Soo I had a really depressing realization the other day
Everyone that I've ever dated is either engaged or married...
and I'm just over here twiddling my thumbs apparently.
Now if you want to be reasonable you could go "But come now Cecilly most of them are 3-5 years older than you. That puts them at 26 years old! That's a perfectly good time to start thinking about settling down"
....Well that didn't sound any more reasonable when I typed it out.
Married at 28, sure
26?
What is wrong with you! You just left 25! You're hardly an adult let alone ready to take on adult things like marriage!!
Even worse, a lot of them were married soon after they started going to university or graduated...2 of them married french girls though one was Parisian and the other from Montreal...weird
(this post is just becoming a realizations post)
3 Of them are getting married to the girl they dated right after me...
You might remember I told you all about my stupid ex from like grade 10/11 who continuously runs away from me (read about it in Encountering Exes) Well he still runs away from me which is ridiculous in itself
But apparently him and his girlfriend recently got engaged in September which everyone else had to tell me of course because we're not facebook friends...for obvious reasons like I tried to send his soul to hell with premarital sex (he's crazy catholic and maybe I should be grateful I didn't succeed)
I find it's even more awkward when he tries to run away with his fiance in tow!
Well more comical
Because she obviously has no idea what's going on.
Like what the hell am I going to do?
Summon a demon to destroy you? (would if I could ;))
But even more recently than that on the engagement calendar!
Remember Alfred!! The most perfect thing in my life last year? The reason my dishes never get done anymore!
Well if you recall in January, he went off with this girl Katleen (not like Kaitlyn. Literally Kat- Leen the fuck)
And I stood by going yes totally reasonable. She's much better suited for you!
Well I've heard it from a mutual source that he planned to propose to her Thanksgiving Monday! On the drive home near Duncan! Like flabbergasted am I!!
Do I think they're well suited?
Yes
But like...REALLY!?
No confirmation yet on whether or not that actually happened but it's pretty believable knowing Alfred...
So that's where I stand...
Over here.
Alone!
The only ex who's relationship status I don't know I think is either dead. Or probably has like 4 kids by now because he's that kind of white trash...or probably no children and alone because he's done too many drugs and now he's impotent....Who can really say?
No regrets there at least.
But of course if I stopped wollowing for a minute I would remember all the reasons I am alone, want to be alone, choose to be alone and think damn girl, you're lucky...
But it's still depressing
I feel like that Dane Cook movie with Jessica Alba I think it is and every woman he sleeps with even that really gross really fat one gets married and all he wants is Jessica Alba but he doesn't want her to marry someone else....
Well maybe it's best they all marry someone else...
And I can continue my never ending quest to be a call girl!
AHAHA!
Peace out Blogpeeps
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Sunday, 1 September 2013
The Burden of Being Single
Another Summer draws to a close and soon I will be safe on my island of singles awareness.
But NOT without one last rousing party at my uncles house to celebrate my cousins recent marriage....
It's weird how marriage instigates the talk and desire for more marriages.
Like I know my last post was all about wanting to go to marriage and hoping my Gnomes will invite all of us poor ditch folk to her countrychic wedding but that was other people getting married....I don't want to get married
But at a wedding reception, the old ladies get restless you know and alas pairing starts to happen.
It began for me with that guess who you are game where they stick celebrity names on your back and you have to guess who you are. Of course everyone is a couple. I originally was Angelina Jolie but I found the Brad Pitt who's name was really Brad , and his girl friend was Beyonce. So naturally I switched with them so I could be QUEEN B!
....but then I met my Jay-z. A very nice man, slightly older than me, he really resembled a tall hobbit all around perfect husband material except the no idea what he's doing with his life which can be easily overlooked because he's RICH!
This was enough to bring out the long forgotten match maker in my mother. Bent and determined this woman did everything she could to insure we met each other (like we hugged when we realized we were paired which I thought was good enough but noooo).
She succeeded really easily because he went to UVic and I go to UVic sooooo there you go. Poor man I'm sure he had better things to do and cooler people to talk to though I was pretty damn cute tonight. But it just got me thinking of all those poor single people out there who are hounded after
My friend P-Bob is at a wedding tonight and there's a man there who looks like Alexander Skarsgard which is just like too freaking gorgeous for words right there, a real panty dropper. But her mother is going around trying to figure out if he's single.
Can you imagine being that man?
