Sooooo as some of you know I'm going to be an asian whore in the upcoming production of Miss Saigon in Victoria (It opens this week)
And you may have read all the way back to when I was taking pole dance lessons and all I wanted was to be a call girl.
For reals, being a whore is my calling next to singing and acting.
So when I got in Miss Saigon I was ecstatic! I mean there's only 1 and a half actual asians in the show and I'm black but I figured I look more asian than all the white people. So yes stoked! I was going to be a whore!
But every step of the way to my whoredom has been a struggle. Yes I get to be a whore but I am the most reserved nunish looking whore you've ever seen.
See we have this costume designer.
He makes great show girl pieces.
Fine.
But man does he have a hate on for fat girls.
There's me, another girl (who has slimmed down significantly during this run) and an old lady and we're all in traditional, pretty sure they're chinese, dresses for this bar scene.
Do I feel like a whore?
No.
All he did to make it more whorish was raise the skirt....so when I lift my arms above my head the whole dress goes up and my bottom is definitely exposed. Don't worry, I'm wearing underwear on top of my tights.
So yeah. Naturally we feel like shit as every other girl in the scene is walking around in bras, panties, lingerie, bathing suits. Completely exposed!
And they complain about it!
They complain about being uncomfortable.
They complain about the me being creepy and gross. (Some of them are but the rest are acting that's why we're here)
Of course, I'm the only girl in the show with actual pole dance experience but instead of getting up and working the pole I'm made into a vendor.
A vendor with a very ill fitting shirt.
And during The American Dream, while everyone is either in show girl 2 pieces or form fitting dresses this man took a sheet of fabric. cut a whole in the middle and glued some stars on it!
I am wearing a drape, literally.
It really sucks you know, when you give up a lot of your time and put a ton of hard work into something only to be treated like shit and given low self esteem.
Naturally the costume guy has not yet insulted me directly as I would tear him a new one. But some of the things he's said to the other girl are just unacceptable.
If I could I would just switch out his dresses for lingerie of my own, he probably wouldn't even notice since he doesn't focus on us. But I'm not going to bother. We're almost to opening.
There's no point in getting worked up now.
On the other hand, I'm getting my hair dyed black so I don't have to wear a wig....
The joys of theater continue.
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?
I have some spare time here and I'm not really sleepy so I'd like to address a little something.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.
Monday, 12 November 2012
Confessions of a Fan Fiction Addict
Hi my name is Cecilly and I am addicted to fanfiction.
It all started a little over a year ago when my friend introduced me to Severus/Hermione fanfiction from Harry Potter. I quickly became obsessed....mostly because I love Snape and Alan Rickman so much. I vowed to myself that it would never go beyond that....but it has. I am ashamed to admit that I have begun to read and support the Snarry ship! (Snape/Harry)
I know! It's so wrong of me! Snape loved his mother, he has his mother's eyes! (not that I support Lily in anyway, I think she was a terrible human being and an even worse friend...but I'm not going to get into an argument with the Jily, Snily shippers of the world)
At first I didn't understand, how could they be together with this prior connection and I couldn't get behind the smut. (I'm not homophobic I just can't fit my mind into the equations of gay sex) but then I found the Marriage Stone! And for those of you who know it are sitting at their computers raising their eyes and crying out for the whereabouts of Josephine Darcy who disappeared years ago in the middle of the most perfect, epic Snarry fic ever written! And we know she had every intention of continuing. She says in the last chapter (chapter 77) that she'll update very soon that she is free from whatever relative visiting function she had been pulled away by....and then nothing....OH THE PAIN AND CRUELTY!!!
Clearly I should have started my expectations much lower because nothing meets its standards....I don't even really read Snarry because there's just nothing very good out there. I want romance and wooing! Which is why I stick to Snamoine but fanfiction has ruined my life.
I see it everywhere! I SHIP REGULAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I DREAM OF BUILDING A FLEET OF COUPLES AND SETTING THEM A SAIL ON THE HIGH HOLY WATERS! This summer I finally cried at Boromir's death in Lord of the Rings because I learnt to ship everyone in the fellowship!
I AM RUINED!! So ruined!!
And even though I think real life sucks and people suck and relationships are a waste of time...I'm contemplating going on a date?
What is wrong with me?
Am I doing it just because people don't think I could? NEWS FLASH! I'm a freaking awesome girlfriend. I can do everything!
We're gonna do all the things all the couples like to do.
We're gonna go to a movie, we're gonna have some dinner, take a walk, look at the moonlight, Anything you want (but baby I got a question...)
No I don't that's just Danko Jones creeping into my head. Remember that song? CLASSIC!
Anyways! For what good reason would I have to have a boyfriend! I already have Alfred! ...He'd probably be super mad at me for writing about this and not telling him... besides he's riding with his friends to Tofino, crazy person....sometimes I need better friends? Yeah the ones I have are pretty good for specific occasions but they're not very good with feed back...
Maybe I just need to sing about it...or crawl up in a ball and cry about it...or watch Pride and Prejudice again....or insult people! That usually makes me feel better.
I was just thinking today about how we need a really good plague to come along and wipe out some of the stupid people! I have a pretty sweet immune system so I think I could hold out until they've found a cure...or it just goes away...but I'm worried that 21st century plagues are just rage viruses and I am NOT dealing with freaking zombies! Yup watch Joss Whedon being awesome and clarifying why I was so afraid of Romney winning president.
