The Crisis Trip AKA AMURICA

Lordy lordy lordy
well my friends,
Anita and I have returned from the land of the free or whatever they like to call themselves or as we here in Canada like to call them AMURICA!
Yes we went on a brief little road trip. Just a quick 3 day little jaunt down to Portland, Oregon cause were hella cool like that!
And before my fellow Canadians yell sacriledge on me here for not going somewhere in Canada. I live in the lower mainland...my only option was really north or inwards towards Alberta and I am in no way ready to drive up the Coquhihala in winter let alone through the rockies.
So I went where we have like weather, a place I've visited many a time in my youth. Oregon.
Here are some golden moments from the trip:
1: Stopping for a McD's dinner in a little village right outside the national guard. All the stores were army uniform/supply related. There was a 1$ Chinese Food restaurant....chinese food should never be anything less than 10$ that stuff has got to be expensive to make. And it was called Wok Inn Wok Out...which you know maybe they just spelled in wrong...or maybe there are tiny compartments you can stay in over night in the back of the restaurant...the building was super tiny.
(there may have been other things between then and the hotel but I didn't have to drive anymore and got super tired)
2: Waiting 10 minutes at the hotel to check in because the front desk was left unattended by a woman named Doris...Doris who I swear never worked for more than 10 minutes at a time and was constantly outside smoking. They even had one of those bells you ring for service...it didn't work...we could have checked ourselves in because all the doors into the desk area were left open...
3: The first thing Anita and I whom are avid knitter/sewer/crafty people do is head to a place called The Fabric Depot...keep in mind we arrived on a Saturday night at 7:30pm. This place closed at 9...that would never happen in Canada. There were sales everywhere! IT WAS AMAZING! 75$ of fabric later we had our first purchase and it was only 8:30!
4: We made it all the way to Portland on one tank of gas because my mother's car is amazing...then Anita tried to put the gas station attendent out of work by pumping the gas herself at a full service gas station. And I turned the wrong way onto a one way street...luckily we figured it out before the cars came at us.
5: Woke up several times in the night thinking I had missed breakfast which ended at 9am. Finally when Anita got up I figured it must be late!
"What time is it!?" "3am." "Omg here I was worrying that I had missed breakfast!" But we were both just thirsty from ridiculously salty chinese food.

Day 2: SUNDAY FUNDAY SHOP HOPPING

1: The news claims that Lebron James is the best sports player in the world...This sets off a ridiculous amount of jokes about Lebron playing ridiculous sports: "Lebron is a master curler, he beat Team Norway all by himself. His arms are so long he throws and sweeps!"
At the boarder scenario "What's that long black thing sticking out the back of your car?" "Oh that's just Lebron James's arm he's hiding. Hide and Seek just got added to the Olympics?"
This is still going on.
2: We went looking for a store in a house dedicated specifically to socks...we got lost the first time but eventually we found it after several more bridge crosses! It was magical.
3: We ate at a typical American Diner in a mall that was massive...they had a skating rink too but we avoided that.
4: Went to Powell's Books...huge used book store! Bought several plays and ground my teeth as the obviously theater students in the next row over talked obnoxiously loud about nothing to do with books or the section we were in...they didn't buy anything I don't know why they were there. But I didn't yell at them because I thought that would be wrong to yell at others in my field.
5: We got back to our hotel that didn't seem too sketchy to our room door already open. Don't worry we weren't robbed. Guess room service just didn't close it properly when they left...they didn't have to clean but they did and put all our clothes away...don't worry we checked. all our underwear was still there.
6: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was on! I freaked out about Snape. We cried about having to go home. We had a grand time!

Day 3: BOO MONDAY
1: Because we realllllllly didn't want to go home we decided to take a nice scenic route home and by scenic I mean go completely out of the way to Tillamook! It's on the coast and we thought let's go to the cheese factory!

So we did. We tasted the cheese. We didn't buy any because we didn't know if it would make it back to Canada with us. We carried on.

2: Driving up and along the coast was great...until the gps told us to turn down a road to get to Astoria...oh we turned down that road. We were joking about hillbillies on the dirt roads...and what do we see.

Well he probably wasn't a hillbilly but he was a very creepy man. Standing by a driveway half hidden by some rocks and just standing with his hands behind his back looking hella creepy......we were like...yeah no....Found a place to turn around...He was still there on the way back and he was holding hedge clippers behind his back! It was terrifying! Like what the hell man! Are you the distraction so that your brother uncle can jump out at us down the road and we crash and you eat us!? We'll never know. We carried onto Astoria along the coast and it was lovely.

3: We ate lunch/breakfast in Astoria because we wanted the seafood. Anita did it right with a heaping platter of deep fried things. I had clam chowder and a taco omlette. Was great. Also listening to the greek people behind us were also hilarious. Talking about how they were going to split up property and where to put the dead bodies and maybe if Danny's girlfriend hadn't lied about her age they wouldn't hate her. Clearly Danny is either too old or too young to have a 17 year old girlfriend...great morning conversation. That and the fishermen at the next table. Great stop.

4: We carried on home up Highway 30. For those of you that know this route you'll know we drove basically 2 hours way out of the way. And then basically back to Portland to get up to Seattle. It was a long trip through nothing...dead mossy looking trees. I don't know how those people battle the seasonal depression cause there is nothing out there! We came to what looked like a millvillage called Wauna. On one side of the highway was the mills and such. And the only thing other than a house every mile or so was a big red barn with pictures of pole dancers in the windows! Clearly a strip club. On the side of the barn was painted U-Wauna....excellent name for a strip barn club thing....depressing town. But man I think it's just Oregon is really into that kind of thing! So many peepshows and the likes in Portland it was crazy. I was warned but not prepared!

5: We stopped for crafty things because we're crafty people and they're cheaper in the states.

6: We stopped for liquor and sent a 75 cent text to find out how much we could bring home! Anita's parents are cool like that.

7: We waited something like 2 hours in the border line up unhappy because some people are hella rude and find ways around the line and cut in! Hella. Rude. Yeah lady in the van who budged in and then didn't let the truck in front of you! I'm talking to you! I would have flipped you off but Anita was insistent on keeping the peace.

8:A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF THE ARROGANT WORMS BECAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN AND WE'RE WORTH IT!!!

So yeah it was a great trip. If I could change anything? 

I would become the person in charge of road signs for the entirety of the united states so that we could get a little consistency!

Oregon it's like sign over load! People need to watch the road too you know! I can't read everything that comes at me and not hit the people driving around me too! I don't need a reminder every .5 miles what the speed limit is unless it changes or theres an entrance. 

I don't need 3 bump a head signs and then a bump sign with an arrow pointed right at the bump. It's a little excessive

WASHINGTON HOWEVER COULD USE SOME FREAKING SIGNS! 

No wonder your drivers suck! You watch the toddle in and out. No one signals! They hug the freaking line around corners! 

There is never a sign for corner or turn or curve in the road ahead! And honestly I feel like, and I might be crazy here! But if you used one of those every now and then! Especially on the freeway where you've got this big swooping turns cause no one ever wants to build a straight road these poor washingtonians would not feel the need to come to a complete stop at every curve in the road! Were travelling down the freeway at 70(like 130km/h) and suddenly everyone comes to a dead halt! PEOPLE HIT PEOPLE! ITS DANGEROUS!

No regulations. It's very unsettling!

Anyways. We made it back. I have wine, clothes and plays. I think I'm good.

2 Giant Gnomes And A Traffic Cone In the Middle of the Freeway

Ok so I can post about it now since we're all figured out.
Yes, once again the Cadillac has taken a beating under my supervision.
P.Bob, Ernesta, Anita and I had gone to Vandusen Gardens because they made it all pretty with lights and stuff!
We had a grand time! Everything was pretty, it was a little cold but there were gnomes! giant gnomes from Scandinavia (via vancouver obvs) and they sang and danced and played guitar and it was awesome! And I fell in love obviously because what else could I want in my life than to be a gnomes wife and live in a tree stump and we could eat worms and stuff and it'd be really messed up but whatever.
If it were real it'd be great and you'd be jealous.

