Get Me To a Nunnery!

So guys, I've been thinking and yes. It's time.
Sign me up for the Nun Life!
Now I know what you're thinking, Cecilly you can't just run off and join a nunnery!
...Well yes I did think that and then people started explaining me all the steps that it takes to become a nun I think so that I would not become a nun...
Apparently you have to show up and chill there for 3 years just thinking about being a nun and decided if it's right for you. Then you've got to give up all your things and spend a lot of time thinking of god and praying...and then after like hundreds of years of nunhood you and god can get married...
Or something like that...
But you know I'm pretty dead set in this nun thing so I think I can just skip all those things and go straight to being a nun...I suppose I could marry god too if I really must but I don't particularly feel like sharing my husband with millions of other nuns...that's just creepy.
But I'mma do it and here's my reasons why!
1-I've decided I'm not mentally able to cope with the loss of my best friend and solid rock. No, Alfred's not dead. But he's gone off to date this crazy chick Cathleen who you know I don't actually hate but is super possessive of her man and hates me.
Understandable because as most women who enter relationships, the child has gone out of her mind and obviously sees me as a threat to the fused entity that is them by having Alfred as my friend. Needless to say I have been very upset over all of this though I absolutely see where she's coming from Alfred was still my best friend. I told that kid everything, I can't count the number of times he has dealt with my hysterics, brought ice cream when I need cheering up, sat through Pride & Prejudice (BBC and Kiera Knightly versions). I don't know how I would have stayed sane the past 3 years of university without him...but I guess I'm going to have to find out...and now I have to wash my own dishes which sucks.
But seriously sadness which I'm accepting.
2-I think I am a victim of harassment ? Maybe? Yeah remember those guys from my last post? The black guys at the library and one of them asked me out?
Well now they've both asked me out like the one guy needed to prove he was better than the other by getting me to say yes. I have no said yes I just walk away from them now! And they're super creepy! I'm always really careful when I'm patrolling the library cause I don't want to see them and usually they're on the first floor....but they've been getting sneakier!
They're studying in different  places all the time so I'll think I'm safe and bam there they are on the 3rd floor! And they always try to talk to me, ask me how my day was. It's not friendly it's creepy. But it's not like terrible yet...they haven't tried to follow me home...
And if they try and touch me I will just break their fingers and that will be that.
3-All the guys I know as a whole have just been too touchy lately....maybe it was just drunk me being hyper aware of people passing by me but just all the hands and the limbs and then these two guys who I've never seen before out of no where! Telling me and my drunk friend who I'm trying to help that we should kiss? NO  THANK YOU RUDE DOUCHE! So men are out and even though all these girls keep wearing red lipstick around me and I find them super attractive I have no interest in dealing with lady problems and I have no intention of taking those ladies away from the other men and women that do wanna deal with them.
4-If you don't send me to a nunnery I'll be forever lost in a sea of cute sloth gifs and videos. At least in a nunnery there's no internet just lots of reading and praying and singing! My life will not be wasted on those things if I'm in a nunnery!

Come on guys you know you wanna pay my entrance fee!!!!
So yeah basically I'm off to sing about hills alive with music in an Austrian nunnery because I miss my friend, I hate boys, boys are pigs, and sloths have taken over my world!
Seems legit right?

