ANCHORS AWEIGH!

Someone once tried to convince me that boats that dropped anchors just cut those anchors loose after using them and carried on their way leading me to believe that the ocean floor must be incredibly riddled with anchors.
But in choosing this title I did some research and that's not true.
Also this post has nothing more to do with anchors or ships.

It's about fucking packing and moving.
Cause I am going INSANE people!
and my back hurts from lifting and cleaning.

I don't like packing.
There was a time as a child that I did but I'm pretty sure that's because I was excited to go camping or something.
Now I am old and tired of packing.
It's a pain! (literally)

And Earl has already helped me move to car loads but there's still tons and tons of stuff!
And my mother goes, Cecilly what are you sending home?
And I go "Hell I don't know. I don't know what I need. You'll take things and then I'll realize I really wanted those things and I'll be more annoyed!"

It probably doesn't help that there are a bunch of other things I have to do to:
Find a job- the goal was to find a job by May....look it's May 2nd. That failed. But actually if I'm not packing, I'm applying and I have applied to at least 50 jobs online which might be my problem but they say apply online........please kill me.
Go to a wedding- ok so the weddings not til Friday and it's in Maple Ridge so it shouldn't really be effecting me but I can't decide what to wear to it so I can't pack my clothes...also I'm going to need a hell of a lot more hangers because I'm losing a dresser and gaining a walk in closet.
But the problem with that is I don't have money. Like I might have 15$ in total to spend over the course of May if I don't get a job the entirety of May and that's with my student line of credit and credit card factored in. I will have just enough for the rent of June and that stupid Shaw bill.

Of course Earl is just like you're fine, calm down you'll get a job. Which is very nice of him but still freaking out.

I'm moving in with Aurora which means no one needs to travel to drink, I'm going to have a balcony so like omg sunlight! A walk in closet which is necessary for the amount of stuff I have, though I swear all my clothes used to be able to fit in 3 suitcases.
But aside from all that above, and the fact that I have to carry some very heavy book cases tomorrow, there's only one thing I'm dreading.

Carpet.

I fucking hate carpet, probably because the majority of my life growing up I walked on tile or hardwood flooring. The only reason I haven't gone crazy in my basement suit is because the carpet is in that really low like worn out state.
But soon I'll be walking on some tall carpet. Like my toes could get lost in it tall. I criiiiiiinge. Luckily I'm going to Ridge for that wedding so I'm gunna have to grab me some slippers.

And
(I'm sorry girl but really!)
I'm not going to name names cause she knows she lived there.
I can't handle dirty carpet, on floors or women, and this room was sooooooooooo dirty!
Bobby pins all over the place.
As a woman I don't know why you're not taking those with you but that's fine I'll use em.
But the faux pas.

FAUX PAS!

Friends do not make their friends pick up their dirty used q-tips!!
THAT'S SO WRONG!!!
Disgusting and wrong!!!!!!!

But. I'm a big girl.
I've handled worse than the ear wax from one of my closests friend's ears.

And Aurora's vaccuum is miiiiiiiiiiiighty powerful let me tell you.

Now. My mother is almost here and the house is still not ready
and as much as I'd rather be camping right now I must
WEIGH ANCHOR!!

Old Ladies Dancing

Well...it's happening.
I'm starting to look old.

Last night was my dear friend's birthday, she hasn't been mentioned yet but I'm going to call her Daisy. I was gunna call her Waltella but that's not very cute and she's pretty adorbs so I'm gunna name her after that duck.
So it was her birthday. She's turning 22. Having a little quarter life crisis which is normal! I mean I had mine at 20 it sucks. You cry a lot cause you've accomplished nothing thus far in your life. It's very dramatic!

So we went to a club called Touch, it's pretty nice I like it, plays decent music. But you know people get weird when they're drunk and in dark rooms. Here's what I noticed while at the club last night:

1: Either everyone my age looked hella mature at 19 or kids just aren't aging now adays. Those are really the only two options unless victoria's fake id scanner is on the fritz and they're letting 16 year old girls in the club now...it's weird it's creepy I don't like it.