Having 50 something year old women running around and trying to find out your life story so that they can pass you off onto their single daughters?
How sad and tedious must your life be!
Of course everyone wants a man with a body and smile like ASkars but sometimes you just gotta step back and go is he worth it?
He could be beautiful but homeless like the guy on America's Next Top Model.
Beautiful, but I'd rather have a man who provides for my child not just attractive grandchildren that live in an abandoned box under the Portman Bridge!
Thank God in 7 hours I will be up and motoring to that ferry terminal so I can be surrounded by people in relationships who are too self absorbed to give a rats tail that I spend my weekends watching Pride and Prejudice with a bottle of wine!
<3
But NOT without one last rousing party at my uncles house to celebrate my cousins recent marriage....
It's weird how marriage instigates the talk and desire for more marriages.
Like I know my last post was all about wanting to go to marriage and hoping my Gnomes will invite all of us poor ditch folk to her countrychic wedding but that was other people getting married....I don't want to get married
But at a wedding reception, the old ladies get restless you know and alas pairing starts to happen.
It began for me with that guess who you are game where they stick celebrity names on your back and you have to guess who you are. Of course everyone is a couple. I originally was Angelina Jolie but I found the Brad Pitt who's name was really Brad , and his girl friend was Beyonce. So naturally I switched with them so I could be QUEEN B!
....but then I met my Jay-z. A very nice man, slightly older than me, he really resembled a tall hobbit all around perfect husband material except the no idea what he's doing with his life which can be easily overlooked because he's RICH!
This was enough to bring out the long forgotten match maker in my mother. Bent and determined this woman did everything she could to insure we met each other (like we hugged when we realized we were paired which I thought was good enough but noooo).
She succeeded really easily because he went to UVic and I go to UVic sooooo there you go. Poor man I'm sure he had better things to do and cooler people to talk to though I was pretty damn cute tonight. But it just got me thinking of all those poor single people out there who are hounded after
My friend P-Bob is at a wedding tonight and there's a man there who looks like Alexander Skarsgard which is just like too freaking gorgeous for words right there, a real panty dropper. But her mother is going around trying to figure out if he's single.
Can you imagine being that man?
Having 50 something year old women running around and trying to find out your life story so that they can pass you off onto their single daughters?
How sad and tedious must your life be!
Of course everyone wants a man with a body and smile like ASkars but sometimes you just gotta step back and go is he worth it?
He could be beautiful but homeless like the guy on America's Next Top Model.
Beautiful, but I'd rather have a man who provides for my child not just attractive grandchildren that live in an abandoned box under the Portman Bridge!
Thank God in 7 hours I will be up and motoring to that ferry terminal so I can be surrounded by people in relationships who are too self absorbed to give a rats tail that I spend my weekends watching Pride and Prejudice with a bottle of wine!
<3
Saturday, 17 August 2013
The Annual Reality Check Meeting
Long time no post hey?
Well I was going to post after Vegas and about travelling with friends and all that but it's Summer so I decided to let it lie. It's August now and school will be here sooner than later (thank god)! and the past few days have been such a rollercoaster that I thought I'd post a little something.
It started with what I'm coming to see as the annual reality check discussion with my father. I'm graduating this year so it was especially firm that come April the world will be a real thing. Jobs will be a real thing. Fun will never happen again. And as per usual my very real debt will be a very real problem.
Cue Annual Stressed Out All Nighter.
This summer I worked as a flagger. It was pretty great. I had a lot of fun. Met lots of really great people but it's not something I would be able to do without living at home. When I graduate I will not have a car or gas money, or even money for insurance which means I'll need to find something I can bus to which means like minimum wage which means I'll forever be poor because I'll only make enough money to pay rent and buy bus fares.
And the stress ball keeps rolling.
But then this morning I got a message which picked that roller coaster off it's tracks and put it on a more child friendly route with minor bumps and turns. One of my friends is dating this boy (whom I don't know) and in the message she wrote expect wedding invitations!
Now yes she totally could have been joking but I was reminded of a line in The Help
Of course my mother had to ruin it with a "well none of your other friends have boyfriends. Besides you might think to get one yourself."
Yeah.
Right.
After all I went through last year, am I about to go husband hunting? No.
I'm still waiting for the message from Alfred letting me know in the politest way he can that he and his crazed girlfriend are getting married. I have no doubt it will arrive sometime before December if not in October.