How To Drink Tons and Not Die

Well hello there internet.
In all honesty, I have no idea how one makes it through a night of drinking without dying or serious injury. True there are many who don't make it through the night and many who do and I am fortunate to be one of those who do....for several nights in a row.
Which is basically all I've been doing, what I was doing in my last 2 posts but I think we need a sober recap of the more important events on those nights.
December 6th! Twas my friend, Shenanigads birthday
She is a history major so we met at her house with many smart historical types and drank and played Cards Against Humanity which is like a more bad ass version of Apples to Apples. And we watched her get inducted/baptized in the traditional Dutch way to become a worthy owner of the Dutch card game Dutch Blitz....it was very strange but we supported her and were proud to have seen her come so far.
December 7th! SMUTCo PARTY!!
Smutco stands for Student Musical Theater Company which basically means of people who really really love musicals and are denied any form of singing in the Phoenix so they started their own club so each year they can do a review of sorts of their favorite songs. This year were doing classics like Cell Block Tango and America as well as new goodness like Let Me Be Your Star, 96,000 and other solo/mash ups. It's super awesome and we had a party for just us members but lots of people were already gone because it's exam week. But Lord Chase and myself were drinking heartily. It twas then decided that we be new best drinking buddies! After I was walking home and i thought I would take this shortcut that leads to a road with the same name as my road but they don't connect so I got lost. I was walking along and I saw this guy go sprinting across the road in front of me so I took out my pocket knife just in case...don't want to die. And he goes sprinting back across the road and sits in his car....it was creepy but he paid no notice to me and didn't stalk me home so I think he was a delivery guy...even though it was like 1 in the morning....
December 8th I took a little rest. It's hard being drunk so much.
December 9th! Alfred and I were together again!
After a very long day of work in the library Alfred brought me along to his friend Michael's birthday party...I've met him like twice....not awkward.
But before we could get there however I had a long bout of nose bleeding. It was awful and I never get them so I had no idea what to do! And his friend Pat, driving us there, wouldn't let me in the car until it stopped! It wasn't good. I just lied face down in the parking lot until it stopped because the pavement was cold. Not a good start....BUT THEN! I met this guy Nick while I was there and we were both drunk and we got into this massive conversation about Egg Nog and how freaking fantastic it is and all her friends always disagree! Turns out he had egg nog!...at his house....like a 20 minute walk away.
Now I hope you're all smarter than me and would never follow a random stranger you met at a party away from your friends because he promised you egg nog...it was no wise. But luck was with me and he was not a rapist! Just a friendly drunk who had egg nog. So we walked all the way to his house which was a fair distance and all the way back. Without a coat of course because drunks can't be bothered with trivial matters....got back to the party about 5am...it was definitely winding down. Luckily Alfred was still there,, quite worried that I had run off somewhere without my things and with some random guy but happy enough to see I wasn't dead.
Took some time off then...thought I might study for my writing exam but I didn't.
December 13th! WRITING EXAM!
So Lord Chase and I planned to go drinking after this exam and it's a good thing we did because it was a very bad exam. It called for shots. So we climb up mount Tolmie, get our glow sticks on start drinking. Are super drunk on the top of this mountain looking out at Victoria lights. We decide to get pizza and start walking back but instead of getting pizza from the caf, it's like 9:30, we order from this Beer and More to you door thing because His Lordship decides we need more alcohol, I was not opposed.
But we ordered wine....and I don't like wine...I can't drink it it's just so gross! But he insists we get a magnum...which when I ordered I thought was a brand or type....but it's a size!

A VERY LARGE BOTTLE OF WINE!!! ...and I still don't like wine...I ended up mixing it with pepsi to drink...cause I'm just so classy! It was also Antonio's birthday today so at midnight we sent him an e-card of our faces.

And possibly the silliest idea we had all night...was making a video for Jennifer Lawrence to tell her how much we love her....

Yes it was a solid night to be had....could have died I was so drunk but alas. Here I am still on earth and not even hung over!
Luck is my friend.
So how should you drink tons and not die?
Step 1: Drink all your alcohol really fast right away! You get super drunk super quick but as the night goes on you work it off so that by the time your ready for bed you're only slightly tipsy! (does not work for everyone)
Step 2: Drink with your friends! At least then, even if you're both super freaking wasted some one else will be there in the case of your death....
Perhaps step 2 should have been choose trustworthy friends to drink with....I trust my friends enough to call 911 before running off and hiding in the bushes.
Step 3: Tell someone where you are! (have you noticed these steps have no specific order?)
I always let someone know where I am. My drunk texting has become much worse though this year and I often hit 6 letters at once on my blackberry so it doesn't always work but as long as someone knows your drinking it's a good start.
I tried to tell Antonio about going for egg nog with Nick, and when I turned down the wrong street and got lost on the night of Smutco party but all he said was don't die and don't stab anyone not very helpful or sympathetic.
So maybe he isn't the best to tell.
I try to tell Aurora, if she's awake she's pretty good at deciphering or being worried which is always appreciated. I think she probably just sits there laughing and my incomprehensibleness.
Sometimes I text Gumpette about the cool things.
And generally Alfred knows in advance that I'm going out.
other than that sometimes I text who ever is near the top of my contacts list...like Pamela the other night...didn't tell her where I was or that I was drunk just that I loved her a lot.

