Pride and Prejud-ex?

What up world!
I know shame on me! I have not posted in such a terribly long time....though it doesn't seem so terribly long on this blog thing but I feel like weeks have gone by I've been so busy at school....ugh school!
And no this is not another blog about how stupid and childishly rude Matt is. I just thought the title might amuse Miss Priscilla.
As we were walking to the dreaded french class, in which I am supposed to draw comparisons between french people and the normal world (which is quite difficult as they do try their darnedest not to be above normal humans), I noticed the sad one walking towards us. I do think the only way he'll be able to walk past me on his own is if he suddenly loses his sense of sight or if I disguise myself as a white man. Anyways, I'm sure you can guess what happened. As per usual, he saw me quickly turned sideways and RAN! So unskilled, he really needs to learn how to just melt into a crowd or something. But naturally I was offended once again, though I didn't yell his name like I swore I would, I just muttered about it and Priscilla! Oh the poor child wants to see Matt in action so terribly but alas he eyes were not on guard. Maybe next time Priscilla.
Oh lords, life has been so busy. I have been mentoring you see, the young tadpoles who must front of house manage the 2nd main stage. Tedious work I must say, though the show is quite enjoyable for Brecht  I can not say it has been going smoothly.
The first night of Previews the drink fridge alarm went off! It's one of those things that you learn about in 205 class but just pray and hope and swear that it won't happen to you. It has never happened to me but they filled up the cooler very full. I asked "does the door shut properly?" "yes" was the reply....10 minutes later I'm in the box office going over some things and this awful, very loud, high pitched, alarm goes off! AND YOU JUST KNOW IT'S THE FRIDGE!!!!
The problem is that you're not actually taught in the class what to do if the alarm goes off....so I tell the box office girl to call our teacher! The marketing woman runs out and says "I'll you have to do is lock it!" ....that is not going to help anything. I tell one of the girls I'm mentoring to take out the first row of cans so that it can close properly. Like 3 minutes of this awful sound before the theater production, boss, manager guy comes storming out of his office and smacks the defrost button on the top of the fridge to get it to stop....I swear to god he hates me, every time something goes wrong in front of house I'm the one there.....Tears!
So the next preview! Everything's going fine, it's mostly students, everyone is pleasant....The parking ushers radio in saying that this man's credit card is stuck in the parking machines....Now we have no control of the parking machines, campus security is in charge of all that none sense and when things go wrong you have to call an outside company to fix the machines and then we have to pay for that even though we don't get money from the machines.
So I go get this man and bring him to the Phoenix thinking he's a patron, he is not but he is an super mad douche bag!
I choose to ignore him and let him deal with campus security....BECAUSE THE FLOOR IN THE WOMAN'S WASHROOM HAS DECIDED TO BLOW UP! It's like the sewer water place and when too many toilets are flushing it has a little melt down and spits it up through the floor drain....it was awful!
All of this of course was forgiven by Opening Reception for which kids make food and decorate platters for audience. OOOOOOO and the PUNCH! Delicious!

But better than that is getting to take home the left over food! I'm currently still eating a spinach bread bowl as I write this and believe me it is super good! Yeah that very bowl in the picture.....life has never been so sweet.
And also it's now EGG NOG latte time at Starbucks which just makes everything freaking fabulous! and today I didn't have any classes and I had no reason to go to school so Alfred brought me one on his way home because I've been having FOH struggles. He knows this because for both previews I just went to his house afterwards and cried on his floor.....which he probably wasn't fond of because he's working on his very important projects and papers that will allow him to graduate this summer. (TEARS) But he didn't send me away! He gave me ice cream and nodded his head and sometimes mumbled mhm as I blubbered away on the floor.
He is definitely the greatest friend I could ever ask for! He doesn't even try to stop me from watching Pride and Prejudice though it's always on when he comes over and I'm sure he's tired of it....It's educational....whatever I couldn't live without him.
I think this post was actually really lame but whatever it's my blog so you can just deal.
WHAT!