No I fancy myself after Skeeter
Her last minute wedding wasn't that bad either.
I could do that.
But you know
Graduate first.
Think of all that other life stuff later.
Well I was going to post after Vegas and about travelling with friends and all that but it's Summer so I decided to let it lie. It's August now and school will be here sooner than later (thank god)! and the past few days have been such a rollercoaster that I thought I'd post a little something.
It started with what I'm coming to see as the annual reality check discussion with my father. I'm graduating this year so it was especially firm that come April the world will be a real thing. Jobs will be a real thing. Fun will never happen again. And as per usual my very real debt will be a very real problem.
Cue Annual Stressed Out All Nighter.
This summer I worked as a flagger. It was pretty great. I had a lot of fun. Met lots of really great people but it's not something I would be able to do without living at home. When I graduate I will not have a car or gas money, or even money for insurance which means I'll need to find something I can bus to which means like minimum wage which means I'll forever be poor because I'll only make enough money to pay rent and buy bus fares.
And the stress ball keeps rolling.
But then this morning I got a message which picked that roller coaster off it's tracks and put it on a more child friendly route with minor bumps and turns. One of my friends is dating this boy (whom I don't know) and in the message she wrote expect wedding invitations!
Now yes she totally could have been joking but I was reminded of a line in The Help
Once Miss Hilly had a baby, every girl at the bridge table had to have one, too.But of course most babies don't happen until the girls get married! I am passing into the age when everyone starts getting married!!! And that makes me so happy! I love weddings, and pretty dresses and happy couples and crying!! And that's all about to start! And I'm ready for it! I need something to look forward to in all my debt misery!
Of course my mother had to ruin it with a "well none of your other friends have boyfriends. Besides you might think to get one yourself."
Yeah.
Right.
After all I went through last year, am I about to go husband hunting? No.
I'm still waiting for the message from Alfred letting me know in the politest way he can that he and his crazed girlfriend are getting married. I have no doubt it will arrive sometime before December if not in October.
No I fancy myself after Skeeter
No babies...No man...And not lookin'.
Sometimes I think I'll end up like Jessa from Girls, who marries that guy from The IT Crowd/Bridesmaids, who was a total skeezeball at the bar but is rich, older, and can take her all over the world. She's using him and we all know it. Hell even if I knew I was using him I'd tell my conscience to peace out. I could go all over the world and the only catch is I'd have to be married to a creep.Her last minute wedding wasn't that bad either.
I could do that.
But you know
Graduate first.
Think of all that other life stuff later.
Monday, 25 March 2013
When Nuns Retire
Sooooo...
Remember way back when and I wrote that blog post about wanting to run off and become a nun?
I've changed my mind!
I've been learning a lot about nuns in the past month and let's get real. It's not for me.
First you have to like pledge yourself to God.
Then think about being a nun for like 4 years (one of those years you have to take a vow of silence!!!!)
Then you're like "yeah I still wanna be a nun"
AND THEN YOU MARRY GOD!!!!!!!
The whole reason I was going to join the nunnery was to avoid relationships!!
I don't want to get married to GOD!?!
Let alone spend a year silent...so that won't be happen.
Plus I just learned all about nun retirement.
Let me explain!
So as a theater department we have a props shop. And recently this beautiful living room set was donated, like the couches you would see in a Pride and Prejudice sitting room!
And I asked my Gumpette who works in props where it came from....And she said "A retirement home for nuns"
....
LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT HERE PEOPLE!!
NUNS!
DON'T!
RETIRE!
They do not! you can argue it out with me but I've had a lengthy discussion with several people and it's just not done!
Being a nun is a full time job. Every breath. Every waking moment that these nuns are alive are dedicated to being nuns!
They pray. They walk around thinking about their husband God. They do the nunnery version of housework. You know working in the garden and cleaning tables and painting bedrooms and what not. And they do this until they die!!
Yes you're right... nuns get old just like normal people. But when this happens, the just go chill in the nunnery hospital or go to The Building Where Nuns Go To Die Home (or Nun Hospice my friend likes to call it) but this is by no means! In no way! A retirement home!!!
Believe you me those nuns are stillllllll praying! Until they kick it!
And this is why nuns don't retire:
THEY CAN'T!