These are the keys that I can give you.
If you wake up not dead then I can tell you to drink water. Eat salty things...or just hope there's food in your house....during show weeks there is never any food in my house. It's a shame.
Well good luck to all of you still writing exams, happy living to all of those who aren't.

REUNITED AT LAST!!!

Oh happy internet people!
Many weeks have gone by since I have had the pleasure of seeing Alfred.
Certainly we have chatted now and again on the facebook but we have both been terribly busy in our respective areas of study that we have not the time to see one another.
Alfred is graduating this year you see which means much homework for a biology/ psychology major and I'm simply not quick enough with my essay writing or studying to see him. This being. We haven't seen each other in almost 4 weeks!
Absurd for how much time he spends doing my dishes and keeping me on task.
Also, as I previously mentioned many posts back, he had ripped his back open on his little back trip to Tofino and has spent much of his time lying on his stomach healing.
BUT ALAS HE HAS RETURNED!!! Though suspiciously after I have done my own dishes....hmmmm.
Sadly I must go to work for 4 hours! An absurd amount! I know people with regular jobs are like "tis nothing!" but my 4 hours will be spent walking around the library and telling people not to eat and stop snoring even though it's exam week and they couldn't possibly do such things in the confines of their houses.
But! After work, we will party! Not that I need, as he takes the time to point out, any particular reason for drinking. After Friday night however I feel like many would agree.
If you remember many months back I mentioned my Front of House partner Antonio, he would certainly agree with my no longer needing to drink. A very long conversation about dragons and dangerous people on the streets. But alas, it is all in good fun and my favorite first year (we'll call him Walt) is fantastic company and together we make a grand couple of drunkards.
So yes, Alfred and I shall party tonight! Until then it's Love Actually time! I am happy!
Life is good!
I hope yours is too!

Confessions of a Fan Fiction Addict

Hi my name is Cecilly and I am addicted to fanfiction.
It all started a little over a year ago when my friend introduced me to Severus/Hermione fanfiction from Harry Potter. I quickly became obsessed....mostly because I love Snape and Alan Rickman so much. I vowed to myself that it would never go beyond that....but it has. I am ashamed to admit that I have begun to read and support the Snarry ship! (Snape/Harry)
I know! It's so wrong of me! Snape loved his mother, he has his mother's eyes! (not that I support Lily in anyway, I think she was a terrible human being and an even worse friend...but I'm not going to get into an argument with the Jily, Snily shippers of the world)
At first I didn't understand, how could they be together with this prior connection and I couldn't get behind the smut. (I'm not homophobic I just can't fit my mind into the equations of gay sex) but then I found the Marriage Stone! And for those of you who know it are sitting at their computers raising their eyes and crying out for the whereabouts of Josephine Darcy who disappeared years ago in the middle of the most perfect, epic Snarry fic ever written! And we know she had every intention of continuing. She says in the last chapter (chapter 77) that she'll update very soon that she is free from whatever relative visiting function she had been pulled away by....and then nothing....OH THE PAIN AND CRUELTY!!!
Clearly I should have started my expectations much lower because nothing meets its standards....I don't even really read Snarry because there's just nothing very good out there. I want romance and wooing! Which is why I stick to Snamoine but fanfiction has ruined my life.
I see it everywhere! I SHIP REGULAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I DREAM OF BUILDING A FLEET OF COUPLES AND SETTING THEM A SAIL ON THE HIGH HOLY WATERS! This summer I finally cried at Boromir's death in Lord of the Rings because I learnt to ship everyone in the fellowship!
I AM RUINED!! So ruined!!
And even though I think real life sucks and people suck and relationships are a waste of time...I'm contemplating going on a date?
What is wrong with me?
Am I doing it just because people don't think I could? NEWS FLASH! I'm a freaking awesome girlfriend. I can do everything!
We're gonna do all the things all the couples like to do.
We're gonna go to a movie, we're gonna have some dinner, take a walk, look at the moonlight, Anything you want (but baby I got a question...)
No I don't that's just Danko Jones creeping into my head. Remember that song? CLASSIC!