SOOOOO!
We were headed home, driving down the freeway like the super fly ladies we are. And I was crossing over to the lanes because I like the HOV lane but it was blocked off by all these traffic barrels and traffic cones and I was like oh darn I don't want this when I saw it!
A traffic cone lying in the middle of the driving lane.
It's one of those terrifying moments you know. Where all the scenarios of what you could do flash through your mind and you can't do any of them.
I look to my right. A car, can't hit that.
To my left. Traffic barrels, will definitely hurt the car more than the one coming at me.
Can I stop? No there's a car behind me they'll definitely hit me from behind.
There was no other choice.
So I ran over it.

Now the cadillac is a very low to the ground vehicle like there's just enough room for my foot to fit under it in the front. Why you would make a vehicle so low is beyond me it's probably to be aesthetically pleasing or something ridiculous
So we hit the cone and everyone's like omg! is it gone!? did it fly out from under us? no.
We're are dragging this cone with us...so we pull over and Anita being the great one and the most level headed of all of us gets it out from under the front of the car and we're standing there like the hell do we do now...and some workers slowly go driving by. But do they stop?
No. 2 helpless girls looking at this mangled cone going ermeygerd help and they don't stop...rude.
So there's a little damage, the bottom of the car is cracked where the solid end of the cone went under obviously.
It couldn't just be like one of those train grill things that push cows off the tracks. nooooo.
And this grating part that goes across the front of the car (also probably for looks) fell off when I got home....and we lost the front license plate which I think my mother was the most upset about.
But somehow we got home and I had to tell my parents because naturally we'd have to ring it in with ICBC or something. And I'm fully expecting my father to be upset about his baby...but he kind of just laughed...
"Cars are made to be broken"
...well no they're not. They're made to be driven and now and then get a little dirty but not to be broken...
Mother on the other hand, hysteria.
I think I've figured it out though. It's because dad is retired and none of the vehicles are in his name and he doesn't really pay for anything because all he has is his pension so everything is in mom's name. though only like maybe 1 in 3 of the car accidents that have happened have been her fault.
The sister totaled her car. A girl broke the bumper when I was parked at work. Dad destroys everything. The most mom gets are speeding tickets....but there was that time she backed into a light post in an empty parking lot, dented the truck and had to get the light post put back up.
But for the most part not her fault.
Anyways, it's all going to be fine. The car's going to get fixed. No one's died or injured.
And I'm still going to Oregon next week!
So a Merry Christmas is still up for grabs!
ttyl

And So It Begins....Again...

Well more deserving things have happened in the last 24 hours to be posted about but I'm going to write about this because it's fresh in my mind and annoying as hell all over again.
We'll find out the out come of other things soon and we'll go from there...
But tonight...
The first family get together of the Christmas Season....
My aunt's birthday which is apparently a tradition to order a ridiculous amount of chinese food and talk about 100 different subjects in 3 different groups at the same time...
It's noisy, it's weird, everyone feels bloated and grandma never listens when she's told not to order dinner for 30 people as we only get 15 out on a good day!
my grandparents had 5 children, 4 have spouses, all together they have 11 grandchildren, 2 are married, 4 maybe 5 (I never know about one of my cousins I don't even know where he is most of the time) have significant others, 1 great-grand child...a baby that can't eat chinese food.
WERE we to add all these people up not including the baby (you don't count until you make it to a year old) that would be a possible 28 or 29 (depending on the variable cousin) people to feed....almost 30 but that many people NEVER comes!
my one uncle and aunt live in Kamloops they're not coming down for every birth, birthday and funeral. We don't know where their son is most of the time. Their daughter makes it to about every other event...I guess this was an other.
My one cousin just got married over the summer and apparently that gives him an excused card from everything!
My sister can't be bothered to come to anything and she claims to be a vegetarian so she can't eat chinese food...though we all know she does when we're not looking...
My father doesn't come unless it's a big event or it's someone he actually likes being celebrated
And I usually have the safe excuse of being in Victoria.....oh but not today....
Today, and I think we can guess where this is going as per usual with family gatherings and what not what my posts generally end up being about....one of those cousins with a significant other took a place in the rarely used category of ENGAGED COUSINS!

Nooooo don't cheer shhh shh stop that clapping it's not good!

Now this cousin....he's  very strange... probably the strangest of the bunch and they're all a little bit weird
(maybe I should mention that this is all the white side of my family. I expect weird and unsettling from the blackside...they're all Caribbean and there's about 1000 of them.
No this cousin is strange...and the girl he's somehow persuaded to marry him seems to be completely normal. Insanely rich! but other than that....normal...
Why is she marrying my weird cousin you ask?
Lord I don't know. She must not be as normal as I think....or what is more likely she's surrounded by the mantra...

Yes she's falling for it! she's sad and lonely and she's settling which is crazy I mean she's rich and has a beautiful house and a hilarious 90 something year old grandmother whom for some reason everyone feels the need to yell at when they're communicating but the woman held a conversation with me across the living room and neither of us were shouting!
She's got hearing aids let her be!

Anyways so the announcement was made and of course all the old people cheered and clapped and bustled around to get champagne glasses and sparkling juice (because my family's classy like that...no one's ever been too drunk to function at a function) All the married people made jokes and started planning the dresses and flowers and ridiculous stuff.

But if you watched closely. You could see the shifty, who's next eyes.
The cousin just recently separated avoided everyone,
The two destined spinsters prepared to live vicariously through the fiances
The only not wed couple looked anywhere but at each other and settled for washing dishes and passing juice.
One aunt asked where IS your sister and her boyfriend, he's always so nice to have at these events?
"She's at work I think"
"Oh that's too bad. Well what about you? Have you found a boy in Victoria yet?"

TARGET HIT!

Yes, once again, I become the distraction from all the more likely bachelors and bachelorettes in the room. I mean they're not even that old yet! they have plenty of time to settle down! but my sister and I are the last strands of the generation, tie us up and off with someone and we can move onto worrying about the new generation and things like baby clothes and knitted booties and none sense!

I'm sitting here trying not to explode from the incredible amounts of chinese food I've just ingested. I don't need heart burn for my failures in the eyes of tradition as well!
Hell if it's such a problem just set me up in a marriage that I don't have to actually be available for. We can reconvene at family events!
How about that!!

....my life...why doesn't it make sense...
I willl now crawl into bed, fight with my sheets for a while because they're really a nuisance...and hope the snow falling outside doesn't stick...
goodnight.

Don't Grab and Pack

Oh hey,
So I'm back in the Ridge
It's thoroughly uninspiring as to be expected but I think this trip home might perhaps have given me some wisdom in the packing sector.
I packed in about all of yesterday.
The thought process being I would take all my laundry because I had about a week and a halfs worth  (my landlady's family is visiting and I didn't want to disturb them...or really have to talk to them as they're so friendly and I'm so dismal)
So I would bring all that and then just kind of pull willynilly things that I saw and thought mhm yes I'd wear that....
But I didn't really think about how long I would be in ridge.
I had the mindset of about a week when in actuality I could be here for 3 weeks....so I packed the amount that I would generally pack for a week which is a lot
And I thought I had packed all the manditory family gathering dresses....I did not. I remember I did not because I couldn't choose which ones I wanted and how fancy I would be expected to dress so I just left it.
Filled my bag with all the notes from piano and music theory I intend to burn...a lot of hair bows and earrings (most of which don't match what I brought home to wear) a scarf in all the essential colours...except for red...I have no idea where that scarf is unless it's hidden by another scarf back in Victoria...
So reasons not to pack the way I did.
1- My laundry was made up of mostly socks and underwear. There was one dress I refer to as my teacher dress because it has squiggles and stuff all over it that one would associate with a kindergarten teacher. 2 pairs of pajamas (one of which I'm probably not going to wear because they're so warm. And all the clothes I've been wearing while spray painting this past week. So like work yoga pants and shirts I don't care about, stuff I might wear to the gym....I will not be going to the gym while home much to my father's annoyance I'm sure.
2-I didn't pay attention to the colours I was packing....I have 5 burgundy/dark red shirts, tanktop and a blazer, 2 black and white shirts, 2 blue shirts and a cardigan, a green hoodie and a grey cardigan....not much selection there...not much acceptable mix and matching but let's be honest. I'm not trying to impress anyone in this town so I'll probs just dress like Christmas everyday.
3-All the underwear I own and only one bra....I don' tknow how that happened...definitely thought I had packed a black bra I mean it's essential right? Well I didn't. Just the red bra I put on this morning, the only one I brought. but I have probably 80% of my underwear drawer packed .
4-A bag full of socks...yeah I've probably got 95% of my sock drawer with me...I didn't realize it had been that long since I washed my socks and then I brought more! The only thing left behind are like sports socks, toe socks and dance tights....I don't wear those anyways.