2: I'm wearing knee high boots, leggins and a dress that completely covers me up. I am 90% covered. So why are you hitting on me? Obviously if I was looking for some attention I would be showing some skin but I was just there to dance. Mabe that's the problem now. I stick out cause I'm so covered up people are curious to see what's going on underneath garnering me more attention than less....Also to that blond bobbed girl, should she ever come upon this post. What the hell?! I hit you by accident and said sorry. I didn't know that was some secret invitation for your advances. Did I seem interested? I'm sorry if I did cause I was not!

3: Those people that wear hoodies and toques and scarves to in the club! IT'S BOILING IN THERE! HOW ARE YOU NOT DYING!! though truth be told if you won't take this as a race thing, most of them aren't white people and may come from very warm places so they may actually be cold. But it's very strange.

4: Club music has definitely changed since I was in first year there's a lot more of what I can only describe as bass drops. Which are excellent and exciting but kind of just really funny if you watch the crowd who are just giving it there all and then there's like this big moment of intake, pause everyone's hands go up and woosh crash to the ground and keep dancing. Very intriguing.

5: Why would you be playing the hockey game in a club? True there were several old men who's presence confused me but really. I'm trying to dance and of course Priscilla's staring off into the distance at the scores!

6: When did Victoria get so classy we needed those people who work in bathrooms, 6 different perfumes and a bowl of lollipops? the hell.

There were other things that I can't remember now but all in all it was a good night I must say. Should go dancing more often. Especially when it's free cover for students on saturdays!

The McDonalds afterwards wasn't too shabby either though there were some security there cause I guess this girl tried to steal something. But the guards were nice. Didn't mind that Aurora and Priscilla were taking bets on which of them would win in a fight. One even showed off his special security gloves to us. I was expecting them to be like steel knuckled but I couldn't tell...might have been cause I was drunk.
Probs
Well school starts again tomorrow so don't have any hopes for me to post frequently until May.

The Burden of Being Single

Another Summer draws to a close and soon I will be safe on my island of singles awareness.
But NOT without one last rousing party at my uncles house to celebrate my cousins recent marriage....
It's weird how marriage instigates the talk and desire for more marriages.
Like I know my last post was all about wanting to go to marriage and hoping my Gnomes will invite all of us poor ditch folk to her countrychic wedding but that was other people getting married....I don't want to get married
But at a wedding reception, the old ladies get restless you know and alas pairing starts to happen.
It began for me with that guess who you are game where they stick celebrity names on your back and you have to guess who you are. Of course everyone is a couple. I originally was Angelina Jolie but I found the Brad Pitt who's name was really Brad , and his girl friend was Beyonce. So naturally I switched with them so I could be QUEEN B!
....but then I met my Jay-z. A very nice man, slightly older than me, he really resembled a tall hobbit all around perfect husband material except the no idea what he's doing with his life  which can be easily overlooked because he's RICH!
This was enough to bring out the long forgotten match maker in my mother. Bent and determined this woman did everything she could to insure we met each other (like we hugged when we realized we were paired which I thought was good enough but noooo).
She succeeded really easily because he went to UVic and I go to UVic sooooo there you go. Poor man I'm sure he had better things to do and cooler people to talk to though I was pretty damn cute tonight. But it just got me thinking of all those poor single people out there who are hounded after
My friend P-Bob is at a wedding tonight and there's a man there who looks like Alexander Skarsgard which is just like too freaking gorgeous for words right there, a real panty dropper. But her mother is going around trying to figure out if he's single.
Can you imagine being that man?
Having 50 something year old women running around and trying to find out your life story so that they can pass you off onto their single daughters?
How sad and tedious must your life be!
Of course everyone wants a man with a body and smile like ASkars but sometimes you just gotta step back and go is he worth it?
He could be beautiful but homeless like the guy on America's Next Top Model.
Beautiful, but I'd rather have a man who provides for my child not just attractive grandchildren that live in an abandoned box under the Portman Bridge!
Thank God in 7 hours I will be up and motoring to that ferry terminal so I can be surrounded by people in relationships who are too self absorbed to give a rats tail that I spend my weekends watching Pride and Prejudice with a bottle of wine!
<3