Anyways! For what good reason would I have to have a boyfriend! I already have Alfred! ...He'd probably be super mad at me for writing about this and not telling him... besides he's riding with his friends to Tofino, crazy person....sometimes I need better friends? Yeah the ones I have are pretty good for specific occasions but they're not very good with feed back...
Maybe I just need to sing about it...or crawl up in a ball and cry about it...or watch Pride and Prejudice again....or insult people! That usually makes me feel better.
I was just thinking today about how we need a really good plague to come along and wipe out some of the stupid people! I have a pretty sweet immune system so I think I could hold out until they've found a cure...or it just goes away...but I'm worried that 21st century plagues are just rage viruses and I am NOT dealing with freaking zombies! Yup watch Joss Whedon being awesome and clarifying why I was so afraid of Romney winning president.

Whatever the Obama's are awesome.

I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. So a summary of what has been discussed here today:

1. Yes I think I should have the right to evaluate each human's intelligence and determine if they should have the privilege of living in a 1st, 2nd or 3rd world country with the stupidest humans earning a special category of "On the Moon far away from me and the rest of society so they can't infect us with their stupidity"
2. Yes I'm glad that Obama won and that Michelle can continue to be a good role model to ladies, but especially the black ones, so that they no longer have to look to Oprah and her soul OWNing tv shows for guidance.
3. Yes I think relationships are a stupid waste of time but
4. No I have not decided whether or not I should go on a date from this post...computer screens don't give very good feed back...maybe a combo of ask.com and tumblr will help me sort through this dilemma.
5. Yes fan fiction is a thing if you didn't know that already, most of your friends are probably closet readers, some may even read 50 Shades of Grey which is Twilight fanfiction that renamed the characters and became mommy porn. Though I only limit myself to Harry Potter pairings someone one day might write something almost as deserving as my HP love and I will concede to ship them as well. 
6. No I am not at all adverse to becoming a old lady with nothing but my fanfiction to keep me alive. At least it's not cats, I will save money on cat food and won't die of a hair ball that slowly develops in my esophagus over years because my cats shed so much. (SO THERE YOU CRAZY OLD CAT LADIES GET A REAL OBSESSION!)

Alright 6 is too many numbers. I'm stopping. I'm going to bed. I think this is all part of the regular mid-November reading break crisis that overwhelms me every year...not aided by the fact that I have to see the fine arts counselor tomorrow who will most likely tell me I'm no where near graduation and I suck at life...

JOYS!

So I'll just spiral back down into the pit of despair and fan fiction which is an excellent absorber of pathetic spirits and self doubts.

Oh well!

