2 Giant Gnomes And A Traffic Cone In the Middle of the Freeway

Ok so I can post about it now since we're all figured out.
Yes, once again the Cadillac has taken a beating under my supervision.
P.Bob, Ernesta, Anita and I had gone to Vandusen Gardens because they made it all pretty with lights and stuff!
We had a grand time! Everything was pretty, it was a little cold but there were gnomes! giant gnomes from Scandinavia (via vancouver obvs) and they sang and danced and played guitar and it was awesome! And I fell in love obviously because what else could I want in my life than to be a gnomes wife and live in a tree stump and we could eat worms and stuff and it'd be really messed up but whatever.
If it were real it'd be great and you'd be jealous.

SOOOOO!
We were headed home, driving down the freeway like the super fly ladies we are. And I was crossing over to the lanes because I like the HOV lane but it was blocked off by all these traffic barrels and traffic cones and I was like oh darn I don't want this when I saw it!
A traffic cone lying in the middle of the driving lane.
It's one of those terrifying moments you know. Where all the scenarios of what you could do flash through your mind and you can't do any of them.
I look to my right. A car, can't hit that.
To my left. Traffic barrels, will definitely hurt the car more than the one coming at me.
Can I stop? No there's a car behind me they'll definitely hit me from behind.
There was no other choice.
So I ran over it.

Now the cadillac is a very low to the ground vehicle like there's just enough room for my foot to fit under it in the front. Why you would make a vehicle so low is beyond me it's probably to be aesthetically pleasing or something ridiculous
So we hit the cone and everyone's like omg! is it gone!? did it fly out from under us? no.
We're are dragging this cone with us...so we pull over and Anita being the great one and the most level headed of all of us gets it out from under the front of the car and we're standing there like the hell do we do now...and some workers slowly go driving by. But do they stop?
No. 2 helpless girls looking at this mangled cone going ermeygerd help and they don't stop...rude.
So there's a little damage, the bottom of the car is cracked where the solid end of the cone went under obviously.
It couldn't just be like one of those train grill things that push cows off the tracks. nooooo.
And this grating part that goes across the front of the car (also probably for looks) fell off when I got home....and we lost the front license plate which I think my mother was the most upset about.
But somehow we got home and I had to tell my parents because naturally we'd have to ring it in with ICBC or something. And I'm fully expecting my father to be upset about his baby...but he kind of just laughed...
"Cars are made to be broken"
...well no they're not. They're made to be driven and now and then get a little dirty but not to be broken...
Mother on the other hand, hysteria.
I think I've figured it out though. It's because dad is retired and none of the vehicles are in his name and he doesn't really pay for anything because all he has is his pension so everything is in mom's name. though only like maybe 1 in 3 of the car accidents that have happened have been her fault.
The sister totaled her car. A girl broke the bumper when I was parked at work. Dad destroys everything. The most mom gets are speeding tickets....but there was that time she backed into a light post in an empty parking lot, dented the truck and had to get the light post put back up.
But for the most part not her fault.
Anyways, it's all going to be fine. The car's going to get fixed. No one's died or injured.
And I'm still going to Oregon next week!
So a Merry Christmas is still up for grabs!
ttyl

And So It Begins....Again...

Well more deserving things have happened in the last 24 hours to be posted about but I'm going to write about this because it's fresh in my mind and annoying as hell all over again.
We'll find out the out come of other things soon and we'll go from there...
But tonight...
The first family get together of the Christmas Season....
My aunt's birthday which is apparently a tradition to order a ridiculous amount of chinese food and talk about 100 different subjects in 3 different groups at the same time...
It's noisy, it's weird, everyone feels bloated and grandma never listens when she's told not to order dinner for 30 people as we only get 15 out on a good day!
my grandparents had 5 children, 4 have spouses, all together they have 11 grandchildren, 2 are married, 4 maybe 5 (I never know about one of my cousins I don't even know where he is most of the time) have significant others, 1 great-grand child...a baby that can't eat chinese food.
WERE we to add all these people up not including the baby (you don't count until you make it to a year old) that would be a possible 28 or 29 (depending on the variable cousin) people to feed....almost 30 but that many people NEVER comes!
my one uncle and aunt live in Kamloops they're not coming down for every birth, birthday and funeral. We don't know where their son is most of the time. Their daughter makes it to about every other event...I guess this was an other.
My one cousin just got married over the summer and apparently that gives him an excused card from everything!
My sister can't be bothered to come to anything and she claims to be a vegetarian so she can't eat chinese food...though we all know she does when we're not looking...
My father doesn't come unless it's a big event or it's someone he actually likes being celebrated
And I usually have the safe excuse of being in Victoria.....oh but not today....
Today, and I think we can guess where this is going as per usual with family gatherings and what not what my posts generally end up being about....one of those cousins with a significant other took a place in the rarely used category of ENGAGED COUSINS!