Goodbye My Russian Soldier

A tragic time has befallen Victoria my friends.
Sergei, my Russian soldier, after months of deliberation and not knowing what the heck he wants to do with his life, has returned to Calgary.
Of course he's not really Russian, maybe like a 15th, he's more British and full of Rule Britannia pride. And he's for sures not a soldier, though while he was trying to decide what to do with his life he contemplated joining the air force. Luckily he didn't cause he would have been eaten alive and he's much too dainty for a soldiers life. But we saw this really messed up play in January where this mother kept calling her son her Russian soldier and it kind of just stuck.
Anyways, he's returned to his land of conservative voters, cowboys and oil sands to become more corrupt than he already is. And he's left me here to die with the hipsters.
No longer will I have someone to drink wine with on the couch as we watch Poirot and plan our victorian home as elderly people. (It was going to be super nice)
No longer will we walk down the street and people will ask if that was my boyfriend. Then which depending on the person I will either laugh because Sergei is as gay as the day is long or go along with it and be like YES AND I'VE NEVER LOVED A MAN MORE to insure that they leave me alone on the subject of relationships.
No, he hast abandoned me! Left me to suffer and to listen to everyone's pitiful problems on my own.
What is to become of me now!!!

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

I have some spare time here and I'm not really sleepy so I'd like to address a little something.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.

Stress Fractures

Oh hey world,

Clearly I have no interest in being on top of things right now so I'll just post in my blog instead of doing those stressful things.

So the past few days I've been apprenticing at a theater here in Victoria. And you know how when you get a new job you feel like you should be doing something, proving your worth....but there's like literally nothing for me to do so I just kind of stand. FOR HOURS!

The other night was opening and there were all these opera people around. I will tell you now, opera audiences are the worst most snobby above anyone else audience people you'll ever meet. Yes they applaud wildly, they give the act of watching opera their all. But they can just be soooooo rude and snippity. Anyways, so for opening night I basically stood for 12 hours. In heels, flat heels mind you that are usually very comfy but on this occasion decided to take me out.

My feet feel like all those snooty opera goers looked at little apprentice me standing in the corner and went

over and over and over again.

So me and some smart dancer type people have concluded that I probably have stress fractures in my feet. I can't even begin to explain the pain. It's constantly throbbing and I've made sure to stand as little as possible today. 

I've taken to pushing myself around my basement suite by using only my heels on my rolling chair. I kinda look like this

Only I'm super tired so I'm going much slower and some of my floor is carpeting so I kind of just hit that and stop. I just want my feet to stop hurting, massaging them hurts, stretching them hurts, wiggling my toes hurts. Pretty much everything hurts them accept heat packs and bubble baths.

And it's like people know my feet are super messed up so they're going around making my life as difficult as possible.

I went on a field trip today for my first year english class...to the library...the place where I work. And this dreary man who really knew nothing about the library tried to educate me and then made me walk down and back up the flights of stairs! Naturally I went to my teacher before this tour and was like "oh hey I work here, please don't make me go on this tour!" and he was like "NOPE! We're gunna have fun!" But all we got were some nasty glares in the silent area.

It doesn't help that last night closing at the library this rude kid wouldn't leave and then I'm pretty sure was hiding and now I don't even know if he actually left after I thought he left. He could have just come back upstairs when I was on a different floor! 

AND IT'S SO RUDE! People have no regard for me as a human, they just have this stupid goal of staying in the library over night which I can't image would be any fun at all. So my feet hurt more and more.

Now I have to go find some comfortable shoes to wear for the rest of march for this apprenticeship so my feet don't break.

I also have a ton of homework I have no interest in doing and won't be doing because I'm going to bed as soon as I finish writing this. My milk is going to go bad tomorrow which means I have to get more

and it's all just too much!

I need a caregiver! My friend Monica seems to think I just need a boyfriend but in my experience they generally don't do anything of use when you need them. No I need a caregiver. Someone to wash my dishes and make me food and hell, straighten my hair for me because my arms are too tired to reach.

Maybe I'll go over to the nursing department and ask if anyone needs some work experience (unpaid of course)  It would definitely make my life easier.

Right now I feel like this

Night!

Woop! Woop! It's Da Sound of Da Police!

