'll tell you about I could not ignore.
My friend has been insisting that I go on a date with this guy from her office for sometime and since I no longer hang out with Alfred she decided it was time for a little blind date...and I guess I ran out of excuses not to.
He was a very nice guy, nice that he has an actual job, nice that he has his own place, and his own friends...but I still don't date. Nor do I want to. Which of course was really awkward to explain but he seemed to have taken it alright...my friend's definitely going to kill me though when she finds out. Hopefully she doesn't find out for a few days.
Luckily I still have Sergei, which you know I just realized I have never told you about. He is my best guy/gay friend, not that that's how I should identify my friends to people but...it's easiest...Jude would kill me if she knew. Anyways I'll call him Sergei because he's super into all things British and his regal ancestry but he was also Russian and very proud of that as well. Sergei seems Russian and regal so it'll do I think. Anyways, we've been hanging out because he's come to his senses recently and doesn't want to go into poli sci but is going back to Calgary next year so he's just taking whatever courses right now which means he has plenty of free time to spend with me...where we drink, gossip, and watch Poireaux (the agatha christie detective, it's super good) Saturday night was a friend's birthday so we got suuuuuuuper drunk and I ate a fondue bowl of chocolate. No regrets, chocolate is the best. And then my lovely boy made me food the next morning, just perfect.
So I guess I'm not totally miserable, still miserable but things have the potential to look up. I just have to stop watching this movie because I've watched it twice now and just thinking about it get's me crying. Like in the lobby today talking to this first year. She's all like 'omg do you need a hug' and I'm like 'no man I got this I just have to stop thinking about it' ...so I try not to think about it in public.
Walking around my house and sobbing profusely is safe though.
But really I just wanted to write this blog to thank the people I love and who are there for me, even the ones that don't realize they're there for me. I love you and thank you.
Monday, 21 January 2013
Get Me To a Nunnery!
So guys, I've been thinking and yes. It's time.
Sign me up for the Nun Life!
Now I know what you're thinking, Cecilly you can't just run off and join a nunnery!
...Well yes I did think that and then people started explaining me all the steps that it takes to become a nun I think so that I would not become a nun...
Apparently you have to show up and chill there for 3 years just thinking about being a nun and decided if it's right for you. Then you've got to give up all your things and spend a lot of time thinking of god and praying...and then after like hundreds of years of nunhood you and god can get married...
Or something like that...
But you know I'm pretty dead set in this nun thing so I think I can just skip all those things and go straight to being a nun...I suppose I could marry god too if I really must but I don't particularly feel like sharing my husband with millions of other nuns...that's just creepy.
But I'mma do it and here's my reasons why!
1-I've decided I'm not mentally able to cope with the loss of my best friend and solid rock. No, Alfred's not dead. But he's gone off to date this crazy chick Cathleen who you know I don't actually hate but is super possessive of her man and hates me.
Understandable because as most women who enter relationships, the child has gone out of her mind and obviously sees me as a threat to the fused entity that is them by having Alfred as my friend. Needless to say I have been very upset over all of this though I absolutely see where she's coming from Alfred was still my best friend. I told that kid everything, I can't count the number of times he has dealt with my hysterics, brought ice cream when I need cheering up, sat through Pride & Prejudice (BBC and Kiera Knightly versions). I don't know how I would have stayed sane the past 3 years of university without him...but I guess I'm going to have to find out...and now I have to wash my own dishes which sucks.
But seriously sadness which I'm accepting.
2-I think I am a victim of harassment ? Maybe? Yeah remember those guys from my last post? The black guys at the library and one of them asked me out?
Well now they've both asked me out like the one guy needed to prove he was better than the other by getting me to say yes. I have no said yes I just walk away from them now! And they're super creepy! I'm always really careful when I'm patrolling the library cause I don't want to see them and usually they're on the first floor....but they've been getting sneakier!
They're studying in different places all the time so I'll think I'm safe and bam there they are on the 3rd floor! And they always try to talk to me, ask me how my day was. It's not friendly it's creepy. But it's not like terrible yet...they haven't tried to follow me home...
And if they try and touch me I will just break their fingers and that will be that.
3-All the guys I know as a whole have just been too touchy lately....maybe it was just drunk me being hyper aware of people passing by me but just all the hands and the limbs and then these two guys who I've never seen before out of no where! Telling me and my drunk friend who I'm trying to help that we should kiss? NO THANK YOU RUDE DOUCHE! So men are out and even though all these girls keep wearing red lipstick around me and I find them super attractive I have no interest in dealing with lady problems and I have no intention of taking those ladies away from the other men and women that do wanna deal with them.
4-If you don't send me to a nunnery I'll be forever lost in a sea of cute sloth gifs and videos. At least in a nunnery there's no internet just lots of reading and praying and singing! My life will not be wasted on those things if I'm in a nunnery!
Come on guys you know you wanna pay my entrance fee!!!!
