Woop! Woop! It's Da Sound of Da Police!

Alright peeps.
So legit why I'm posting this song is because
1-I think it's funny
2-I've solved my stalker problems! (as far as I know)

So if you read my last 2 posts I told you about those two guys in the library that have been like following me and trying to get me to go out with them and just generally pissing me off.
Not to mention their super freaking creepy because they'll see me come in on the first floor and go hide some where else on another floor and wait for me to get to them and then try to talk me up.
Soops creepy.
So I was closing on Sunday and I was like you know what! I've had enough!
I've had a long day already. I don't need this creeps bothering me.
So I walk in the library.
I see them.
They see me.
They start their hiding games.
I go looking for them.
I find them in bottom floor stacks just creepin, pretending to study.
I don't even play man
I walk up to them and I tell them that if they don't leave me alone I will tell Campus Security. I will get a harassment claim against them. And I will get them expelled from school for threatening me and endangering a university employee.
They were pretty shocked.
I also know, because I went to this stupid lecture on visas for my stupid first year english class that they're not canadian
They're exchange students
So if they get expelled for harassment then they probably get deported and can never come back...I think they'll freaking leave me alone now.
HA!
Ha ha!
HA!
I am so happy!
Peace. <3

Ex-Factors

You know world, I did a really good thing today. Like a really really good thing, I saved someone a whole lot of trouble....though they may not have been of deserving intelligence so why do cruel reminders pop up when you're feeling good about yourself?
Let me explain the events of my day:
Today I had to attend the safety talk for the Fall Mainstage that started around 11:30 (funny enough there was a fire alarm in the middle of the tech run that followed) which meant that I had to get up a whole hour earlier than I was planning to for a run that wasn't supposed to start til 1pm. And really my only purpose was to explain timed note taking to the girls that will be front of house managing this show because I'm their mentor (WOE IS ME!)
Anyways so I left my house, worried that I would miss my bus (Turns out the schedule was wrong and there is no bus at that time anyways) when there I see in the running gutter water a wallet.....with hundreds of cards in it....And I think to myself: Cecilly, you are a good person. You should return this girl's wallet! Imagine how worried she must be! She'll have to call all of those cards to cancel them! It's only 11 if you're lucky she's still super drunk and passed out and hasn't done that yet!
So I was a good person, I took the wallet with me to school so I could contact her...only her phone number was not in the wallet...personally I think you should always have your phone number in your wallet! I google the address on her drivers license...it's over in Gorge that's almost an hour long bus ride from my house! I don't have time for that! So me and the 2 other girls I'm mentoring begin calling the customer service numbers on the back of all these cards. Of course it's a weekend so many of them were closed...way to go customer service...
I know you're sitting at home reading this and thinking god Cecilly it's 2012 just facebook that girl! WELL I TRIED!!! But she had the most plain jane name! There were hundreds of her, many didn't look like her, most were from the other side of the world!
I finally got in touch with her credit card people and told them what happened to which they said: "Oh thank you for telling us we'll be sure to contact her have a nice day" and hung up.....excuse me lady...but you didn't take my number...how is she going to be able to find the person that has her stuff without that info...I may have just gotten her credit card canceled....OH WELL! DON'T LOOSE YOUR STUFF!!!
Basically it came down to calling the La Senza at the Bay Center (A mall downtown) because customer service is closed, begging the nice girl for her membership phone number, breaking the privacy policy at La Senza and getting her number....BUT OF COURSE SHE WOULD NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!
Ridiculous, you would think, no matter how drunk you were last night, that you would have your phone on when you've lost your wallet.....I called her about 6 times. Finally she turned her phone on and answered!
The problem? She didn't know where she was....how do you not know where you are? According to your drivers license you have lived in Victoria for at least 3 years and you don't know where you currently are? AND THEN SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE UVIC WAS!? WHAT?! ridiculous. More ridiculous is that where she was is still a 15 minute drive by car from my house and where her wallet was...How did your wallet end up outside my house! W