Alright peeps.
So legit why I'm posting this song is because
1-I think it's funny
2-I've solved my stalker problems! (as far as I know)

So if you read my last 2 posts I told you about those two guys in the library that have been like following me and trying to get me to go out with them and just generally pissing me off.
Not to mention their super freaking creepy because they'll see me come in on the first floor and go hide some where else on another floor and wait for me to get to them and then try to talk me up.
Soops creepy.
So I was closing on Sunday and I was like you know what! I've had enough!
I've had a long day already. I don't need this creeps bothering me.
So I walk in the library.
I see them.
They see me.
They start their hiding games.
I go looking for them.
I find them in bottom floor stacks just creepin, pretending to study.
I don't even play man
I walk up to them and I tell them that if they don't leave me alone I will tell Campus Security. I will get a harassment claim against them. And I will get them expelled from school for threatening me and endangering a university employee.
They were pretty shocked.
I also know, because I went to this stupid lecture on visas for my stupid first year english class that they're not canadian
They're exchange students
So if they get expelled for harassment then they probably get deported and can never come back...I think they'll freaking leave me alone now.
HA!
Ha ha!
HA!
I am so happy!
Peace. <3

Too Black for My White Family

Wellllllll
Christmas happened.
Usually one of my most dreaded times of the year next to the birthdays of other family members. I'm not sure if it's because I'm the second youngest grandchild, my sister being the youngest or if my father's dislike of people is so embedded in me that I also hate people gatherings...probably a combo.
So every year about 6 times a year I have to go and sit and endure the old people questionings of if I like school have I seen my extended family in Victoria (of course not) what I plan on doing when I graduate blah blah blah blah I don't care. And no one really cares about the answer so I don't know why they insist on bothering me so.
BUT THIS YEAR! Yes I was most clever!
My parents went to a friends open house before family dinner and I was like I could go....but I would rather not be miserable for 10 hours, 6 hours is enough for me thanks. Which meant I had to bring the classic buns  to be baked mother said show up around 5:30...cause dinner is supposed to start around 6 and they take about 15 minutes to bake....dinner never starts on time.
So I showed up at 5. Extra early and....volunteered in the kitchen!
PURE GENIUS!! The kitchen is a safe place as long as you're working in it because my uncle just shoos the people who shouldn't be in there out which means they can't talk to me! Can't bombard me with inane questions! Can't demand why I'm single with no intention of getting married! AHAHAHA I was brilliant, brilliant BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!
And of course I was right when I said dinner wouldn't start til 7:30, it was like 6 and my uncles like no no, hold off on the potatoes there aren't enough people here yet.
But see the problem is everyone expects dinner to start late so they just show up right before 7 expecting to be fed and not having to wait. And then the old people just descend! They see the food and they go for it even though it's not all out yet. Sigh old people but whatever. If their mouths are full they still can't talk to me.
Ugh! but then I found out that I don't get to go to my cousins wedding in the summer! I am sooooo upset! I've been waiting for these weddings, multiple cousins have decided it's time to start those things called families...ridiculous but whatever it's not my life and they're all late 20s early 30s so I guess they should get on that if they don't want to die alone....like I will be!
Pft, quelle domage. Whatever will I do keeping all my money...or all my poverty to myself and not have to deal with someone stealing my blankets and nagging me about kids.
I think I'll live.
but anyways so my cousin and his getting married. Perfectly fine because he's awesome and his fiance is pretty awesome too but as we were talking, I honestly don't know what I said because it's just so second nature now that  my cousin was like "wow you just went full black there"
And it's just another reminder of how much I've changed since going to UVic.
I was so white when I went to school but uvic is almost a completely white campus and white people have expectations. I have become so ridiculously sassy at school because that's what people want, no complaints I quite like it.
Also it gives me a cover to be rude because they really can't tell the difference.
Everyone's all Cecilly is so sassy, hence nickname Sassily but really I'm just rude or I hate you but think what you want. I find it hilarious.
But alas here we are on the last day of 2012.
And though I had wished for the world to end on the 21st I guess I will be forced to live another year. (21 this year, fun fun.)
We'll see how I fair because right now the world isn't looking good.
If the rumors are true....2013 will bring the birth of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's child=DEMON SPAWN
So maybe the Mayans were a year off?
Nah probably not but it did serve for some excellent tumblring while it lasted.
I took Ernesta and Anita to the states yesterday for shopping. It was the bomb! not literally there were no bombs...But we got a ton of Vanilla Coke.
Went to a real 5 Guys Burgers and Fries.
Bought a ton of clothes....it was a good day.
Ernesta is an english major and rarely goes to the states so she was just freaking out over all the things it was so cute.
I'm going to miss my Vancouver friends when I go back to school in a couple of days but I gotta go back to school and I miss my island friends too. Plus there are quite a few things that have gone down since I left and it's catch up time...watch out UVic I'm coming for you!

