Too Black for My White Family

Wellllllll
Christmas happened.
Usually one of my most dreaded times of the year next to the birthdays of other family members. I'm not sure if it's because I'm the second youngest grandchild, my sister being the youngest or if my father's dislike of people is so embedded in me that I also hate people gatherings...probably a combo.
So every year about 6 times a year I have to go and sit and endure the old people questionings of if I like school have I seen my extended family in Victoria (of course not) what I plan on doing when I graduate blah blah blah blah I don't care. And no one really cares about the answer so I don't know why they insist on bothering me so.
BUT THIS YEAR! Yes I was most clever!
My parents went to a friends open house before family dinner and I was like I could go....but I would rather not be miserable for 10 hours, 6 hours is enough for me thanks. Which meant I had to bring the classic buns  to be baked mother said show up around 5:30...cause dinner is supposed to start around 6 and they take about 15 minutes to bake....dinner never starts on time.
So I showed up at 5. Extra early and....volunteered in the kitchen!
PURE GENIUS!! The kitchen is a safe place as long as you're working in it because my uncle just shoos the people who shouldn't be in there out which means they can't talk to me! Can't bombard me with inane questions! Can't demand why I'm single with no intention of getting married! AHAHAHA I was brilliant, brilliant BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!
And of course I was right when I said dinner wouldn't start til 7:30, it was like 6 and my uncles like no no, hold off on the potatoes there aren't enough people here yet.
But see the problem is everyone expects dinner to start late so they just show up right before 7 expecting to be fed and not having to wait. And then the old people just descend! They see the food and they go for it even though it's not all out yet. Sigh old people but whatever. If their mouths are full they still can't talk to me.
Ugh! but then I found out that I don't get to go to my cousins wedding in the summer! I am sooooo upset! I've been waiting for these weddings, multiple cousins have decided it's time to start those things called families...ridiculous but whatever it's not my life and they're all late 20s early 30s so I guess they should get on that if they don't want to die alone....like I will be!
Pft, quelle domage. Whatever will I do keeping all my money...or all my poverty to myself and not have to deal with someone stealing my blankets and nagging me about kids.
I think I'll live.
but anyways so my cousin and his getting married. Perfectly fine because he's awesome and his fiance is pretty awesome too but as we were talking, I honestly don't know what I said because it's just so second nature now that  my cousin was like "wow you just went full black there"
And it's just another reminder of how much I've changed since going to UVic.
I was so white when I went to school but uvic is almost a completely white campus and white people have expectations. I have become so ridiculously sassy at school because that's what people want, no complaints I quite like it.
Also it gives me a cover to be rude because they really can't tell the difference.
Everyone's all Cecilly is so sassy, hence nickname Sassily but really I'm just rude or I hate you but think what you want. I find it hilarious.
But alas here we are on the last day of 2012.
And though I had wished for the world to end on the 21st I guess I will be forced to live another year. (21 this year, fun fun.)
We'll see how I fair because right now the world isn't looking good.
If the rumors are true....2013 will bring the birth of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's child=DEMON SPAWN
So maybe the Mayans were a year off?
Nah probably not but it did serve for some excellent tumblring while it lasted.
I took Ernesta and Anita to the states yesterday for shopping. It was the bomb! not literally there were no bombs...But we got a ton of Vanilla Coke.
Went to a real 5 Guys Burgers and Fries.
Bought a ton of clothes....it was a good day.
Ernesta is an english major and rarely goes to the states so she was just freaking out over all the things it was so cute.
I'm going to miss my Vancouver friends when I go back to school in a couple of days but I gotta go back to school and I miss my island friends too. Plus there are quite a few things that have gone down since I left and it's catch up time...watch out UVic I'm coming for you!

Basically all I can ask of 2013 is that it not snow so much, better music with less dubstep, give Taylor Swift at least 3 more boyfriends by next year so she can continue to make terrible yet catchy music, Money would be nice but I've never received it when I've wished for it so I'll just keep the day dreams where they are.
Either way I've got some good ideas for 2013. We'll see if they happen.
And if you keep reading this into the New Years, you'll be privy to if they happen.

The World Didn't End and So This is Christmas

SIGH WORLD!!!!
As you may have noticed the world did NOT end on the 21st though I wished on all the shooting stars and 11:11s that came my way. This I find most distressing.
But why Cecilly would you want the world to end? It's such a happy place full of loved ones and pretty things?
....meh
You know, I like my friends (Some of them more than others) but if the world ended I think we could all get over it. Or maybe hang out in the after life whatever that may be. Or our bodies could rot together if you're into that kind of thing but by the 21st I had basically seen them all. I think the only person that really matters whom I still haven't seen is Gnomes but I'm sure there's internet in Heaven. She could have sent me an e-card or something.
And had the world ended on the 21st I would have been very intoxicated with a group of people who I find mostly tolerable though I constantly question why we still meet every break. Do you have those friends?
Maybe I just really don't like people, it wouldn't be the first time I've thought this. But let's think of some of the great things that would have happened had the world ended.
Good Things:

1. All of you with student loans wouldn't have to pay them back.
2. You'd never have to go to work or school or job hunting ever again!
3. Kristen Stewart would also be dead!
4. 50 Shades of Grey would never be made into a movie!!!
5. If you had delayed Christmas shopping you wouldn't have to go buy people things!!!!

