Monitor Your PDA

Sooooo, I've said this a few times.....but there are days where I honestly feel like people are trying to kill me with their relationships.
For prior beliefs on crazies in relationships see:
Mamas Guide To Wooing 
Get Me to a Nunnery
Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend Yet
The Burden of Being Single

And like lord knows how many others on encountering my stupid and engaged ex who runs away from me but I feel like this is a slightly newer version of this topic.

If you are going to be in a relationship and you and your partner plan to be in public situations, especially around people you know and like
PLEASE GET ALL YOU FACE SUCKING NEEDS OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE YOU EXIT INTO THE REAL WORLD!!!!

Like it's just so gross.
Not to mention awkward
When you're all chillen before class or at a bus stop and these two people have somehow melted into one blob of slurping sounds and little I love yous no I love yous!
Like, STOP!
We're not interested?
If I wanted to watch that kind of mush I'd visit a high school.

Of course if you don't want to have a conversation with your friends then don't insert yourself, especially into the middle, of a group or conversation. Now there's this circle of awkwardness around you trying to be like omg should i look, i was going to ask her about the history homework but i guess I can wait, oh god please don't get on the bus with us!
Also, there's no where in the immediate victoria area that the buses from uvic won't get you in half an hour.... I'm sure you can wait half an hour. If you've really been apart that long all day that you can't not suck face then like go hide behind a tree for a bit and suck face til your bus comes, we'll call you and let you know that it's there but please SAVE US THE AWKWARDNESS!
Likewise if we wanted to suck face with either of you we probably would have beat your significant other to asking you out or else would walk away in this instant.
It's just these little moments of ignorance that tear people apart.
And suddenly you wake up one day and that significant other is gone and all your friends have gotten new phones and you don't have the number because they dread having to spent time with two goldfish that are stuck together at the lips.
Then what will you do
Where as if you had just been polite this wouldn't be a problem.
SAVE THE FRIENDSHIPS!

Engaged or Married

Soo I had a really depressing realization the other day
Everyone that I've ever dated is either engaged or married...
and I'm just over here twiddling my thumbs apparently.
Now if you want to be reasonable you could go "But come now Cecilly most of them are 3-5 years older than you. That puts them at 26 years old! That's a perfectly good time to start thinking about settling down"
....Well that didn't sound any more reasonable when I typed it out.
Married at 28, sure
26?
What is wrong with you! You just left 25! You're hardly an adult let alone ready to take on adult things like marriage!!
Even worse, a lot of them were married soon after they started going to university or graduated...2 of them married french girls though one was Parisian and the other from Montreal...weird
(this post is just becoming a realizations post)
3 Of them are getting married to the girl they dated right after me...
You might remember I told you all about my stupid ex from like grade 10/11 who continuously runs away from me (read about it in Encountering Exes) Well he still runs away from me which is ridiculous in itself
But apparently him and his girlfriend recently got engaged in September which everyone else had to tell me of course because we're not facebook friends...for obvious reasons like I tried to send his soul to hell with premarital sex (he's crazy catholic and maybe I should be grateful I didn't succeed)
I find it's even more awkward when he tries to run away with his fiance in tow!
Well more comical
Because she obviously has no idea what's going on.
Like what the hell am I going to do?
Summon a demon to destroy you? (would if I could ;))

But even more recently than that on the engagement calendar!
Remember Alfred!! The most perfect thing in my life last year? The reason my dishes never get done anymore!
Well if you recall in January, he went off with this girl Katleen (not like Kaitlyn. Literally Kat- Leen the fuck)
And I stood by going yes totally reasonable. She's much better suited for you!
Well I've heard it from a mutual source that he planned to propose to her Thanksgiving Monday! On the drive home near Duncan! Like flabbergasted am I!!
Do I think they're well suited?
Yes
But like...REALLY!?
No confirmation yet on whether or not that actually happened but it's pretty believable knowing Alfred...
So that's where I stand...
Over here.
Alone!

The only ex who's relationship status I don't know I think is either dead. Or probably has like 4 kids by now because he's that kind of white trash...or probably no children and alone because he's done too many drugs and now he's impotent....Who can really say?
No regrets there at least.

But of course if I stopped wollowing for a minute I would remember all the reasons I am alone, want to be alone,  choose to be alone and think damn girl, you're lucky...
But it's still depressing
I feel like that Dane Cook movie with Jessica Alba I think it is and every woman he sleeps with even that really gross really fat one gets married and all he wants is Jessica Alba but he doesn't want her to marry someone else....
Well maybe it's best they all marry someone else...
And I can continue my never ending quest to be a call girl!
AHAHA!
Peace out Blogpeeps

How to be Black by 27 White People

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
What a world I live in.
Well here's that first year welcome movie I said I'd upload

Anyways

So As you know I am in Skin of Our Teeth, basically because I'm black and I can sing.

That's fine. I knew that going in.

I had no idea what to expect from the director but whatever fly with it. 

And for a while it was going pretty well, there were a few awkward moments, a few hostile glances and mutters but we go on. 

Until last night

So we're supposed to be singing this gospelesque song and yeah it's probably the easiest. whitest. stomping john connors thing you've ever heard. And there's me getting all the flack for not setting the tone. 

Little did everyone know that they cast the whitest black girl in victoria to be in their show.

So instead of a nice little sing through the song rehearsal we had a long process of trying to get me into the right state of blackness. And instead of just having the 3 people who are most educated on this matter of black I've got 27 white people all giving me their input, telling me to sing out, feeeeeeeeel it, humming at me.

Well no shit it didn't get better. 

I left feeling pretty down. also having no idea who I am if I have any black spirit in me. 

So like all insane actors who for whatever reason dedicate themselves to the craft even when they feel defeated and alone....I researched.

I looked up every version of this god damn song I could find!

I put the best ones on my ipod! 

I WATCHED A QUEEN LATIFA MOVIE!!! (Joyful Noise. It's all about a Georgia church choir trying to win a singing contest lord it was perfect)

ALWAYS! Revert back to the queen! The black woman who reminds me that there are roles in the world for me! Even if I have to sing I don't care! I'll do it!

So I roll into rehearsal today, it was a really shit day. Spilt my coffee in my bag and ruined my pottery books and lord I had had it!

But I let it rip in rehearsal when it was my turn to sing....at least I thought so.

The members of the family on the other hand who had been blocked to stand and dance and sing with the rest of us decided they weren't going to stand unless they felt inspired............

EXCUSE YOU ACTOR! 

YOU ARE AN ACTOR!

DO WHAT YOUR FUCKING TOLD!

And while you're at it TRYYYYYYYYY not to insult the entire cast who is giving it there all around you!

Ugh I've never been so insulted but luckily I kept my cool

and instead of me giving them a good kick the movement master damn near ripped them a new one!

and all I could think was justiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Which is wrong of me. But for serious. 

I'm not inspired by the song and I have to sing it.

You can at least stand your lazy ass up and dance.

peace out Madea is calling my name.