Jello Shots Shots Shots

Loooooooord,
Aurora my roommate and Earl have decided to throw a Space Jam party in our apartment tomorrow night.
Which is essentially a get together of us and our friend, whom I shall call Antoinette, playing the Space Jam drinking game which I'd like to note Aurora and I have done once before and almost didn't live to speak of.
It wasn't nearly as bad as the Beauty and the Beast drinking game but that's because you have to drink every time they say Gaston as well as every line of Gaston so that song alone you drink everything you own.
But the Space Jam one is pretty intense.
I can't tell you how it started.
Something about Jello was said which I'd like to note I don't like Jello and then they decided we should make Jello shots and drink them while watching Space Jam and that's basically it.
That's the whole plan.
So we just made 60 (probably actually 55) Jello shots in Red Orange and Green (the colors are insignificant)
And then Earl! For whatever reason told us (LIED TO US) that they had to be frozen because of the vodka in them which doens't even make that much sense because vodka doesn't freeze when it's in the freezer.
But apparently neither of us actually know how to make Jello Shots so we went along with it and cleared some space in the freezer which we don't have room for because of all my delicious bacon in there.
And then what do I do?
I look at the instructions because Earl is known for his lies.
And YUP!
HE LIED!
We could have put them all in the fridge, nicely on a tray, where there's plenty of freaking room!!!
So we'll wait.
We'll wait until he's gone to move the shots onto the fridge try with the rest of them....
Right now they're making Fake Bailey's Mousse.
Fake Bailey's because it's not Bailey's  but tastes the same.

Also our sink blew up.
I don't know what to do about these things because where I come from sinks don't blow up.
But Aurora called the building manager and he'll come tomorrow I guess....
All she says is thank goodness it's not the fridge, it's blown up twice
I don't know
I guess I'll have to get dressed in the morning...

~Drink More Stress Less~
Words to live by from Earl

Welcome to Life

So I haven't posted in 3 months, so what.
You know I just reread my last post about the cheese cake, not remembering that event at all after everything that's happened since January and thought.
Damn.
What a good post. and so legit!
Why is it so legit?
Because naturally the cycle picked up right from that moment and I rolled with it.
Naturally a ridiculous amount of things have happened since then and perhaps I'll catch you up on some of it but I might not. I might continue to lie in bed ignoring the mess that keeps building as I try to pack
Which is just not fair I might add! You would think that packing should be a process of cleaning but my floor is covered in the little white dots from a hole puncher that, of course, emptied itself out all over the room.
Also my computer died AGAIN and I'm not fixing it this time so I also don't know the majority of nicknames I've given people meaning I may just need to start again with some but I think you guys are pretty smart. You'll figure it out.
So in reverse order. I cut my right pointer finger and typing with a bandaid is hard.
I'm poor as fuck but I find 6 dollars in change while packing so I'm probably going to buy more cheesecake because I miss it.
I'm moving, it's a lot of work but that will be a whole different post.
I watched Bo Burnham's What AGAIN because it is brilliant and you should all watch it too. Like actually it's the most brilliantly made, well put together thing ever! in my personal opinion.
I got a job interview at a historic site...I don't know if I'm qualified.
I would have stayed in bed til 1 if they hadn't called.
I've been spending oodles of with Pearl and Earl! these I believe are new people to you  if not I'm renaming them because their names need to rhyme and go together perfectly because when they don't the world is wrong!!!!
And then Pearl went back to vancouver for the summer too and now Earl and I are just sad.
(I started watching Bo Burnham agin there cause I needed the link and wasted another 20 minutes of my life)
Priscilla went to film school and to discover her true racism in Vancouver (maybs will have a post on racsim)
Antonio has started his Adonis Project to get into shape and be the finest, badest motherfucka you've ever seen stroll down a street in Victoria.
Gumpette, I believe is what we used to call her, well many things happened but then she went off to tree plant so now she's getting tanned...but also eaten alive by bugs. Jealous of her money not jealous of her struggles.
I graduated but like haven't walked across the stage yet. That's in a month.
I threw a bunch of parties, planned some shit, directed some scenes, got in some fights, burned my wrist being stupid with an oven....and...yeah that's about it. consumed my life for 3 months
BUT I'M BACK! and that's what matters.
Hello internet world.
Welcome to the Summer Break that never ends but gets slightly colder now and then and rains alot because we live on the west coast but never ends because I've finished school and have no reason to ever go back so I'll never experience another summer break unless I join the education system and get the same summer breaks as like teachers meaning from like june to august.....
This!
is what it means to grow up
This!
is what becoming an adult is all about
THIS!
is life after school otherwise known as just