It all started a little over a year ago when my friend introduced me to Severus/Hermione fanfiction from Harry Potter. I quickly became obsessed....mostly because I love Snape and Alan Rickman so much. I vowed to myself that it would never go beyond that....but it has. I am ashamed to admit that I have begun to read and support the Snarry ship! (Snape/Harry)
I know! It's so wrong of me! Snape loved his mother, he has his mother's eyes! (not that I support Lily in anyway, I think she was a terrible human being and an even worse friend...but I'm not going to get into an argument with the Jily, Snily shippers of the world)
At first I didn't understand, how could they be together with this prior connection and I couldn't get behind the smut. (I'm not homophobic I just can't fit my mind into the equations of gay sex) but then I found the Marriage Stone! And for those of you who know it are sitting at their computers raising their eyes and crying out for the whereabouts of Josephine Darcy who disappeared years ago in the middle of the most perfect, epic Snarry fic ever written! And we know she had every intention of continuing. She says in the last chapter (chapter 77) that she'll update very soon that she is free from whatever relative visiting function she had been pulled away by....and then nothing....OH THE PAIN AND CRUELTY!!!
Clearly I should have started my expectations much lower because nothing meets its standards....I don't even really read Snarry because there's just nothing very good out there. I want romance and wooing! Which is why I stick to Snamoine but fanfiction has ruined my life.
I see it everywhere! I SHIP REGULAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I DREAM OF BUILDING A FLEET OF COUPLES AND SETTING THEM A SAIL ON THE HIGH HOLY WATERS! This summer I finally cried at Boromir's death in Lord of the Rings because I learnt to ship everyone in the fellowship!
I AM RUINED!! So ruined!!
And even though I think real life sucks and people suck and relationships are a waste of time...I'm contemplating going on a date?
What is wrong with me?
Am I doing it just because people don't think I could? NEWS FLASH! I'm a freaking awesome girlfriend. I can do everything!
We're gonna do all the things all the couples like to do.
We're gonna go to a movie, we're gonna have some dinner, take a walk, look at the moonlight, Anything you want (but baby I got a question...)
No I don't that's just Danko Jones creeping into my head. Remember that song? CLASSIC!
Anyways! For what good reason would I have to have a boyfriend! I already have Alfred! ...He'd probably be super mad at me for writing about this and not telling him... besides he's riding with his friends to Tofino, crazy person....sometimes I need better friends? Yeah the ones I have are pretty good for specific occasions but they're not very good with feed back...
Maybe I just need to sing about it...or crawl up in a ball and cry about it...or watch Pride and Prejudice again....or insult people! That usually makes me feel better.
I was just thinking today about how we need a really good plague to come along and wipe out some of the stupid people! I have a pretty sweet immune system so I think I could hold out until they've found a cure...or it just goes away...but I'm worried that 21st century plagues are just rage viruses and I am NOT dealing with freaking zombies! Yup watch Joss Whedon being awesome and clarifying why I was so afraid of Romney winning president.
Whatever the Obama's are awesome.
I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. So a summary of what has been discussed here today:
- Yes I think I should have the right to evaluate each human's intelligence and determine if they should have the privilege of living in a 1st, 2nd or 3rd world country with the stupidest humans earning a special category of "On the Moon far away from me and the rest of society so they can't infect us with their stupidity"
- Yes I'm glad that Obama won and that Michelle can continue to be a good role model to ladies, but especially the black ones, so that they no longer have to look to Oprah and her soul OWNing tv shows for guidance.
- Yes I think relationships are a stupid waste of time but
- No I have not decided whether or not I should go on a date from this post...computer screens don't give very good feed back...maybe a combo of ask.com and tumblr will help me sort through this dilemma.
- Yes fan fiction is a thing if you didn't know that already, most of your friends are probably closet readers, some may even read 50 Shades of Grey which is Twilight fanfiction that renamed the characters and became mommy porn. Though I only limit myself to Harry Potter pairings someone one day might write something almost as deserving as my HP love and I will concede to ship them as well.
- No I am not at all adverse to becoming a old lady with nothing but my fanfiction to keep me alive. At least it's not cats, I will save money on cat food and won't die of a hair ball that slowly develops in my esophagus over years because my cats shed so much. (SO THERE YOU CRAZY OLD CAT LADIES GET A REAL OBSESSION!)
Alright 6 is too many numbers. I'm stopping. I'm going to bed. I think this is all part of the regular mid-November reading break crisis that overwhelms me every year...not aided by the fact that I have to see the fine arts counselor tomorrow who will most likely tell me I'm no where near graduation and I suck at life...
JOYS!
So I'll just spiral back down into the pit of despair and fan fiction which is an excellent absorber of pathetic spirits and self doubts.
Oh well!
Good night world
Saturday, 3 November 2012
Ex-Factors
You know world, I did a really good thing today. Like a really really good thing, I saved someone a whole lot of trouble....though they may not have been of deserving intelligence so why do cruel reminders pop up when you're feeling good about yourself?
Let me explain the events of my day:
Today I had to attend the safety talk for the Fall Mainstage that started around 11:30 (funny enough there was a fire alarm in the middle of the tech run that followed) which meant that I had to get up a whole hour earlier than I was planning to for a run that wasn't supposed to start til 1pm. And really my only purpose was to explain timed note taking to the girls that will be front of house managing this show because I'm their mentor (WOE IS ME!)
