New Year New Me?

Honestly, and I don't want you to think I'm entering 2015 in a negative funk (much different then a positive funk that can make you feel like that new Bruno Mars song)

Totally positive here on the brink of a new year.

I just think this New Year New Me thing is stupid. 

Every day is a new day.

Every day is a chance to be a new you.

There's no reason you should have to wait for the 1st of January to start doing something with your life.

That's why I don't make New Years resolutions. 

If you really want to disappoint yourself. Go ahead make a resolution. 

You wanna lose weight? 

Well you haven't started yet, why is that?

Oh there were just so many good things to eat September through December.

Well I'm not disagreeing.

September is the start of pumpkin season. 

My favorite season.

Pumpkin Pie. Pumpkin Cheese Cake. Pumpkin tarts (small pies so we feel better about eating 5 of them) Pumpkin scones. Pumpkin Muffins and of course PSL! Pumpkin Spice Lattes!!

Yes it's hard to ignore such a delicious treat that only seems to come once a year.

And then October well.

If you're Canadian! Thanksgiving!

And on sale Halloween Candy.

And then November hits!

EGG NOG delicious beverage that only comes once a year!

If you're American. Thanksgiving! (Imagine if you're an american in Canada. You get two thanksgivings!) 

And then December

Christmas Hanukkah Chrismukkah for those OC die hards!!

Yeah there's a lot of food in there but you can still have it all in portions and continue to work out of whatever active people do. 

New Years?! Well yes that's a lot of alcohol to embibe! But as long as it's not an every day every week kind of life. A little alcohol here and there won't hurt you.

So basically fall through winter you've gone into hibernation cause you've decided not to fight the food battle. 

So you resolute.
New Year New You

but how long will that last? 

Until next fall maybe if you're lucky!

You wanna lose weight start when you think "hmmm I should lose weight."

You wanna go on a trip to a warm place but are short on cash? 

Get a savings account connected to when your paycheques come in so you don't even have to think about putting the money aside it does it for you.

So I guess what I'm saying is stop procrastinating.

You want a New You? 

Go out and make it happen!

Without the pressure of the New Years Resolution guilt constantly around your neck

The Universe Has It's Own Plans

Oh Hey,
So are you ever, you know, moseying about in your own life, worrying about your own things but not really having any huge life altering crisis to deal with and so are actually fine when you're stressing the small things.
Yeah well that's been me for like the past 5-6 years.
No one's died, I haven't been robbed or anything.
Now and then I get into a friendship fight or something like Priscilla and I usually stop being friends from December-March (not this year though this year the friendship is strong).
Sometimes I have to remove friends entirely (it's only happened twice so it's not a huge thing)
Mostly I just walk around worrying about others who's lives are way more messed up than mine and debating on whether to watch The OC or Project Runway. To do homework or clean the house.
Trivial things.
But suddenly out of no where it's like the universe remembered I was over here and they were like "hmmm she's had it pretty easy for some time now...let's shake it up"
And like even then my issue is still a trivial issue it's just something I'm totally out of my element in and haven't had to deal with since like high school.
(still debating on whether or not to say what the issue is so I'll keep rambling)
So everyone's got their theories on how life works, who controls the universe, is it God/Fate/Spagetti and I have no idea if any or all of those things are correct. Sometimes I think people just worr about their destiny so much they force themselves onto one path.
I'm starting to believe it's more like Sims, I used to think it was like board games but I feel they've upgraded.
There's like 20 people just on the other side of the sky and they've created these towns and all the people inside them and now and then they get bored and they take their favorite characters to new places and build whole new towns.
Like the theory that the world stops when you're not in it, people kind of just power down. We go on autopilot when our maker person goes off to play in another world. Which apparently my maker has been gone for about 5 years and has just remembered us over here and was like "man, Cecilly seems so peaceful....let's fuck her up for a bit!"
Well it's working
(I'm not going to tell you)
What I will tell you is I have become obsessed with something. Something that I can not have, something that I don't even particularly like but I find the concept interesting enough that I want to learn more about it. Which I then realize I am doing and I go "no no Cecilly be reasonable! Pull yourself together! You are an adult!"
And I'm fine for about an hour before my mind wanders back to it.
And the Universe is like ahahaha and they start to put up things that remind me of it all around. At school, on the bus. I can be not thinking about it and something will pop up that reminds me. Or I will be thinking of it and it will appear right in front of me.
I would like to think I've acheived a special summoning power but that's doubtful. Instead I'm just going crazy.
It's like when you have a Sims love triangle and the user keeps trying to get the two not together to interact and the singleton starts falling more and more in love and the couple one is like omg no go away.
I don't know if Sims can kill themselves (i'm not going to kill myself keep reading) but the user is definitely on it's way to telling me to go swimming and then will remove all the ladders and then I will just drown in this!
It's really not fair
And it's trivial which makes it all the worst I think....
Oh well,
It's Christmas....worse comes to worse I'll start reading Fanfiction again....