My Poetic Week with Zombies and Books

Ola oi oi readers!
It's been almost a week since my last post, what blasphemy. And Priscilla is just super peeved at me for not posting because apparently she's my number one fan.
So I'm going to make a post though I have no idea where to start because so much stuff has gone down in the past week! Let's give it a go!
I'm just going to start with today and work backwards, maybe make more than one post, see how we do.
Well readers I guess I should start with the tragic news that I am in fact dead and my ghost has returned from the dead to give you this post.
Yes in motherland Victoria, where the earthquakes aim to kill we had an earthquake drill today. Unfortunately I was too busy spewing out every last fact I know about musicals from the 1700's-1960 in my commercial theater midterm. So due to the size of the quake, the 40 year old Phoenix building has been leveled, taking an entire class of hopeful historians with it. (Lies I would never want to waste my life reviewing archives of 1890 productions.)
It's not that much of a loss really. It just means that I won't have to edit the terrible poem I handed in for writing this morning.
WHY DO POEMS EXIST!?! I really feel like someone way back when was just a really bad story teller so he strung together a few images with rhymes and was like voila my piece d'existance! and every one was like c'est qoui ca? Ce n'est pas un histoire!
and this guy who of course was pretentious as all hell because he's a poet AND FRENCH! was like no no it's a poem! It's like a story but better!
And all the french went hmmmmmm...oui! J'accept!
Because the french, though critical are all accepting of anything that is wholly french. And yeah poetry is probably a Greek thing in actuality but if the french are good at it they will claim it as their own. (We had french students come to speak to us today in french, can you tell I'm still not interested in french culture I should really quit)
I have a story about front of housing this show but I will save it for another post.
My job at the library is going decently, telling people what they can and can not do is going very well. I feel it is an area in which I truly excel.
I was walking around and there were a lot of people eating apples yesterday which is so frustrating because you can't save apples so they just throw them in the trash where they rot over night and attract fruit flies. I just wish people would accept that they need to eat other places. ANY OTHER BUILDING ON CAMPUS WILL ALLOW YOU TO EAT IN IT!! Also you can check books out and the library isn't even that comfy! So freaking ridiculous it makes me growl!
So I'm walking around yesterday and there are rooms you can book for you and your friends to talk openly and write on boards and stuff BUT NOT EAT IN! I see this room with 3 girls and this one guy and they have like chinese food take out dishes on the table. It was all eaten but I still have to tell them.
So I open the door and very politely say "we have a no eating policy in the library," all the girls of course apologize because tis what girls do. But this boy interrupts me "There's no food now so it's fine" and I just gave him my very best 'bitch please do not fuck with the black lady just doing her job' look. All the girls in the room were looking at this guy like she's going to kill you shut your mouth. And very curtly I say "well next time you'll know better and that you can't eat food in the library." and then I closed the door so I didn't have to deal. muahahahha!
Not as good as Tuesday though. I'm walking around and there's this guy eating up on the very top balcony floor area and people have the silly habit of just bringing it out as I'm walking by. Don't even wait to try and hide it. sad humans are sad. So there's this guy and he's eating so I do my little spiel and of course he was unhappy to be caught so he tried to be snappy.
He says "don't you ever get tired of nagging people?"
To which I laugh because it's one of my greatest skills. I tell this guy, "well I'm not going to get married and I"m not going to have kids so I might as well get it out somewhere." <---SASS! 
He put his food away and I didn't catch him again. I like to think that some people are just so impressed by me that they respect me. Or are so scared I will start shooting throwing stars out of my eyes that they keep it to themselves.
Anything else important?
I volunteered at this farm where they do a haunted house and I was a zombie with Priscilla, that was pretty cool. Though I have seriously injured my feet. I don't know if I pulled all the muscles in the top of them or what but so much pain going on down there.

Here's me as a zombie with Priscilla.

Tada c'est ma vie!
I'll post about meeting poopy lady tomorrow I am tired now.
C-Dawg!

Clark Kent is Super...RUDE!