Anyways so I left my house, worried that I would miss my bus (Turns out the schedule was wrong and there is no bus at that time anyways) when there I see in the running gutter water a wallet.....with hundreds of cards in it....And I think to myself: Cecilly, you are a good person. You should return this girl's wallet! Imagine how worried she must be! She'll have to call all of those cards to cancel them! It's only 11 if you're lucky she's still super drunk and passed out and hasn't done that yet!
So I was a good person, I took the wallet with me to school so I could contact her...only her phone number was not in the wallet...personally I think you should always have your phone number in your wallet! I google the address on her drivers license...it's over in Gorge that's almost an hour long bus ride from my house! I don't have time for that! So me and the 2 other girls I'm mentoring begin calling the customer service numbers on the back of all these cards. Of course it's a weekend so many of them were closed...way to go customer service...
I know you're sitting at home reading this and thinking god Cecilly it's 2012 just facebook that girl! WELL I TRIED!!! But she had the most plain jane name! There were hundreds of her, many didn't look like her, most were from the other side of the world!
I finally got in touch with her credit card people and told them what happened to which they said: "Oh thank you for telling us we'll be sure to contact her have a nice day" and hung up.....excuse me lady...but you didn't take my number...how is she going to be able to find the person that has her stuff without that info...I may have just gotten her credit card canceled....OH WELL! DON'T LOOSE YOUR STUFF!!!
Basically it came down to calling the La Senza at the Bay Center (A mall downtown) because customer service is closed, begging the nice girl for her membership phone number, breaking the privacy policy at La Senza and getting her number....BUT OF COURSE SHE WOULD NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!
Ridiculous, you would think, no matter how drunk you were last night, that you would have your phone on when you've lost your wallet.....I called her about 6 times. Finally she turned her phone on and answered!
The problem? She didn't know where she was....how do you not know where you are? According to your drivers license you have lived in Victoria for at least 3 years and you don't know where you currently are? AND THEN SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE UVIC WAS!? WHAT?! ridiculous. More ridiculous is that where she was is still a 15 minute drive by car from my house and where her wallet was...How did your wallet end up outside my house! W
Whatever, I gave the crazy child directions and left it with the box office and then went out in the rain because of this fire drill....
I kid you not the world wants me to die!
So then! I'm feeling pretty good about my good deeds and what not. Girl got her wallet back and all her gift cards. Didn't have to cancel anything. I have work in an hour so I figure THAI FOOD! The only worthy treat! I even got to go with Gumpette who I almost never see anymore! It was going to be totally awesome!
But no, who would be outside of Fairway? Why none other than my least favorite human. You know he really brings it on himself. I wanted to be normal and friendly but no! Several times he has seen me and I KNOW he has and he has run away! That's PATHETIC! So I see him, he sees me avoids my eyes and runs into Fairway with his girlfriend (I assume it's his girlfriend) even though I was mid-wave. Whatever I didn't want to be nice anyways.
So I order my thai food and we're walking to cobs because Gumpette has it in for tasty bread and there he coming around the corner with what I can only assume are his 7 other roommates. (How awful would that be to have 7 roommates!)
He TRIES TO LOOK AWAY BUT I'M LIKE HELL NO!
So I very politely say Hi Matt. And yes I'm using his real name because he really doesn't deserve the decency to have his identity hidden. I can see him thinking about ignoring it but he says Hi...and runs away with his army of music kids.
I'm just freaking livid! but also Why do I care! Gumpette even said you can do so much better and I have. I had done better before I even dated him!
Even the drug dealer with the dog collar and chain in gr. 8 was better looking and a better boyfriend than him!
So I guess you're wondering why I settled for the bottom of the barrel.
Low self-esteem! And never again will I find myself in such a state of self loathing and misery and loneliness! Going into grade 10 everything was wrong and worthless but along comes this gaped toothed bag of douche who likes to sing (though his voice makes my ears cringe) and tells me I'm beautiful? Of course I fell.
Even when I found out what terrible humans he and his family are, even when he told me there was no point in staying together if we weren't getting married, even when he called me stupid and got me the most inconsiderate/insulting/insincere gifts or else told me that someone who realized how shitty his gifts were made him get something a little more heart felt I didn't leave him.
Why?
Fear probably. I remember when he told me he never wanted to leave Maple Ridge and that we might as well break up if marriage wasn't the result of our dating. Part of me was so mad and disgusted that this was the ultimatum but we didn't break up. I stayed with this jerk for a year, trying to convince myself that maybe one day I could marry him because what if no one else wanted me. Such bullshit. Of course I had my own faults in the relationship but I like to believe they were my passive aggressive attempts at payback for how low he made me feel.
Then one day he made the mistake of telling me that I was only one of 2 girls he had considered dating before he settled on me. The other was my very close friend, way out of his league, light years above me in looks but of course he realized she would never choose him when she had dozens of better looking boys throwing themselves at her feet. So he settled for me.
I think being told you're second best by someone you trust and think you love is about the worst feeling you can experience.
Today after watching the Good Person of Setzuan I was mad that Shen Te always goes back for Yang Sun even though when she's disguised as a man she can see clearly that he doesn't love her. My friend asked me had I ever been in love. I would like to think so but I guess that answer means no. But even if I haven't been in love I've experienced something like what Shen Te must have felt. Knowing one thing but ignoring it for another.
Yeah I would like to throw things at Matt. I won't but I'd like to, I might swear at him next time I see him alone.