....So yeah.
That's my dilemma at the moment.
I'm kind of hoping my parents will decide to go away for a few days which means I won't have to get dressed and look like I'm doing things.
I could go out and buy another bra but I really don't need to...
I brought nothing scandalous with me! not that we party in Ridge...well other people party but I find those people questionable and avoid them if possible...in the event someone were to want to go dancing or something that 'cool' people do...I guess I would have to go shopping (I know so tragic)
It's Christmas I'm supposed to spend on others and all I want is to spend on me!!!

Yes I feel like Wayne Brady's interpretation of Oprah's Favorite Things (1:40)
And that's that.
I'm sure something will happen in this hellmouth to post about later on........we can only hope

The Universe Has It's Own Plans

Oh Hey,
So are you ever, you know, moseying about in your own life, worrying about your own things but not really having any huge life altering crisis to deal with and so are actually fine when you're stressing the small things.
Yeah well that's been me for like the past 5-6 years.
No one's died, I haven't been robbed or anything.
Now and then I get into a friendship fight or something like Priscilla and I usually stop being friends from December-March (not this year though this year the friendship is strong).
Sometimes I have to remove friends entirely (it's only happened twice so it's not a huge thing)
Mostly I just walk around worrying about others who's lives are way more messed up than mine and debating on whether to watch The OC or Project Runway. To do homework or clean the house.
Trivial things.
But suddenly out of no where it's like the universe remembered I was over here and they were like "hmmm she's had it pretty easy for some time now...let's shake it up"
And like even then my issue is still a trivial issue it's just something I'm totally out of my element in and haven't had to deal with since like high school.
(still debating on whether or not to say what the issue is so I'll keep rambling)
So everyone's got their theories on how life works, who controls the universe, is it God/Fate/Spagetti and I have no idea if any or all of those things are correct. Sometimes I think people just worr about their destiny so much they force themselves onto one path.
I'm starting to believe it's more like Sims, I used to think it was like board games but I feel they've upgraded.
There's like 20 people just on the other side of the sky and they've created these towns and all the people inside them and now and then they get bored and they take their favorite characters to new places and build whole new towns.
Like the theory that the world stops when you're not in it, people kind of just power down. We go on autopilot when our maker person goes off to play in another world. Which apparently my maker has been gone for about 5 years and has just remembered us over here and was like "man, Cecilly seems so peaceful....let's fuck her up for a bit!"
Well it's working
(I'm not going to tell you)
What I will tell you is I have become obsessed with something. Something that I can not have, something that I don't even particularly like but I find the concept interesting enough that I want to learn more about it. Which I then realize I am doing and I go "no no Cecilly be reasonable! Pull yourself together! You are an adult!"
And I'm fine for about an hour before my mind wanders back to it.
And the Universe is like ahahaha and they start to put up things that remind me of it all around. At school, on the bus. I can be not thinking about it and something will pop up that reminds me. Or I will be thinking of it and it will appear right in front of me.
I would like to think I've acheived a special summoning power but that's doubtful. Instead I'm just going crazy.
It's like when you have a Sims love triangle and the user keeps trying to get the two not together to interact and the singleton starts falling more and more in love and the couple one is like omg no go away.
I don't know if Sims can kill themselves (i'm not going to kill myself keep reading) but the user is definitely on it's way to telling me to go swimming and then will remove all the ladders and then I will just drown in this!
It's really not fair
And it's trivial which makes it all the worst I think....
Oh well,
It's Christmas....worse comes to worse I'll start reading Fanfiction again....

WIIIIIIIIIIIIINOOOOOOOO!

Shouting from high places is my specialty and I climb  things so often it's amazing I'm not skinnier.
Welllll I guess not that amazing considering the amount I've been drinking this year.
Yes this term as definitely turned me into a Wino.
Courtesy of Sergei for helping me find a love of wine last year.
It's pretty sad though if you were to look at my kitchen table right now you'd see 3 wine bottles with levels varying from half a cup to half full.
Priscilla says don't worry, that wine is good for you.
But those doctors are talking a glass a day not a bottle a day.
Imagine all the money I'd save if I stopped drinking!
Well I'm probably not going to do that. I mean the only step I'm taking away from wine is putting me a step towards tequila tomorrow when the ladies and I sit down for a Holy Drunk Christmas and we'll be having margueritas because they fall into the green and red colour scheme.
Think I've got a problem?
I probably do but the way I see it, terms over.
And though I have another directing analysis due next term (possibly 2) they won't be nearly as hard now I've done one. And I won't have Skin rehearsals where I have to spend hours swaying back and forth, humming, hating my life, dealing with drama that has nothing to do with me.
Hell I might even start going to the gym more than one day a week!
starting....Tuesday?
I could go to the gym tuesday.
But I'm free everybody!
No final exams, no more pottery (until January) no more meetings or having to fake professionalism!
It's Christmas Break!
It's also freezing.
Like I live in Victoria for the balmy weather, never goes below 3 degrees, hardly rains.
Well the other day it was snowing. That was fucked up! luckily it didn't really stick because my winter boots are not that cute and I have no interest in wearing them.
Also I'm having to wear two pairs of gloves when I go out, especially standing on top of mount tolmie which I'm sure in another post I've mentioned is more of a slight hill than an actual mountain but is still really hard to climb when your freezing. But it's worth it!
Especially with all the Christmas lights up now!
Maybe I'll take a picture next time though it will probably come out all blurred and ugly. Doesn't hurt to try.
But anyways.
Back to my OC marathon.
You should start watching it again, it truly is fantastic and it's not just for girls I know a guy who is deeply committed to it right now and as far as I know he's not gay, a little macho and arrogant but there's ball of emotion just waiting to explode deep down there I know it!
tatafornow!

By The Skin of My Teeth

There had to be at least one blog post with that title.
I've only been living the play for 3 months.
But finally,
thank the heavens it's over!
The nightmare show from hell is over!
And not a moment too soon one more week and I'm sure we would have died.

I know ya'll think I'm being over dramatic but I'm not.
Life imitating art is what some people like to see it  as.....I see it as a curse when the actors in the cast start getting sick and not being able to go on stage.
I can't even begin to explain to you the plot of this show because it was long 2. 5 hours which is much too long for old people even with 2 intermissions.
The handy darts only run so long and around 10 is already past their bed times.
Also so much happened in the play, we referenced everything. The ice age, dinosaurs, the bible, whores and stuff just running rampant throughout this play but along with that was this subplot that actors in the company kept getting sick from some bad fish they all ate at dinner and the stage manager and asm had to stand in for them...
well shit wouldn't you know it!
I suppose it was a good thing that the show was double cast so that when one Gladys went down the other could step in! And there were so many extra people you know
the audience wouldn't even have noticed if it hadn't been for the guy playing the stage manager standing in to be the crow in act 1....the most demonic bird you'd ever heard!
But it was all good.
We made it through (by the skin of our teeth) and I'm NEVER! going to do that show again....unless someone offers me a large sum of money for it next time around.
Of course the drama didn't stop there oh no but I'll save those tasty tid bits for another night.
<3

Monitor Your PDA

Sooooo, I've said this a few times.....but there are days where I honestly feel like people are trying to kill me with their relationships.
For prior beliefs on crazies in relationships see:
Mamas Guide To Wooing 
Get Me to a Nunnery
Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend Yet
The Burden of Being Single

And like lord knows how many others on encountering my stupid and engaged ex who runs away from me but I feel like this is a slightly newer version of this topic.

If you are going to be in a relationship and you and your partner plan to be in public situations, especially around people you know and like
PLEASE GET ALL YOU FACE SUCKING NEEDS OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE YOU EXIT INTO THE REAL WORLD!!!!

Like it's just so gross.
Not to mention awkward
When you're all chillen before class or at a bus stop and these two people have somehow melted into one blob of slurping sounds and little I love yous no I love yous!
Like, STOP!
We're not interested?
If I wanted to watch that kind of mush I'd visit a high school.