When Nuns Retire

Sooooo...
Remember way back when and I wrote that blog post about wanting to run off and become a nun?
I've changed my mind!
I've been learning a lot about nuns in the past month and let's get real. It's not for me.
First you have to like pledge yourself to God.
Then think about being a nun for like 4 years (one of those years you have to take a vow of silence!!!!)
Then you're like "yeah I still wanna be a nun"
AND THEN YOU MARRY GOD!!!!!!!
The whole reason I was going to join the nunnery was to avoid relationships!!
I don't want to get married to GOD!?!
Let alone spend a year silent...so that won't be happen.
Plus I just learned all about nun retirement.
Let me explain!

So as a theater department we have a props shop. And recently this beautiful living room set was donated, like the couches you would see in a Pride and Prejudice sitting room!
And I asked my Gumpette who works in props where it came from....And she said "A retirement home for nuns"
....
LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT HERE PEOPLE!!
NUNS!
DON'T!
RETIRE!

They do not! you can argue it out with me but I've had a lengthy discussion with several people and it's just not done!
Being a nun is a full time job. Every breath. Every waking moment that these nuns are alive are dedicated to being nuns!
They pray. They walk around thinking about their husband God. They do the nunnery version of housework. You know working in the garden and cleaning tables and painting bedrooms and what not. And they do this until they die!!
Yes you're right... nuns get old just like normal people. But when this happens, the just go chill in the nunnery hospital or go to The Building Where Nuns Go To Die Home (or Nun Hospice my friend likes to call it) but this is by no means! In no way! A retirement home!!!
Believe you me those nuns are stillllllll praying! Until they kick it!

And this is why nuns don't retire:
THEY CAN'T!
Think about retirement. When most people retire they have a fair amount of money saved up, they get a pension, they wake up at home one day and just don't have to go to work. They might putter around their garden, sit on the porch and drink lemonade, and pretty much just live off their retirement money until they die or have to find a new job or go poor.
Nuns can't do that because they work for free! Or the love of God if you prefer. But they in no way make any money. They garden all the time, take time to do other things and pray some more.
But if the nun wanted to retire and decided to collect up her life savings and peace out to a home that doesn't exist outside the nunnery she'd have a pretty freaking difficult time! Let me tell you!
She has no money so she can't buy a house, can't buy food, has been gardening for hella eva! She'll be out on the streets in no time!
Which is why they keep you in the Nun Hospice when you're too old to garden so that you can pray in bed until finally you can 'retire' AKA DIE! and go hang out with God.
That's retirement! Finally getting to be with your husband after years of servitude.
(Sucks if you ask me)
And the only way you can stop being a nun is if you
A) get kicked out like Maria in The Sound of Music because she's too happy and sing songy to be in the nunnery they send her off to go become the mother of some captain's 7 kids.
B) Leave/Run away like Audrey Hepburn in The Nun's Story. Which  Walt assure me ends with Hepburn walking down an alley way and not going to hell for her betrayal.

So thanks no thanks.
I will deal with the idiots of the planet, continue speaking, and avoid nunneries.
They're just not for me.

Lady Fails

Why hello!
Do you know what day it is?! It's Alan Rickman's birthday mothafucka! Yeah! So happy birthday to this attractive old man! (He's 67) No cares! I love him sooooo much!

So now that I've got those out of they way.

A little house cleaning before I actually start.

I said I would send you my birthday present pictures

My Gnome soap that I will probably keep nailed to my wall forever

My nipple, still nicely wrapped atop my cupcake pyramid...all of which have been eaten

And my british hat cheesecake!

Twas a good birthday!! <3 

Valentine's happened (a regular waste of a day if you ask me!) But we did slave for a day auctions. Yours truly was sold for 22$ Pretty freaking good if you ask me!!!

And even better Sergei bought me so that I could make him dinner and clean his dishes and then watch Poireaux and drink wine like the old british couple we are! And of all the things he could have chosen for me to make him...he chose quesidillas...Hella easy to put together but a nightmare to flip! 