The point of all this is that even though I'm really awesome now I wasn't always and I've learned a lot over the years that you can't let other people get to you. But you can let them pump you up! Which is why Alfred is over to kiss my feet and remind me why I deserve to rule the world. He's also agreed to watch Pride and Prejudice (though I think he's making fun of Kiara Knightly inside his head).
Whatever!
Stay strong readers!
You might get lucky and become stellar like me! <3
ps: if you're currently with an asshole and you think you're in love and that's making you irrational give me a call. I'll come straighten out his attitude!
Let me explain the events of my day:
Today I had to attend the safety talk for the Fall Mainstage that started around 11:30 (funny enough there was a fire alarm in the middle of the tech run that followed) which meant that I had to get up a whole hour earlier than I was planning to for a run that wasn't supposed to start til 1pm. And really my only purpose was to explain timed note taking to the girls that will be front of house managing this show because I'm their mentor (WOE IS ME!)
Anyways so I left my house, worried that I would miss my bus (Turns out the schedule was wrong and there is no bus at that time anyways) when there I see in the running gutter water a wallet.....with hundreds of cards in it....And I think to myself: Cecilly, you are a good person. You should return this girl's wallet! Imagine how worried she must be! She'll have to call all of those cards to cancel them! It's only 11 if you're lucky she's still super drunk and passed out and hasn't done that yet!
So I was a good person, I took the wallet with me to school so I could contact her...only her phone number was not in the wallet...personally I think you should always have your phone number in your wallet! I google the address on her drivers license...it's over in Gorge that's almost an hour long bus ride from my house! I don't have time for that! So me and the 2 other girls I'm mentoring begin calling the customer service numbers on the back of all these cards. Of course it's a weekend so many of them were closed...way to go customer service...
I know you're sitting at home reading this and thinking god Cecilly it's 2012 just facebook that girl! WELL I TRIED!!! But she had the most plain jane name! There were hundreds of her, many didn't look like her, most were from the other side of the world!
I finally got in touch with her credit card people and told them what happened to which they said: "Oh thank you for telling us we'll be sure to contact her have a nice day" and hung up.....excuse me lady...but you didn't take my number...how is she going to be able to find the person that has her stuff without that info...I may have just gotten her credit card canceled....OH WELL! DON'T LOOSE YOUR STUFF!!!
Basically it came down to calling the La Senza at the Bay Center (A mall downtown) because customer service is closed, begging the nice girl for her membership phone number, breaking the privacy policy at La Senza and getting her number....BUT OF COURSE SHE WOULD NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!
Ridiculous, you would think, no matter how drunk you were last night, that you would have your phone on when you've lost your wallet.....I called her about 6 times. Finally she turned her phone on and answered!
The problem? She didn't know where she was....how do you not know where you are? According to your drivers license you have lived in Victoria for at least 3 years and you don't know where you currently are? AND THEN SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE UVIC WAS!? WHAT?! ridiculous. More ridiculous is that where she was is still a 15 minute drive by car from my house and where her wallet was...How did your wallet end up outside my house! W
Whatever, I gave the crazy child directions and left it with the box office and then went out in the rain because of this fire drill....
I kid you not the world wants me to die!
So then! I'm feeling pretty good about my good deeds and what not. Girl got her wallet back and all her gift cards. Didn't have to cancel anything. I have work in an hour so I figure THAI FOOD! The only worthy treat! I even got to go with Gumpette who I almost never see anymore! It was going to be totally awesome!
But no, who would be outside of Fairway? Why none other than my least favorite human. You know he really brings it on himself. I wanted to be normal and friendly but no! Several times he has seen me and I KNOW he has and he has run away! That's PATHETIC! So I see him, he sees me avoids my eyes and runs into Fairway with his girlfriend (I assume it's his girlfriend) even though I was mid-wave. Whatever I didn't want to be nice anyways.
So I order my thai food and we're walking to cobs because Gumpette has it in for tasty bread and there he coming around the corner with what I can only assume are his 7 other roommates. (How awful would that be to have 7 roommates!)
He TRIES TO LOOK AWAY BUT I'M LIKE HELL NO!
So I very politely say Hi Matt. And yes I'm using his real name because he really doesn't deserve the decency to have his identity hidden. I can see him thinking about ignoring it but he says Hi...and runs away with his army of music kids.
I'm just freaking livid! but also Why do I care! Gumpette even said you can do so much better and I have. I had done better before I even dated him!
Even the drug dealer with the dog collar and chain in gr. 8 was better looking and a better boyfriend than him!
So I guess you're wondering why I settled for the bottom of the barrel.
Low self-esteem! And never again will I find myself in such a state of self loathing and misery and loneliness! Going into grade 10 everything was wrong and worthless but along comes this gaped toothed bag of douche who likes to sing (though his voice makes my ears cringe) and tells me I'm beautiful? Of course I fell.
Even when I found out what terrible humans he and his family are, even when he told me there was no point in staying together if we weren't getting married, even when he called me stupid and got me the most inconsiderate/insulting/insincere gifts or else told me that someone who realized how shitty his gifts were made him get something a little more heart felt I didn't leave him.
Why?
Fear probably. I remember when he told me he never wanted to leave Maple Ridge and that we might as well break up if marriage wasn't the result of our dating. Part of me was so mad and disgusted that this was the ultimatum but we didn't break up. I stayed with this jerk for a year, trying to convince myself that maybe one day I could marry him because what if no one else wanted me. Such bullshit. Of course I had my own faults in the relationship but I like to believe they were my passive aggressive attempts at payback for how low he made me feel.
