Close and Suck!

Remember when I made that post about Breasts? Well today was an excellent fucking example of someone outside of their boob career path.
Women with large boobs should not be dental hygenists. The last thing I want to look at for an hour long appointment because the tv over my seat is broken is your boobs and wonder if I'm about to be smothered.
But that is not where my qualms with the dentists office begin.
They probably begin with the violent cleaning I give my teeth myself before going to get them cleaned.
I'm like my grandmother that way.
She pays someone to come clean her house but cleans everything before she gets there.

So I always arrive to the dentists office at about 2 minutes before the appointment in scheduled for.
I used to arrive earlier but you just sit waiting because they're never ahead of schedule and even when you arrive on time you still wait an extra 10 minutes to get in but if you're not there right at 11 someone calls to make sure you're coming!
It's not fair!
It throws my punctualness into a frenzy let me tell you!!!

So I arrive and I wait and there's no wifi and I don't want to turn on my data so I watch the same ad about botox a few times nnd think ew. And finally I'm sent in to this hygenist woman I've never seen before with boobs that are too big.
And I can't watch the tv like I normally would because it's broken so I stare at this woman's boobs and wonder if I'm going to die as she starts cleaning my teeth.
And I guess the tv in my ears used to block out the sound of the cleaner because seriously that high pitched sound as that thing goes across your teeth not only makes my nerves stand on edge but I'm like seriously losing my mind and it like hurts to have my teeth cleaned because I can hear it? I don't know but I just cringed the entire time.
And she was doing that thing where she tries to talk to you but there's hands and mechanical shit in your mouth and you're just like fuck lady shut up and clean!!!
and that sucker hose thing is getting a little too close to those loose bits underneath your tongue and just ow everything ow!
And then my dentist comes over whom I would just like to say here I NEVER agreed to.
One day a few, probably like 9, years ago my dentist up and sold his practice to this chinese woman. Like fresh, couldn't understand a word of her english chinese woman! And she is AWFUL! Like really she should practice dentistry on her self so that she can understand how much pain all her clients are in.
Last Christmas I had to get fillings done and she didn't even freeze half my mouth I nearly jumped out the fucking chair and punched her I was in so much pain!
But I restrained because I'm a good person.
So she comes over and she's like hmmmm you had braces and I'm like yeeeeeeeeeeeeees.
"well there's a gap in your teeth."
yes and the only way to fix that was to get braces again and it's not even that noticeable so no way in hell would I put myself through that process and hell again! Especially not as a grown woman with no dental. I wear the retainer that's all there is to it.

So I ran away as fast as I could from the dentists office.
Stopped for some chocolate milk which I couldn't drink right away from Extra Foods which continues to be the shittiest grocery store in Maple Ridge even after it was closed for like 4 or 6 years.

And because that medical is about to run out I booked all my appointments for one day and moseyed off to the eye doctor.

Now I used to hate the eye doctor.
A terrible place where they puff air into your eyes and blind you with flashes when you're looking at the little green dot in the center....
Well it's still got all that. And a new game where you click a button every time you see a shimmer (supposedly to check if you got glocoma) which is actually a lot of fun and I wouldn't mind playing again.
But I used to have this evil white man as an optometrist whom I never trusted. I still think I wore the wrong prescription for several years because this man would trick you with the line reading tests....also why don't they ever let your eyes adjust to the darkness!?
But they've gotten rid of him. Yes they have!

Now I know there are a lot of complaints about these minority doctors coming and taking the jobs away from the white people (i'm black if you've forgotten but have quite a lot of whiteness from my moms side) And I always expected to be one of those old ladies that refuse to be sent to retirement homes or go to the doctors because the white doctors are all gone and I just don't trust those asians (see my above comments on my shitty dentist if you think that's unfounded and racist)

But Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooord! you should see the man they brought up in this optometry office!
Now I'm not a huge fan of brown men, call me racist they've just never tickled my fancy. But the man they brought up the office yesterday was one fine piece of toasted caramel ass!
And he was funny. So funny and good looking I thought yes sir I could agree to bless the world with fair skinned, luscious haired, beautiful mixed children with this one!! He even has money. He's got it allllllllllllllllllllll.
Sign me up for the housewives brigade! Just call me Mrs. Harprinder Gill!

and I got some new glasses and I must say I look hella fine.