But it was still delicious!

He was the proudest slave master I ever had! <3 

Alright! so now that that's out of the way.

It's reading break people! I hate reading break! It's literally a week of me going crazy because I hate my homework and all my friends are busy and the ones that aren't like aren't even my friends anymore so I have no reason to hang out with them! It is soooo annoying!

Which means I have countless hours to scroll tumblr instead of doing homework which means I'm bombarded by things like 

 THIS IS NOT OK PEOPLE! SHE IS THE ANTI-CHRIST! 

....sigh humanity.

But now the point of this post is my lady fails. So if you're squeamish about periods or hella anti-allthingswomanproblems leave.

Have you gone?

Good.

So the last 3 periods of mine I think i've just been really freaking lazy. I ignore all the signs that it's coming, I eat a bunch of nachos, I don't carry around feminine supplies just in case. The laziest lady you'll ever meet. 

Luckily for me last night I was like damn my ovaries hurt...that can only mean one thing! So I got home and ate the rest of my birthday cake which was kind of gross but totally worth it and pms Cec has no regrets! 

Then it actually clicked that I was actually on my period and should probably do something about that unless I wanted to build an arc to traverse a woman made red sea in my living room.

But to be honest. I was on top of this period. Last time I went for like 5 hours being like I don't even care! I hate being a woman! you can not hold me down body!! And just neglected all the things and went for work and walked around for 3 hours. Which was the most excruciating thing. 

My shins always get super achey and if I have to stand for long periods of time I need advil or something but not this time. I was just rebelling. 

Sigh.

If you're reading you're probably like what the heck is this woman doing with her life.

Nothing.

I'm literally doing nothing.

I read my opera pages. I looked at my english. I tried to care about my writing homework. Nothing. 

Leave me to die! I'm going to get the ice cream!

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To.

Soooo yeah,
It was my birthday today.
Normally for my birthday, or at least last year, I lie in bed and cry about making it 2 decades, being legal in Canada and having nothing interesting to live for anymore.
I mean first year of university I turned 19. I got up in the morning and started drinking legally. Went to the liquor store at 11 am when it opened and bought alcohol legally. Ate German food (which isn't illegal but it was damn good!)
...then last year I turned 20. It was miserable. Nothing to live for. 2 decades alive on earth and I haven't accomplished anything of worth. I go to theater school, will I even have a career when I graduate. Freaking depressing man! And my birthday was on the Sunday before reading break so there was absolutely no reason for me to leave my pit of despair (aka bed) except for rehearsal which I went to and then came back home and cried some more.
I figured I would do very much the same thing this year but...I guess things have changed. 21 wasn't terrible. And yeah everyone's like GO TO AMERICA AND DRINK AND BUY CHEAP ALCOHOL! ...but it's like 50$ to take the ferry down to Seattle and back. what a waste just for alcohol I can buy here.
Recently however, I've been going to a friend's house for mexican mondays, where we just eat mexican food on a monday, gossip, meet new people and such. My friend went off to Uruguay 2 weeks ago but I've still been going. Now I'm friends with her roommates and she's freaking awesome! Last night there was just 6 of us there so we were drinking wine.
I'm pretty sure I told you about my last wine drinking experience with Walt  and that didn't end well. But we were drinking red wine last night and maybe that made all the difference. I had an excellent night. We voted people off the tropical island we were deserted on. We planned to go camping for reading break (I don't know if it'll actually happen but I would like to do something). I made new friends! It was a great night and I didn't think I was drunk at all!.....until I got home and lied down. Then the world started to spin. And I woke up this morning and I was definitely still drunk.
But Gumpette bought me some caramilk liqeur so I just put a little in my morning coffee and was set to go!

Yes I've just been slightly drunk all day.

But I think where the huge difference from the last two birthdays to 21 was that when I opened my bedroom door this morning there was no one waiting on the other side to pounce me. or throw streamers. or sing!
It was just me. I made myself breakfast. Got dressed for school not for some special day. But it was great! Sergei and I watched Aladdin, drank mimosas and ate nachos. We had free church dinner! AND THEN!