On that last one, Christmas is tomorrow or if you're in BC in an hour and 15 minutes. That's too close.

If you haven't gone shopping yet I've got news my friend, you're screwed! Unless you're not giving out presents until the new year...then you've got time. 

But ugh! Christmas! Ernesta and I were talking about why we can't stand the thing anymore and we're not sure if it's family, gift giving or the general bitterness of growing up.

If you're under 18 and reading this, yes growing up sucks! Hold on to that youthfulness, sneaking out, under age drinking in parks on playgrounds and stuff! Those are the good times! And if you're looking forward to clubbing stop! It's just a bunch of sweaty people grinding on each other totally plastered. But if you find or know of a club that is just straight up dancing let me know, I wanna go.

But anyways back to Christmas. So we're bitter.

Bitter that we can't afford anything worth wild to give our families or friends with jobs. Annoyed that we have to see that side of the family we've been avoiding for months (Most of my family this year has either gotten engaged, pregnant or very recently dumped....ring the gongs the shows about to start). 

All in all this leads to the general student attitude of hating Christmas and commercialized holidays and materialism but there is literally nothing you can do. 

And so this is Christmas. 

• Escaping with Ernesta and Sharona to do as many fun things as possible, like the Stanley Park Christmas train today. We went with all the children and oohed and aahed and laughed. 
• Reading fanfiction when at home and again failing to explain to my father the concept.
• Failing to write anything because my brain clearly only wants to be creative when driving or moving around which isn't good for writing things out by hand.
• And not having knitting needles to start knitting things with all the yarn I bought....

Allllllllll the cheer.

I wonder how long these scroogey feelings will last...Either way I'm ready to get out of Maple Ridge and back to my safe island of Victoria. I'm sure Gumpette and Aurora will have plenty of wonderful stories to tell me that will lighten my mood.

To those of you who do still love this holiday I wish you the best of luck.

To those in the boat with me, put a little rum in that egg nog I promise it helps.

A Drunk Nightmare on 5th Street

QUICK! In the tiny lull between my exams I will tell you a story!!!

Alright so the other night was my friends 20th birthday. And unlike when I turned 20 and cried in bed over my loss of adolescence my friend, she has not yet been mentioned so I will call her Eva because she is a huge WW2 fan and I'm just going to hope she doesn't find that offensive, was quite ecstatic to be turning 20. So we all moseyed on over to her place. Aurora and Gumpette were there. Eva's history major friends were all there. We watched her be initiated into Dutch Blitz (a fantastic card game which to my sadness we did not play). And played several rounds of Cards Against Humanity which is basically a better version of Apples to Apples.
So a little drunk I walked to the last bus that would take me downtown to the last bus that would get me home. It is very cold now in Victoria and I have yet to figure out how to properly dress for these weather temperatures but I will suffer through.
So there I was waiting Downtown for the next bus to come that would take me home and I'm sitting slightly drunk on a bench. I couldn't sing obnoxiously as I wanted to because there were these two guys standing close to my bench.
Across the street is this restaurant called The 5th Street Bar and Grill (which Aurora and I just went to tonight because it is delicious) but last year the restaurant had had a fire and was closed for many months which was really sad. It's almost midnight so last calls are going around I guess and these 2 guys come out of the restaurant to smoke...but I never saw them go back in...probably because I was drunk and thinking about more important things than how gross and stupid smoking is.
Next I look over and I see this flame near the side of the building...rather small at first and I'm watching it and it's getting bigger and I'm like OMG WHAT!
I look at the other 2 guys waiting for the bus and they're talking and don't notice this flame and I'm like...maybe I've been drugged? Maybe the flame isn't there...but it's getting bigger!
So I stand up to investigate.
I start towards the street watching this massive flame and I have no idea what it's coming out of but the guys also don't seem to take note that I've taken an interest in it...Another example of how little faith I have in humans? I think so.
So I start to cross the street to check this thing out and make sure the buildings not on fire...but then I see this body.
And I can't honestly tell you if it was a body or not but it definitely resembled a beige trench coat with a body in it and it was hanging just behind the flames.
I am stopped in the middle of the road staring at this body and this flame....and then I decide that curiosity killed the cat!
The flame was large but it didn't appear to be catching onto the building so I went back to my bench and waited for the bus...
The 2 guys continued to talk as if nothing had happened...they probably thought I was some homeless girl on drugs or something but I was not that drunk and I know I wasn't drugged....so my eyes must have been playing with my mind...and that is what I will continue to believe!
So there you go.
That's kind of what I've been up to. There's more of course that I've been doing other than tests and studying but I have to edit my stage play and my friends are posting depressing songs on tumblr that are apparently good for me? I have strange friends.
Peace out!

