Stress Fractures

Oh hey world,

Clearly I have no interest in being on top of things right now so I'll just post in my blog instead of doing those stressful things.

So the past few days I've been apprenticing at a theater here in Victoria. And you know how when you get a new job you feel like you should be doing something, proving your worth....but there's like literally nothing for me to do so I just kind of stand. FOR HOURS!

The other night was opening and there were all these opera people around. I will tell you now, opera audiences are the worst most snobby above anyone else audience people you'll ever meet. Yes they applaud wildly, they give the act of watching opera their all. But they can just be soooooo rude and snippity. Anyways, so for opening night I basically stood for 12 hours. In heels, flat heels mind you that are usually very comfy but on this occasion decided to take me out.

My feet feel like all those snooty opera goers looked at little apprentice me standing in the corner and went

over and over and over again.

So me and some smart dancer type people have concluded that I probably have stress fractures in my feet. I can't even begin to explain the pain. It's constantly throbbing and I've made sure to stand as little as possible today. 

I've taken to pushing myself around my basement suite by using only my heels on my rolling chair. I kinda look like this

Only I'm super tired so I'm going much slower and some of my floor is carpeting so I kind of just hit that and stop. I just want my feet to stop hurting, massaging them hurts, stretching them hurts, wiggling my toes hurts. Pretty much everything hurts them accept heat packs and bubble baths.

And it's like people know my feet are super messed up so they're going around making my life as difficult as possible.

I went on a field trip today for my first year english class...to the library...the place where I work. And this dreary man who really knew nothing about the library tried to educate me and then made me walk down and back up the flights of stairs! Naturally I went to my teacher before this tour and was like "oh hey I work here, please don't make me go on this tour!" and he was like "NOPE! We're gunna have fun!" But all we got were some nasty glares in the silent area.

It doesn't help that last night closing at the library this rude kid wouldn't leave and then I'm pretty sure was hiding and now I don't even know if he actually left after I thought he left. He could have just come back upstairs when I was on a different floor! 

AND IT'S SO RUDE! People have no regard for me as a human, they just have this stupid goal of staying in the library over night which I can't image would be any fun at all. So my feet hurt more and more.

Now I have to go find some comfortable shoes to wear for the rest of march for this apprenticeship so my feet don't break.

I also have a ton of homework I have no interest in doing and won't be doing because I'm going to bed as soon as I finish writing this. My milk is going to go bad tomorrow which means I have to get more

and it's all just too much!

I need a caregiver! My friend Monica seems to think I just need a boyfriend but in my experience they generally don't do anything of use when you need them. No I need a caregiver. Someone to wash my dishes and make me food and hell, straighten my hair for me because my arms are too tired to reach.

Maybe I'll go over to the nursing department and ask if anyone needs some work experience (unpaid of course)  It would definitely make my life easier.

Right now I feel like this

Night!

Woop! Woop! It's Da Sound of Da Police!

Alright peeps.
So legit why I'm posting this song is because
1-I think it's funny
2-I've solved my stalker problems! (as far as I know)

So if you read my last 2 posts I told you about those two guys in the library that have been like following me and trying to get me to go out with them and just generally pissing me off.
Not to mention their super freaking creepy because they'll see me come in on the first floor and go hide some where else on another floor and wait for me to get to them and then try to talk me up.
Soops creepy.
So I was closing on Sunday and I was like you know what! I've had enough!
I've had a long day already. I don't need this creeps bothering me.
So I walk in the library.
I see them.
They see me.
They start their hiding games.
I go looking for them.
I find them in bottom floor stacks just creepin, pretending to study.
I don't even play man
I walk up to them and I tell them that if they don't leave me alone I will tell Campus Security. I will get a harassment claim against them. And I will get them expelled from school for threatening me and endangering a university employee.
They were pretty shocked.
I also know, because I went to this stupid lecture on visas for my stupid first year english class that they're not canadian
They're exchange students
So if they get expelled for harassment then they probably get deported and can never come back...I think they'll freaking leave me alone now.
HA!
Ha ha!
HA!
I am so happy!
Peace. <3