Whatever, I gave the crazy child directions and left it with the box office and then went out in the rain because of this fire drill....
I kid you not the world wants me to die!
So then! I'm feeling pretty good about my good deeds and what not. Girl got her wallet back and all her gift cards. Didn't have to cancel anything. I have work in an hour so I figure THAI FOOD! The only worthy treat! I even got to go with Gumpette who I almost never see anymore! It was going to be totally awesome!
But no, who would be outside of Fairway? Why none other than my least favorite human. You know he really brings it on himself. I wanted to be normal and friendly but no! Several times he has seen me and I KNOW he has and he has run away! That's PATHETIC! So I see him, he sees me avoids my eyes and runs into Fairway with his girlfriend (I assume it's his girlfriend) even though I was mid-wave. Whatever I didn't want to be nice anyways.
So I order my thai food and we're walking to cobs because Gumpette has it in for tasty bread and there he coming around the corner with what I can only assume are his 7 other roommates. (How awful would that be to have 7 roommates!)
He TRIES TO LOOK AWAY BUT I'M LIKE HELL NO!
So I very politely say Hi Matt. And yes I'm using his real name because he really doesn't deserve the decency to have his identity hidden. I can see him thinking about ignoring it but he says Hi...and runs away with his army of music kids.
I'm just freaking livid! but also Why do I care! Gumpette even said you can do so much better and I have. I had done better before I even dated him!
Even the drug dealer with the dog collar and chain in gr. 8 was better looking and a better boyfriend than him!
So I guess you're wondering why I settled for the bottom of the barrel.
Low self-esteem! And never again will I find myself in such a state of self loathing and misery and loneliness! Going into grade 10 everything was wrong and worthless but along comes this gaped toothed bag of douche who likes to sing (though his voice makes my ears cringe) and tells me I'm beautiful? Of course I fell.
Even when I found out what terrible humans he and his family are, even when he told me there was no point in staying together if we weren't getting married, even when he called me stupid and got me the most inconsiderate/insulting/insincere gifts or else told me that someone who realized how shitty his gifts were made him get something a little more heart felt I didn't leave him.
Why?
Fear probably. I remember when he told me he never wanted to leave Maple Ridge and that we might as well break up if marriage wasn't the result of our dating. Part of me was so mad and disgusted that this was the ultimatum but we didn't break up. I stayed with this jerk for a year, trying to convince myself that maybe one day I could marry him because what if no one else wanted me. Such bullshit. Of course I had my own faults in the relationship but I like to believe they were my passive aggressive attempts at payback for how low he made me feel.
Then one day he made the mistake of telling me that I was only one of 2 girls he had considered dating before he settled on me. The other was my very close friend, way out of his league, light years above me in looks but of course he realized she would never choose him when she had dozens of better looking boys throwing themselves at her feet. So he settled for me.
I think being told you're second best by someone you trust and think you love is about the worst feeling you can experience.
Today after watching the Good Person of Setzuan I was mad that Shen Te always goes back for Yang Sun even though when she's disguised as a man she can see clearly that he doesn't love her. My friend asked me had I ever been in love. I would like to think so but I guess that answer means no. But even if I haven't been in love I've experienced something like what Shen Te must have felt. Knowing one thing but ignoring it for another.
Yeah I would like to throw things at Matt. I won't but I'd like to, I might swear at him next time I see him alone.
The point of all this is that even though I'm really awesome now I wasn't always and I've learned a lot over the years that you can't let other people get to you. But you can let them pump you up! Which is why Alfred is over to kiss my feet and remind me why I deserve to rule the world. He's also agreed to watch Pride and Prejudice (though I think he's making fun of Kiara Knightly inside his head).
Whatever!
Stay strong readers!
You might get lucky and become stellar like me! <3