POOPY LADY 2012!

Alright kiddies,
I will now impart upon you the struggles of being a front of house manager. I hope you're comfortable.

Let's start with yesterday when I survived 'Poopy Lady', the nickname of possibly the most troublesome Phoenix patron....I suppose I have to tell you how she got the nickname....

WELL!! A long very long time ago she came to see a show. Now she is a very old woman, should not be driving but she does and I have yet to hear any reports of her killing people. This lady has really really really bad arthritis. Her hands barely moved and her fingers are all curled inwards so she can't really pick anything up. So one day all those years ago she arrived late to a show (She is always late even though the shows have always started at 8) and she insisted that she must go to the bathroom.
From there we are a little lost as to the events but we assume that she did not actually sit down on the toilet but sort of squatted and went to the bathroom....but she missed and there was poop all over the floor. Naturally a terribly embarrassing incident but she tried to remedy it but picking it off the floor....only to kind of smear it around the stall instead because her hands don't work properly.
All speculation mind you we have no idea what truly happened other than a stall covered in poop was discovered shortly later.
So we seated this woman and started the show but all these people kept coming out and complaining about the smell in the theater. Turns out there was poop all down her pants and she wreaked. she got it all over the theater seat as well and they had to like steam dry clean it or something I don't really know of the story behind the seat.
Thus giving her the name, Poopy Lady. Remember this did not happen to me thank goodness!

However last night, it is 8 pm and the stage manager is just doing her last minute call when i see this very slow moving mass coming towards me from the parking lot....I JUST NOW IT IS HER! and as they got closer IT WAS! I had this second year shadowing me, she was kind of excited...that changed fast.
So they're already late, then she can't find her ticket because her hands don't work and she's kind of just scooping things out of her purse. And then her friend, who's not a very good friend just abandons her and runs off to sit down! This woman moves at about snail speed, that is not exaggerating that is fact!
I've got my ushers helping her into the theater and she's hacking! (well like quiet hacking but a soft equivalent of death) and she's spitting up into these napkins! We just make it to the theater door and she's like "I need more napkins!" and i'm like oh god! So I send my usher to get more paper towel from the bathroom and I begin helping her down the steps to her seat. WHY IS THIS WOMAN IN THE FRONT FREAKING ROW! Because her friend likes it there of course! Just freaking rude, no consideration for anyone else.
So I finally get her down and into the seat, hand her more tissue and start the show. Only 10 minutes late which is good considering most of her incidents start 20 minutes late.
All is well I count everything, all adds up I'm happy. Show gets out everyone is happy I am happy.....then stage management comes on the headsets asking for a manager to come into the theater and check on this woman. One of my ushers comes running out and is all freaked out by this woman who appears to be dying. I think to myself "HELL NO! If she's going to pick today to die! I'm bringing Sandra (boss lady) with me!" So I do. She's not dying.....just coughing and spitting everywhere.
They insist that they don't want the rest of their seats for the season changed they just enjoy causing trouble in the theater. And then PL insists on stopping to eat some chocolate to help her cough....that's not how it works crazy!
Takes about 20 minutes to get her out of the theater alone, and we're doing a sweep when the girl I've been mentoring comes up and tells me that there's a pile of wet napkins where she was sitting and a really wet cloth......NOOOOOO! GROSS!!! But there's literally no one else I can get to do it!
So I had to go into concession, grab some gloves and a plastic bag and go clean up this drool mess!
I. WANTED. TO. BARF! it was just awful, thank god it didn't smell or anything but like SERIOUSLY! That's not acceptable! Stay home! You shouldn't be driving anyways!
Then I came home and cried because I had no milk (Alfred drank it all) and I was scarred for life by the feeling of wet, squishy dish cloths.

Then of course tonight, Clark Kent once again failed to become Superman and decided to just not show up. SIGH! Unimpressed! Along with discovering other problems where Antonio messed up! And then I ended up with 5 dollars over the amount we should have had. But I'm pretty sure we'll find it tomorrow. I really shouldn't have put Mr. Kent's replacement in the concession, she's just not all there in the head.
Oh well.

I'm super tired and Alfred brought me more milk so I'm just going to have hot chocolate, a message and watch Shrek. Then to bed I go!
Love you followers
Night.