Nooooo don't cheer shhh shh stop that clapping it's not good!

Now this cousin....he's  very strange... probably the strangest of the bunch and they're all a little bit weird
(maybe I should mention that this is all the white side of my family. I expect weird and unsettling from the blackside...they're all Caribbean and there's about 1000 of them.
No this cousin is strange...and the girl he's somehow persuaded to marry him seems to be completely normal. Insanely rich! but other than that....normal...
Why is she marrying my weird cousin you ask?
Lord I don't know. She must not be as normal as I think....or what is more likely she's surrounded by the mantra...

Yes she's falling for it! she's sad and lonely and she's settling which is crazy I mean she's rich and has a beautiful house and a hilarious 90 something year old grandmother whom for some reason everyone feels the need to yell at when they're communicating but the woman held a conversation with me across the living room and neither of us were shouting!
She's got hearing aids let her be!

Anyways so the announcement was made and of course all the old people cheered and clapped and bustled around to get champagne glasses and sparkling juice (because my family's classy like that...no one's ever been too drunk to function at a function) All the married people made jokes and started planning the dresses and flowers and ridiculous stuff.

But if you watched closely. You could see the shifty, who's next eyes.
The cousin just recently separated avoided everyone,
The two destined spinsters prepared to live vicariously through the fiances
The only not wed couple looked anywhere but at each other and settled for washing dishes and passing juice.
One aunt asked where IS your sister and her boyfriend, he's always so nice to have at these events?
"She's at work I think"
"Oh that's too bad. Well what about you? Have you found a boy in Victoria yet?"

TARGET HIT!

Yes, once again, I become the distraction from all the more likely bachelors and bachelorettes in the room. I mean they're not even that old yet! they have plenty of time to settle down! but my sister and I are the last strands of the generation, tie us up and off with someone and we can move onto worrying about the new generation and things like baby clothes and knitted booties and none sense!

I'm sitting here trying not to explode from the incredible amounts of chinese food I've just ingested. I don't need heart burn for my failures in the eyes of tradition as well!
Hell if it's such a problem just set me up in a marriage that I don't have to actually be available for. We can reconvene at family events!
How about that!!

....my life...why doesn't it make sense...
I willl now crawl into bed, fight with my sheets for a while because they're really a nuisance...and hope the snow falling outside doesn't stick...
goodnight.

Don't Grab and Pack

Oh hey,
So I'm back in the Ridge
It's thoroughly uninspiring as to be expected but I think this trip home might perhaps have given me some wisdom in the packing sector.
I packed in about all of yesterday.
The thought process being I would take all my laundry because I had about a week and a halfs worth  (my landlady's family is visiting and I didn't want to disturb them...or really have to talk to them as they're so friendly and I'm so dismal)
So I would bring all that and then just kind of pull willynilly things that I saw and thought mhm yes I'd wear that....
But I didn't really think about how long I would be in ridge.
I had the mindset of about a week when in actuality I could be here for 3 weeks....so I packed the amount that I would generally pack for a week which is a lot
And I thought I had packed all the manditory family gathering dresses....I did not. I remember I did not because I couldn't choose which ones I wanted and how fancy I would be expected to dress so I just left it.
Filled my bag with all the notes from piano and music theory I intend to burn...a lot of hair bows and earrings (most of which don't match what I brought home to wear) a scarf in all the essential colours...except for red...I have no idea where that scarf is unless it's hidden by another scarf back in Victoria...
So reasons not to pack the way I did.
1- My laundry was made up of mostly socks and underwear. There was one dress I refer to as my teacher dress because it has squiggles and stuff all over it that one would associate with a kindergarten teacher. 2 pairs of pajamas (one of which I'm probably not going to wear because they're so warm. And all the clothes I've been wearing while spray painting this past week. So like work yoga pants and shirts I don't care about, stuff I might wear to the gym....I will not be going to the gym while home much to my father's annoyance I'm sure.
2-I didn't pay attention to the colours I was packing....I have 5 burgundy/dark red shirts, tanktop and a blazer, 2 black and white shirts, 2 blue shirts and a cardigan, a green hoodie and a grey cardigan....not much selection there...not much acceptable mix and matching but let's be honest. I'm not trying to impress anyone in this town so I'll probs just dress like Christmas everyday.
3-All the underwear I own and only one bra....I don' tknow how that happened...definitely thought I had packed a black bra I mean it's essential right? Well I didn't. Just the red bra I put on this morning, the only one I brought. but I have probably 80% of my underwear drawer packed .
4-A bag full of socks...yeah I've probably got 95% of my sock drawer with me...I didn't realize it had been that long since I washed my socks and then I brought more! The only thing left behind are like sports socks, toe socks and dance tights....I don't wear those anyways.