ps: if you're currently with an asshole and you think you're in love and that's making you irrational give me a call. I'll come straighten out his attitude!

My Poetic Week with Zombies and Books

Ola oi oi readers!
It's been almost a week since my last post, what blasphemy. And Priscilla is just super peeved at me for not posting because apparently she's my number one fan.
So I'm going to make a post though I have no idea where to start because so much stuff has gone down in the past week! Let's give it a go!
I'm just going to start with today and work backwards, maybe make more than one post, see how we do.
Well readers I guess I should start with the tragic news that I am in fact dead and my ghost has returned from the dead to give you this post.
Yes in motherland Victoria, where the earthquakes aim to kill we had an earthquake drill today. Unfortunately I was too busy spewing out every last fact I know about musicals from the 1700's-1960 in my commercial theater midterm. So due to the size of the quake, the 40 year old Phoenix building has been leveled, taking an entire class of hopeful historians with it. (Lies I would never want to waste my life reviewing archives of 1890 productions.)
It's not that much of a loss really. It just means that I won't have to edit the terrible poem I handed in for writing this morning.
WHY DO POEMS EXIST!?! I really feel like someone way back when was just a really bad story teller so he strung together a few images with rhymes and was like voila my piece d'existance! and every one was like c'est qoui ca? Ce n'est pas un histoire!
and this guy who of course was pretentious as all hell because he's a poet AND FRENCH! was like no no it's a poem! It's like a story but better!
And all the french went hmmmmmm...oui! J'accept!
Because the french, though critical are all accepting of anything that is wholly french. And yeah poetry is probably a Greek thing in actuality but if the french are good at it they will claim it as their own. (We had french students come to speak to us today in french, can you tell I'm still not interested in french culture I should really quit)
I have a story about front of housing this show but I will save it for another post.
My job at the library is going decently, telling people what they can and can not do is going very well. I feel it is an area in which I truly excel.
I was walking around and there were a lot of people eating apples yesterday which is so frustrating because you can't save apples so they just throw them in the trash where they rot over night and attract fruit flies. I just wish people would accept that they need to eat other places. ANY OTHER BUILDING ON CAMPUS WILL ALLOW YOU TO EAT IN IT!! Also you can check books out and the library isn't even that comfy! So freaking ridiculous it makes me growl!
So I'm walking around yesterday and there are rooms you can book for you and your friends to talk openly and write on boards and stuff BUT NOT EAT IN! I see this room with 3 girls and this one guy and they have like chinese food take out dishes on the table. It was all eaten but I still have to tell them.
So I open the door and very politely say "we have a no eating policy in the library," all the girls of course apologize because tis what girls do. But this boy interrupts me "There's no food now so it's fine" and I just gave him my very best 'bitch please do not fuck with the black lady just doing her job' look. All the girls in the room were looking at this guy like she's going to kill you shut your mouth. And very curtly I say "well next time you'll know better and that you can't eat food in the library." and then I closed the door so I didn't have to deal. muahahahha!
Not as good as Tuesday though. I'm walking around and there's this guy eating up on the very top balcony floor area and people have the silly habit of just bringing it out as I'm walking by. Don't even wait to try and hide it. sad humans are sad. So there's this guy and he's eating so I do my little spiel and of course he was unhappy to be caught so he tried to be snappy.
He says "don't you ever get tired of nagging people?"
To which I laugh because it's one of my greatest skills. I tell this guy, "well I'm not going to get married and I"m not going to have kids so I might as well get it out somewhere." <---SASS! 
He put his food away and I didn't catch him again. I like to think that some people are just so impressed by me that they respect me. Or are so scared I will start shooting throwing stars out of my eyes that they keep it to themselves.
Anything else important?
I volunteered at this farm where they do a haunted house and I was a zombie with Priscilla, that was pretty cool. Though I have seriously injured my feet. I don't know if I pulled all the muscles in the top of them or what but so much pain going on down there.

Here's me as a zombie with Priscilla.

Tada c'est ma vie!
I'll post about meeting poopy lady tomorrow I am tired now.
C-Dawg!

Clark Kent is Super...RUDE!