Of course if you don't want to have a conversation with your friends then don't insert yourself, especially into the middle, of a group or conversation. Now there's this circle of awkwardness around you trying to be like omg should i look, i was going to ask her about the history homework but i guess I can wait, oh god please don't get on the bus with us!
Also, there's no where in the immediate victoria area that the buses from uvic won't get you in half an hour.... I'm sure you can wait half an hour. If you've really been apart that long all day that you can't not suck face then like go hide behind a tree for a bit and suck face til your bus comes, we'll call you and let you know that it's there but please SAVE US THE AWKWARDNESS!
Likewise if we wanted to suck face with either of you we probably would have beat your significant other to asking you out or else would walk away in this instant.
It's just these little moments of ignorance that tear people apart.
And suddenly you wake up one day and that significant other is gone and all your friends have gotten new phones and you don't have the number because they dread having to spent time with two goldfish that are stuck together at the lips.
Then what will you do
Where as if you had just been polite this wouldn't be a problem.
SAVE THE FRIENDSHIPS!

Engaged or Married

Soo I had a really depressing realization the other day
Everyone that I've ever dated is either engaged or married...
and I'm just over here twiddling my thumbs apparently.
Now if you want to be reasonable you could go "But come now Cecilly most of them are 3-5 years older than you. That puts them at 26 years old! That's a perfectly good time to start thinking about settling down"
....Well that didn't sound any more reasonable when I typed it out.
Married at 28, sure
26?
What is wrong with you! You just left 25! You're hardly an adult let alone ready to take on adult things like marriage!!
Even worse, a lot of them were married soon after they started going to university or graduated...2 of them married french girls though one was Parisian and the other from Montreal...weird
(this post is just becoming a realizations post)
3 Of them are getting married to the girl they dated right after me...
You might remember I told you all about my stupid ex from like grade 10/11 who continuously runs away from me (read about it in Encountering Exes) Well he still runs away from me which is ridiculous in itself
But apparently him and his girlfriend recently got engaged in September which everyone else had to tell me of course because we're not facebook friends...for obvious reasons like I tried to send his soul to hell with premarital sex (he's crazy catholic and maybe I should be grateful I didn't succeed)
I find it's even more awkward when he tries to run away with his fiance in tow!
Well more comical
Because she obviously has no idea what's going on.
Like what the hell am I going to do?
Summon a demon to destroy you? (would if I could ;))

But even more recently than that on the engagement calendar!
Remember Alfred!! The most perfect thing in my life last year? The reason my dishes never get done anymore!
Well if you recall in January, he went off with this girl Katleen (not like Kaitlyn. Literally Kat- Leen the fuck)
And I stood by going yes totally reasonable. She's much better suited for you!
Well I've heard it from a mutual source that he planned to propose to her Thanksgiving Monday! On the drive home near Duncan! Like flabbergasted am I!!
Do I think they're well suited?
Yes
But like...REALLY!?
No confirmation yet on whether or not that actually happened but it's pretty believable knowing Alfred...
So that's where I stand...
Over here.
Alone!

The only ex who's relationship status I don't know I think is either dead. Or probably has like 4 kids by now because he's that kind of white trash...or probably no children and alone because he's done too many drugs and now he's impotent....Who can really say?
No regrets there at least.

But of course if I stopped wollowing for a minute I would remember all the reasons I am alone, want to be alone,  choose to be alone and think damn girl, you're lucky...
But it's still depressing
I feel like that Dane Cook movie with Jessica Alba I think it is and every woman he sleeps with even that really gross really fat one gets married and all he wants is Jessica Alba but he doesn't want her to marry someone else....
Well maybe it's best they all marry someone else...
And I can continue my never ending quest to be a call girl!
AHAHA!
Peace out Blogpeeps

How to be Black by 27 White People

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
What a world I live in.
Well here's that first year welcome movie I said I'd upload

Anyways

So As you know I am in Skin of Our Teeth, basically because I'm black and I can sing.

That's fine. I knew that going in.

I had no idea what to expect from the director but whatever fly with it. 

And for a while it was going pretty well, there were a few awkward moments, a few hostile glances and mutters but we go on. 

Until last night

So we're supposed to be singing this gospelesque song and yeah it's probably the easiest. whitest. stomping john connors thing you've ever heard. And there's me getting all the flack for not setting the tone. 

Little did everyone know that they cast the whitest black girl in victoria to be in their show.

So instead of a nice little sing through the song rehearsal we had a long process of trying to get me into the right state of blackness. And instead of just having the 3 people who are most educated on this matter of black I've got 27 white people all giving me their input, telling me to sing out, feeeeeeeeel it, humming at me.

Well no shit it didn't get better. 

I left feeling pretty down. also having no idea who I am if I have any black spirit in me. 

So like all insane actors who for whatever reason dedicate themselves to the craft even when they feel defeated and alone....I researched.

I looked up every version of this god damn song I could find!

I put the best ones on my ipod! 

I WATCHED A QUEEN LATIFA MOVIE!!! (Joyful Noise. It's all about a Georgia church choir trying to win a singing contest lord it was perfect)

ALWAYS! Revert back to the queen! The black woman who reminds me that there are roles in the world for me! Even if I have to sing I don't care! I'll do it!

So I roll into rehearsal today, it was a really shit day. Spilt my coffee in my bag and ruined my pottery books and lord I had had it!

But I let it rip in rehearsal when it was my turn to sing....at least I thought so.

The members of the family on the other hand who had been blocked to stand and dance and sing with the rest of us decided they weren't going to stand unless they felt inspired............

EXCUSE YOU ACTOR! 

YOU ARE AN ACTOR!

DO WHAT YOUR FUCKING TOLD!

And while you're at it TRYYYYYYYYY not to insult the entire cast who is giving it there all around you!

Ugh I've never been so insulted but luckily I kept my cool

and instead of me giving them a good kick the movement master damn near ripped them a new one!

and all I could think was justiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Which is wrong of me. But for serious. 

I'm not inspired by the song and I have to sing it.

You can at least stand your lazy ass up and dance.

peace out Madea is calling my name.

First Year Party 2013

So you might remember last year when I posted this gem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66zRlxxWQxc
WELL IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!!!
The first year party is TONIGHT!!
Yes, the plan is to make another video while getting unabashedly wasted....unfortunately I have rehearsal til 6, the party starts at 9...
That gives about 2 hours to make and post a video!
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!
Priscilla, Aurora and Yvette (2nd year friend) will be recording the song and then we shall film compile and conquer in record tim!!
I'm so excited yall you have no idea!!
But first....
to my 8 hour rehearsal...

There's No A in Bingo

Ah yes.
Well I am in a play this fall it's called The Skin of Our Teeth by Thorton Wilder and though it is causing me a lot of pain to write this post to you because I have not at all been gentle on my body today I just felt like this beautiful thing needed to be shared.
So at one point in the play I am a Bingo Caller and we're reading along and I come to A-5 C-26 the next girl goes C-4 B-49
And we carry on completely unphased.....
however if you know how bingo works.
The numbers match with the letters that spell Bingo!
.....
There is no A or C in Bingo....but we didn't even notice.
It wasn't until we read it the second time that someone pointed this out...and then apparently there are RULES to bingo?!
Did you know this I had no idea.
the things you learn in theatre school!
will write something more interesting later.

The Burden of Being Single

Another Summer draws to a close and soon I will be safe on my island of singles awareness.
But NOT without one last rousing party at my uncles house to celebrate my cousins recent marriage....
It's weird how marriage instigates the talk and desire for more marriages.
Like I know my last post was all about wanting to go to marriage and hoping my Gnomes will invite all of us poor ditch folk to her countrychic wedding but that was other people getting married....I don't want to get married
But at a wedding reception, the old ladies get restless you know and alas pairing starts to happen.
It began for me with that guess who you are game where they stick celebrity names on your back and you have to guess who you are. Of course everyone is a couple. I originally was Angelina Jolie but I found the Brad Pitt who's name was really Brad , and his girl friend was Beyonce. So naturally I switched with them so I could be QUEEN B!
....but then I met my Jay-z. A very nice man, slightly older than me, he really resembled a tall hobbit all around perfect husband material except the no idea what he's doing with his life  which can be easily overlooked because he's RICH!
This was enough to bring out the long forgotten match maker in my mother. Bent and determined this woman did everything she could to insure we met each other (like we hugged when we realized we were paired which I thought was good enough but noooo).
She succeeded really easily because he went to UVic and I go to UVic sooooo there you go. Poor man I'm sure he had better things to do and cooler people to talk to though I was pretty damn cute tonight. But it just got me thinking of all those poor single people out there who are hounded after
My friend P-Bob is at a wedding tonight and there's a man there who looks like Alexander Skarsgard which is just like too freaking gorgeous for words right there, a real panty dropper. But her mother is going around trying to figure out if he's single.
Can you imagine being that man?
Having 50 something year old women running around and trying to find out your life story so that they can pass you off onto their single daughters?
How sad and tedious must your life be!
Of course everyone wants a man with a body and smile like ASkars but sometimes you just gotta step back and go is he worth it?
He could be beautiful but homeless like the guy on America's Next Top Model.
Beautiful, but I'd rather have a man who provides for my child not just attractive grandchildren that live in an abandoned box under the Portman Bridge!
Thank God in 7 hours I will be up and motoring to that ferry terminal so I can be surrounded by people in relationships who are too self absorbed to give a rats tail that I spend my weekends watching Pride and Prejudice with a bottle of wine!
<3