Life

First Year Party 2013

So you might remember last year when I posted this gem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66zRlxxWQxc
WELL IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!!!
The first year party is TONIGHT!!
Yes, the plan is to make another video while getting unabashedly wasted....unfortunately I have rehearsal til 6, the party starts at 9...
That gives about 2 hours to make and post a video!
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!
Priscilla, Aurora and Yvette (2nd year friend) will be recording the song and then we shall film compile and conquer in record tim!!
I'm so excited yall you have no idea!!
But first....
to my 8 hour rehearsal...

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To.

Soooo yeah,
It was my birthday today.
Normally for my birthday, or at least last year, I lie in bed and cry about making it 2 decades, being legal in Canada and having nothing interesting to live for anymore.
I mean first year of university I turned 19. I got up in the morning and started drinking legally. Went to the liquor store at 11 am when it opened and bought alcohol legally. Ate German food (which isn't illegal but it was damn good!)
...then last year I turned 20. It was miserable. Nothing to live for. 2 decades alive on earth and I haven't accomplished anything of worth. I go to theater school, will I even have a career when I graduate. Freaking depressing man! And my birthday was on the Sunday before reading break so there was absolutely no reason for me to leave my pit of despair (aka bed) except for rehearsal which I went to and then came back home and cried some more.
I figured I would do very much the same thing this year but...I guess things have changed. 21 wasn't terrible. And yeah everyone's like GO TO AMERICA AND DRINK AND BUY CHEAP ALCOHOL! ...but it's like 50$ to take the ferry down to Seattle and back. what a waste just for alcohol I can buy here.
Recently however, I've been going to a friend's house for mexican mondays, where we just eat mexican food on a monday, gossip, meet new people and such. My friend went off to Uruguay 2 weeks ago but I've still been going. Now I'm friends with her roommates and she's freaking awesome! Last night there was just 6 of us there so we were drinking wine.
I'm pretty sure I told you about my last wine drinking experience with Walt  and that didn't end well. But we were drinking red wine last night and maybe that made all the difference. I had an excellent night. We voted people off the tropical island we were deserted on. We planned to go camping for reading break (I don't know if it'll actually happen but I would like to do something). I made new friends! It was a great night and I didn't think I was drunk at all!.....until I got home and lied down. Then the world started to spin. And I woke up this morning and I was definitely still drunk.
But Gumpette bought me some caramilk liqeur so I just put a little in my morning coffee and was set to go!

Yes I've just been slightly drunk all day.

But I think where the huge difference from the last two birthdays to 21 was that when I opened my bedroom door this morning there was no one waiting on the other side to pounce me. or throw streamers. or sing!
It was just me. I made myself breakfast. Got dressed for school not for some special day. But it was great! Sergei and I watched Aladdin, drank mimosas and ate nachos. We had free church dinner! AND THEN!

Aurora got me a soap-on-a-rope gnome! GNOME  SHAPED SOAP! like WHAT?!?! ridiculous but I love it! but I'm not gunna use it! It now hangs in my bathroom. I'm probably going to have to name it...
She also got me...a boob! and I was looking at it completely confused until I saw the nipple! Modern art man! It's weird shit! But I love it!
Next blog I'll take a picture of them and put em up here because they're too good not to be shared!
And this girl, I swear to god she keeps me sane! I don't know what i would do without her! This girl goes and buys me a cheesecake! not a slice! A WHOLE CHEESECAKE!! Luckily I had people to share it with otherwise I would have died. And even though she'll rant that it wasn't the right kind she ordered it was still delicious.
I'm just gunna finish this night off with a bath! and I am just so happy.
So happy birthday to me. Maybe next year I'll even let other people in on it. Though I'd like to point out that only 56 of my 652 friends on facebook wished me happy birthday. I mean really!
...I honestly have no idea who those other 596 are anyways....oh well.