Then one day he made the mistake of telling me that I was only one of 2 girls he had considered dating before he settled on me. The other was my very close friend, way out of his league, light years above me in looks but of course he realized she would never choose him when she had dozens of better looking boys throwing themselves at her feet. So he settled for me.
I think being told you're second best by someone you trust and think you love is about the worst feeling you can experience.
Today after watching the Good Person of Setzuan I was mad that Shen Te always goes back for Yang Sun even though when she's disguised as a man she can see clearly that he doesn't love her. My friend asked me had I ever been in love. I would like to think so but I guess that answer means no. But even if I haven't been in love I've experienced something like what Shen Te must have felt. Knowing one thing but ignoring it for another.
Yeah I would like to throw things at Matt. I won't but I'd like to, I might swear at him next time I see him alone.
The point of all this is that even though I'm really awesome now I wasn't always and I've learned a lot over the years that you can't let other people get to you. But you can let them pump you up! Which is why Alfred is over to kiss my feet and remind me why I deserve to rule the world. He's also agreed to watch Pride and Prejudice (though I think he's making fun of Kiara Knightly inside his head).
Whatever!
Stay strong readers!
You might get lucky and become stellar like me! <3
ps: if you're currently with an asshole and you think you're in love and that's making you irrational give me a call. I'll come straighten out his attitude!
Friday, 19 October 2012
POOPY LADY 2012!
Alright kiddies,
I will now impart upon you the struggles of being a front of house manager. I hope you're comfortable.
Let's start with yesterday when I survived 'Poopy Lady', the nickname of possibly the most troublesome Phoenix patron....I suppose I have to tell you how she got the nickname....
WELL!! A long very long time ago she came to see a show. Now she is a very old woman, should not be driving but she does and I have yet to hear any reports of her killing people. This lady has really really really bad arthritis. Her hands barely moved and her fingers are all curled inwards so she can't really pick anything up. So one day all those years ago she arrived late to a show (She is always late even though the shows have always started at 8) and she insisted that she must go to the bathroom.
From there we are a little lost as to the events but we assume that she did not actually sit down on the toilet but sort of squatted and went to the bathroom....but she missed and there was poop all over the floor. Naturally a terribly embarrassing incident but she tried to remedy it but picking it off the floor....only to kind of smear it around the stall instead because her hands don't work properly.
All speculation mind you we have no idea what truly happened other than a stall covered in poop was discovered shortly later.
So we seated this woman and started the show but all these people kept coming out and complaining about the smell in the theater. Turns out there was poop all down her pants and she wreaked. she got it all over the theater seat as well and they had to like steam dry clean it or something I don't really know of the story behind the seat.
Thus giving her the name, Poopy Lady. Remember this did not happen to me thank goodness!
However last night, it is 8 pm and the stage manager is just doing her last minute call when i see this very slow moving mass coming towards me from the parking lot....I JUST NOW IT IS HER! and as they got closer IT WAS! I had this second year shadowing me, she was kind of excited...that changed fast.
So they're already late, then she can't find her ticket because her hands don't work and she's kind of just scooping things out of her purse. And then her friend, who's not a very good friend just abandons her and runs off to sit down! This woman moves at about snail speed, that is not exaggerating that is fact!
I've got my ushers helping her into the theater and she's hacking! (well like quiet hacking but a soft equivalent of death) and she's spitting up into these napkins! We just make it to the theater door and she's like "I need more napkins!" and i'm like oh god! So I send my usher to get more paper towel from the bathroom and I begin helping her down the steps to her seat. WHY IS THIS WOMAN IN THE FRONT FREAKING ROW! Because her friend likes it there of course! Just freaking rude, no consideration for anyone else.
So I finally get her down and into the seat, hand her more tissue and start the show. Only 10 minutes late which is good considering most of her incidents start 20 minutes late.
All is well I count everything, all adds up I'm happy. Show gets out everyone is happy I am happy.....then stage management comes on the headsets asking for a manager to come into the theater and check on this woman. One of my ushers comes running out and is all freaked out by this woman who appears to be dying. I think to myself "HELL NO! If she's going to pick today to die! I'm bringing Sandra (boss lady) with me!" So I do. She's not dying.....just coughing and spitting everywhere.
They insist that they don't want the rest of their seats for the season changed they just enjoy causing trouble in the theater. And then PL insists on stopping to eat some chocolate to help her cough....that's not how it works crazy!
Takes about 20 minutes to get her out of the theater alone, and we're doing a sweep when the girl I've been mentoring comes up and tells me that there's a pile of wet napkins where she was sitting and a really wet cloth......NOOOOOO! GROSS!!! But there's literally no one else I can get to do it!
So I had to go into concession, grab some gloves and a plastic bag and go clean up this drool mess!
I. WANTED. TO. BARF! it was just awful, thank god it didn't smell or anything but like SERIOUSLY! That's not acceptable! Stay home! You shouldn't be driving anyways!
Then I came home and cried because I had no milk (Alfred drank it all) and I was scarred for life by the feeling of wet, squishy dish cloths.
Then of course tonight, Clark Kent once again failed to become Superman and decided to just not show up. SIGH! Unimpressed! Along with discovering other problems where Antonio messed up! And then I ended up with 5 dollars over the amount we should have had. But I'm pretty sure we'll find it tomorrow. I really shouldn't have put Mr. Kent's replacement in the concession, she's just not all there in the head.
Oh well.
I'm super tired and Alfred brought me more milk so I'm just going to have hot chocolate, a message and watch Shrek. Then to bed I go!