....So yeah.
That's my dilemma at the moment.
I'm kind of hoping my parents will decide to go away for a few days which means I won't have to get dressed and look like I'm doing things.
I could go out and buy another bra but I really don't need to...
I brought nothing scandalous with me! not that we party in Ridge...well other people party but I find those people questionable and avoid them if possible...in the event someone were to want to go dancing or something that 'cool' people do...I guess I would have to go shopping (I know so tragic)
It's Christmas I'm supposed to spend on others and all I want is to spend on me!!!

Yes I feel like Wayne Brady's interpretation of Oprah's Favorite Things (1:40)
And that's that.
I'm sure something will happen in this hellmouth to post about later on........we can only hope

Too Black for My White Family

Wellllllll
Christmas happened.
Usually one of my most dreaded times of the year next to the birthdays of other family members. I'm not sure if it's because I'm the second youngest grandchild, my sister being the youngest or if my father's dislike of people is so embedded in me that I also hate people gatherings...probably a combo.
So every year about 6 times a year I have to go and sit and endure the old people questionings of if I like school have I seen my extended family in Victoria (of course not) what I plan on doing when I graduate blah blah blah blah I don't care. And no one really cares about the answer so I don't know why they insist on bothering me so.
BUT THIS YEAR! Yes I was most clever!
My parents went to a friends open house before family dinner and I was like I could go....but I would rather not be miserable for 10 hours, 6 hours is enough for me thanks. Which meant I had to bring the classic buns  to be baked mother said show up around 5:30...cause dinner is supposed to start around 6 and they take about 15 minutes to bake....dinner never starts on time.
So I showed up at 5. Extra early and....volunteered in the kitchen!
PURE GENIUS!! The kitchen is a safe place as long as you're working in it because my uncle just shoos the people who shouldn't be in there out which means they can't talk to me! Can't bombard me with inane questions! Can't demand why I'm single with no intention of getting married! AHAHAHA I was brilliant, brilliant BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!
And of course I was right when I said dinner wouldn't start til 7:30, it was like 6 and my uncles like no no, hold off on the potatoes there aren't enough people here yet.
But see the problem is everyone expects dinner to start late so they just show up right before 7 expecting to be fed and not having to wait. And then the old people just descend! They see the food and they go for it even though it's not all out yet. Sigh old people but whatever. If their mouths are full they still can't talk to me.
Ugh! but then I found out that I don't get to go to my cousins wedding in the summer! I am sooooo upset! I've been waiting for these weddings, multiple cousins have decided it's time to start those things called families...ridiculous but whatever it's not my life and they're all late 20s early 30s so I guess they should get on that if they don't want to die alone....like I will be!
Pft, quelle domage. Whatever will I do keeping all my money...or all my poverty to myself and not have to deal with someone stealing my blankets and nagging me about kids.
I think I'll live.
but anyways so my cousin and his getting married. Perfectly fine because he's awesome and his fiance is pretty awesome too but as we were talking, I honestly don't know what I said because it's just so second nature now that  my cousin was like "wow you just went full black there"
And it's just another reminder of how much I've changed since going to UVic.
I was so white when I went to school but uvic is almost a completely white campus and white people have expectations. I have become so ridiculously sassy at school because that's what people want, no complaints I quite like it.
Also it gives me a cover to be rude because they really can't tell the difference.
Everyone's all Cecilly is so sassy, hence nickname Sassily but really I'm just rude or I hate you but think what you want. I find it hilarious.
But alas here we are on the last day of 2012.
And though I had wished for the world to end on the 21st I guess I will be forced to live another year. (21 this year, fun fun.)
We'll see how I fair because right now the world isn't looking good.
If the rumors are true....2013 will bring the birth of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's child=DEMON SPAWN
So maybe the Mayans were a year off?
Nah probably not but it did serve for some excellent tumblring while it lasted.
I took Ernesta and Anita to the states yesterday for shopping. It was the bomb! not literally there were no bombs...But we got a ton of Vanilla Coke.
Went to a real 5 Guys Burgers and Fries.
Bought a ton of clothes....it was a good day.
Ernesta is an english major and rarely goes to the states so she was just freaking out over all the things it was so cute.
I'm going to miss my Vancouver friends when I go back to school in a couple of days but I gotta go back to school and I miss my island friends too. Plus there are quite a few things that have gone down since I left and it's catch up time...watch out UVic I'm coming for you!

Basically all I can ask of 2013 is that it not snow so much, better music with less dubstep, give Taylor Swift at least 3 more boyfriends by next year so she can continue to make terrible yet catchy music, Money would be nice but I've never received it when I've wished for it so I'll just keep the day dreams where they are.
Either way I've got some good ideas for 2013. We'll see if they happen.
And if you keep reading this into the New Years, you'll be privy to if they happen.