Goodnight!

Get Me To a Nunnery!

So guys, I've been thinking and yes. It's time.
Sign me up for the Nun Life!
Now I know what you're thinking, Cecilly you can't just run off and join a nunnery!
...Well yes I did think that and then people started explaining me all the steps that it takes to become a nun I think so that I would not become a nun...
Apparently you have to show up and chill there for 3 years just thinking about being a nun and decided if it's right for you. Then you've got to give up all your things and spend a lot of time thinking of god and praying...and then after like hundreds of years of nunhood you and god can get married...
Or something like that...
But you know I'm pretty dead set in this nun thing so I think I can just skip all those things and go straight to being a nun...I suppose I could marry god too if I really must but I don't particularly feel like sharing my husband with millions of other nuns...that's just creepy.
But I'mma do it and here's my reasons why!
1-I've decided I'm not mentally able to cope with the loss of my best friend and solid rock. No, Alfred's not dead. But he's gone off to date this crazy chick Cathleen who you know I don't actually hate but is super possessive of her man and hates me.
Understandable because as most women who enter relationships, the child has gone out of her mind and obviously sees me as a threat to the fused entity that is them by having Alfred as my friend. Needless to say I have been very upset over all of this though I absolutely see where she's coming from Alfred was still my best friend. I told that kid everything, I can't count the number of times he has dealt with my hysterics, brought ice cream when I need cheering up, sat through Pride & Prejudice (BBC and Kiera Knightly versions). I don't know how I would have stayed sane the past 3 years of university without him...but I guess I'm going to have to find out...and now I have to wash my own dishes which sucks.
But seriously sadness which I'm accepting.
2-I think I am a victim of harassment ? Maybe? Yeah remember those guys from my last post? The black guys at the library and one of them asked me out?
Well now they've both asked me out like the one guy needed to prove he was better than the other by getting me to say yes. I have no said yes I just walk away from them now! And they're super creepy! I'm always really careful when I'm patrolling the library cause I don't want to see them and usually they're on the first floor....but they've been getting sneakier!
They're studying in different  places all the time so I'll think I'm safe and bam there they are on the 3rd floor! And they always try to talk to me, ask me how my day was. It's not friendly it's creepy. But it's not like terrible yet...they haven't tried to follow me home...
And if they try and touch me I will just break their fingers and that will be that.
3-All the guys I know as a whole have just been too touchy lately....maybe it was just drunk me being hyper aware of people passing by me but just all the hands and the limbs and then these two guys who I've never seen before out of no where! Telling me and my drunk friend who I'm trying to help that we should kiss? NO  THANK YOU RUDE DOUCHE! So men are out and even though all these girls keep wearing red lipstick around me and I find them super attractive I have no interest in dealing with lady problems and I have no intention of taking those ladies away from the other men and women that do wanna deal with them.
4-If you don't send me to a nunnery I'll be forever lost in a sea of cute sloth gifs and videos. At least in a nunnery there's no internet just lots of reading and praying and singing! My life will not be wasted on those things if I'm in a nunnery!

Come on guys you know you wanna pay my entrance fee!!!!
So yeah basically I'm off to sing about hills alive with music in an Austrian nunnery because I miss my friend, I hate boys, boys are pigs, and sloths have taken over my world!
Seems legit right?