Alright peeps so I've got a story for you about the rudeness in the youth of today. (And I think the fact that I'm takin the time to type it out on my iPod at Alfred's house just furthers the obviousness of how importance this all is. Also if you have an issue with my spelling mistakes take them else where. )
HERE WE GO!
So I'm once again working the alumni show at the Phoenix (working isn't really the correct term as its really for a class) but anyways I am front of house which means I deal with the theatre lobby and the patrons. It's a pretty goo and short show so it was really all easy no worries UNTIL THIS GIANT BAG OF SUCK WAS PLACED ON MY USHER SQUAD!
I have met this kid twice before, never had a problem, seemed decent but as my usher he is a jerk!
So one of the teachers calls him Clark Kent because he kinda looks like him( for those of you going what the heck. That's Superman's normal human name) but this kid does not deserve to be allied with he greatness that is Superman!
So we do an usher tour and on the tour around all the rules are laid it and we tell them what they're supposed to wear(black bottoms). And this kid in the tour asks why if we don't have black bottoms and I'm like "get a pair for 5 dollars at value village" he's like I'm poor. I laugh "I am 3 times more poor than you and I can buy a 5 dollar skirt you can buy pants." To be fair I also gave him the option of going to the costume people and begging for pants (pretty nice of me since wardrobe people hate ushers)
TUESDAY NIGHT: 1st preview show
This little rat shows up in grey dress pants and I'm just staring NO! GAPING at him like what the heck! And he has the audacity to say "you said dress pants"
BLACK! BLACK DRESS PANTS! So I send him to costume to get this fixed only to find out there is no wardrobe for this show.
Now this all really could have been avoided if the child, knowing he didn't have black pants, had just signed up for parking shifts where you can wear whatever you want! But no he signed up for all programs which is the shortest shift but is also the one where grey pants are most obvious! So we put him behind juice bar switch some people up.
I wish that had been the end but OH NO! So i set up with my dear friend, I once called her her real name I'm going to call her Pricilla here from now on though she might kill me. So I introduces them cause she works in costume shop so that he could get him some pants. We set it all up everything was good and he's like oh by the way I dot have that class I said I have tomorrow and Priscilla's like whatever just make sure you show up.....does he?
OF COURSE NOT!
So Wednesday:2nd preview night.
I forgot my phone at home when I went over to my fellow manager's house to prepare for the reception on Thursday.( we will call my partner Antonio, I was going to call him Steve but I knew he would take offence as we now have hundreds of jokes about this imagined guy named Steve)
So Antonio and I arrive at the theatre to set things up and get ready but Pricilla is there all like "hey gurl hey why no answer your phone when I text?" And hen she proceeds to explain to me about mr Kent who was too freaking good to show up at costume stock that morning at the allotted time and that the costume people are in an uproar over the whole thing and to send him over when he shows up in grey pants and I say "ok"
Kid shows up 5 minutes before his shift in BLACK PANTS! And I know he didn't get them from costume so I am just freaking livid! I'm all "where did ou get those?!"
He's "they're my suit pants"
I'm "why didn't you wear those yesterday?"
he says "because they're blue".
Honestly readers I could not tell these pants were blue. I would have to hold a flash light up to the fabric at the right angle or pull the threads out to tell that these freaking pants were blue! Try looked black! In the dim lobby lights they looked like black freaking pants! AND WHY when you have such dark blue pants would you wear GREY ONES!
So I'm just ready to lose it. But I don't guys and I think if you know me I deserve a round of applause for that one. I'll wait....*wild admiring applause*
So I say to this kid "why didn't you show up at costume?"
His completely unacceptable response:"I was sleeping!"
NO! So I start telling him why what he did was wrong and why he has to respect the costume hours and he just turns away and says "whatever stop giving me 'tude" and walks away....
I wanted to murder him, throw things, scream but I did not! I turned to Antonio and tell him to deal with this child I can not be near him. Anty's a pretty chill laid back guy and he's all no problem all over it! And this rude child totally respects him, does what he's told no problem! But is a total jerk to me! I don't even know!
So 8pm the show is supposed to start. We've got people buying last minute tickets and I'm suppose to cue the marketing kid for his speech. I'm making sure with the Parking ushers that no one is coming AND SUPERMAN HAS DECIDED IT'S TIME TO GO!
I lose it ( not in a violent way though more in a simmering volcanic explosion way). This kid is takin off his usher uniform in the lobby, patrons are still in the lobby! I go over and I'm like "what do you think you're doing?l
"It's 8pm I'm off shift"
So I lay it out for him. The fact that he's a first year, this is a mandatory thing he has to do to pass and while he's an usher he is under our command until we let him off for the night.
AND THIS BAG OF FLAMING FIERY DOUCH SAYS! "I have priorities outside of the Phoenix" he is not even looking at me he is being so rude, rolling his eyes.
I wil admit, my hand twitched. I wanted to beat him down so hard but I did not instead I turned
"ANTONIO!"
"Yes?"
"Deal with this kid!"
I go off to seat patrons and take care of getting he house closed leaving Antonio with jerk face
He takes one look t the situation says "put your vest back on"
DONE! Kid does it no complaints!!
We sorted everything else I counted everything Antonio dealt with the ushers and all was well...
Of course this kid couldn't leave without a snarky comment of how opinionated I am which yeah in real life I freaking am! But with him I'm just doing my job!
We also found out later that those outside priorities were frat related(yeah uvic has like one super lame frat) and I hope he was late and I hope they beat him up or punished him for it.
So, that's what I've been dealing with this week as well as super little sleek and a shit ton of baking for the reception last night that went really well.
Reasons for this child's douchiness as contributed by my fellow students include him being:
Racist
Sexist
Has mommy issues
Is a spoiled brat who was never spanked
Is just a boy (child please, this kid is 19)
He's of age in Canada so he has all the power now.


They go on but I think the top 4 are the most likely reasons.
Sigh whatever I don't have to see him for a week! And if he's still an ass then I'm probably just going to send him home with negative hours!
It should also be noted that all the other ushers are so nice and loving and do whatever I say that I have no problems with them.
Hooray!
Ttys bloggers