So yeah basically I'm off to sing about hills alive with music in an Austrian nunnery because I miss my friend, I hate boys, boys are pigs, and sloths have taken over my world!
Seems legit right?
Sign me up for the Nun Life!
Now I know what you're thinking, Cecilly you can't just run off and join a nunnery!
...Well yes I did think that and then people started explaining me all the steps that it takes to become a nun I think so that I would not become a nun...
Apparently you have to show up and chill there for 3 years just thinking about being a nun and decided if it's right for you. Then you've got to give up all your things and spend a lot of time thinking of god and praying...and then after like hundreds of years of nunhood you and god can get married...
Or something like that...
But you know I'm pretty dead set in this nun thing so I think I can just skip all those things and go straight to being a nun...I suppose I could marry god too if I really must but I don't particularly feel like sharing my husband with millions of other nuns...that's just creepy.
But I'mma do it and here's my reasons why!
1-I've decided I'm not mentally able to cope with the loss of my best friend and solid rock. No, Alfred's not dead. But he's gone off to date this crazy chick Cathleen who you know I don't actually hate but is super possessive of her man and hates me.
Understandable because as most women who enter relationships, the child has gone out of her mind and obviously sees me as a threat to the fused entity that is them by having Alfred as my friend. Needless to say I have been very upset over all of this though I absolutely see where she's coming from Alfred was still my best friend. I told that kid everything, I can't count the number of times he has dealt with my hysterics, brought ice cream when I need cheering up, sat through Pride & Prejudice (BBC and Kiera Knightly versions). I don't know how I would have stayed sane the past 3 years of university without him...but I guess I'm going to have to find out...and now I have to wash my own dishes which sucks.
But seriously sadness which I'm accepting.
2-I think I am a victim of harassment ? Maybe? Yeah remember those guys from my last post? The black guys at the library and one of them asked me out?
Well now they've both asked me out like the one guy needed to prove he was better than the other by getting me to say yes. I have no said yes I just walk away from them now! And they're super creepy! I'm always really careful when I'm patrolling the library cause I don't want to see them and usually they're on the first floor....but they've been getting sneakier!
They're studying in different places all the time so I'll think I'm safe and bam there they are on the 3rd floor! And they always try to talk to me, ask me how my day was. It's not friendly it's creepy. But it's not like terrible yet...they haven't tried to follow me home...
And if they try and touch me I will just break their fingers and that will be that.
3-All the guys I know as a whole have just been too touchy lately....maybe it was just drunk me being hyper aware of people passing by me but just all the hands and the limbs and then these two guys who I've never seen before out of no where! Telling me and my drunk friend who I'm trying to help that we should kiss? NO THANK YOU RUDE DOUCHE! So men are out and even though all these girls keep wearing red lipstick around me and I find them super attractive I have no interest in dealing with lady problems and I have no intention of taking those ladies away from the other men and women that do wanna deal with them.
4-If you don't send me to a nunnery I'll be forever lost in a sea of cute sloth gifs and videos. At least in a nunnery there's no internet just lots of reading and praying and singing! My life will not be wasted on those things if I'm in a nunnery!
Come on guys you know you wanna pay my entrance fee!!!!
So yeah basically I'm off to sing about hills alive with music in an Austrian nunnery because I miss my friend, I hate boys, boys are pigs, and sloths have taken over my world!
Seems legit right?
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Black Etiquette: Acknowledgment
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
le people who read my blog I acknowledge your presence, I acknowledge you think I'm cool enough for your weekly routine, I acknowledge that there are many things I wish to write to you about since school has restarted but I have not the energy.
You know what's difficult? Being happy against your will ALL THE TIME!!
Something rather awful has happened recently in my life (no, no one has died fear not) and I just feel so terrible all the time (not terrible as if I did something wrong but terrible as in depressed) but I'm not depressed and I know this I can't imagine what depression must be like but probably like looking at life through a tube with a black force pressing down on you.
I do not feel like that...I guess I'm just sad. That's more accurate but like no one would ever know that I'm feeling sad because during the day it's like I'm floating on top of the world with an anchor of sadness tying me down.
Which has translated to people going...wtf is wrong with Cecilly she's so freaking happy all the time, how awful. I KNOW!
And now all you reading are like wow...this girl is on drugs isn't she? That makes all this make a whole lot of sense...
Well...yes and no? I'm not on drugs or happy pills or anything but I take Omega3 (fish oil) pills which are for your heart to make it healthy and since my heart will probably give out by 30 because I like Mexican food too much, my father feels that they're good for me and I can't disagree. But they improve so many things, your heart, lungs, bones, joint pain, and mental health! (something about insulating nerve cells in the brain or something) It's basically like a happy pill that isn't meant to be a happy pill but will help your happy levels out anyways.
Which you know is fine...I don't mind being happy but it also makes me feel more inclined to tell people things...I don't trust people enough to tell them such important things about my life...so I tell select people. I look at all my friends and go duck duck duck Goose! Because everyone knows ducks can't be trusted so I have to take a chance on the geese in my life (I think I have about 3 full fledged geese I would trust with the secrets of my existence)...which is basically just Antonio because I know he could not give a rip but won't tell me to go away and he won't tell anyone else because he doesn't like betraying people.