Love you followers
Night.
I will now impart upon you the struggles of being a front of house manager. I hope you're comfortable.
Let's start with yesterday when I survived 'Poopy Lady', the nickname of possibly the most troublesome Phoenix patron....I suppose I have to tell you how she got the nickname....
WELL!! A long very long time ago she came to see a show. Now she is a very old woman, should not be driving but she does and I have yet to hear any reports of her killing people. This lady has really really really bad arthritis. Her hands barely moved and her fingers are all curled inwards so she can't really pick anything up. So one day all those years ago she arrived late to a show (She is always late even though the shows have always started at 8) and she insisted that she must go to the bathroom.
From there we are a little lost as to the events but we assume that she did not actually sit down on the toilet but sort of squatted and went to the bathroom....but she missed and there was poop all over the floor. Naturally a terribly embarrassing incident but she tried to remedy it but picking it off the floor....only to kind of smear it around the stall instead because her hands don't work properly.
All speculation mind you we have no idea what truly happened other than a stall covered in poop was discovered shortly later.
So we seated this woman and started the show but all these people kept coming out and complaining about the smell in the theater. Turns out there was poop all down her pants and she wreaked. she got it all over the theater seat as well and they had to like steam dry clean it or something I don't really know of the story behind the seat.
Thus giving her the name, Poopy Lady. Remember this did not happen to me thank goodness!
However last night, it is 8 pm and the stage manager is just doing her last minute call when i see this very slow moving mass coming towards me from the parking lot....I JUST NOW IT IS HER! and as they got closer IT WAS! I had this second year shadowing me, she was kind of excited...that changed fast.
So they're already late, then she can't find her ticket because her hands don't work and she's kind of just scooping things out of her purse. And then her friend, who's not a very good friend just abandons her and runs off to sit down! This woman moves at about snail speed, that is not exaggerating that is fact!
I've got my ushers helping her into the theater and she's hacking! (well like quiet hacking but a soft equivalent of death) and she's spitting up into these napkins! We just make it to the theater door and she's like "I need more napkins!" and i'm like oh god! So I send my usher to get more paper towel from the bathroom and I begin helping her down the steps to her seat. WHY IS THIS WOMAN IN THE FRONT FREAKING ROW! Because her friend likes it there of course! Just freaking rude, no consideration for anyone else.
So I finally get her down and into the seat, hand her more tissue and start the show. Only 10 minutes late which is good considering most of her incidents start 20 minutes late.
All is well I count everything, all adds up I'm happy. Show gets out everyone is happy I am happy.....then stage management comes on the headsets asking for a manager to come into the theater and check on this woman. One of my ushers comes running out and is all freaked out by this woman who appears to be dying. I think to myself "HELL NO! If she's going to pick today to die! I'm bringing Sandra (boss lady) with me!" So I do. She's not dying.....just coughing and spitting everywhere.
They insist that they don't want the rest of their seats for the season changed they just enjoy causing trouble in the theater. And then PL insists on stopping to eat some chocolate to help her cough....that's not how it works crazy!
Takes about 20 minutes to get her out of the theater alone, and we're doing a sweep when the girl I've been mentoring comes up and tells me that there's a pile of wet napkins where she was sitting and a really wet cloth......NOOOOOO! GROSS!!! But there's literally no one else I can get to do it!
So I had to go into concession, grab some gloves and a plastic bag and go clean up this drool mess!
I. WANTED. TO. BARF! it was just awful, thank god it didn't smell or anything but like SERIOUSLY! That's not acceptable! Stay home! You shouldn't be driving anyways!
Then I came home and cried because I had no milk (Alfred drank it all) and I was scarred for life by the feeling of wet, squishy dish cloths.
Then of course tonight, Clark Kent once again failed to become Superman and decided to just not show up. SIGH! Unimpressed! Along with discovering other problems where Antonio messed up! And then I ended up with 5 dollars over the amount we should have had. But I'm pretty sure we'll find it tomorrow. I really shouldn't have put Mr. Kent's replacement in the concession, she's just not all there in the head.
Oh well.
I'm super tired and Alfred brought me more milk so I'm just going to have hot chocolate, a message and watch Shrek. Then to bed I go!
Love you followers
Night.
Friday, 12 October 2012
Clark Kent is Super...RUDE!
Alright peeps so I've got a story for you about the rudeness in the youth of today. (And I think the fact that I'm takin the time to type it out on my iPod at Alfred's house just furthers the obviousness of how importance this all is. Also if you have an issue with my spelling mistakes take them else where. )
HERE WE GO!
So I'm once again working the alumni show at the Phoenix (working isn't really the correct term as its really for a class) but anyways I am front of house which means I deal with the theatre lobby and the patrons. It's a pretty goo and short show so it was really all easy no worries UNTIL THIS GIANT BAG OF SUCK WAS PLACED ON MY USHER SQUAD!
I have met this kid twice before, never had a problem, seemed decent but as my usher he is a jerk!
So one of the teachers calls him Clark Kent because he kinda looks like him( for those of you going what the heck. That's Superman's normal human name) but this kid does not deserve to be allied with he greatness that is Superman!