Too Black for My White Family

Wellllllll
Christmas happened.
Usually one of my most dreaded times of the year next to the birthdays of other family members. I'm not sure if it's because I'm the second youngest grandchild, my sister being the youngest or if my father's dislike of people is so embedded in me that I also hate people gatherings...probably a combo.
So every year about 6 times a year I have to go and sit and endure the old people questionings of if I like school have I seen my extended family in Victoria (of course not) what I plan on doing when I graduate blah blah blah blah I don't care. And no one really cares about the answer so I don't know why they insist on bothering me so.
BUT THIS YEAR! Yes I was most clever!
My parents went to a friends open house before family dinner and I was like I could go....but I would rather not be miserable for 10 hours, 6 hours is enough for me thanks. Which meant I had to bring the classic buns  to be baked mother said show up around 5:30...cause dinner is supposed to start around 6 and they take about 15 minutes to bake....dinner never starts on time.
So I showed up at 5. Extra early and....volunteered in the kitchen!
PURE GENIUS!! The kitchen is a safe place as long as you're working in it because my uncle just shoos the people who shouldn't be in there out which means they can't talk to me! Can't bombard me with inane questions! Can't demand why I'm single with no intention of getting married! AHAHAHA I was brilliant, brilliant BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!!
And of course I was right when I said dinner wouldn't start til 7:30, it was like 6 and my uncles like no no, hold off on the potatoes there aren't enough people here yet.
But see the problem is everyone expects dinner to start late so they just show up right before 7 expecting to be fed and not having to wait. And then the old people just descend! They see the food and they go for it even though it's not all out yet. Sigh old people but whatever. If their mouths are full they still can't talk to me.
Ugh! but then I found out that I don't get to go to my cousins wedding in the summer! I am sooooo upset! I've been waiting for these weddings, multiple cousins have decided it's time to start those things called families...ridiculous but whatever it's not my life and they're all late 20s early 30s so I guess they should get on that if they don't want to die alone....like I will be!
Pft, quelle domage. Whatever will I do keeping all my money...or all my poverty to myself and not have to deal with someone stealing my blankets and nagging me about kids.
I think I'll live.
but anyways so my cousin and his getting married. Perfectly fine because he's awesome and his fiance is pretty awesome too but as we were talking, I honestly don't know what I said because it's just so second nature now that  my cousin was like "wow you just went full black there"
And it's just another reminder of how much I've changed since going to UVic.
I was so white when I went to school but uvic is almost a completely white campus and white people have expectations. I have become so ridiculously sassy at school because that's what people want, no complaints I quite like it.
Also it gives me a cover to be rude because they really can't tell the difference.
Everyone's all Cecilly is so sassy, hence nickname Sassily but really I'm just rude or I hate you but think what you want. I find it hilarious.
But alas here we are on the last day of 2012.
And though I had wished for the world to end on the 21st I guess I will be forced to live another year. (21 this year, fun fun.)
We'll see how I fair because right now the world isn't looking good.
If the rumors are true....2013 will bring the birth of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's child=DEMON SPAWN
So maybe the Mayans were a year off?
Nah probably not but it did serve for some excellent tumblring while it lasted.
I took Ernesta and Anita to the states yesterday for shopping. It was the bomb! not literally there were no bombs...But we got a ton of Vanilla Coke.
Went to a real 5 Guys Burgers and Fries.
Bought a ton of clothes....it was a good day.
Ernesta is an english major and rarely goes to the states so she was just freaking out over all the things it was so cute.
I'm going to miss my Vancouver friends when I go back to school in a couple of days but I gotta go back to school and I miss my island friends too. Plus there are quite a few things that have gone down since I left and it's catch up time...watch out UVic I'm coming for you!

Basically all I can ask of 2013 is that it not snow so much, better music with less dubstep, give Taylor Swift at least 3 more boyfriends by next year so she can continue to make terrible yet catchy music, Money would be nice but I've never received it when I've wished for it so I'll just keep the day dreams where they are.
Either way I've got some good ideas for 2013. We'll see if they happen.
And if you keep reading this into the New Years, you'll be privy to if they happen.

Roses are Red, Poems Suck!