Yeah girls. Get yourself a good guy friend...who doesn't read your blog and will never find out you call him Antonio.
Also girls! Don't fall for your guy friends they're your friends who are boys why do you feel inclined to make them your boyfriends! ...well I guess guys do this too. Whatever make yourselves miserable...or get married. or both. Both may be for you.
Whatever! We're not talking about Cecilly issues. We're talking about what happened at work today!
So I work at the library as you may know from my pathetic ex running away from me there posts. And there are always these 2 black guys there when I work.
Now black people have this silent agreement or whatever that when you see another black person on the streets, in the library, at the beach you will smile/nod/ usually say hello. Lord knows if I know why! But my father ingrained it in me when I was a young child and I can't help but do it now and I'm no where near him. Maybe it's just a first world problem because there are so many white people around . Maybe it's just a way to acknowledge that there is another person of your colour walking around in your city who's ancestors experienced racism and slavery just like your ancestors. Just a common understanding that when you see each other you must nod to acknowledge your related ancestor struggles or like a "man, those white people you know?" (to any other black people reading this who feel offended, I'm sorry)
So there are these 2 black guys that are ALWAYS there and they're pretty good. I've never caught them eating, I know they do because sometimes they have tupperware or garbage on their desks but they're quiet and they seem pleasant so I'm not going to be like I see you've eaten next time don't. And we always smile and acknowledge the other's ancestors or whatever.
So today I'm almost off work I'm so revved to get out of the library and I'm walking back to the loan desk and one of them smiles at me as I'm walking by and turns like normal people do to ask me a question and he's like "how are you?"
IMMEDIATE SUSPICION!
But I am Canadian so I must be polite...."I'm good thanks how are you?"
I pray please all mighty powers of the world and anything else that this man just wants computer help on which I know nothing about.
"I'm good, I'm good...so what's your name?" oooooono!
I should have lied! I would have if I had not a name tag!
"oh that's a nice name, so you work here?" "mmhmm..." "cool cool so can I get your number?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why sir! I work in the library! I acknowledge you because we are both black! I have, to my knowledge, never made any advances or indications that I find you either attractive or that I want you! NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY NUMBER!
So like every girl in this situation I lie and say oh I have a boyfriend thanks...which he didn't seem to care about. Like he was going to be better than my non-existent boyfriend I just had to give him my number and he would prove that.
....
I did not give him my number.
But he had wasted the last 5 minutes of my shift and I ran back to the Phoenix where it is safer and I don't worry about random people I don't know trying to engage with me.
So there you go.
That's what this blog post was about but I don't edit so if you've made it this far I would tell you to forget that first part but I'm not going to go back and delete all that.
Sigh how to be pathetic? See Cecilly.
Lols bye!
le people who read my blog I acknowledge your presence, I acknowledge you think I'm cool enough for your weekly routine, I acknowledge that there are many things I wish to write to you about since school has restarted but I have not the energy.
You know what's difficult? Being happy against your will ALL THE TIME!!
Something rather awful has happened recently in my life (no, no one has died fear not) and I just feel so terrible all the time (not terrible as if I did something wrong but terrible as in depressed) but I'm not depressed and I know this I can't imagine what depression must be like but probably like looking at life through a tube with a black force pressing down on you.
I do not feel like that...I guess I'm just sad. That's more accurate but like no one would ever know that I'm feeling sad because during the day it's like I'm floating on top of the world with an anchor of sadness tying me down.
Which has translated to people going...wtf is wrong with Cecilly she's so freaking happy all the time, how awful. I KNOW!
And now all you reading are like wow...this girl is on drugs isn't she? That makes all this make a whole lot of sense...
Well...yes and no? I'm not on drugs or happy pills or anything but I take Omega3 (fish oil) pills which are for your heart to make it healthy and since my heart will probably give out by 30 because I like Mexican food too much, my father feels that they're good for me and I can't disagree. But they improve so many things, your heart, lungs, bones, joint pain, and mental health! (something about insulating nerve cells in the brain or something) It's basically like a happy pill that isn't meant to be a happy pill but will help your happy levels out anyways.
Which you know is fine...I don't mind being happy but it also makes me feel more inclined to tell people things...I don't trust people enough to tell them such important things about my life...so I tell select people. I look at all my friends and go duck duck duck Goose! Because everyone knows ducks can't be trusted so I have to take a chance on the geese in my life (I think I have about 3 full fledged geese I would trust with the secrets of my existence)...which is basically just Antonio because I know he could not give a rip but won't tell me to go away and he won't tell anyone else because he doesn't like betraying people.
Yeah girls. Get yourself a good guy friend...who doesn't read your blog and will never find out you call him Antonio.