Black Etiquette: Acknowledgment

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
le people who read my blog I acknowledge your presence, I acknowledge you think I'm cool enough for your weekly routine, I acknowledge that there are many things I wish to write to you about since school has restarted but I have not the energy.
You know what's difficult? Being happy against your will ALL THE TIME!!
Something rather awful has happened recently in my life (no, no one has died fear not) and I just feel so terrible all the time (not terrible as if I did something wrong but terrible as in depressed) but I'm not depressed and I know this I can't imagine what depression must be like but probably like looking at life through a tube with a black force pressing down on you.
I do not feel like that...I guess I'm just sad. That's more accurate but like no one would ever know that I'm feeling sad because during the day it's like I'm floating on top of the world with an anchor of sadness tying me down.
Which has translated to people going...wtf is wrong with Cecilly she's so freaking happy all the time, how awful. I KNOW!
And now all you reading are like wow...this girl is on drugs isn't she? That makes all this make a whole lot of sense...
Well...yes and no? I'm not on drugs or happy pills or anything but I take Omega3 (fish oil) pills which are for your heart to make it healthy and since my heart will probably give out by 30 because I like Mexican food too much, my father feels that they're good for me and I can't disagree. But they improve so many things, your heart, lungs, bones, joint pain, and mental health! (something about insulating nerve cells in the brain or something) It's basically like a happy pill that isn't meant to be a happy pill but will help your happy levels out anyways.
Which you know is fine...I don't mind being happy but it also makes me feel more inclined to tell people things...I don't trust people enough to tell them such important things about my life...so I tell select people. I look at all my friends and go duck duck duck Goose! Because everyone knows ducks can't be trusted so I have to take a chance on the geese in my life (I think I have about 3 full fledged geese I would trust with the secrets of my existence)...which is basically just Antonio because I know he could not give a rip but won't tell me to go away and he won't tell anyone else because he doesn't like betraying people.
Yeah girls. Get yourself a good guy friend...who doesn't read your blog and will never find out you call him Antonio.
Also girls! Don't fall for your guy friends they're your friends who are boys why do you feel inclined to make them your boyfriends! ...well I guess guys do this too. Whatever make yourselves miserable...or get married. or both. Both may be for you.
Whatever! We're not talking about Cecilly issues. We're talking about what happened at work today!
So I work at the library as you may know from my pathetic ex running away from me there posts. And there are always these 2 black guys there when I work.
Now black people have this silent agreement or whatever that when you see another black person on the streets, in the library, at the beach you will smile/nod/ usually say hello. Lord knows if I know why! But my father ingrained it in me when I was a young child and I can't help but do it now and I'm no where near him. Maybe it's just a first world problem because there are so many white people around . Maybe it's just a way to acknowledge that there is another person of your colour walking around in your city who's ancestors experienced racism and slavery just like your ancestors. Just a common understanding that when you see each other you must nod to acknowledge your related ancestor struggles or like a "man, those white people you know?"  (to any other black people reading this who feel offended, I'm sorry)

So there are these 2 black guys that are ALWAYS there and they're pretty good. I've never caught them eating, I know they do because sometimes they have tupperware or garbage on their desks but they're quiet and they seem pleasant so I'm not going to be like I see you've eaten next time don't. And we always smile and acknowledge the other's ancestors or whatever.
So today I'm almost off work I'm so revved to get out of the library and I'm walking back to the loan desk and one of them smiles at me as I'm walking by and turns like normal people do to ask me a question and he's like "how are you?"
IMMEDIATE SUSPICION!
But I am Canadian so I must be polite...."I'm good thanks how are you?"
I pray please all mighty powers of the world and anything else that this man just wants computer help on which I know nothing about.
"I'm good, I'm good...so what's your name?" oooooono!
I should have lied! I would have if I had not a name tag!
"oh that's a nice name, so you work here?" "mmhmm..." "cool cool so can I get your number?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why sir! I work in the library! I acknowledge you because we are both black! I have, to my knowledge, never made any advances or indications that I find you either attractive or that I want you! NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY NUMBER!
So like every girl in this situation I lie and say oh I have a boyfriend thanks...which he didn't seem to care about. Like he was going to be better than my non-existent boyfriend I just had to give him my number and he would prove that.
....
I did not give him my number.
But he had wasted the last 5 minutes of my shift and I ran back to the Phoenix where it is safer and I don't worry about random people I don't know trying to engage with me.
So there you go.
That's what this blog post was about but I don't edit so if you've made it this far I would tell you to forget that first part but I'm not going to go back and delete all that.
Sigh how to be pathetic? See Cecilly.
Lols bye!

Where Have All The Good Humans Gone?

Um, hi world.
So I'm having a little bit of doubt in the goodness of humanity currently and yes I'm going to tell you why right now.
So there I was at work. I was on the closing shift as per usual on my Saturday's and I had just started the closing part. Now my trainer guy told me that once I got a hang of closing I could listen to music. Well this is like my 4th shift on closing and I decided it was time! I needed some serious goodness to get me through the next hour! AWAY I WENT! First up on my playlist? Requiem for a Dream Why? Because it is an excellent combination of bad ass and epic and I need super goodness when I'm running up stairs.
So I'm running up the stairs like a woman on a mission when I hear banging just before the 3rd floor landing. I stop...!(COLLABORATE) and listen...silence....I look around it appears to be just me that has heard the banging. I think maybe it's part of the music I've never recognized before....start to climb the stairs again. MORE BANGING! I look around.
There's maybe 3 people on the floor below me I can see and none of them have noticed this banging. They're quite contently reading their books (and no they didn't have head phones in)...
And then I hear screaming and banging! So I run up the rest of the stairs trying to figure this out. No one is on the 3rd floor, the pronunciation center is closed, it's not coming from the bathroom...
More screaming it sounds like they're yelling Nissan? It's coming from the pronunciation center which is closed as of 3pm.
Some how this little asian girl pushed her way through the door, she said she thought it was the bathroom....The bathroom was like 5 feet away with a sign on the door!
Now honestly, and maybe this is racist, but if you're going to scream for help scream for help child! I don't know what nissan means I need a help me or rape or something.
Kid's just lucky I was walking by!
SINCE NONE OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE LIBRARY COULD BE BOTHERED TO HELP HER!
And this is where my doubt in humanity comes from.
Partly from her for being too stupid to read washrooms signs and forcing her way into a clearly closed area that honestly just looks like a wall. I don't know how she didn't realize it wasn't a bathroom.
Secondly! From the people around that paid no attention to her yelling and banging. And I mean this child must have been throwing all her might into that door because it was loud!
I still can't believe that no one came to help her! I don't know how long she was there before I came along!
Does this mean I'm going to stop listening to music on my Saturday night closing shift? No.
Am I worried that she may have planted a bomb or ruined something in the pronunciation center....maybe....but there's nothing I can do! If the library blows up tomorrow....I'll have no job and be very sad.
Though I'm sad anyways because I finished the rest of my spinach bread bowl...sad times indeed.
Oh well.
Go out and do something good, please. I want to believe that the people in this world don't suck.
Goodnight.