Priscilla has made it quite clear how discontent she is that I have no been posting more frequently....It's like the girl's never heard of homework...
Though let's be honest I don't really have homework mostly just poetry!
My feeling on poetry is that if it doesn't rhyme you might as well just write a short story...unfortunately my beliefs don't rule the class syllabus so I actually have to write poetry...that doesn't rhyme...because apparently I suck at that....joy....
Whatever! I want to write plays! Poetry is for the faint hearted! Take that Emily Dickinson!
So we wrote drafts for these poems and got feed back and basically everything that I had wanted in my poems the T.A. told me I was crazy, my poem was bad and no I couldn't make my poems about the things I wanted them to be about.....so....write new poems?
I went to my actual teacher for some advice. One of them it made sense I was like ok I can do that....the other one in which I really wanted to portray the ocean as a kidnapper like with the undertow and stuff was apparently a cliche connection. I needed to turn this ocean into a sexual predator....and then somewhere hint in the poem that the child's step father sexually abuses her....
HAS ANYONE EVER WRITTEN A HAPPY POEM BEFORE!?!
I mean come on! All through high school poems were depressing, stories were depressing, if people weren't dying it wasn't going to be a best seller! I thought we could leave that behind in university...not that kidnapping is very happy but it's not as bad as such blatant ridiculousness!

 I'm going to have a BF! (I've wanted to make White Chick references all week but no one ever gets them anymore!)
And I have to mentor the second mainstage this weekend/week! That's like 24 hours of my life and crucial homework time gone! I'm never going to get that back especially since a whole whack of stuff is due wednesday but all Saturday I'll be at the theater, then work, and then Sunday my work thought they were helping since I couldn't do my usual wednesday shift with this show they put me on Sunday afternoon too....I'm just going to lock myself in my house...Maybe I'll let Alfred come.
It's weird because I go for what seems like weeks without seeing him (that's what happens when you're in brain sciences and you're graduating this year) and then he comes over 2 days in a row.
Oh right I guess I should mention that it was Halloween this week, people that are reading in other countries I don't know if you have this ridiculous day. We in Canada/ America dress up as things and eat candy.

I was Sebastian from the Little Mermaid. --->

Our costumes were pretty spot on. Aurora was Ariel. She bought a spanx and sewed fabric shells onto her boobs and Priscilla was Flounder. We were the best....and yet we didn't win of the costume contests....But most importantly Alfred washed my dishes and cleaned up my couch in the living room! Wasn't that nice since all my spare time is spent writing blogs that I don't have time to keep my house clean...and the rest of that time is spent drunk at Halloween parties. 

Whatever, tis a good life. He's still my BGFF (Best Guy Friend Forever) which I have to specify because Priscilla used to get upset when I would call him my BFF because apparently that's reserved forever....pft these kids just assuming their my favorites. Story of my life!!!

Let's be honest I gave him the fake name Alfred so that one day I could apply Batman/ Alfred pictures to my life. This is basically us!

Anyways in all seriousness I need to get in a depressed mode to write these dark creepy poems!

Ciao mi lovelies!<3

PS: the one who looks like Tintin still hasn't called, I think I'm safe...though I might have seen him in the library the other day.....Eep!

Lord, Let Me Be A Call Girl

Hey Readers,
I'm going to make this super fast because Alfred is on his way, I haven't done dishes in like 4 days and I haven't seen him since....I feel like it's been 2 weeks....but that's probably a lie I can't keep track of the days.
....And about my last post...Yeah I was really drunk and when I said chail I meant jail but I think it was mostly understandable. And GUESS WHO ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK THE NEXT MORNING!? Clark Kent. Yeah bitches, I think I won that battle.
But let's talk about the real heart of the matter here...
World!
I WANT TO BE A PROSTITUTE!!!