Think about retirement. When most people retire they have a fair amount of money saved up, they get a pension, they wake up at home one day and just don't have to go to work. They might putter around their garden, sit on the porch and drink lemonade, and pretty much just live off their retirement money until they die or have to find a new job or go poor.
Nuns can't do that because they work for free! Or the love of God if you prefer. But they in no way make any money. They garden all the time, take time to do other things and pray some more.
But if the nun wanted to retire and decided to collect up her life savings and peace out to a home that doesn't exist outside the nunnery she'd have a pretty freaking difficult time! Let me tell you!
She has no money so she can't buy a house, can't buy food, has been gardening for hella eva! She'll be out on the streets in no time!
Which is why they keep you in the Nun Hospice when you're too old to garden so that you can pray in bed until finally you can 'retire' AKA DIE! and go hang out with God.
That's retirement! Finally getting to be with your husband after years of servitude.
(Sucks if you ask me)
And the only way you can stop being a nun is if you
A) get kicked out like Maria in The Sound of Music because she's too happy and sing songy to be in the nunnery they send her off to go become the mother of some captain's 7 kids.
B) Leave/Run away like Audrey Hepburn in The Nun's Story. Which Walt assure me ends with Hepburn walking down an alley way and not going to hell for her betrayal.
So thanks no thanks.
I will deal with the idiots of the planet, continue speaking, and avoid nunneries.
They're just not for me.
Remember way back when and I wrote that blog post about wanting to run off and become a nun?
I've changed my mind!
I've been learning a lot about nuns in the past month and let's get real. It's not for me.
First you have to like pledge yourself to God.
Then think about being a nun for like 4 years (one of those years you have to take a vow of silence!!!!)
Then you're like "yeah I still wanna be a nun"
AND THEN YOU MARRY GOD!!!!!!!
The whole reason I was going to join the nunnery was to avoid relationships!!
I don't want to get married to GOD!?!
Let alone spend a year silent...so that won't be happen.
Plus I just learned all about nun retirement.
Let me explain!
So as a theater department we have a props shop. And recently this beautiful living room set was donated, like the couches you would see in a Pride and Prejudice sitting room!
And I asked my Gumpette who works in props where it came from....And she said "A retirement home for nuns"
....
LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT HERE PEOPLE!!
NUNS!
DON'T!
RETIRE!
They do not! you can argue it out with me but I've had a lengthy discussion with several people and it's just not done!
Being a nun is a full time job. Every breath. Every waking moment that these nuns are alive are dedicated to being nuns!
They pray. They walk around thinking about their husband God. They do the nunnery version of housework. You know working in the garden and cleaning tables and painting bedrooms and what not. And they do this until they die!!
Yes you're right... nuns get old just like normal people. But when this happens, the just go chill in the nunnery hospital or go to The Building Where Nuns Go To Die Home (or Nun Hospice my friend likes to call it) but this is by no means! In no way! A retirement home!!!
Believe you me those nuns are stillllllll praying! Until they kick it!
And this is why nuns don't retire:
THEY CAN'T!
Think about retirement. When most people retire they have a fair amount of money saved up, they get a pension, they wake up at home one day and just don't have to go to work. They might putter around their garden, sit on the porch and drink lemonade, and pretty much just live off their retirement money until they die or have to find a new job or go poor.
Nuns can't do that because they work for free! Or the love of God if you prefer. But they in no way make any money. They garden all the time, take time to do other things and pray some more.
But if the nun wanted to retire and decided to collect up her life savings and peace out to a home that doesn't exist outside the nunnery she'd have a pretty freaking difficult time! Let me tell you!
She has no money so she can't buy a house, can't buy food, has been gardening for hella eva! She'll be out on the streets in no time!
Which is why they keep you in the Nun Hospice when you're too old to garden so that you can pray in bed until finally you can 'retire' AKA DIE! and go hang out with God.
That's retirement! Finally getting to be with your husband after years of servitude.
(Sucks if you ask me)
And the only way you can stop being a nun is if you
A) get kicked out like Maria in The Sound of Music because she's too happy and sing songy to be in the nunnery they send her off to go become the mother of some captain's 7 kids.
B) Leave/Run away like Audrey Hepburn in The Nun's Story. Which Walt assure me ends with Hepburn walking down an alley way and not going to hell for her betrayal.
So thanks no thanks.
I will deal with the idiots of the planet, continue speaking, and avoid nunneries.
They're just not for me.
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