Basically all I can ask of 2013 is that it not snow so much, better music with less dubstep, give Taylor Swift at least 3 more boyfriends by next year so she can continue to make terrible yet catchy music, Money would be nice but I've never received it when I've wished for it so I'll just keep the day dreams where they are.
Either way I've got some good ideas for 2013. We'll see if they happen.
And if you keep reading this into the New Years, you'll be privy to if they happen.

The World Didn't End and So This is Christmas

SIGH WORLD!!!!
As you may have noticed the world did NOT end on the 21st though I wished on all the shooting stars and 11:11s that came my way. This I find most distressing.
But why Cecilly would you want the world to end? It's such a happy place full of loved ones and pretty things?
....meh
You know, I like my friends (Some of them more than others) but if the world ended I think we could all get over it. Or maybe hang out in the after life whatever that may be. Or our bodies could rot together if you're into that kind of thing but by the 21st I had basically seen them all. I think the only person that really matters whom I still haven't seen is Gnomes but I'm sure there's internet in Heaven. She could have sent me an e-card or something.
And had the world ended on the 21st I would have been very intoxicated with a group of people who I find mostly tolerable though I constantly question why we still meet every break. Do you have those friends?
Maybe I just really don't like people, it wouldn't be the first time I've thought this. But let's think of some of the great things that would have happened had the world ended.
Good Things:

1. All of you with student loans wouldn't have to pay them back.
2. You'd never have to go to work or school or job hunting ever again!
3. Kristen Stewart would also be dead!
4. 50 Shades of Grey would never be made into a movie!!!
5. If you had delayed Christmas shopping you wouldn't have to go buy people things!!!!

On that last one, Christmas is tomorrow or if you're in BC in an hour and 15 minutes. That's too close.

If you haven't gone shopping yet I've got news my friend, you're screwed! Unless you're not giving out presents until the new year...then you've got time. 

But ugh! Christmas! Ernesta and I were talking about why we can't stand the thing anymore and we're not sure if it's family, gift giving or the general bitterness of growing up.

If you're under 18 and reading this, yes growing up sucks! Hold on to that youthfulness, sneaking out, under age drinking in parks on playgrounds and stuff! Those are the good times! And if you're looking forward to clubbing stop! It's just a bunch of sweaty people grinding on each other totally plastered. But if you find or know of a club that is just straight up dancing let me know, I wanna go.

But anyways back to Christmas. So we're bitter.

Bitter that we can't afford anything worth wild to give our families or friends with jobs. Annoyed that we have to see that side of the family we've been avoiding for months (Most of my family this year has either gotten engaged, pregnant or very recently dumped....ring the gongs the shows about to start). 

All in all this leads to the general student attitude of hating Christmas and commercialized holidays and materialism but there is literally nothing you can do. 

And so this is Christmas. 

• Escaping with Ernesta and Sharona to do as many fun things as possible, like the Stanley Park Christmas train today. We went with all the children and oohed and aahed and laughed. 
• Reading fanfiction when at home and again failing to explain to my father the concept.
• Failing to write anything because my brain clearly only wants to be creative when driving or moving around which isn't good for writing things out by hand.
• And not having knitting needles to start knitting things with all the yarn I bought....

Allllllllll the cheer.

I wonder how long these scroogey feelings will last...Either way I'm ready to get out of Maple Ridge and back to my safe island of Victoria. I'm sure Gumpette and Aurora will have plenty of wonderful stories to tell me that will lighten my mood.

To those of you who do still love this holiday I wish you the best of luck.

To those in the boat with me, put a little rum in that egg nog I promise it helps.