Also girls! Don't fall for your guy friends they're your friends who are boys why do you feel inclined to make them your boyfriends! ...well I guess guys do this too. Whatever make yourselves miserable...or get married. or both. Both may be for you.
Whatever! We're not talking about Cecilly issues. We're talking about what happened at work today!
So I work at the library as you may know from my pathetic ex running away from me there posts. And there are always these 2 black guys there when I work.
Now black people have this silent agreement or whatever that when you see another black person on the streets, in the library, at the beach you will smile/nod/ usually say hello. Lord knows if I know why! But my father ingrained it in me when I was a young child and I can't help but do it now and I'm no where near him. Maybe it's just a first world problem because there are so many white people around . Maybe it's just a way to acknowledge that there is another person of your colour walking around in your city who's ancestors experienced racism and slavery just like your ancestors. Just a common understanding that when you see each other you must nod to acknowledge your related ancestor struggles or like a "man, those white people you know?" (to any other black people reading this who feel offended, I'm sorry)
So there are these 2 black guys that are ALWAYS there and they're pretty good. I've never caught them eating, I know they do because sometimes they have tupperware or garbage on their desks but they're quiet and they seem pleasant so I'm not going to be like I see you've eaten next time don't. And we always smile and acknowledge the other's ancestors or whatever.
So today I'm almost off work I'm so revved to get out of the library and I'm walking back to the loan desk and one of them smiles at me as I'm walking by and turns like normal people do to ask me a question and he's like "how are you?"
IMMEDIATE SUSPICION!
But I am Canadian so I must be polite...."I'm good thanks how are you?"
I pray please all mighty powers of the world and anything else that this man just wants computer help on which I know nothing about.
"I'm good, I'm good...so what's your name?" oooooono!
I should have lied! I would have if I had not a name tag!
"oh that's a nice name, so you work here?" "mmhmm..." "cool cool so can I get your number?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why sir! I work in the library! I acknowledge you because we are both black! I have, to my knowledge, never made any advances or indications that I find you either attractive or that I want you! NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY NUMBER!
So like every girl in this situation I lie and say oh I have a boyfriend thanks...which he didn't seem to care about. Like he was going to be better than my non-existent boyfriend I just had to give him my number and he would prove that.
....
I did not give him my number.
But he had wasted the last 5 minutes of my shift and I ran back to the Phoenix where it is safer and I don't worry about random people I don't know trying to engage with me.
So there you go.
That's what this blog post was about but I don't edit so if you've made it this far I would tell you to forget that first part but I'm not going to go back and delete all that.
Sigh how to be pathetic? See Cecilly.
Lols bye!
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Mama's Guide to Wooing
Hey hey,
So you may have been looking at my blog thinking "where did this girl go? She musta died or something"
Nope not dead, Bambi just told me once upon a time that if you haven't got anything nice to say you better not say anything...so I didn't.
And I was all for writing a post about how I'm moving up in the pole world and I can do a full combo or I'm sick and sniffly and I don't know how to handle it or about how silly Alfred is that he biked up to Tofino for reading break and ripped his back open on a cliff OR HELL how I made a grill cheese last night but burnt one side! All these would have been perfectly, non-offensive but noooo.
Aurora sent me a message this morning and I feel like somethings in the land of dating should be straightened out. I know you're all sitting there thinking "But Cecilly, you don't believe in dating!" You would be right, I don't. I think it's stupid and a waste of time but that doesn't mean I haven't dated and maybe I'm a prude but I've still got a few opinions on how it should go. Take it or leave it but I'mma judge you if you don't.
Step 1: Falling in Love
All that none sense about love at first sight is just that, none sense. I have never met anyone that has fallen instantly unless they are forcing themselves to do so. (How do you force yourself to fall in love?) Easy, you are sooooo sad and desperate that every room you walk into with a man you start evaluating whether or not you could be together, will your children be ugly, does he look like he'll buy you things? Ridiculous factors that you've been led to believe is the key to happiness. Hell looks don't even come into the equation most times though if your like me 'would I want to see his face 24/7?' is usually a quick way to eliminate people from the pool.
Anyways so you're planning on falling in love. First look at your group of friends. Do any of them appeal to you? If yes, are there any major things about them that you can't stand? Yes? Probably shouldn't date them you'll just end up fighting about it later. If No well then give it ago they might not be interested. If No to the first, mosey on over to a dating website, look at your co-workers, people in your classes or be one of those people who some how find their love at a party (I'm usually having too much fun to care)
Step 2: Getting To Know You
If you actually intend on being in a relationship you might want to get to know him first. Unless you were the person who answered yes to the group of friends then you probably already know each other. Hanging out and going on a date are very different. On dates you're trying to impress each other. If you can hang out with any significant awkwardness or problems then you may very well be able to spend time with each other for the rest of your lives. Which also means hanging out involves TALKING! Relationships involve communication and it should go past "How are you?" "Fine, you?" "Good!" *SNOG* no that's not how it goes you hormonal prepubescents! I expect to be able to hold at least a 30 minute conversation about something more meaningful than the awful Victoria weather without physical contact for this to even be feasible. Which brings me to possibly the most important step!