Alright peeps so I've got a story for you about the rudeness in the youth of today. (And I think the fact that I'm takin the time to type it out on my iPod at Alfred's house just furthers the obviousness of how importance this all is. Also if you have an issue with my spelling mistakes take them else where. )
HERE WE GO!
So I'm once again working the alumni show at the Phoenix (working isn't really the correct term as its really for a class) but anyways I am front of house which means I deal with the theatre lobby and the patrons. It's a pretty goo and short show so it was really all easy no worries UNTIL THIS GIANT BAG OF SUCK WAS PLACED ON MY USHER SQUAD!
I have met this kid twice before, never had a problem, seemed decent but as my usher he is a jerk!
So one of the teachers calls him Clark Kent because he kinda looks like him( for those of you going what the heck. That's Superman's normal human name) but this kid does not deserve to be allied with he greatness that is Superman!
So we do an usher tour and on the tour around all the rules are laid it and we tell them what they're supposed to wear(black bottoms). And this kid in the tour asks why if we don't have black bottoms and I'm like "get a pair for 5 dollars at value village" he's like I'm poor. I laugh "I am 3 times more poor than you and I can buy a 5 dollar skirt you can buy pants." To be fair I also gave him the option of going to the costume people and begging for pants (pretty nice of me since wardrobe people hate ushers)
TUESDAY NIGHT: 1st preview show
This little rat shows up in grey dress pants and I'm just staring NO! GAPING at him like what the heck! And he has the audacity to say "you said dress pants"
BLACK! BLACK DRESS PANTS! So I send him to costume to get this fixed only to find out there is no wardrobe for this show.
Now this all really could have been avoided if the child, knowing he didn't have black pants, had just signed up for parking shifts where you can wear whatever you want! But no he signed up for all programs which is the shortest shift but is also the one where grey pants are most obvious! So we put him behind juice bar switch some people up.
I wish that had been the end but OH NO! So i set up with my dear friend, I once called her her real name I'm going to call her Pricilla here from now on though she might kill me. So I introduces them cause she works in costume shop so that he could get him some pants. We set it all up everything was good and he's like oh by the way I dot have that class I said I have tomorrow and Priscilla's like whatever just make sure you show up.....does he?
OF COURSE NOT!
So Wednesday:2nd preview night.
I forgot my phone at home when I went over to my fellow manager's house to prepare for the reception on Thursday.( we will call my partner Antonio, I was going to call him Steve but I knew he would take offence as we now have hundreds of jokes about this imagined guy named Steve)
So Antonio and I arrive at the theatre to set things up and get ready but Pricilla is there all like "hey gurl hey why no answer your phone when I text?" And hen she proceeds to explain to me about mr Kent who was too freaking good to show up at costume stock that morning at the allotted time and that the costume people are in an uproar over the whole thing and to send him over when he shows up in grey pants and I say "ok"
Kid shows up 5 minutes before his shift in BLACK PANTS! And I know he didn't get them from costume so I am just freaking livid! I'm all "where did ou get those?!"
He's "they're my suit pants"
I'm "why didn't you wear those yesterday?"
he says "because they're blue".
Honestly readers I could not tell these pants were blue. I would have to hold a flash light up to the fabric at the right angle or pull the threads out to tell that these freaking pants were blue! Try looked black! In the dim lobby lights they looked like black freaking pants! AND WHY when you have such dark blue pants would you wear GREY ONES!
So I'm just ready to lose it. But I don't guys and I think if you know me I deserve a round of applause for that one. I'll wait....*wild admiring applause*
So I say to this kid "why didn't you show up at costume?"
His completely unacceptable response:"I was sleeping!"
NO! So I start telling him why what he did was wrong and why he has to respect the costume hours and he just turns away and says "whatever stop giving me 'tude" and walks away....
I wanted to murder him, throw things, scream but I did not! I turned to Antonio and tell him to deal with this child I can not be near him. Anty's a pretty chill laid back guy and he's all no problem all over it! And this rude child totally respects him, does what he's told no problem! But is a total jerk to me! I don't even know!
So 8pm the show is supposed to start. We've got people buying last minute tickets and I'm suppose to cue the marketing kid for his speech. I'm making sure with the Parking ushers that no one is coming AND SUPERMAN HAS DECIDED IT'S TIME TO GO!
I lose it ( not in a violent way though more in a simmering volcanic explosion way). This kid is takin off his usher uniform in the lobby, patrons are still in the lobby! I go over and I'm like "what do you think you're doing?l
"It's 8pm I'm off shift"
So I lay it out for him. The fact that he's a first year, this is a mandatory thing he has to do to pass and while he's an usher he is under our command until we let him off for the night.
AND THIS BAG OF FLAMING FIERY DOUCH SAYS! "I have priorities outside of the Phoenix" he is not even looking at me he is being so rude, rolling his eyes.
I wil admit, my hand twitched. I wanted to beat him down so hard but I did not instead I turned
"ANTONIO!"
"Yes?"
"Deal with this kid!"
I go off to seat patrons and take care of getting he house closed leaving Antonio with jerk face
He takes one look t the situation says "put your vest back on"
DONE! Kid does it no complaints!!
We sorted everything else I counted everything Antonio dealt with the ushers and all was well...
Of course this kid couldn't leave without a snarky comment of how opinionated I am which yeah in real life I freaking am! But with him I'm just doing my job!
We also found out later that those outside priorities were frat related(yeah uvic has like one super lame frat) and I hope he was late and I hope they beat him up or punished him for it.
So, that's what I've been dealing with this week as well as super little sleek and a shit ton of baking for the reception last night that went really well.
Reasons for this child's douchiness as contributed by my fellow students include him being:
Racist
Sexist
Has mommy issues
Is a spoiled brat who was never spanked
Is just a boy (child please, this kid is 19)
He's of age in Canada so he has all the power now.


They go on but I think the top 4 are the most likely reasons.
Sigh whatever I don't have to see him for a week! And if he's still an ass then I'm probably just going to send him home with negative hours!
It should also be noted that all the other ushers are so nice and loving and do whatever I say that I have no problems with them.
Hooray!
Ttys bloggers