The Annual Reality Check Meeting

Long time no post hey?
Well I was going to post after Vegas and about travelling with friends and all that but it's Summer so I decided to let it lie. It's August now and school will be here sooner than later (thank god)! and the past few days have been such a rollercoaster that I thought I'd post a little something.
It started with what I'm coming to see as the annual reality check discussion with my father. I'm graduating this year so it was especially firm that come April the world will be a real thing. Jobs will be a real thing. Fun will never happen again. And as per usual my very real debt will be a very real problem.
Cue Annual Stressed Out All Nighter.
This summer I worked as a flagger. It was pretty great. I had a lot of fun. Met lots of really great people but it's not something I would be able to do without living at home. When I graduate I will not have a car or gas money, or even money for insurance which means I'll need to find something I can bus to which means like minimum wage which means I'll forever be poor because I'll only make enough money to pay rent and buy bus fares.
And the stress ball keeps rolling.
But then this morning I got a message which picked that roller coaster off it's tracks and put it on a more child friendly route with minor bumps and turns. One of my friends is dating this boy (whom I don't know) and in the message she wrote expect wedding invitations!
Now yes she totally could have been joking but I was reminded of a line in The Help

Once Miss Hilly had a baby, every girl at the bridge table had to have one, too.

But of course most babies don't happen until the girls get married! I am passing into the age when everyone starts getting married!!! And that makes me so happy! I love weddings, and pretty dresses and happy couples and crying!! And that's all about to start! And I'm ready for it! I need something to look forward to in all my debt misery!

Of course my mother had to ruin it with a "well none of your other friends have boyfriends. Besides you might think to get one yourself."
Yeah.
Right.
After all I went through last year, am I about to go husband hunting? No.
I'm still waiting for the message from Alfred letting me know in the politest way he can that he and his crazed girlfriend are getting married. I have no doubt it will arrive sometime before December if not in October.
No I  fancy myself after Skeeter

No babies...No man...And not lookin'.

Sometimes I think I'll end up like Jessa from Girls, who marries that guy from The IT Crowd/Bridesmaids, who was a total skeezeball at the bar but is rich, older, and can take her all over the world. She's using him and we all know it. Hell even if I knew I was using him I'd tell my conscience to peace out. I could go all over the world and the only catch is I'd have to be married to a creep.
Her last minute wedding wasn't that bad either.
I could do that.
But you know
Graduate first.
Think of all that other life stuff later.

Goodbye My Russian Soldier

A tragic time has befallen Victoria my friends.
Sergei, my Russian soldier, after months of deliberation and not knowing what the heck he wants to do with his life, has returned to Calgary.
Of course he's not really Russian, maybe like a 15th, he's more British and full of Rule Britannia pride. And he's for sures not a soldier, though while he was trying to decide what to do with his life he contemplated joining the air force. Luckily he didn't cause he would have been eaten alive and he's much too dainty for a soldiers life. But we saw this really messed up play in January where this mother kept calling her son her Russian soldier and it kind of just stuck.
Anyways, he's returned to his land of conservative voters, cowboys and oil sands to become more corrupt than he already is. And he's left me here to die with the hipsters.
No longer will I have someone to drink wine with on the couch as we watch Poirot and plan our victorian home as elderly people. (It was going to be super nice)
No longer will we walk down the street and people will ask if that was my boyfriend. Then which depending on the person I will either laugh because Sergei is as gay as the day is long or go along with it and be like YES AND I'VE NEVER LOVED A MAN MORE to insure that they leave me alone on the subject of relationships.
No, he hast abandoned me! Left me to suffer and to listen to everyone's pitiful problems on my own.
What is to become of me now!!!

Kim's Nightmare

Sooooo as some of you know I'm going to be an asian whore in the upcoming production of Miss Saigon in Victoria (It opens this week)
And you may have read all the way back to when I was taking pole dance lessons and all I wanted was to be a call girl.
For reals, being a whore is my calling next to singing and acting.
So when I got in Miss Saigon I was ecstatic! I mean there's only 1 and a half actual asians in the show and I'm black but I figured I look more asian than all the white people. So yes stoked! I was going to be a whore!
But every step of the way to my whoredom has been a struggle. Yes I get to be a whore but I am the most reserved nunish looking whore you've ever seen.
See we have this costume designer.
He makes great show girl pieces.
Fine.
But man does he have a hate on for fat girls.
There's me, another girl (who has slimmed down significantly during this run) and an old lady and we're all in traditional, pretty sure they're chinese, dresses for this bar scene.
Do I feel like a whore?
No.
All he did to make it more whorish was raise the skirt....so when I lift my arms above my head the whole dress goes up and my bottom is definitely exposed. Don't worry, I'm wearing underwear on top of my tights.
So yeah. Naturally we feel like shit as every other girl in the scene is walking around in bras, panties, lingerie, bathing suits. Completely exposed!
And they complain about it!
They complain about being uncomfortable.
They complain about the me being creepy and gross. (Some of them are but the rest are acting that's why we're here)
Of course, I'm the only girl in the show with actual pole dance experience but instead of getting up and working the pole I'm made into a vendor.
A vendor with a very ill fitting shirt.
And during The American Dream, while everyone is either in show girl 2 pieces or form fitting dresses this man took a sheet of fabric. cut a whole in the middle and glued some stars on it!
I am wearing a drape, literally.

It really sucks you know, when you give up a lot of your time and put a ton of hard work into something only to be treated like shit and given low self esteem.
Naturally the costume guy has not yet insulted me directly as I would tear him a new one. But some of the things he's said to the other girl are just unacceptable.
If I could I would just switch out his dresses for lingerie of my own, he probably wouldn't even notice since he doesn't focus on us. But I'm not going to bother. We're almost to opening.
There's no point in getting worked up now.
On the other hand, I'm getting my hair dyed black so I don't have to wear a wig....
The joys of theater continue.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

I have some spare time here and I'm not really sleepy so I'd like to address a little something.
Yes! I the great Cecilly turned 21 in February.
NO! It is not my time to settle down!!
I feel like I may have already made this comment in another blog post but it's true and thus I must repeat it.
It seems to me that when you hit 3rd year of post-secondary everyone starts to think it's time to settle down into a serious relationship. Sure, soon you'll be trekking off into the real world and having to find a job and all that none sense and clearly the only way you'll be able to do it is if you have the support of your college/university significant other. How pathetic!
If you wanna claim that you're in love, fine be like that and go for it but do not pass your crazy on to me.
I feel like my life is becoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding and everyone is whispering behind me as I work hard about why I'm single, why I can't get a man, when I'm going to get married because I'm starting to look old...
thaaaaaaaaaaaanks
Victoria is a hot bed of people desperate to settle down. The land of Newly Wed and Nearly Dead right!?
Well come 3rd year everyone starts looking to fit in that Newly Wed category and it doesn't make sense to me.
Of course to my face everyone's like Ya Cec, you're a real strong independent black woman. You don't need no man to tell you what to do
....
Well no, I don't need a man to tell me what to do...and I hope, here in 2013, no women do. We are individuals you know. You, the person you are, originated from the fastest, toughest sperm that out swam all the other sperm and managed to penetrate some giant egg with toxins trying to kill you.
If after all that hard fucking work you're going to just lie down on some train tracks because a man tells you to then there's a real problem here!
You know, I never said I didn't want a man. Never said I would never get married. I would very much like to have a wedding where I get to wear an awesome dress and everyone comes to cheer my awesomeness on...and if there's a man beside me there then so be it. But I do not have time for men!
One of my teachers tried to explain to me the process of relationships because everyone was pairing up and I was standing around in the middle of it all being what the heck why? We have work to do people!
She explained it a little like this.
You work and work to get the person you want, or just walk up and ask (apparently you don't even have to know each other to start a relationship these days) and when that person you want says yes, you work some more to impress them and show them how awesome you are and all the positive attributes they should see as very impressive and worth keeping you around.
THEN you enter into serious dating time (or what you think is serious) this is called the honeymoon phase.
You shut off all communication with the real world, no need to talk to your friends and just dedicate yourselves 24/7 to this new love of your life. You may take an hour of each day for homework if it is absolutely crucial........
(seems a little fucked up to me)
And then after 2-3 months of this honeymoon gooshy nonesense when everyone has had enough of you and have decided to stop inviting you places you become normal humans again only normal humans that have to spend AT LEAST 1-2 hours everyday in contact with your significant other. But now you can take your friends back.
I thought to myself that this is all very much like highschool but I'm coming to realize that everything is like high school. Sorry to tell you but the rest of your life is going to be clicks, bitch fests, drinking like teens, and dedicating yourself full heartedly to your loved ones.
....
I can't freaking wait.