Good night world

Ex-Factors

You know world, I did a really good thing today. Like a really really good thing, I saved someone a whole lot of trouble....though they may not have been of deserving intelligence so why do cruel reminders pop up when you're feeling good about yourself?
Let me explain the events of my day:
Today I had to attend the safety talk for the Fall Mainstage that started around 11:30 (funny enough there was a fire alarm in the middle of the tech run that followed) which meant that I had to get up a whole hour earlier than I was planning to for a run that wasn't supposed to start til 1pm. And really my only purpose was to explain timed note taking to the girls that will be front of house managing this show because I'm their mentor (WOE IS ME!)
Anyways so I left my house, worried that I would miss my bus (Turns out the schedule was wrong and there is no bus at that time anyways) when there I see in the running gutter water a wallet.....with hundreds of cards in it....And I think to myself: Cecilly, you are a good person. You should return this girl's wallet! Imagine how worried she must be! She'll have to call all of those cards to cancel them! It's only 11 if you're lucky she's still super drunk and passed out and hasn't done that yet!
So I was a good person, I took the wallet with me to school so I could contact her...only her phone number was not in the wallet...personally I think you should always have your phone number in your wallet! I google the address on her drivers license...it's over in Gorge that's almost an hour long bus ride from my house! I don't have time for that! So me and the 2 other girls I'm mentoring begin calling the customer service numbers on the back of all these cards. Of course it's a weekend so many of them were closed...way to go customer service...
I know you're sitting at home reading this and thinking god Cecilly it's 2012 just facebook that girl! WELL I TRIED!!! But she had the most plain jane name! There were hundreds of her, many didn't look like her, most were from the other side of the world!
I finally got in touch with her credit card people and told them what happened to which they said: "Oh thank you for telling us we'll be sure to contact her have a nice day" and hung up.....excuse me lady...but you didn't take my number...how is she going to be able to find the person that has her stuff without that info...I may have just gotten her credit card canceled....OH WELL! DON'T LOOSE YOUR STUFF!!!
Basically it came down to calling the La Senza at the Bay Center (A mall downtown) because customer service is closed, begging the nice girl for her membership phone number, breaking the privacy policy at La Senza and getting her number....BUT OF COURSE SHE WOULD NOT ANSWER THE PHONE!!
Ridiculous, you would think, no matter how drunk you were last night, that you would have your phone on when you've lost your wallet.....I called her about 6 times. Finally she turned her phone on and answered!
The problem? She didn't know where she was....how do you not know where you are? According to your drivers license you have lived in Victoria for at least 3 years and you don't know where you currently are? AND THEN SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE UVIC WAS!? WHAT?! ridiculous. More ridiculous is that where she was is still a 15 minute drive by car from my house and where her wallet was...How did your wallet end up outside my house! W
Whatever, I gave the crazy child directions and left it with the box office and then went out in the rain because of this fire drill....
I kid you not the world wants me to die!
So then! I'm feeling pretty good about my good deeds and what not. Girl got her wallet back and all her gift cards. Didn't have to cancel anything. I have work in an hour so I figure THAI FOOD! The only worthy treat! I even got to go with Gumpette who I almost never see anymore! It was going to be totally awesome!
But no, who would be outside of Fairway? Why none other than my least favorite human. You know he really brings it on himself. I wanted to be normal and friendly but no! Several times he has seen me and I KNOW he has and he has run away! That's PATHETIC! So I see him, he sees me avoids my eyes and runs into Fairway with his girlfriend (I assume it's his girlfriend) even though I was mid-wave. Whatever I didn't want to be nice anyways.
So I order my thai food and we're walking to cobs because Gumpette has it in for tasty bread and there he coming around the corner with what I can only assume are his 7 other roommates. (How awful would that be to have 7 roommates!)
He TRIES TO LOOK AWAY BUT I'M LIKE HELL NO!
So I very politely say Hi Matt. And yes I'm using his real name because he really doesn't deserve the decency to have his identity hidden. I can see him thinking about ignoring it but he says Hi...and runs away with his army of music kids.
I'm just freaking livid! but also Why do I care! Gumpette even said you can do so much better and I have. I had done better before I even dated him!
Even the drug dealer with the dog collar and chain in gr. 8 was better looking and a better boyfriend than him!
So I guess you're wondering why I settled for the bottom of the barrel.
Low self-esteem! And never again will I find myself in such a state of self loathing and misery and loneliness! Going into grade 10 everything was wrong and worthless but along comes this gaped toothed bag of douche who likes to sing (though his voice makes my ears cringe) and tells me I'm beautiful? Of course I fell.
Even when I found out what terrible humans he and his family are, even when he told me there was no point in staying together if we weren't getting married, even when he called me stupid and got me the most inconsiderate/insulting/insincere gifts or else told me that someone who realized how shitty his gifts were made him get something a little more heart felt I didn't leave him.
Why?
Fear probably. I remember when he told me he never wanted to leave Maple Ridge and that we might as well break up if marriage wasn't the result of our dating. Part of me was so mad and disgusted that this was the ultimatum but we didn't break up. I stayed with this jerk for a year, trying to convince myself that maybe one day I could marry him because what if no one else wanted me. Such bullshit. Of course I had my own faults in the relationship but I like to believe they were my passive aggressive attempts at payback for how low he made me feel.
Then one day he made the mistake of telling me that I was only one of 2 girls he had considered dating before he settled on me. The other was my very close friend, way out of his league, light years above me in looks but of course he realized she would never choose him when she had dozens of better looking boys throwing themselves at her feet. So he settled for me.
I think being told you're second best by someone you trust and think you love is about the worst feeling you can experience.
Today after watching the Good Person of Setzuan I was mad that Shen Te always goes back for Yang Sun even though when she's disguised as a man she can see clearly that he doesn't love her. My friend asked me had I ever been in love. I would like to think so but I guess that answer means no. But even if I haven't been in love I've experienced something like what Shen Te must have felt. Knowing one thing but ignoring it for another.
Yeah I would like to throw things at Matt. I won't but I'd like to, I might swear at him next time I see him alone.
The point of all this is that even though I'm really awesome now I wasn't always and I've learned a lot over the years that you can't let other people get to you. But you can let them pump you up! Which is why Alfred is over to kiss my feet and remind me why I deserve to rule the world. He's also agreed to watch Pride and Prejudice (though I think he's making fun of Kiara Knightly inside his head).
Whatever!
Stay strong readers!
You might get lucky and become stellar like me! <3