Step 3: Test Him Out in a Group
Now I don't just mean any group. Like you can't go to the aquarium and see how he handles small children running around. I mean a group where he will be forced to interact, a group like your friends. Hell it SHOULD be your friends! Everyone acts differently in a group as opposed to one on one, some desire to belong I think.
But I do not understand people who don't take friend advice into account. They are called friends for a reason, you should be able to trust them unless your life is like Gossip Girl or Popular. And if your friends don't like him there's probably a reason. And if you don't like that reason you had better have strong justification to sway their opinion of him or else he's going to have to start working super hard to impress them.
Maybe you disagree, "the opinions of my friends shouldn't stop me from loving who I love!" ...Fine...think that way if you want but I'll tell you what's going to happen. You'll become the friend that nobody likes. They won't want to see you because seeing you means seeing him and they don't like him. Or they'll be super standoffish and rude when he's around. And then you'll get upset and cry "I don't understand why none of my friends like him." Well girl they already told you but you chose not to listen. And then you'll spend all your time with him and slowly lose contact with all your friends and then one day he'll be like "I don't know if this is working" so you'll poke holes in his condoms so you get pregnant and then he'll have to stay and marry you (If he's a good man) or he could leave you and your child to suffer and maybe pay child support now and then.
Your Choice.
Step 4: Start Dating:
Now see I've basically addressed this whole post to girls so far, it can go either way take it how you want.
So you've decided this guy isn't totally weird, he's kind of interesting, he's not public enemy number one among your friends. Date him!
Now unless your whole plan in the first place was to strip him down and have your way with him you're actually going to go on some dates. (and if your plan was just to sleep with him you are a crazy closet slut and I'm telling you now you don't need a boyfriend to find someone who will have sex with you. There are tons of desperate people just like you milling around in lust.)
Going on dates include: Having dinner, going to a movie, watching live music, bowling, going for a walk, having coffee, basically any ridiculous classy thing you've seen in a cheesy chick flick. It usually involves spending money but hey you can learn a lot about your significant other by how they spend money.
Of course your date could be cooler and come up with something more original like a picnic, amusement parks, a treasure hunt, one of those scooter tours, whale watching. I don't know what people do when they want original dates. A guy took me hiking once, I was not impressed, I was not aware we were going hiking, I got sweaty and blisters...we don't talk anymore.
And you know once you get the huge spectacle of dating out of the way you can settle into normal coupley things like movie and popcorn at home, video games (if you're into that), nice at home dinner or order in.
Any sort of date like activity that ends with the audience going awww so cute.
And then you go home.
Cue Mama Prude.
Step 5: Pulling on the Naughty Boots
Some may call me a prude for my standards of when to have sex in the relationship but like I said Miss Closety Slut, you don't need a boyfriend to get a man in your bed. The fact that you would go through all that work just to have sex on a first date reinforces me thinking your crazy. ANYHOOOO!
Personally if being in a relationship is important to you and you've been putting time and money into this I think you can wait a month. It's really not that long a time especially if you have other stuff to do like work/homework/dishes. I really don't think you should even see each other everyday, just leads to dependency. And yes in that month I also mean you can't have sleep overs where you just sleep together but don't have sex. That's not fair to anyone, that's just teasing them only there's no goodness and you get to see how ugly they are in the morning.
Of course I know some of you would disagree "But I've been working on getting him for so long, now he's mine and I wanna jump him." (I think you all should know that I type these whiners in a high pitched annoying voice) Well then fine, have a reward wait 1-2 weeks if you're really that desperate to play with your new pogo. And if you're still going to argue with me you're ridiculous, there are people who date much longer than you and don't have sex until marriage. So I'll just be turning a deaf ear to your pitiful complaints.
Step 6: Live as Happily as You Can While Being Considerate
So you're in love. Congrats. I hope you've chosen wisely. But you know, just because you're floating around with pink glasses on in orgasmic bliss does not mean you can stop following the Human Decency Guidelines...ok so maybe they're not an actual set of guide lines but here are my basics for relationships.
So you may have been looking at my blog thinking "where did this girl go? She musta died or something"
Nope not dead, Bambi just told me once upon a time that if you haven't got anything nice to say you better not say anything...so I didn't.
And I was all for writing a post about how I'm moving up in the pole world and I can do a full combo or I'm sick and sniffly and I don't know how to handle it or about how silly Alfred is that he biked up to Tofino for reading break and ripped his back open on a cliff OR HELL how I made a grill cheese last night but burnt one side! All these would have been perfectly, non-offensive but noooo.
Aurora sent me a message this morning and I feel like somethings in the land of dating should be straightened out. I know you're all sitting there thinking "But Cecilly, you don't believe in dating!" You would be right, I don't. I think it's stupid and a waste of time but that doesn't mean I haven't dated and maybe I'm a prude but I've still got a few opinions on how it should go. Take it or leave it but I'mma judge you if you don't.