My Poetic Week with Zombies and Books

Ola oi oi readers!
It's been almost a week since my last post, what blasphemy. And Priscilla is just super peeved at me for not posting because apparently she's my number one fan.
So I'm going to make a post though I have no idea where to start because so much stuff has gone down in the past week! Let's give it a go!
I'm just going to start with today and work backwards, maybe make more than one post, see how we do.
Well readers I guess I should start with the tragic news that I am in fact dead and my ghost has returned from the dead to give you this post.
Yes in motherland Victoria, where the earthquakes aim to kill we had an earthquake drill today. Unfortunately I was too busy spewing out every last fact I know about musicals from the 1700's-1960 in my commercial theater midterm. So due to the size of the quake, the 40 year old Phoenix building has been leveled, taking an entire class of hopeful historians with it. (Lies I would never want to waste my life reviewing archives of 1890 productions.)
It's not that much of a loss really. It just means that I won't have to edit the terrible poem I handed in for writing this morning.
WHY DO POEMS EXIST!?! I really feel like someone way back when was just a really bad story teller so he strung together a few images with rhymes and was like voila my piece d'existance! and every one was like c'est qoui ca? Ce n'est pas un histoire!
and this guy who of course was pretentious as all hell because he's a poet AND FRENCH! was like no no it's a poem! It's like a story but better!
And all the french went hmmmmmm...oui! J'accept!
Because the french, though critical are all accepting of anything that is wholly french. And yeah poetry is probably a Greek thing in actuality but if the french are good at it they will claim it as their own. (We had french students come to speak to us today in french, can you tell I'm still not interested in french culture I should really quit)
I have a story about front of housing this show but I will save it for another post.
My job at the library is going decently, telling people what they can and can not do is going very well. I feel it is an area in which I truly excel.
I was walking around and there were a lot of people eating apples yesterday which is so frustrating because you can't save apples so they just throw them in the trash where they rot over night and attract fruit flies. I just wish people would accept that they need to eat other places. ANY OTHER BUILDING ON CAMPUS WILL ALLOW YOU TO EAT IN IT!! Also you can check books out and the library isn't even that comfy! So freaking ridiculous it makes me growl!
So I'm walking around yesterday and there are rooms you can book for you and your friends to talk openly and write on boards and stuff BUT NOT EAT IN! I see this room with 3 girls and this one guy and they have like chinese food take out dishes on the table. It was all eaten but I still have to tell them.
So I open the door and very politely say "we have a no eating policy in the library," all the girls of course apologize because tis what girls do. But this boy interrupts me "There's no food now so it's fine" and I just gave him my very best 'bitch please do not fuck with the black lady just doing her job' look. All the girls in the room were looking at this guy like she's going to kill you shut your mouth. And very curtly I say "well next time you'll know better and that you can't eat food in the library." and then I closed the door so I didn't have to deal. muahahahha!
Not as good as Tuesday though. I'm walking around and there's this guy eating up on the very top balcony floor area and people have the silly habit of just bringing it out as I'm walking by. Don't even wait to try and hide it. sad humans are sad. So there's this guy and he's eating so I do my little spiel and of course he was unhappy to be caught so he tried to be snappy.
He says "don't you ever get tired of nagging people?"
To which I laugh because it's one of my greatest skills. I tell this guy, "well I'm not going to get married and I"m not going to have kids so I might as well get it out somewhere." <---SASS! 
He put his food away and I didn't catch him again. I like to think that some people are just so impressed by me that they respect me. Or are so scared I will start shooting throwing stars out of my eyes that they keep it to themselves.
Anything else important?
I volunteered at this farm where they do a haunted house and I was a zombie with Priscilla, that was pretty cool. Though I have seriously injured my feet. I don't know if I pulled all the muscles in the top of them or what but so much pain going on down there.

Here's me as a zombie with Priscilla.

Tada c'est ma vie!
I'll post about meeting poopy lady tomorrow I am tired now.
C-Dawg!