ps: if you're currently with an asshole and you think you're in love and that's making you irrational give me a call. I'll come straighten out his attitude!

Roses are Red, Poems Suck!

Priscilla has made it quite clear how discontent she is that I have no been posting more frequently....It's like the girl's never heard of homework...
Though let's be honest I don't really have homework mostly just poetry!
My feeling on poetry is that if it doesn't rhyme you might as well just write a short story...unfortunately my beliefs don't rule the class syllabus so I actually have to write poetry...that doesn't rhyme...because apparently I suck at that....joy....
Whatever! I want to write plays! Poetry is for the faint hearted! Take that Emily Dickinson!
So we wrote drafts for these poems and got feed back and basically everything that I had wanted in my poems the T.A. told me I was crazy, my poem was bad and no I couldn't make my poems about the things I wanted them to be about.....so....write new poems?
I went to my actual teacher for some advice. One of them it made sense I was like ok I can do that....the other one in which I really wanted to portray the ocean as a kidnapper like with the undertow and stuff was apparently a cliche connection. I needed to turn this ocean into a sexual predator....and then somewhere hint in the poem that the child's step father sexually abuses her....
HAS ANYONE EVER WRITTEN A HAPPY POEM BEFORE!?!
I mean come on! All through high school poems were depressing, stories were depressing, if people weren't dying it wasn't going to be a best seller! I thought we could leave that behind in university...not that kidnapping is very happy but it's not as bad as such blatant ridiculousness!

 I'm going to have a BF! (I've wanted to make White Chick references all week but no one ever gets them anymore!)
And I have to mentor the second mainstage this weekend/week! That's like 24 hours of my life and crucial homework time gone! I'm never going to get that back especially since a whole whack of stuff is due wednesday but all Saturday I'll be at the theater, then work, and then Sunday my work thought they were helping since I couldn't do my usual wednesday shift with this show they put me on Sunday afternoon too....I'm just going to lock myself in my house...Maybe I'll let Alfred come.
It's weird because I go for what seems like weeks without seeing him (that's what happens when you're in brain sciences and you're graduating this year) and then he comes over 2 days in a row.
Oh right I guess I should mention that it was Halloween this week, people that are reading in other countries I don't know if you have this ridiculous day. We in Canada/ America dress up as things and eat candy.

I was Sebastian from the Little Mermaid. --->

Our costumes were pretty spot on. Aurora was Ariel. She bought a spanx and sewed fabric shells onto her boobs and Priscilla was Flounder. We were the best....and yet we didn't win of the costume contests....But most importantly Alfred washed my dishes and cleaned up my couch in the living room! Wasn't that nice since all my spare time is spent writing blogs that I don't have time to keep my house clean...and the rest of that time is spent drunk at Halloween parties. 

Whatever, tis a good life. He's still my BGFF (Best Guy Friend Forever) which I have to specify because Priscilla used to get upset when I would call him my BFF because apparently that's reserved forever....pft these kids just assuming their my favorites. Story of my life!!!

Let's be honest I gave him the fake name Alfred so that one day I could apply Batman/ Alfred pictures to my life. This is basically us!

Anyways in all seriousness I need to get in a depressed mode to write these dark creepy poems!

Ciao mi lovelies!<3

PS: the one who looks like Tintin still hasn't called, I think I'm safe...though I might have seen him in the library the other day.....Eep!