Step 1: Falling in Love
All that none sense about love at first sight is just that, none sense. I have never met anyone that has fallen instantly unless they are forcing themselves to do so. (How do you force yourself to fall in love?) Easy, you are sooooo sad and desperate that every room you walk into with a man you start evaluating whether or not you could be together, will your children be ugly, does he look like he'll buy you things? Ridiculous factors that you've been led to believe is the key to happiness. Hell looks don't even come into the equation most times though if your like me 'would I want to see his face 24/7?' is usually a quick way to eliminate people from the pool.
Anyways so you're planning on falling in love. First look at your group of friends. Do any of them appeal to you? If yes, are there any major things about them that you can't stand? Yes? Probably shouldn't date them you'll just end up fighting about it later. If No well then give it ago they might not be interested. If No to the first, mosey on over to a dating website, look at your co-workers, people in your classes or be one of those people who some how find their love at a party (I'm usually having too much fun to care)
Step 2: Getting To Know You
If you actually intend on being in a relationship you might want to get to know him first. Unless you were the person who answered yes to the group of friends then you probably already know each other. Hanging out and going on a date are very different. On dates you're trying to impress each other. If you can hang out with any significant awkwardness or problems then you may very well be able to spend time with each other for the rest of your lives. Which also means hanging out involves TALKING! Relationships involve communication and it should go past "How are you?" "Fine, you?" "Good!" *SNOG* no that's not how it goes you hormonal prepubescents! I expect to be able to hold at least a 30 minute conversation about something more meaningful than the awful Victoria weather without physical contact for this to even be feasible. Which brings me to possibly the most important step!
Step 3: Test Him Out in a Group
Now I don't just mean any group. Like you can't go to the aquarium and see how he handles small children running around. I mean a group where he will be forced to interact, a group like your friends. Hell it SHOULD be your friends! Everyone acts differently in a group as opposed to one on one, some desire to belong I think.
But I do not understand people who don't take friend advice into account. They are called friends for a reason, you should be able to trust them unless your life is like Gossip Girl or Popular. And if your friends don't like him there's probably a reason. And if you don't like that reason you had better have strong justification to sway their opinion of him or else he's going to have to start working super hard to impress them.
Maybe you disagree, "the opinions of my friends shouldn't stop me from loving who I love!" ...Fine...think that way if you want but I'll tell you what's going to happen. You'll become the friend that nobody likes. They won't want to see you because seeing you means seeing him and they don't like him. Or they'll be super standoffish and rude when he's around. And then you'll get upset and cry "I don't understand why none of my friends like him." Well girl they already told you but you chose not to listen. And then you'll spend all your time with him and slowly lose contact with all your friends and then one day he'll be like "I don't know if this is working" so you'll poke holes in his condoms so you get pregnant and then he'll have to stay and marry you (If he's a good man) or he could leave you and your child to suffer and maybe pay child support now and then.
Your Choice.
Step 4: Start Dating:
Now see I've basically addressed this whole post to girls so far, it can go either way take it how you want.
So you've decided this guy isn't totally weird, he's kind of interesting, he's not public enemy number one among your friends. Date him!
Now unless your whole plan in the first place was to strip him down and have your way with him you're actually going to go on some dates. (and if your plan was just to sleep with him you are a crazy closet slut and I'm telling you now you don't need a boyfriend to find someone who will have sex with you. There are tons of desperate people just like you milling around in lust.)
Going on dates include: Having dinner, going to a movie, watching live music, bowling, going for a walk, having coffee, basically any ridiculous classy thing you've seen in a cheesy chick flick. It usually involves spending money but hey you can learn a lot about your significant other by how they spend money.
Of course your date could be cooler and come up with something more original like a picnic, amusement parks, a treasure hunt, one of those scooter tours, whale watching. I don't know what people do when they want original dates. A guy took me hiking once, I was not impressed, I was not aware we were going hiking, I got sweaty and blisters...we don't talk anymore.
And you know once you get the huge spectacle of dating out of the way you can settle into normal coupley things like movie and popcorn at home, video games (if you're into that), nice at home dinner or order in.
Any sort of date like activity that ends with the audience going awww so cute.
And then you go home.
Cue Mama Prude.
Step 5: Pulling on the Naughty Boots
Some may call me a prude for my standards of when to have sex in the relationship but like I said Miss Closety Slut, you don't need a boyfriend to get a man in your bed. The fact that you would go through all that work just to have sex on a first date reinforces me thinking your crazy. ANYHOOOO!
Personally if being in a relationship is important to you and you've been putting time and money into this I think you can wait a month. It's really not that long a time especially if you have other stuff to do like work/homework/dishes. I really don't think you should even see each other everyday, just leads to dependency. And yes in that month I also mean you can't have sleep overs where you just sleep together but don't have sex. That's not fair to anyone, that's just teasing them only there's no goodness and you get to see how ugly they are in the morning.