Aurora got me a soap-on-a-rope gnome! GNOME  SHAPED SOAP! like WHAT?!?! ridiculous but I love it! but I'm not gunna use it! It now hangs in my bathroom. I'm probably going to have to name it...
She also got me...a boob! and I was looking at it completely confused until I saw the nipple! Modern art man! It's weird shit! But I love it!
Next blog I'll take a picture of them and put em up here because they're too good not to be shared!
And this girl, I swear to god she keeps me sane! I don't know what i would do without her! This girl goes and buys me a cheesecake! not a slice! A WHOLE CHEESECAKE!! Luckily I had people to share it with otherwise I would have died. And even though she'll rant that it wasn't the right kind she ordered it was still delicious.
I'm just gunna finish this night off with a bath! and I am just so happy.
So happy birthday to me. Maybe next year I'll even let other people in on it. Though I'd like to point out that only 56 of my 652 friends on facebook wished me happy birthday. I mean really!
...I honestly have no idea who those other 596 are anyways....oh well.

Goodnight!

REUNITED AT LAST!!!

Oh happy internet people!
Many weeks have gone by since I have had the pleasure of seeing Alfred.
Certainly we have chatted now and again on the facebook but we have both been terribly busy in our respective areas of study that we have not the time to see one another.
Alfred is graduating this year you see which means much homework for a biology/ psychology major and I'm simply not quick enough with my essay writing or studying to see him. This being. We haven't seen each other in almost 4 weeks!
Absurd for how much time he spends doing my dishes and keeping me on task.
Also, as I previously mentioned many posts back, he had ripped his back open on his little back trip to Tofino and has spent much of his time lying on his stomach healing.
BUT ALAS HE HAS RETURNED!!! Though suspiciously after I have done my own dishes....hmmmm.
Sadly I must go to work for 4 hours! An absurd amount! I know people with regular jobs are like "tis nothing!" but my 4 hours will be spent walking around the library and telling people not to eat and stop snoring even though it's exam week and they couldn't possibly do such things in the confines of their houses.
But! After work, we will party! Not that I need, as he takes the time to point out, any particular reason for drinking. After Friday night however I feel like many would agree.
If you remember many months back I mentioned my Front of House partner Antonio, he would certainly agree with my no longer needing to drink. A very long conversation about dragons and dangerous people on the streets. But alas, it is all in good fun and my favorite first year (we'll call him Walt) is fantastic company and together we make a grand couple of drunkards.
So yes, Alfred and I shall party tonight! Until then it's Love Actually time! I am happy!
Life is good!
I hope yours is too!