When Nuns Retire

Sooooo...
Remember way back when and I wrote that blog post about wanting to run off and become a nun?
I've changed my mind!
I've been learning a lot about nuns in the past month and let's get real. It's not for me.
First you have to like pledge yourself to God.
Then think about being a nun for like 4 years (one of those years you have to take a vow of silence!!!!)
Then you're like "yeah I still wanna be a nun"
AND THEN YOU MARRY GOD!!!!!!!
The whole reason I was going to join the nunnery was to avoid relationships!!
I don't want to get married to GOD!?!
Let alone spend a year silent...so that won't be happen.
Plus I just learned all about nun retirement.
Let me explain!

So as a theater department we have a props shop. And recently this beautiful living room set was donated, like the couches you would see in a Pride and Prejudice sitting room!
And I asked my Gumpette who works in props where it came from....And she said "A retirement home for nuns"
....
LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT HERE PEOPLE!!
NUNS!
DON'T!
RETIRE!

They do not! you can argue it out with me but I've had a lengthy discussion with several people and it's just not done!
Being a nun is a full time job. Every breath. Every waking moment that these nuns are alive are dedicated to being nuns!
They pray. They walk around thinking about their husband God. They do the nunnery version of housework. You know working in the garden and cleaning tables and painting bedrooms and what not. And they do this until they die!!
Yes you're right... nuns get old just like normal people. But when this happens, the just go chill in the nunnery hospital or go to The Building Where Nuns Go To Die Home (or Nun Hospice my friend likes to call it) but this is by no means! In no way! A retirement home!!!
Believe you me those nuns are stillllllll praying! Until they kick it!

And this is why nuns don't retire:
THEY CAN'T!
Think about retirement. When most people retire they have a fair amount of money saved up, they get a pension, they wake up at home one day and just don't have to go to work. They might putter around their garden, sit on the porch and drink lemonade, and pretty much just live off their retirement money until they die or have to find a new job or go poor.
Nuns can't do that because they work for free! Or the love of God if you prefer. But they in no way make any money. They garden all the time, take time to do other things and pray some more.
But if the nun wanted to retire and decided to collect up her life savings and peace out to a home that doesn't exist outside the nunnery she'd have a pretty freaking difficult time! Let me tell you!
She has no money so she can't buy a house, can't buy food, has been gardening for hella eva! She'll be out on the streets in no time!
Which is why they keep you in the Nun Hospice when you're too old to garden so that you can pray in bed until finally you can 'retire' AKA DIE! and go hang out with God.
That's retirement! Finally getting to be with your husband after years of servitude.
(Sucks if you ask me)
And the only way you can stop being a nun is if you
A) get kicked out like Maria in The Sound of Music because she's too happy and sing songy to be in the nunnery they send her off to go become the mother of some captain's 7 kids.
B) Leave/Run away like Audrey Hepburn in The Nun's Story. Which  Walt assure me ends with Hepburn walking down an alley way and not going to hell for her betrayal.

So thanks no thanks.
I will deal with the idiots of the planet, continue speaking, and avoid nunneries.
They're just not for me.

Stress Fractures

Oh hey world,

Clearly I have no interest in being on top of things right now so I'll just post in my blog instead of doing those stressful things.

So the past few days I've been apprenticing at a theater here in Victoria. And you know how when you get a new job you feel like you should be doing something, proving your worth....but there's like literally nothing for me to do so I just kind of stand. FOR HOURS!

The other night was opening and there were all these opera people around. I will tell you now, opera audiences are the worst most snobby above anyone else audience people you'll ever meet. Yes they applaud wildly, they give the act of watching opera their all. But they can just be soooooo rude and snippity. Anyways, so for opening night I basically stood for 12 hours. In heels, flat heels mind you that are usually very comfy but on this occasion decided to take me out.

My feet feel like all those snooty opera goers looked at little apprentice me standing in the corner and went

over and over and over again.

So me and some smart dancer type people have concluded that I probably have stress fractures in my feet. I can't even begin to explain the pain. It's constantly throbbing and I've made sure to stand as little as possible today. 

I've taken to pushing myself around my basement suite by using only my heels on my rolling chair. I kinda look like this

Only I'm super tired so I'm going much slower and some of my floor is carpeting so I kind of just hit that and stop. I just want my feet to stop hurting, massaging them hurts, stretching them hurts, wiggling my toes hurts. Pretty much everything hurts them accept heat packs and bubble baths.

And it's like people know my feet are super messed up so they're going around making my life as difficult as possible.

I went on a field trip today for my first year english class...to the library...the place where I work. And this dreary man who really knew nothing about the library tried to educate me and then made me walk down and back up the flights of stairs! Naturally I went to my teacher before this tour and was like "oh hey I work here, please don't make me go on this tour!" and he was like "NOPE! We're gunna have fun!" But all we got were some nasty glares in the silent area.

It doesn't help that last night closing at the library this rude kid wouldn't leave and then I'm pretty sure was hiding and now I don't even know if he actually left after I thought he left. He could have just come back upstairs when I was on a different floor! 

AND IT'S SO RUDE! People have no regard for me as a human, they just have this stupid goal of staying in the library over night which I can't image would be any fun at all. So my feet hurt more and more.

Now I have to go find some comfortable shoes to wear for the rest of march for this apprenticeship so my feet don't break.

I also have a ton of homework I have no interest in doing and won't be doing because I'm going to bed as soon as I finish writing this. My milk is going to go bad tomorrow which means I have to get more

and it's all just too much!

I need a caregiver! My friend Monica seems to think I just need a boyfriend but in my experience they generally don't do anything of use when you need them. No I need a caregiver. Someone to wash my dishes and make me food and hell, straighten my hair for me because my arms are too tired to reach.

Maybe I'll go over to the nursing department and ask if anyone needs some work experience (unpaid of course)  It would definitely make my life easier.

Right now I feel like this

Night!

Lady Fails

Why hello!
Do you know what day it is?! It's Alan Rickman's birthday mothafucka! Yeah! So happy birthday to this attractive old man! (He's 67) No cares! I love him sooooo much!

So now that I've got those out of they way.

A little house cleaning before I actually start.

I said I would send you my birthday present pictures

My Gnome soap that I will probably keep nailed to my wall forever

My nipple, still nicely wrapped atop my cupcake pyramid...all of which have been eaten

And my british hat cheesecake!

Twas a good birthday!! <3 

Valentine's happened (a regular waste of a day if you ask me!) But we did slave for a day auctions. Yours truly was sold for 22$ Pretty freaking good if you ask me!!!

And even better Sergei bought me so that I could make him dinner and clean his dishes and then watch Poireaux and drink wine like the old british couple we are! And of all the things he could have chosen for me to make him...he chose quesidillas...Hella easy to put together but a nightmare to flip! 

But it was still delicious!

He was the proudest slave master I ever had! <3 

Alright! so now that that's out of the way.

It's reading break people! I hate reading break! It's literally a week of me going crazy because I hate my homework and all my friends are busy and the ones that aren't like aren't even my friends anymore so I have no reason to hang out with them! It is soooo annoying!