Ok so maybe not, I don't want to be all hopped up on drugs and skulking around back alley ways but like a high class escort, a courtesan, a call girl! A girl in high demand that people have to go through a selection process to have the privilege to be with ME!
I know, I know if Gnomiomy is reading this she is probably shaking her head in shame but it is more likely she has chosen to disregard my blasphemous tendencies. P. Bob is probably just laughing her ass off and will threaten me later to tell my dad when she next sees him at the gym. (Don't tell Ivor, he'll never be able to handle the truth about his little girl)
But seriously, I think my real inner whore started to come out at a friend's birthday party this summer when we were drunk on chatroulette. Everyone on chatroulette is either looking for boobs or 12 year old boys....looking for boobs. And then every now and then you get a group of girls who are just looking for guys who are looking for boobs so that they can scream and go to the next page. Seems like a perfectly useful website, what could go wrong....(I'm rolling my eyes)
Anyways, drunk me was all down for the boobs. Luckily P.Bob was not so down, saved me a few times. I still got a couple though.
Well low and behold, Cecilly actually gets drunk the other day. Yes I have drunk since returning to school but not like this. It was the Vodka shots I think! BLAME MY WHORISHNESS ON PRISCILLA! <--she wanted to do the vodka shots and it was her vodka so naturally it's all her fault.Yup!
Right so I was super drunk and I go for a walk with some guys who I plan to make my new best guy friends because they're soooo freaking awesome, I'll let them know one day of my plans. And I come back and this kid is sitting in a director's chair in the living room. Like one of those old, very uncomfortable, wood and cloth, high up chairs. And he just looks at me and says "Cecilly, Dance!"
Naturally I can not dance, I lack the ability to normal human dance but there is one kind of dance I can do...."I only know how to pole dance" I say. Naturally I think I have figured my way out of this, not that drunk me really cares. And then Antonio, who is just sitting on the floor with this second year girl!
"Just imagine there's a pole!"
And I did you guys, I could see the pole in my head, I knew a routine! We had just learned it in Dirty Dancing last week! I WAS GOING FOR IT!!
And then sober Cecilly (who, shhh, sounds a lot like Alfred) was like 'girl what do you think you're doing, you're in public and these people will remember this tomorrow!' and drunk Cecilly was like 'but' and sober Cecilfred was like 'just say no!'
....So I said no, be proud my Gnomikins! I did not make a fool of myself and I did not strip for the Phoenix!

I hit Antonio for it today, he's not even sorry! Said he would get me next time....great now I gotta watch my back. But there's a whole month before the next party.

So maybe I won't be a prostitute....though I bet I'd make fantastic money and I would never have to worry about paying for school or loan debt....
I guess I'll just have to suffice with putting on ridiculous, ill fitted shades of lipstick, watching Secret Diaries of a Call Girl and taking pole dancing classes.
C'est la vie.
Alfred and I are going to Willows Beach, rain already ruined my hair today, what's a little walk gunna do.

Close Dis Mutha Down!

It has been a long lond day my friends! I know this!
And yers I write this I am drunk..A consequence of dealing with the ushers for so long! But it is closing which means I get to let go! Ever if i have to do opera homework tomorrow and then go over to Pricsilla's place for zombie make up times ato haunt the house again tomorrow. Sometimes mama alto/ sugarmama just needs a drinkl or a 6 pack is good too! THIS was my metdal for not killing Clark Kent! I have neem super nice to him alday! I get a drink!
And Drink I Did!
It has been a freat day, I conveinently cheecked out and then avoided all the men in the club....not a club the phoenix party! which is a good go cecilly! because i reuse to date men in the theater....just leads to  toruble! toruble sucks! can't have that! Party recap!!!
So superman lost his pin! which emans he has to grant this girl 3 wishes! her first is that he clean her house....silly wish if you as me! can't trust a man to clean a house and she never said how well either! it could be his version of clean! silly child , yiu mudt think out the wording of your wishes! but she's got 2 more. I ho9pe she does mbetter and makes him really suffer!
I met some of his frat friends, they seem pretty nice. Guess I can't just! oh well they were more sober than we were which is danger man so dangerous!
I tried to play "Emma " aka gwenthyh Paltrow and set my friends up....lodn't think it worked ....at all....i odn't really care. she just asked me to put in a good word with him.....sigh people
Then of course theres all the people that come up and say mo matter what the uvic progeressors say i belong in the acting program....thanks....I'll keep that in mind....oh drunk people so good. Gota love em..
thane  the cops showed up and I left....never going to chail. no way never no how.
and also my house was 3 blocks away! so I went home, ehear I am,,,,posting though I know I shouldn't I checked in with mamma/ butler Alfred to  let him know that I got home safe as he wishesd. And DUH! I MADE QUAC! It's the one thing I can do drunk!
Night,
me and Nachos are going to go lie down!