Engaged or Married

Soo I had a really depressing realization the other day
Everyone that I've ever dated is either engaged or married...
and I'm just over here twiddling my thumbs apparently.
Now if you want to be reasonable you could go "But come now Cecilly most of them are 3-5 years older than you. That puts them at 26 years old! That's a perfectly good time to start thinking about settling down"
....Well that didn't sound any more reasonable when I typed it out.
Married at 28, sure
26?
What is wrong with you! You just left 25! You're hardly an adult let alone ready to take on adult things like marriage!!
Even worse, a lot of them were married soon after they started going to university or graduated...2 of them married french girls though one was Parisian and the other from Montreal...weird
(this post is just becoming a realizations post)
3 Of them are getting married to the girl they dated right after me...
You might remember I told you all about my stupid ex from like grade 10/11 who continuously runs away from me (read about it in Encountering Exes) Well he still runs away from me which is ridiculous in itself
But apparently him and his girlfriend recently got engaged in September which everyone else had to tell me of course because we're not facebook friends...for obvious reasons like I tried to send his soul to hell with premarital sex (he's crazy catholic and maybe I should be grateful I didn't succeed)
I find it's even more awkward when he tries to run away with his fiance in tow!
Well more comical
Because she obviously has no idea what's going on.
Like what the hell am I going to do?
Summon a demon to destroy you? (would if I could ;))

But even more recently than that on the engagement calendar!
Remember Alfred!! The most perfect thing in my life last year? The reason my dishes never get done anymore!
Well if you recall in January, he went off with this girl Katleen (not like Kaitlyn. Literally Kat- Leen the fuck)
And I stood by going yes totally reasonable. She's much better suited for you!
Well I've heard it from a mutual source that he planned to propose to her Thanksgiving Monday! On the drive home near Duncan! Like flabbergasted am I!!
Do I think they're well suited?
Yes
But like...REALLY!?
No confirmation yet on whether or not that actually happened but it's pretty believable knowing Alfred...
So that's where I stand...
Over here.
Alone!

The only ex who's relationship status I don't know I think is either dead. Or probably has like 4 kids by now because he's that kind of white trash...or probably no children and alone because he's done too many drugs and now he's impotent....Who can really say?
No regrets there at least.

But of course if I stopped wollowing for a minute I would remember all the reasons I am alone, want to be alone,  choose to be alone and think damn girl, you're lucky...
But it's still depressing
I feel like that Dane Cook movie with Jessica Alba I think it is and every woman he sleeps with even that really gross really fat one gets married and all he wants is Jessica Alba but he doesn't want her to marry someone else....
Well maybe it's best they all marry someone else...
And I can continue my never ending quest to be a call girl!
AHAHA!
Peace out Blogpeeps

How to be Black by 27 White People

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
What a world I live in.
Well here's that first year welcome movie I said I'd upload

Anyways

So As you know I am in Skin of Our Teeth, basically because I'm black and I can sing.

That's fine. I knew that going in.

I had no idea what to expect from the director but whatever fly with it. 

And for a while it was going pretty well, there were a few awkward moments, a few hostile glances and mutters but we go on. 

Until last night

So we're supposed to be singing this gospelesque song and yeah it's probably the easiest. whitest. stomping john connors thing you've ever heard. And there's me getting all the flack for not setting the tone. 

Little did everyone know that they cast the whitest black girl in victoria to be in their show.

So instead of a nice little sing through the song rehearsal we had a long process of trying to get me into the right state of blackness. And instead of just having the 3 people who are most educated on this matter of black I've got 27 white people all giving me their input, telling me to sing out, feeeeeeeeel it, humming at me.

Well no shit it didn't get better. 

I left feeling pretty down. also having no idea who I am if I have any black spirit in me. 

So like all insane actors who for whatever reason dedicate themselves to the craft even when they feel defeated and alone....I researched.

I looked up every version of this god damn song I could find!

I put the best ones on my ipod! 

I WATCHED A QUEEN LATIFA MOVIE!!! (Joyful Noise. It's all about a Georgia church choir trying to win a singing contest lord it was perfect)

ALWAYS! Revert back to the queen! The black woman who reminds me that there are roles in the world for me! Even if I have to sing I don't care! I'll do it!