Which means I have countless hours to scroll tumblr instead of doing homework which means I'm bombarded by things like 

 THIS IS NOT OK PEOPLE! SHE IS THE ANTI-CHRIST! 

....sigh humanity.

But now the point of this post is my lady fails. So if you're squeamish about periods or hella anti-allthingswomanproblems leave.

Have you gone?

Good.

So the last 3 periods of mine I think i've just been really freaking lazy. I ignore all the signs that it's coming, I eat a bunch of nachos, I don't carry around feminine supplies just in case. The laziest lady you'll ever meet. 

Luckily for me last night I was like damn my ovaries hurt...that can only mean one thing! So I got home and ate the rest of my birthday cake which was kind of gross but totally worth it and pms Cec has no regrets! 

Then it actually clicked that I was actually on my period and should probably do something about that unless I wanted to build an arc to traverse a woman made red sea in my living room.

But to be honest. I was on top of this period. Last time I went for like 5 hours being like I don't even care! I hate being a woman! you can not hold me down body!! And just neglected all the things and went for work and walked around for 3 hours. Which was the most excruciating thing. 

My shins always get super achey and if I have to stand for long periods of time I need advil or something but not this time. I was just rebelling. 

Sigh.

If you're reading you're probably like what the heck is this woman doing with her life.

Nothing.

I'm literally doing nothing.

I read my opera pages. I looked at my english. I tried to care about my writing homework. Nothing. 

Leave me to die! I'm going to get the ice cream!

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To.

Soooo yeah,
It was my birthday today.
Normally for my birthday, or at least last year, I lie in bed and cry about making it 2 decades, being legal in Canada and having nothing interesting to live for anymore.
I mean first year of university I turned 19. I got up in the morning and started drinking legally. Went to the liquor store at 11 am when it opened and bought alcohol legally. Ate German food (which isn't illegal but it was damn good!)
...then last year I turned 20. It was miserable. Nothing to live for. 2 decades alive on earth and I haven't accomplished anything of worth. I go to theater school, will I even have a career when I graduate. Freaking depressing man! And my birthday was on the Sunday before reading break so there was absolutely no reason for me to leave my pit of despair (aka bed) except for rehearsal which I went to and then came back home and cried some more.
I figured I would do very much the same thing this year but...I guess things have changed. 21 wasn't terrible. And yeah everyone's like GO TO AMERICA AND DRINK AND BUY CHEAP ALCOHOL! ...but it's like 50$ to take the ferry down to Seattle and back. what a waste just for alcohol I can buy here.
Recently however, I've been going to a friend's house for mexican mondays, where we just eat mexican food on a monday, gossip, meet new people and such. My friend went off to Uruguay 2 weeks ago but I've still been going. Now I'm friends with her roommates and she's freaking awesome! Last night there was just 6 of us there so we were drinking wine.
I'm pretty sure I told you about my last wine drinking experience with Walt  and that didn't end well. But we were drinking red wine last night and maybe that made all the difference. I had an excellent night. We voted people off the tropical island we were deserted on. We planned to go camping for reading break (I don't know if it'll actually happen but I would like to do something). I made new friends! It was a great night and I didn't think I was drunk at all!.....until I got home and lied down. Then the world started to spin. And I woke up this morning and I was definitely still drunk.
But Gumpette bought me some caramilk liqeur so I just put a little in my morning coffee and was set to go!

Yes I've just been slightly drunk all day.

But I think where the huge difference from the last two birthdays to 21 was that when I opened my bedroom door this morning there was no one waiting on the other side to pounce me. or throw streamers. or sing!
It was just me. I made myself breakfast. Got dressed for school not for some special day. But it was great! Sergei and I watched Aladdin, drank mimosas and ate nachos. We had free church dinner! AND THEN!

Aurora got me a soap-on-a-rope gnome! GNOME  SHAPED SOAP! like WHAT?!?! ridiculous but I love it! but I'm not gunna use it! It now hangs in my bathroom. I'm probably going to have to name it...
She also got me...a boob! and I was looking at it completely confused until I saw the nipple! Modern art man! It's weird shit! But I love it!
Next blog I'll take a picture of them and put em up here because they're too good not to be shared!
And this girl, I swear to god she keeps me sane! I don't know what i would do without her! This girl goes and buys me a cheesecake! not a slice! A WHOLE CHEESECAKE!! Luckily I had people to share it with otherwise I would have died. And even though she'll rant that it wasn't the right kind she ordered it was still delicious.
I'm just gunna finish this night off with a bath! and I am just so happy.
So happy birthday to me. Maybe next year I'll even let other people in on it. Though I'd like to point out that only 56 of my 652 friends on facebook wished me happy birthday. I mean really!
...I honestly have no idea who those other 596 are anyways....oh well.

Goodnight!

My Love is too Beautiful to Have Thrown Back in My Face

This post will not be happy because I am not happy.
It happens.
No, it's not because February is the month of depression. It's not because February is 'Black History Month' (which is bullshit I don't need brought up). It's not because I have to turn 21 in a week.
It's partly because of this movie For Colored Girls which is based off of this choreopoem play. I thought I knew pain before this movie but watching it feels like the slow tearing of your soul. Is it because I'm black that I can relate to this? No I don't think so because if you've read my other posts about my interactions with other black people you've probably picked up that I'm seriously white washed in many ways.
Something about women struggling, loss, abuse. It gets me.
If we're honest, this is the kind of thing I would have watched and then called Alfred over because I was in such a ridiculous state of sobbing...and he would have stood there going omg what do I do but with ice cream...
So I caved today and bought my own ice cream. I wasn't going to. I haven't bought ice cream since before christmas because it was egg nog flavored and I could not pass up that opportunity!
But yeah, I miss Alfred I guess. Which probably shouldn't be new info. Just a lot of things have happened in the course of a week. Just the craziest things that 1-make no sense, 2-shouldn't happen, 3-I have no desire to deal with.
So naturally I've been ignoring...most of these things.
One thing I'll tell you about I could not ignore.
My friend has been insisting that I go on a date with this guy from her office for sometime and since I no longer hang out with Alfred she decided it was time for a little blind date...and I guess I ran out of excuses not to.
He was a very nice guy, nice that he has an actual job, nice that he has his own place, and his own friends...but I still don't date. Nor do I want to. Which of course was really awkward to explain but he seemed to have taken it alright...my friend's definitely going to kill me though when she finds out. Hopefully she doesn't find out for a few days.
Luckily I still have Sergei, which you know I just realized I have never told you about. He is my best guy/gay friend, not that that's how I should identify my friends to people but...it's easiest...Jude would kill me if she knew. Anyways I'll call him Sergei because he's super into all things British and his regal ancestry but he was also Russian and very proud of that as well. Sergei seems Russian and regal so it'll do I think. Anyways, we've been hanging out because he's come to his senses recently and doesn't want to go into poli sci but is going back to Calgary next year so he's just taking whatever courses right now which means he has plenty of free time to spend with me...where we drink, gossip, and watch Poireaux (the agatha christie detective, it's super good) Saturday night was a friend's birthday so we got suuuuuuuper drunk and I ate a fondue bowl of chocolate. No regrets, chocolate is the best. And then my lovely boy made me food the next morning, just perfect.
So I guess I'm not totally miserable, still miserable but things have the potential to look up. I just have to stop watching this movie because I've watched it twice now and just thinking about it get's me crying. Like in the lobby today talking to this first year. She's all like 'omg do you need a hug' and I'm like 'no man I got this I just have to stop thinking about it' ...so I try not to think about it in public.
Walking around my house and sobbing profusely is safe though.
But really I just wanted to write this blog to thank the people I love and who are there for me, even the ones that don't realize they're there for me. I love you and thank you.

Woop! Woop! It's Da Sound of Da Police!