Of course I know some of you would disagree "But I've been working on getting him for so long, now he's mine and I wanna jump him." (I think you all should know that I type these whiners in a high pitched annoying voice) Well then fine, have a reward wait 1-2 weeks if you're really that desperate to play with your new pogo. And if you're still going to argue with me you're ridiculous, there are people who date much longer than you and don't have sex until marriage. So I'll just be turning a deaf ear to your pitiful complaints.
Step 6: Live as Happily as You Can While Being Considerate
So you're in love. Congrats. I hope you've chosen wisely. But you know, just because you're floating around with pink glasses on in orgasmic bliss does not mean you can stop following the Human Decency Guidelines...ok so maybe they're not an actual set of guide lines but here are my basics for relationships.
- Keep your Public Displays of Attention in check! I don't want to be having a conversation and get interrupted by wandering hands. Keep your hysterical horny sounds at a low volume so they won't distract me when I'm studying or trying to eat. And I have no interest in watching porn in public (or ever really but that's just because I think it's a very strange and sad career)
- Accommodate the feelings of others. Do you have a roommate? Have you asked them if it's ok for your boytoy to come over? What if they wanted to watch T.V in the living room or have a lot of homework? At least take it to your room if you're just going to drop in an announced but hell you should be giving them a chance to run if he's coming over. How about a warning that they might not want to walk around in their underwear because your man is staying the night! Common courtesy don't forget it.
- Broadcast your relationship on social media. If you're not utterly disgusting and gushy about it people won't really care but what is the point in being in a relationship if it's secret!? People are going to find out anyways if you're not being discrete. People are going to judge you for not telling them, wouldn't you rather be on top of the gossip? (Normal people say yes to that question. If you said no it probably doesn't bode well)
So there you go!
Mama's Guide To Wooing by moi! (Can't not make a blog about falling in love without Fergie!)
You should listen to my sound words but if you don't it's not really my problem because I do think relationships are a time waster for lonely people.
Peace out ready people,we'll see if I can bring myself to be nicer next time. <3
Monday, 12 November 2012
Confessions of a Fan Fiction Addict
Hi my name is Cecilly and I am addicted to fanfiction.
It all started a little over a year ago when my friend introduced me to Severus/Hermione fanfiction from Harry Potter. I quickly became obsessed....mostly because I love Snape and Alan Rickman so much. I vowed to myself that it would never go beyond that....but it has. I am ashamed to admit that I have begun to read and support the Snarry ship! (Snape/Harry)
I know! It's so wrong of me! Snape loved his mother, he has his mother's eyes! (not that I support Lily in anyway, I think she was a terrible human being and an even worse friend...but I'm not going to get into an argument with the Jily, Snily shippers of the world)
At first I didn't understand, how could they be together with this prior connection and I couldn't get behind the smut. (I'm not homophobic I just can't fit my mind into the equations of gay sex) but then I found the Marriage Stone! And for those of you who know it are sitting at their computers raising their eyes and crying out for the whereabouts of Josephine Darcy who disappeared years ago in the middle of the most perfect, epic Snarry fic ever written! And we know she had every intention of continuing. She says in the last chapter (chapter 77) that she'll update very soon that she is free from whatever relative visiting function she had been pulled away by....and then nothing....OH THE PAIN AND CRUELTY!!!
Clearly I should have started my expectations much lower because nothing meets its standards....I don't even really read Snarry because there's just nothing very good out there. I want romance and wooing! Which is why I stick to Snamoine but fanfiction has ruined my life.
I see it everywhere! I SHIP REGULAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I DREAM OF BUILDING A FLEET OF COUPLES AND SETTING THEM A SAIL ON THE HIGH HOLY WATERS! This summer I finally cried at Boromir's death in Lord of the Rings because I learnt to ship everyone in the fellowship!
I AM RUINED!! So ruined!!
And even though I think real life sucks and people suck and relationships are a waste of time...I'm contemplating going on a date?
What is wrong with me?
Am I doing it just because people don't think I could? NEWS FLASH! I'm a freaking awesome girlfriend. I can do everything!
We're gonna do all the things all the couples like to do.
We're gonna go to a movie, we're gonna have some dinner, take a walk, look at the moonlight, Anything you want (but baby I got a question...)
No I don't that's just Danko Jones creeping into my head. Remember that song? CLASSIC!
Anyways! For what good reason would I have to have a boyfriend! I already have Alfred! ...He'd probably be super mad at me for writing about this and not telling him... besides he's riding with his friends to Tofino, crazy person....sometimes I need better friends? Yeah the ones I have are pretty good for specific occasions but they're not very good with feed back...
Maybe I just need to sing about it...or crawl up in a ball and cry about it...or watch Pride and Prejudice again....or insult people! That usually makes me feel better.