So we do an usher tour and on the tour around all the rules are laid it and we tell them what they're supposed to wear(black bottoms). And this kid in the tour asks why if we don't have black bottoms and I'm like "get a pair for 5 dollars at value village" he's like I'm poor. I laugh "I am 3 times more poor than you and I can buy a 5 dollar skirt you can buy pants." To be fair I also gave him the option of going to the costume people and begging for pants (pretty nice of me since wardrobe people hate ushers)
TUESDAY NIGHT: 1st preview show
This little rat shows up in grey dress pants and I'm just staring NO! GAPING at him like what the heck! And he has the audacity to say "you said dress pants"
BLACK! BLACK DRESS PANTS! So I send him to costume to get this fixed only to find out there is no wardrobe for this show.
Now this all really could have been avoided if the child, knowing he didn't have black pants, had just signed up for parking shifts where you can wear whatever you want! But no he signed up for all programs which is the shortest shift but is also the one where grey pants are most obvious! So we put him behind juice bar switch some people up.
I wish that had been the end but OH NO! So i set up with my dear friend, I once called her her real name I'm going to call her Pricilla here from now on though she might kill me. So I introduces them cause she works in costume shop so that he could get him some pants. We set it all up everything was good and he's like oh by the way I dot have that class I said I have tomorrow and Priscilla's like whatever just make sure you show up.....does he?
OF COURSE NOT!
So Wednesday:2nd preview night.
I forgot my phone at home when I went over to my fellow manager's house to prepare for the reception on Thursday.( we will call my partner Antonio, I was going to call him Steve but I knew he would take offence as we now have hundreds of jokes about this imagined guy named Steve)
So Antonio and I arrive at the theatre to set things up and get ready but Pricilla is there all like "hey gurl hey why no answer your phone when I text?" And hen she proceeds to explain to me about mr Kent who was too freaking good to show up at costume stock that morning at the allotted time and that the costume people are in an uproar over the whole thing and to send him over when he shows up in grey pants and I say "ok"
Kid shows up 5 minutes before his shift in BLACK PANTS! And I know he didn't get them from costume so I am just freaking livid! I'm all "where did ou get those?!"
He's "they're my suit pants"
I'm "why didn't you wear those yesterday?"
he says "because they're blue".
Honestly readers I could not tell these pants were blue. I would have to hold a flash light up to the fabric at the right angle or pull the threads out to tell that these freaking pants were blue! Try looked black! In the dim lobby lights they looked like black freaking pants! AND WHY when you have such dark blue pants would you wear GREY ONES!
So I'm just ready to lose it. But I don't guys and I think if you know me I deserve a round of applause for that one. I'll wait....*wild admiring applause*
So I say to this kid "why didn't you show up at costume?"
His completely unacceptable response:"I was sleeping!"
NO! So I start telling him why what he did was wrong and why he has to respect the costume hours and he just turns away and says "whatever stop giving me 'tude" and walks away....
I wanted to murder him, throw things, scream but I did not! I turned to Antonio and tell him to deal with this child I can not be near him. Anty's a pretty chill laid back guy and he's all no problem all over it! And this rude child totally respects him, does what he's told no problem! But is a total jerk to me! I don't even know!
So 8pm the show is supposed to start. We've got people buying last minute tickets and I'm suppose to cue the marketing kid for his speech. I'm making sure with the Parking ushers that no one is coming AND SUPERMAN HAS DECIDED IT'S TIME TO GO!
I lose it ( not in a violent way though more in a simmering volcanic explosion way). This kid is takin off his usher uniform in the lobby, patrons are still in the lobby! I go over and I'm like "what do you think you're doing?l
"It's 8pm I'm off shift"
So I lay it out for him. The fact that he's a first year, this is a mandatory thing he has to do to pass and while he's an usher he is under our command until we let him off for the night.
AND THIS BAG OF FLAMING FIERY DOUCH SAYS! "I have priorities outside of the Phoenix" he is not even looking at me he is being so rude, rolling his eyes.
I wil admit, my hand twitched. I wanted to beat him down so hard but I did not instead I turned
"ANTONIO!"
"Yes?"
"Deal with this kid!"
I go off to seat patrons and take care of getting he house closed leaving Antonio with jerk face
He takes one look t the situation says "put your vest back on"
DONE! Kid does it no complaints!!
We sorted everything else I counted everything Antonio dealt with the ushers and all was well...
Of course this kid couldn't leave without a snarky comment of how opinionated I am which yeah in real life I freaking am! But with him I'm just doing my job!
We also found out later that those outside priorities were frat related(yeah uvic has like one super lame frat) and I hope he was late and I hope they beat him up or punished him for it.
So, that's what I've been dealing with this week as well as super little sleek and a shit ton of baking for the reception last night that went really well.
Reasons for this child's douchiness as contributed by my fellow students include him being:
Racist
Sexist
Has mommy issues
Is a spoiled brat who was never spanked
Is just a boy (child please, this kid is 19)
He's of age in Canada so he has all the power now.
They go on but I think the top 4 are the most likely reasons.
Sigh whatever I don't have to see him for a week! And if he's still an ass then I'm probably just going to send him home with negative hours!
It should also be noted that all the other ushers are so nice and loving and do whatever I say that I have no problems with them.
Hooray!
Ttys bloggers
HERE WE GO!
So I'm once again working the alumni show at the Phoenix (working isn't really the correct term as its really for a class) but anyways I am front of house which means I deal with the theatre lobby and the patrons. It's a pretty goo and short show so it was really all easy no worries UNTIL THIS GIANT BAG OF SUCK WAS PLACED ON MY USHER SQUAD!
I have met this kid twice before, never had a problem, seemed decent but as my usher he is a jerk!