So I roll into rehearsal today, it was a really shit day. Spilt my coffee in my bag and ruined my pottery books and lord I had had it!

But I let it rip in rehearsal when it was my turn to sing....at least I thought so.

The members of the family on the other hand who had been blocked to stand and dance and sing with the rest of us decided they weren't going to stand unless they felt inspired............

EXCUSE YOU ACTOR! 

YOU ARE AN ACTOR!

DO WHAT YOUR FUCKING TOLD!

And while you're at it TRYYYYYYYYY not to insult the entire cast who is giving it there all around you!

Ugh I've never been so insulted but luckily I kept my cool

and instead of me giving them a good kick the movement master damn near ripped them a new one!

and all I could think was justiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Which is wrong of me. But for serious. 

I'm not inspired by the song and I have to sing it.

You can at least stand your lazy ass up and dance.

peace out Madea is calling my name.

First Year Party 2013

So you might remember last year when I posted this gem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66zRlxxWQxc
WELL IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!!!
The first year party is TONIGHT!!
Yes, the plan is to make another video while getting unabashedly wasted....unfortunately I have rehearsal til 6, the party starts at 9...
That gives about 2 hours to make and post a video!
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!
Priscilla, Aurora and Yvette (2nd year friend) will be recording the song and then we shall film compile and conquer in record tim!!
I'm so excited yall you have no idea!!
But first....
to my 8 hour rehearsal...

There's No A in Bingo

Ah yes.
Well I am in a play this fall it's called The Skin of Our Teeth by Thorton Wilder and though it is causing me a lot of pain to write this post to you because I have not at all been gentle on my body today I just felt like this beautiful thing needed to be shared.
So at one point in the play I am a Bingo Caller and we're reading along and I come to A-5 C-26 the next girl goes C-4 B-49
And we carry on completely unphased.....
however if you know how bingo works.
The numbers match with the letters that spell Bingo!
.....
There is no A or C in Bingo....but we didn't even notice.
It wasn't until we read it the second time that someone pointed this out...and then apparently there are RULES to bingo?!
Did you know this I had no idea.
the things you learn in theatre school!
will write something more interesting later.

The Burden of Being Single

Another Summer draws to a close and soon I will be safe on my island of singles awareness.
But NOT without one last rousing party at my uncles house to celebrate my cousins recent marriage....
It's weird how marriage instigates the talk and desire for more marriages.
Like I know my last post was all about wanting to go to marriage and hoping my Gnomes will invite all of us poor ditch folk to her countrychic wedding but that was other people getting married....I don't want to get married
But at a wedding reception, the old ladies get restless you know and alas pairing starts to happen.
It began for me with that guess who you are game where they stick celebrity names on your back and you have to guess who you are. Of course everyone is a couple. I originally was Angelina Jolie but I found the Brad Pitt who's name was really Brad , and his girl friend was Beyonce. So naturally I switched with them so I could be QUEEN B!
....but then I met my Jay-z. A very nice man, slightly older than me, he really resembled a tall hobbit all around perfect husband material except the no idea what he's doing with his life  which can be easily overlooked because he's RICH!
This was enough to bring out the long forgotten match maker in my mother. Bent and determined this woman did everything she could to insure we met each other (like we hugged when we realized we were paired which I thought was good enough but noooo).
She succeeded really easily because he went to UVic and I go to UVic sooooo there you go. Poor man I'm sure he had better things to do and cooler people to talk to though I was pretty damn cute tonight. But it just got me thinking of all those poor single people out there who are hounded after
My friend P-Bob is at a wedding tonight and there's a man there who looks like Alexander Skarsgard which is just like too freaking gorgeous for words right there, a real panty dropper. But her mother is going around trying to figure out if he's single.
Can you imagine being that man?
Having 50 something year old women running around and trying to find out your life story so that they can pass you off onto their single daughters?
How sad and tedious must your life be!
Of course everyone wants a man with a body and smile like ASkars but sometimes you just gotta step back and go is he worth it?
He could be beautiful but homeless like the guy on America's Next Top Model.
Beautiful, but I'd rather have a man who provides for my child not just attractive grandchildren that live in an abandoned box under the Portman Bridge!
Thank God in 7 hours I will be up and motoring to that ferry terminal so I can be surrounded by people in relationships who are too self absorbed to give a rats tail that I spend my weekends watching Pride and Prejudice with a bottle of wine!
<3