I was just thinking today about how we need a really good plague to come along and wipe out some of the stupid people! I have a pretty sweet immune system so I think I could hold out until they've found a cure...or it just goes away...but I'm worried that 21st century plagues are just rage viruses and I am NOT dealing with freaking zombies! Yup watch Joss Whedon being awesome and clarifying why I was so afraid of Romney winning president.
It all started a little over a year ago when my friend introduced me to Severus/Hermione fanfiction from Harry Potter. I quickly became obsessed....mostly because I love Snape and Alan Rickman so much. I vowed to myself that it would never go beyond that....but it has. I am ashamed to admit that I have begun to read and support the Snarry ship! (Snape/Harry)
I know! It's so wrong of me! Snape loved his mother, he has his mother's eyes! (not that I support Lily in anyway, I think she was a terrible human being and an even worse friend...but I'm not going to get into an argument with the Jily, Snily shippers of the world)
At first I didn't understand, how could they be together with this prior connection and I couldn't get behind the smut. (I'm not homophobic I just can't fit my mind into the equations of gay sex) but then I found the Marriage Stone! And for those of you who know it are sitting at their computers raising their eyes and crying out for the whereabouts of Josephine Darcy who disappeared years ago in the middle of the most perfect, epic Snarry fic ever written! And we know she had every intention of continuing. She says in the last chapter (chapter 77) that she'll update very soon that she is free from whatever relative visiting function she had been pulled away by....and then nothing....OH THE PAIN AND CRUELTY!!!
Clearly I should have started my expectations much lower because nothing meets its standards....I don't even really read Snarry because there's just nothing very good out there. I want romance and wooing! Which is why I stick to Snamoine but fanfiction has ruined my life.
I see it everywhere! I SHIP REGULAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I DREAM OF BUILDING A FLEET OF COUPLES AND SETTING THEM A SAIL ON THE HIGH HOLY WATERS! This summer I finally cried at Boromir's death in Lord of the Rings because I learnt to ship everyone in the fellowship!
I AM RUINED!! So ruined!!
And even though I think real life sucks and people suck and relationships are a waste of time...I'm contemplating going on a date?
What is wrong with me?
Am I doing it just because people don't think I could? NEWS FLASH! I'm a freaking awesome girlfriend. I can do everything!
We're gonna do all the things all the couples like to do.
We're gonna go to a movie, we're gonna have some dinner, take a walk, look at the moonlight, Anything you want (but baby I got a question...)
No I don't that's just Danko Jones creeping into my head. Remember that song? CLASSIC!
Anyways! For what good reason would I have to have a boyfriend! I already have Alfred! ...He'd probably be super mad at me for writing about this and not telling him... besides he's riding with his friends to Tofino, crazy person....sometimes I need better friends? Yeah the ones I have are pretty good for specific occasions but they're not very good with feed back...
Maybe I just need to sing about it...or crawl up in a ball and cry about it...or watch Pride and Prejudice again....or insult people! That usually makes me feel better.
I was just thinking today about how we need a really good plague to come along and wipe out some of the stupid people! I have a pretty sweet immune system so I think I could hold out until they've found a cure...or it just goes away...but I'm worried that 21st century plagues are just rage viruses and I am NOT dealing with freaking zombies! Yup watch Joss Whedon being awesome and clarifying why I was so afraid of Romney winning president.
Whatever the Obama's are awesome.
I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. So a summary of what has been discussed here today:
- Yes I think I should have the right to evaluate each human's intelligence and determine if they should have the privilege of living in a 1st, 2nd or 3rd world country with the stupidest humans earning a special category of "On the Moon far away from me and the rest of society so they can't infect us with their stupidity"
- Yes I'm glad that Obama won and that Michelle can continue to be a good role model to ladies, but especially the black ones, so that they no longer have to look to Oprah and her soul OWNing tv shows for guidance.
- Yes I think relationships are a stupid waste of time but
- No I have not decided whether or not I should go on a date from this post...computer screens don't give very good feed back...maybe a combo of ask.com and tumblr will help me sort through this dilemma.
- Yes fan fiction is a thing if you didn't know that already, most of your friends are probably closet readers, some may even read 50 Shades of Grey which is Twilight fanfiction that renamed the characters and became mommy porn. Though I only limit myself to Harry Potter pairings someone one day might write something almost as deserving as my HP love and I will concede to ship them as well.
- No I am not at all adverse to becoming a old lady with nothing but my fanfiction to keep me alive. At least it's not cats, I will save money on cat food and won't die of a hair ball that slowly develops in my esophagus over years because my cats shed so much. (SO THERE YOU CRAZY OLD CAT LADIES GET A REAL OBSESSION!)
Alright 6 is too many numbers. I'm stopping. I'm going to bed. I think this is all part of the regular mid-November reading break crisis that overwhelms me every year...not aided by the fact that I have to see the fine arts counselor tomorrow who will most likely tell me I'm no where near graduation and I suck at life...
JOYS!
So I'll just spiral back down into the pit of despair and fan fiction which is an excellent absorber of pathetic spirits and self doubts.
Oh well!
Good night world
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