Ex-Factors

You know world, I did a really good thing today. Like a really really good thing, I saved someone a whole lot of trouble....though they may not have been of deserving intelligence so why do cruel reminders pop up when you're feeling good about yourself?
Let me explain the events of my day:
Today I had to attend the safety talk for the Fall Mainstage that started around 11:30 (funny enough there was a fire alarm in the middle of the tech run that followed) which meant that I had to get up a whole hour earlier than I was planning to for a run that wasn't supposed to start til 1pm. And really my only purpose was to explain timed note taking to the girls that will be front of house managing this show because I'm their mentor (WOE IS ME!)
Anyways so I left my house, worried that I would miss my bus (Turns out the schedule was wrong and there is no bus at that time anyways) when there I see in the running gutter water a wallet.....with hundreds of cards in it....And I think to myself: Cecilly, you are a good person. You should return this girl's wallet! Imagine how worried she must be! She'll have to call all of those cards to cancel them! It's only 11 if you're lucky she's still super drunk and passed out and hasn't done that yet!
So I was a good person, I took the wallet with me to school so I could contact her...only her phone number was not in the wallet...personally I think you should always have your phone number in your wallet! I google the address on her drivers license...it's over in Gorge that's almost an hour long bus ride from my house! I don't have time for that! So me and the 2 other girls I'm mentoring begin calling the customer service numbers on the back of all these cards. Of course it's a weekend so many of them were closed...way to go customer service...
I know you're sitting at home reading this and thinking god Cecilly it's 2012 just facebook that girl! WELL I TRIED!!! But she had the most plain jane name! There were hundreds of her, many didn't look like her, most were from the other side of the world!
I finally got in touch with her credit card people and told them what happened to which they said: "Oh thank you for telling us we'll be sure to contact her have a nice day" and hung up.....excuse me lady...but you didn't take my number...how is she going to be able to find the person that has her stuff without that info...I may have just gotten her credit card canceled....OH WELL! DON'T LOOSE YOUR STUFF!!!
Basically it came down to calling the La Senza at the Bay Center (A mall downtown) because customer service is closed, begging the nice girl for her membership phone number, breaking the privacy policy at La Senza and getting her number....BUT OF COURSE SHE WOULD NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!
Ridiculous, you would think, no matter how drunk you were last night, that you would have your phone on when you've lost your wallet.....I called her about 6 times. Finally she turned her phone on and answered!
The problem? She didn't know where she was....how do you not know where you are? According to your drivers license you have lived in Victoria for at least 3 years and you don't know where you currently are? AND THEN SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE UVIC WAS!? WHAT?! ridiculous. More ridiculous is that where she was is still a 15 minute drive by car from my house and where her wallet was...How did your wallet end up outside my house! W
Whatever, I gave the crazy child directions and left it with the box office and then went out in the rain because of this fire drill....
I kid you not the world wants me to die!
So then! I'm feeling pretty good about my good deeds and what not. Girl got her wallet back and all her gift cards. Didn't have to cancel anything. I have work in an hour so I figure THAI FOOD! The only worthy treat! I even got to go with Gumpette who I almost never see anymore! It was going to be totally awesome!
But no, who would be outside of Fairway? Why none other than my least favorite human. You know he really brings it on himself. I wanted to be normal and friendly but no! Several times he has seen me and I KNOW he has and he has run away! That's PATHETIC! So I see him, he sees me avoids my eyes and runs into Fairway with his girlfriend (I assume it's his girlfriend) even though I was mid-wave. Whatever I didn't want to be nice anyways.
So I order my thai food and we're walking to cobs because Gumpette has it in for tasty bread and there he coming around the corner with what I can only assume are his 7 other roommates. (How awful would that be to have 7 roommates!)
He TRIES TO LOOK AWAY BUT I'M LIKE HELL NO!
So I very politely say Hi Matt. And yes I'm using his real name because he really doesn't deserve the decency to have his identity hidden. I can see him thinking about ignoring it but he says Hi...and runs away with his army of music kids.
I'm just freaking livid! but also Why do I care! Gumpette even said you can do so much better and I have. I had done better before I even dated him!
Even the drug dealer with the dog collar and chain in gr. 8 was better looking and a better boyfriend than him!
So I guess you're wondering why I settled for the bottom of the barrel.
Low self-esteem! And never again will I find myself in such a state of self loathing and misery and loneliness! Going into grade 10 everything was wrong and worthless but along comes this gaped toothed bag of douche who likes to sing (though his voice makes my ears cringe) and tells me I'm beautiful? Of course I fell.
Even when I found out what terrible humans he and his family are, even when he told me there was no point in staying together if we weren't getting married, even when he called me stupid and got me the most inconsiderate/insulting/insincere gifts or else told me that someone who realized how shitty his gifts were made him get something a little more heart felt I didn't leave him.
Why?
Fear probably. I remember when he told me he never wanted to leave Maple Ridge and that we might as well break up if marriage wasn't the result of our dating. Part of me was so mad and disgusted that this was the ultimatum but we didn't break up. I stayed with this jerk for a year, trying to convince myself that maybe one day I could marry him because what if no one else wanted me. Such bullshit. Of course I had my own faults in the relationship but I like to believe they were my passive aggressive attempts at payback for how low he made me feel.
Then one day he made the mistake of telling me that I was only one of 2 girls he had considered dating before he settled on me. The other was my very close friend, way out of his league, light years above me in looks but of course he realized she would never choose him when she had dozens of better looking boys throwing themselves at her feet. So he settled for me.
I think being told you're second best by someone you trust and think you love is about the worst feeling you can experience.
Today after watching the Good Person of Setzuan I was mad that Shen Te always goes back for Yang Sun even though when she's disguised as a man she can see clearly that he doesn't love her. My friend asked me had I ever been in love. I would like to think so but I guess that answer means no. But even if I haven't been in love I've experienced something like what Shen Te must have felt. Knowing one thing but ignoring it for another.
Yeah I would like to throw things at Matt. I won't but I'd like to, I might swear at him next time I see him alone.
The point of all this is that even though I'm really awesome now I wasn't always and I've learned a lot over the years that you can't let other people get to you. But you can let them pump you up! Which is why Alfred is over to kiss my feet and remind me why I deserve to rule the world. He's also agreed to watch Pride and Prejudice (though I think he's making fun of Kiara Knightly inside his head).
Whatever!
Stay strong readers!
You might get lucky and become stellar like me! <3

ps: if you're currently with an asshole and you think you're in love and that's making you irrational give me a call. I'll come straighten out his attitude!