The Annual Reality Check Meeting

Long time no post hey?
Well I was going to post after Vegas and about travelling with friends and all that but it's Summer so I decided to let it lie. It's August now and school will be here sooner than later (thank god)! and the past few days have been such a rollercoaster that I thought I'd post a little something.
It started with what I'm coming to see as the annual reality check discussion with my father. I'm graduating this year so it was especially firm that come April the world will be a real thing. Jobs will be a real thing. Fun will never happen again. And as per usual my very real debt will be a very real problem.
Cue Annual Stressed Out All Nighter.
This summer I worked as a flagger. It was pretty great. I had a lot of fun. Met lots of really great people but it's not something I would be able to do without living at home. When I graduate I will not have a car or gas money, or even money for insurance which means I'll need to find something I can bus to which means like minimum wage which means I'll forever be poor because I'll only make enough money to pay rent and buy bus fares.
And the stress ball keeps rolling.
But then this morning I got a message which picked that roller coaster off it's tracks and put it on a more child friendly route with minor bumps and turns. One of my friends is dating this boy (whom I don't know) and in the message she wrote expect wedding invitations!
Now yes she totally could have been joking but I was reminded of a line in The Help

Once Miss Hilly had a baby, every girl at the bridge table had to have one, too.

But of course most babies don't happen until the girls get married! I am passing into the age when everyone starts getting married!!! And that makes me so happy! I love weddings, and pretty dresses and happy couples and crying!! And that's all about to start! And I'm ready for it! I need something to look forward to in all my debt misery!

Of course my mother had to ruin it with a "well none of your other friends have boyfriends. Besides you might think to get one yourself."
Yeah.
Right.
After all I went through last year, am I about to go husband hunting? No.
I'm still waiting for the message from Alfred letting me know in the politest way he can that he and his crazed girlfriend are getting married. I have no doubt it will arrive sometime before December if not in October.
No I  fancy myself after Skeeter

No babies...No man...And not lookin'.

Sometimes I think I'll end up like Jessa from Girls, who marries that guy from The IT Crowd/Bridesmaids, who was a total skeezeball at the bar but is rich, older, and can take her all over the world. She's using him and we all know it. Hell even if I knew I was using him I'd tell my conscience to peace out. I could go all over the world and the only catch is I'd have to be married to a creep.
Her last minute wedding wasn't that bad either.
I could do that.
But you know
Graduate first.
Think of all that other life stuff later.

Goodbye My Russian Soldier

A tragic time has befallen Victoria my friends.
Sergei, my Russian soldier, after months of deliberation and not knowing what the heck he wants to do with his life, has returned to Calgary.
Of course he's not really Russian, maybe like a 15th, he's more British and full of Rule Britannia pride. And he's for sures not a soldier, though while he was trying to decide what to do with his life he contemplated joining the air force. Luckily he didn't cause he would have been eaten alive and he's much too dainty for a soldiers life. But we saw this really messed up play in January where this mother kept calling her son her Russian soldier and it kind of just stuck.
Anyways, he's returned to his land of conservative voters, cowboys and oil sands to become more corrupt than he already is. And he's left me here to die with the hipsters.
No longer will I have someone to drink wine with on the couch as we watch Poirot and plan our victorian home as elderly people. (It was going to be super nice)
No longer will we walk down the street and people will ask if that was my boyfriend. Then which depending on the person I will either laugh because Sergei is as gay as the day is long or go along with it and be like YES AND I'VE NEVER LOVED A MAN MORE to insure that they leave me alone on the subject of relationships.
No, he hast abandoned me! Left me to suffer and to listen to everyone's pitiful problems on my own.
What is to become of me now!!!