Alright peeps.
So legit why I'm posting this song is because
1-I think it's funny
2-I've solved my stalker problems! (as far as I know)

So if you read my last 2 posts I told you about those two guys in the library that have been like following me and trying to get me to go out with them and just generally pissing me off.
Not to mention their super freaking creepy because they'll see me come in on the first floor and go hide some where else on another floor and wait for me to get to them and then try to talk me up.
Soops creepy.
So I was closing on Sunday and I was like you know what! I've had enough!
I've had a long day already. I don't need this creeps bothering me.
So I walk in the library.
I see them.
They see me.
They start their hiding games.
I go looking for them.
I find them in bottom floor stacks just creepin, pretending to study.
I don't even play man
I walk up to them and I tell them that if they don't leave me alone I will tell Campus Security. I will get a harassment claim against them. And I will get them expelled from school for threatening me and endangering a university employee.
They were pretty shocked.
I also know, because I went to this stupid lecture on visas for my stupid first year english class that they're not canadian
They're exchange students
So if they get expelled for harassment then they probably get deported and can never come back...I think they'll freaking leave me alone now.
HA!
Ha ha!
HA!
I am so happy!
Peace. <3

Get Me To a Nunnery!

So guys, I've been thinking and yes. It's time.
Sign me up for the Nun Life!
Now I know what you're thinking, Cecilly you can't just run off and join a nunnery!
...Well yes I did think that and then people started explaining me all the steps that it takes to become a nun I think so that I would not become a nun...
Apparently you have to show up and chill there for 3 years just thinking about being a nun and decided if it's right for you. Then you've got to give up all your things and spend a lot of time thinking of god and praying...and then after like hundreds of years of nunhood you and god can get married...
Or something like that...
But you know I'm pretty dead set in this nun thing so I think I can just skip all those things and go straight to being a nun...I suppose I could marry god too if I really must but I don't particularly feel like sharing my husband with millions of other nuns...that's just creepy.
But I'mma do it and here's my reasons why!
1-I've decided I'm not mentally able to cope with the loss of my best friend and solid rock. No, Alfred's not dead. But he's gone off to date this crazy chick Cathleen who you know I don't actually hate but is super possessive of her man and hates me.
Understandable because as most women who enter relationships, the child has gone out of her mind and obviously sees me as a threat to the fused entity that is them by having Alfred as my friend. Needless to say I have been very upset over all of this though I absolutely see where she's coming from Alfred was still my best friend. I told that kid everything, I can't count the number of times he has dealt with my hysterics, brought ice cream when I need cheering up, sat through Pride & Prejudice (BBC and Kiera Knightly versions). I don't know how I would have stayed sane the past 3 years of university without him...but I guess I'm going to have to find out...and now I have to wash my own dishes which sucks.
But seriously sadness which I'm accepting.
2-I think I am a victim of harassment ? Maybe? Yeah remember those guys from my last post? The black guys at the library and one of them asked me out?
Well now they've both asked me out like the one guy needed to prove he was better than the other by getting me to say yes. I have no said yes I just walk away from them now! And they're super creepy! I'm always really careful when I'm patrolling the library cause I don't want to see them and usually they're on the first floor....but they've been getting sneakier!
They're studying in different  places all the time so I'll think I'm safe and bam there they are on the 3rd floor! And they always try to talk to me, ask me how my day was. It's not friendly it's creepy. But it's not like terrible yet...they haven't tried to follow me home...
And if they try and touch me I will just break their fingers and that will be that.
3-All the guys I know as a whole have just been too touchy lately....maybe it was just drunk me being hyper aware of people passing by me but just all the hands and the limbs and then these two guys who I've never seen before out of no where! Telling me and my drunk friend who I'm trying to help that we should kiss? NO  THANK YOU RUDE DOUCHE! So men are out and even though all these girls keep wearing red lipstick around me and I find them super attractive I have no interest in dealing with lady problems and I have no intention of taking those ladies away from the other men and women that do wanna deal with them.
4-If you don't send me to a nunnery I'll be forever lost in a sea of cute sloth gifs and videos. At least in a nunnery there's no internet just lots of reading and praying and singing! My life will not be wasted on those things if I'm in a nunnery!

Come on guys you know you wanna pay my entrance fee!!!!
So yeah basically I'm off to sing about hills alive with music in an Austrian nunnery because I miss my friend, I hate boys, boys are pigs, and sloths have taken over my world!
Seems legit right?

Black Etiquette: Acknowledgment

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
le people who read my blog I acknowledge your presence, I acknowledge you think I'm cool enough for your weekly routine, I acknowledge that there are many things I wish to write to you about since school has restarted but I have not the energy.
You know what's difficult? Being happy against your will ALL THE TIME!!
Something rather awful has happened recently in my life (no, no one has died fear not) and I just feel so terrible all the time (not terrible as if I did something wrong but terrible as in depressed) but I'm not depressed and I know this I can't imagine what depression must be like but probably like looking at life through a tube with a black force pressing down on you.
I do not feel like that...I guess I'm just sad. That's more accurate but like no one would ever know that I'm feeling sad because during the day it's like I'm floating on top of the world with an anchor of sadness tying me down.
Which has translated to people going...wtf is wrong with Cecilly she's so freaking happy all the time, how awful. I KNOW!
And now all you reading are like wow...this girl is on drugs isn't she? That makes all this make a whole lot of sense...
Well...yes and no? I'm not on drugs or happy pills or anything but I take Omega3 (fish oil) pills which are for your heart to make it healthy and since my heart will probably give out by 30 because I like Mexican food too much, my father feels that they're good for me and I can't disagree. But they improve so many things, your heart, lungs, bones, joint pain, and mental health! (something about insulating nerve cells in the brain or something) It's basically like a happy pill that isn't meant to be a happy pill but will help your happy levels out anyways.
Which you know is fine...I don't mind being happy but it also makes me feel more inclined to tell people things...I don't trust people enough to tell them such important things about my life...so I tell select people. I look at all my friends and go duck duck duck Goose! Because everyone knows ducks can't be trusted so I have to take a chance on the geese in my life (I think I have about 3 full fledged geese I would trust with the secrets of my existence)...which is basically just Antonio because I know he could not give a rip but won't tell me to go away and he won't tell anyone else because he doesn't like betraying people.
Yeah girls. Get yourself a good guy friend...who doesn't read your blog and will never find out you call him Antonio.
Also girls! Don't fall for your guy friends they're your friends who are boys why do you feel inclined to make them your boyfriends! ...well I guess guys do this too. Whatever make yourselves miserable...or get married. or both. Both may be for you.
Whatever! We're not talking about Cecilly issues. We're talking about what happened at work today!
So I work at the library as you may know from my pathetic ex running away from me there posts. And there are always these 2 black guys there when I work.
Now black people have this silent agreement or whatever that when you see another black person on the streets, in the library, at the beach you will smile/nod/ usually say hello. Lord knows if I know why! But my father ingrained it in me when I was a young child and I can't help but do it now and I'm no where near him. Maybe it's just a first world problem because there are so many white people around . Maybe it's just a way to acknowledge that there is another person of your colour walking around in your city who's ancestors experienced racism and slavery just like your ancestors. Just a common understanding that when you see each other you must nod to acknowledge your related ancestor struggles or like a "man, those white people you know?"  (to any other black people reading this who feel offended, I'm sorry)

So there are these 2 black guys that are ALWAYS there and they're pretty good. I've never caught them eating, I know they do because sometimes they have tupperware or garbage on their desks but they're quiet and they seem pleasant so I'm not going to be like I see you've eaten next time don't. And we always smile and acknowledge the other's ancestors or whatever.
So today I'm almost off work I'm so revved to get out of the library and I'm walking back to the loan desk and one of them smiles at me as I'm walking by and turns like normal people do to ask me a question and he's like "how are you?"
IMMEDIATE SUSPICION!
But I am Canadian so I must be polite...."I'm good thanks how are you?"
I pray please all mighty powers of the world and anything else that this man just wants computer help on which I know nothing about.
"I'm good, I'm good...so what's your name?" oooooono!
I should have lied! I would have if I had not a name tag!
"oh that's a nice name, so you work here?" "mmhmm..." "cool cool so can I get your number?"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why sir! I work in the library! I acknowledge you because we are both black! I have, to my knowledge, never made any advances or indications that I find you either attractive or that I want you! NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY NUMBER!
So like every girl in this situation I lie and say oh I have a boyfriend thanks...which he didn't seem to care about. Like he was going to be better than my non-existent boyfriend I just had to give him my number and he would prove that.
....
I did not give him my number.
But he had wasted the last 5 minutes of my shift and I ran back to the Phoenix where it is safer and I don't worry about random people I don't know trying to engage with me.
So there you go.
That's what this blog post was about but I don't edit so if you've made it this far I would tell you to forget that first part but I'm not going to go back and delete all that.
Sigh how to be pathetic? See Cecilly.
Lols bye!