So one of the teachers calls him Clark Kent because he kinda looks like him( for those of you going what the heck. That's Superman's normal human name) but this kid does not deserve to be allied with he greatness that is Superman!
So we do an usher tour and on the tour around all the rules are laid it and we tell them what they're supposed to wear(black bottoms). And this kid in the tour asks why if we don't have black bottoms and I'm like "get a pair for 5 dollars at value village" he's like I'm poor. I laugh "I am 3 times more poor than you and I can buy a 5 dollar skirt you can buy pants." To be fair I also gave him the option of going to the costume people and begging for pants (pretty nice of me since wardrobe people hate ushers)
TUESDAY NIGHT: 1st preview show
This little rat shows up in grey dress pants and I'm just staring NO! GAPING at him like what the heck! And he has the audacity to say "you said dress pants"
BLACK! BLACK DRESS PANTS! So I send him to costume to get this fixed only to find out there is no wardrobe for this show.
Now this all really could have been avoided if the child, knowing he didn't have black pants, had just signed up for parking shifts where you can wear whatever you want! But no he signed up for all programs which is the shortest shift but is also the one where grey pants are most obvious! So we put him behind juice bar switch some people up.
I wish that had been the end but OH NO! So i set up with my dear friend, I once called her her real name I'm going to call her Pricilla here from now on though she might kill me. So I introduces them cause she works in costume shop so that he could get him some pants. We set it all up everything was good and he's like oh by the way I dot have that class I said I have tomorrow and Priscilla's like whatever just make sure you show up.....does he?
OF COURSE NOT!
So Wednesday:2nd preview night.
I forgot my phone at home when I went over to my fellow manager's house to prepare for the reception on Thursday.( we will call my partner Antonio, I was going to call him Steve but I knew he would take offence as we now have hundreds of jokes about this imagined guy named Steve)
So Antonio and I arrive at the theatre to set things up and get ready but Pricilla is there all like "hey gurl hey why no answer your phone when I text?" And hen she proceeds to explain to me about mr Kent who was too freaking good to show up at costume stock that morning at the allotted time and that the costume people are in an uproar over the whole thing and to send him over when he shows up in grey pants and I say "ok"
Kid shows up 5 minutes before his shift in BLACK PANTS! And I know he didn't get them from costume so I am just freaking livid! I'm all "where did ou get those?!"
He's "they're my suit pants"
I'm "why didn't you wear those yesterday?"
he says "because they're blue".
Honestly readers I could not tell these pants were blue. I would have to hold a flash light up to the fabric at the right angle or pull the threads out to tell that these freaking pants were blue! Try looked black! In the dim lobby lights they looked like black freaking pants! AND WHY when you have such dark blue pants would you wear GREY ONES!
So I'm just ready to lose it. But I don't guys and I think if you know me I deserve a round of applause for that one. I'll wait....*wild admiring applause*
So I say to this kid "why didn't you show up at costume?"
His completely unacceptable response:"I was sleeping!"
NO! So I start telling him why what he did was wrong and why he has to respect the costume hours and he just turns away and says "whatever stop giving me 'tude" and walks away....
I wanted to murder him, throw things, scream but I did not! I turned to Antonio and tell him to deal with this child I can not be near him. Anty's a pretty chill laid back guy and he's all no problem all over it! And this rude child totally respects him, does what he's told no problem! But is a total jerk to me! I don't even know!
So 8pm the show is supposed to start. We've got people buying last minute tickets and I'm suppose to cue the marketing kid for his speech. I'm making sure with the Parking ushers that no one is coming AND SUPERMAN HAS DECIDED IT'S TIME TO GO!
I lose it ( not in a violent way though more in a simmering volcanic explosion way). This kid is takin off his usher uniform in the lobby, patrons are still in the lobby! I go over and I'm like "what do you think you're doing?l
"It's 8pm I'm off shift"
So I lay it out for him. The fact that he's a first year, this is a mandatory thing he has to do to pass and while he's an usher he is under our command until we let him off for the night.
AND THIS BAG OF FLAMING FIERY DOUCH SAYS! "I have priorities outside of the Phoenix" he is not even looking at me he is being so rude, rolling his eyes.
I wil admit, my hand twitched. I wanted to beat him down so hard but I did not instead I turned
"ANTONIO!"
"Yes?"
"Deal with this kid!"
I go off to seat patrons and take care of getting he house closed leaving Antonio with jerk face
He takes one look t the situation says "put your vest back on"
DONE! Kid does it no complaints!!
We sorted everything else I counted everything Antonio dealt with the ushers and all was well...
Of course this kid couldn't leave without a snarky comment of how opinionated I am which yeah in real life I freaking am! But with him I'm just doing my job!
We also found out later that those outside priorities were frat related(yeah uvic has like one super lame frat) and I hope he was late and I hope they beat him up or punished him for it.
So, that's what I've been dealing with this week as well as super little sleek and a shit ton of baking for the reception last night that went really well.
Reasons for this child's douchiness as contributed by my fellow students include him being:
Racist
Sexist
Has mommy issues
Is a spoiled brat who was never spanked
Is just a boy (child please, this kid is 19)
He's of age in Canada so he has all the power now.
They go on but I think the top 4 are the most likely reasons.
Sigh whatever I don't have to see him for a week! And if he's still an ass then I'm probably just going to send him home with negative hours!
It should also be noted that all the other ushers are so nice and loving and do whatever I say that I have no problems with them.
Hooray!
Ttys bloggers
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